The Atua Man

by John Stephenson

  Elizabeth stood up as Larry bowed to her, gently took her hand and kissed it in the European manner. “Your devotees await, and I am more than honored to escort you into the hall,” he said without a hint of pretense.

  “Thank you, Larry. You’re always so gracious when I come to Hawaii.”

  Larry was more than flattered.

  “How’s the preparation for your trip? I trust it’s going smoothly.”

  Marjorie picked up Elizabeth’s shawl, and followed them to the elevator. Not wanting to let an opportunity pass for a private moment with his teacher, Larry said, “Jason is beginning to think like a sailor. I’m proud to have had a hand in transforming him.”

  Elizabeth just nodded, not willing to be drawn into a full conversation. Her mind was already turning within so that her message that night would be spiritually based, not coming from human opinion. “He’s starting to notice all the little things that constantly need to be done around the boat,” Larry continued, “and does his best to take care of them. The month in the yard was good for him. We let him stay with us for ten days during the worst of the refitting, but he preferred being on his own, even if it meant staying on the boat with all the dirt and jets taking off overhead.”

  “Have you been paying him?” Elizabeth broke her practice of not engaging in “this world” before a class session.

  “I’ve been keeping a log of his hours. Remember, our deal was that he would be working for his trip.”

  “I think you should give him some pocket money. Otherwise he’s going to feel like a slave.”

  Larry covered his reaction well. “He’s your son. You know him better than I do, but our agreement didn’t include me paying him any money. It becomes so messy with taxes and all. Besides, he said he has some money.”

  “Larry, this whole trip is going to be an out-picturing of your consciousness. If you prepare properly, it will open your eyes to the wonders of the Kingdom. If not, you will face the brunt of material cause and effect. Do you meditate with Jason?”

  “No. We haven’t been together at those times.”

  “I’d ask him to meditate with you at any time.”

  The elevator arrived at the lobby and Elizabeth and her party quickly made their way to the ballroom. Most people were already seated inside the auditorium, silently waiting for the Spirit of God to fill the hall. A few people were milling about in the foyer, looking at books and the recorded tapes and CDs Elizabeth had for sale. When they saw her they quickly entered the ballroom.

  Elizabeth could feel the love and peace flowing from the auditorium. What was it that drew all these people from the far corners of the planet to spend their days and nights with her in a hotel ballroom when the beauty of Hawaii stood just outside? She knew the answer and felt the Divine Presence, which was the real draw. There was more satisfaction, fulfillment, and excitement in this room than in all the attractions of Waikiki. She knew the Spirit of God, within each individual in the audience, was breaking through the constraints of human thought, and that knowledge gave her a bigger thrill than anything else on Earth.

  Elizabeth chuckled to herself. If her followers ever caught the secret, a secret Elizabeth had been revealing all of her adult life to anyone who would listen, they wouldn’t scurry away in fear or awe. Nor would they puff themselves up when they were seen with her. But alas, that secret was as hard to hold on to as a squirming child.

  It certainly wasn’t her personality that drew them to the workshop. It never ceased to amaze her when that feeling of peace came. She detached from all the pains, concepts, hopes, and desires of those around her. Her countenance glowed with an inner light and her fifty-one-year-old face became timeless and ageless.

  Before entering the ballroom, Elizabeth stopped and turned to Larry. “If you want Jason as a talisman on this voyage of yours, you better recognize the depth of what he has to offer.”

  Without waiting for his response, she entered the ballroom, walked down the aisle with the grace and beauty of a runway model, and took her place at the podium. After a few more moments of meditation, when the silence filling the room virtually thundered, she began to speak.

  It was dark when David woke up. He was hot and sweaty and a little disoriented by the slight movement of the yacht. It took a moment for him to remember where he was and why he was on a boat in Hawaii. In the last four months he had slept in dozens of beds, on trains, been in eight European countries, three in North Africa, and hitchhiked the Anatolian coast of Turkey. He’d been in every major art museum and gallery in Europe, seen the great ruins of long dead empires, felt a great presence in the Hagia Sophia, and a deep peace in John the Apostle’s cave on Patmos. It took a moment for him to remember why he was on a boat in Hawaii.

  Jason had left a note: “Meet me at the Hau Terrace in the Kaimana Beach Hotel. 8:30 sharp!” Great. That meant long pants and shoes, not what David was in the mood for. But this was Jason’s gig, so he locked up the yacht and set off for Waikiki.

  Jason sat at a table next to the neoclassical railing that separated the Hau Tree Lanai from the sand. A grand hau tree made a roof over the terrace with its low hanging branches.

  “How was the surf?” David asked as he sat down.

  “Okay. How was your nap?”

  “Good.”

  “I recommend the opakapaka,” Jason handed David a menu. “It’s a snapper; their specialty.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’ve eaten. Lillian will be joining us for dessert.”

  “Who’s Lillian?” Jason had not mentioned a girlfriend.

  “You’ll like her. She’s one of Mom’s students and helps edit her manuscripts. She’s English. She’s smart, studied acting at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, writes well, loves art. Did I say she’s absolutely beautiful?”

  “Are you in love?”

  “Could be. You won’t be able to take your eyes off her.”

  “You are in love!”

  “Hey, what about you? You wouldn’t travel all over Europe for months if you had a steady girl.”

  “I’m a patient man.”

  Jason was no longer paying attention to David. His eyes were drawn to the entrance by an invisible force and he rose to greet it. David followed Jason with his eyes to the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. She stood at the top of the stairs like a goddess, her gaze dancing off the mere mortals dining below. She then floated down into the lanai like a cool breeze in the humid night. She wore a colorful Hawaiian-print blouse, unbuttoned to reveal a tanned chest and a bit of cleavage. She was perfectly proportioned and glided across the floor into Jason’s arms. Suddenly they were the only people in the room. Jason pulled her narrow waist tight to his and kissed her deeply. It was a kiss reserved for lovers whose love was so exclusive that no one else existed in that moment. It was a kiss that made David feel like this romantic spot was destined to bring lovers together, heal all discord, and bridge the differences between people of every culture.

  Maybe it would even bring David love.

  Jason walked the goddess over to their table. David stood up, totally distracted by her presence, and Jason introduced his love to his best friend.

  “Meet Lillian Harvey.”

  David had barely said hello when Jason continued, “How was the class tonight, as if I need to ask?”

  Lillian radiated light. Jason gave her one more quick but telling kiss before he sat her across from David.

  “Your mother was in top form today,” Lillian said in her proper British accent.

  “This is Dave Walker, my best friend.”

  David stood again and Lillian offered her hand without getting up. “Dave, so nice to meet you.”

  David smiled and took her hand gently. “J.J. never mentioned he had a girlfriend.”

  “J.J. and Davy … I bet you two were holy terrors. Why do I suddenly feel like an outsider?”

  “You shouldn’t,” David sat back down. “J.J. and I haven’t seen each other for a few years.�
�

  “Davy was the terror. I was the good one,” Jason said, smiling broadly.

  Lillian ignored him. “I don’t believe that.” She smiled at David, sizing him up like she would a costar in a play. “I just wanted to say hello. I’ve got an early class with your mum tomorrow.”

  “Don’t go yet. The coconut pie is out of this world,” Jason was basking in her presence.

  “That’s what I’ve heard. Tell me Dave, do you follow a spiritual path?”

  “I don’t follow any religion. If anything, art is my religion.”

  Lillian then looked directly into David’s eyes. “Didn’t you and J.J. practice some sort of pagan ritual in your Indian lodge?”

  Yanked from his heady intoxication with Lillian, David thought, Oh my God, she thinks I’m a fag! Flicking Jason an icy stare, David said to him, “I’ll have some coconut pie …” finishing the sentence in his head … to throw in your face.

  “I thought you and J.J. meditated together until you went to Orange County and became a Baptist! You see, J.J. has told me all about you.” Lillian relished the surprise on David’s face.

  “I did keep some secrets, Dave,” Jason said.

  David was livid but chose to keep it hidden. Some things about Jason never changed.

  “I like what Dr. Green says about lineage and background,” Lillian murmured in her smooth voice, which caused one to lean in closer to hear every word. “That until we no longer identify with human parentage, race, nationality, and all that, we won’t experience the fullness of Spirit.”

  “I guess I won’t be trading on my name, then,” Jason teased.

  “I thought you and your mother were already a team,” David replied.

  “She’s the main event. I just fill in as needed. Besides, I’m not sure I want to follow in her footsteps. There are plenty of people out there who want that kind of work and relish the guru business.”

  “You should take a close look at yourself and find out what your greatest talent is,” Lillian said rather sternly, “and then follow it.”

  “Should?” Jason said. “Too many people have my life planned out for me. What I ultimately do with my life will have nothing to do with how others see me.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. It’s just that you have such an incredible and unique way of explaining mystical principles that I can’t imagine you doing anything else.” She turned to David. “Every time we’re with a group of people and the conversations turn to spiritual things, as soon as Jason says anything, people want more. And these are sophisticated people. I work in the entertainment industry, and I’ve introduced Jason to many of my friends.” She turned back and faced Jason. “You can deny it if you want, but someday you’re going to have to grow up and accept the challenge.”

  Jason looked at David, and then at Lillian, and then began to laugh. “So, I’m God’s gift to the world. I guess I can deal with that.”

  His remark clearly annoyed Lillian. “I wasn’t joking, Jason. Recognition is a very important spiritual principle. Look, you two have a lot to catch up on. I’m going back to the hotel. I want to keep pondering Elizabeth’s lecture and keep it alive in my mind.”

  She got up and left, but before she reached the exit, she turned and walked back to the table like she was taking a curtain call. Every eye was on her, particularly David’s. Her long legs and shapely body carried her across the room effortlessly and her silk skirt moved around her ankles like pools of sea foam. Her jeweled sandals and painted toes were like tropical fish in rhythm with the surge of the sea. Her auburn hair framed an English face kissed gently by the sun; her sea-blue eyes became oases in the sand. At least that’s what David saw. She said nothing but bent down and kissed Jason passionately on the lips.

  David then watched her vanish up the stairs and into the tropical night.

  Jason chuckled, fully aware of Lillian’s impact. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the heat.”

  Chapter 13

  Waikiki, Hawaii

  Thursday April 27, 1989

  David was late to Elizabeth’s class. Jason had wanted the two of them to go surfing that morning, but David wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to hear Elizabeth, now the renown Mrs. St. John. The two got into a tiff and Jason left for the North Shore. He wouldn’t drop David off at the class, complaining it was out of the way.

  David was pissed at Jason’s attitude. It was like he was running away from something and didn’t care how his behavior affected others. And it was a long walk to the hotel where the class was being held. But it gave David time to think. He didn’t understand why Jason didn’t participate in his mother’s work in Hawaii. Was it because of Lillian? Or was it because of their pending trip? David felt a dynamic taking place that made him uncomfortable. David had never heard Elizabeth teach before and he was curious. He wondered if the few times he’d gone to the Christian Science Sunday school with Jason had affected him. On closer thought, it was Elizabeth who had impressed him. Her gentle power and ability to keep calm in the midst of chaos was something David wanted to learn. Was Christian Science really “a religion without balls” as his father had said, something to be purged of? Or did it reveal one of the basic teachings of early Christians—spiritual healing? Now, after seeing the religious art in Europe, David was ready to find out what mysticism was all about.

  And of course, Lillian would be there.

  When he arrived, the lady at the registration table outside the Stevenson Ballroom didn’t want to let David join the class. He wasn’t pre-paid. He wasn’t on her list. And Mrs. St. John was already inside meditating.

  “Then let’s not waste time.” David wrote out a check.

  “Have you studied Dr. Green’s books or heard Mrs. St. John’s recordings? Those are the prerequisites for the class, and you must attend all the sessions,” the woman told him. She had snowy white hair and a grandmotherly look, but her attitude was as stubborn as a bureaucrat.

  “Yes to both questions,” David lied. “And I’ve met Dr. Green. I apologize for being late. I just arrived in the islands last night and would love to be able to enter the room and join in the meditation before Mrs. St. John begins speaking.” He tore the check from his checkbook and slipped it to her as if it were a bribe.

  The ballroom was filled, and David scanned the crowd for Lillian. There she was, meditating in the back with an empty chair beside her. He slipped in and sat next to her. It was profoundly quiet, and Lillian didn’t seem to notice him.

  Elizabeth’s session dealt with breaking down the barriers that prevented people from experiencing their spiritual heritage. She covered all the pleasures and distractions that divert one’s attention from witnessing the activity of Spirit. David couldn’t help but think she was talking to Jason out on the North Shore surfing perfect little four-foot waves. David presumed surfing was one of those distractions.

  But then, to be fair, so would sailing, painting, and any other human activity. She went on to point out that there wasn’t a wall between daily life and spiritual awareness. The goal was to come to the point where anyone could see the Divine in every experience. In doing that, what would seem evil and destructive would dissolve in the face of Spirit, for in Spirit there is no adversity, only love. There came a point where David no longer heard her words. He was enveloped in a profound peace, and when the session ended, Lillian gently nudged him back into “this world.” She motioned to him and he followed her out.

  They found a table in the shade of a coconut palm in the courtyard of the hotel and ordered fruit drinks. Lillian took David’s hand and looked deeply into his eyes.

  “I’m very glad you’re here with Jason,” she said seriously. “I haven’t been able to get past his façade of spiritual detachment, at least since I arrived. I think this trip is a disaster. It’s nothing but a lot of male ego bent on proving itself. Have you met Larry?”

  David hadn’t.

  “A more pompous, arrogant, egotistical man I’ve never met. I’m sorry to say
that right after such a beautiful lesson, but every time I see him, I shiver,” she continued. “He’s attending the class, you know.”

  “Wow. Strange…”

  “I knew it was you when you sat beside me in class. I didn’t want to interrupt my meditation to acknowledge you, but I was thrilled to see you there. J.J.’s told me all about you, well—you know that—but you’ve got to convince him not to go on this voyage. I can’t bear the thought of what Larry might do when he’s away from civilization, out to sea.”

  She took a breath. David didn’t know how to respond. “He’s cruel, David. Not many see it. I don’t think Elizabeth does. But then she only sees the perfect and the true. I’ve known men like him before. The West End is full of them. They’re very good actors; very good at burying that unpleasant side of themselves—and I’m not talking about actors per se. There are men who have that dark side, and unfortunately, I can see it. I’ve met men the world reveres, and tremble at what they do when freed from the civilizing constraints of women and society. Jason has none of that. He’s a true innocent, and that’s part of what I love about him, but I don’t think he can survive in the long run with a man like that. Larry will kill his soul.”

  A thousand thoughts jammed David’s mind. They ran the gamut from suddenly and completely falling in love with her, to thinking that she was another off-the-wall weirdo, and the reason why he seldom attended these types of events. She let go of his hand and took a long drink of her juice.

  “Do you think Larry has ulterior motives?” David asked.

  “Not at all. I don’t think Larry is aware of his shadow side; he’s in such denial. He’s a weak man, David. He’s doing this trip to win his daughter. When she arrives, you two better beware.”

  “I appreciate your warning, but I don’t think J.J. is going to back out now. He’s made a commitment and knowing him, he never breaks his word short of death.”

  “I know. I just wanted to warn you because J.J. won’t listen to me. I mean, he does, but with all of his spiritual awareness, he relegates all of this to fear and dismisses it. But he’s going to have to face that man, and I pray he doesn’t lose his life doing it.”