The Atua Man

by John Stephenson

  David was taken back by Lillian’s warning. Her revelation added another layer to the undercurrents of rebellion and resistance he was picking up from Jason. But from his experience there were always issues people were unwilling to bring to light. That Lillian was willing just made her more beautiful in David’s eyes.

  “I’m jealous” David said. “I’ve never seen two people so much in love, and so reluctant to just accept it and enjoy it.”

  “Don’t tell Jason what I said… Or maybe you should. I know he loves me, but he’s so independent and self-complete that sometimes all I can think of is to play hard to get. I’ve known him five years and knew at our first meeting that we would be married. That was three lecture tours with his mother and one girlfriend ago. But he keeps coming back to me. This time, though, I’m frightened.”

  “As Elizabeth said this morning, all we can do is let go and trust in Divine Love, which has always known our needs and fulfills them.” Lillian’s eyes welled up with tears with David’s reminder of what Elizabeth said. It was all he could do not to reach across the table and take Lillian’s hand.

  “I love him too and I won’t let anything happen to him.”

  “Oh David, I know. I feel like you’re family. You really are Jason’s brother, you know.” With tears streaming down her face, Lillian got up and left.

  David didn’t go to the afternoon sessions. The morning lessons and his talk with Lillian had given him all he could handle. Impulsively, he rented a convertible at the hotel and drove around the island. When he got to the boat that evening, sunburned and tired, Jason was sitting in the cockpit playing his ukulele.

  “So you played hooky, too,” he said.

  “Needed to think about what your mother taught this morning.”

  “Lillian got to you, didn’t she?”

  “We talked after the class.”

  “She told me. You know, this is going to be an incredible trip. I think it’ll be one of those defining moments of our lives.”

  Jason looked at David with a certainty that David had seen many times before. It was the same knowing that David had seen when they’d been inducted into the Order of the Arrow. “Are you taking me on another rite of passage?” David asked his friend.

  Jason laughed. “Which one stands out to you?”

  “I guess your fifteenth birthday when we met Dr. Green.”

  Los Angeles

  July, 1980

  It was a warm July afternoon and the first good swell of the summer had arrived at Malibu—the kind of wave every surfer dreamt about.

  June Walker had driven David up to the Palisades especially for Jason’s birthday—something they had always celebrated together. She had no idea that her son would be whisked off to some mystical guru. Birthdays for her boys—she looked at Jason as part of her family too—would be hotdogs on the beach and surfing. And David had no idea that he’d be a witness to one of Jason’s early spiritual breakthroughs.

  The boys sat in the back seat of Elizabeth’s two-year-old Pontiac. Elizabeth’s friend Gloria, the fourth person in the car, knew Dorothy Delany, Dr. Green’s hostess in Los Angeles and the one who had arranged the party.

  David constantly reminded Jason of the sacrifice he was making in the name of friendship by putting on a borrowed coat and tie from Jason and taking tea with some guru. “Will he be wearing saffron robes?” David whispered to Jason.

  “Gloria hasn’t mentioned robes, but I think he has a shaved head and wears a jewel between his eyes,” Jason replied.

  “I heard that, J.J.” Gloria turned to give the boys a stern look. She was made up like she was going to the Academy Awards. Her raspy cigarette voice and don’t-mess-with-me attitude contradicted the sparkle in her eye. “Actually, he’s become an Indian sadhu and wears nothing at all. He’s completely renounced this world and I want you boys to honor that. Whatever you do, don’t stare at his nakedness.”

  “Gloria! That’s taking it a little too far,” Elizabeth chided.

  “Have you ever met him, Mom?” Jason asked.

  “You know I haven’t, but I’ve seen pictures of him, and Gloria is totally out of line right now.”

  “You know we’re not going into the presence of some exotic magician. Dr. Green reminds me of a studio head I once knew. If you let his reputation intimidate you, you’ll miss what he has to offer.”

  “I didn’t know you’d met him, Gloria,” Elizabeth pressed.

  “I’ve had letters from him, and I’ve heard his tapes.”

  “I say we just be ourselves and let J.J. enjoy his birthday.” Elizabeth had pronounced the current attitude; she always set the tone, and it was amazing how willingly everyone followed along.

  David looked over at his buddy and rolled his eyes. Suddenly this birthday party was losing some of its luster and it hadn’t even started.

  “Did you say Dorothy’s apartment was on Franklin?” Elizabeth asked Gloria.

  “Yes, between Laurel Canyon and La Brea.”

  They were winding down Sunset Boulevard and passed the Beverly Hills Hotel on their way from the Palisades to Hollywood. The car grew quiet as Elizabeth concentrated on her driving, taking the curves like a racecar driver. There was a purpose to her driving, as if the act of maneuvering a car through the hills, if done with total dedication, would bring all the passengers into the proper frame of mind to meet Solomon Green.

  Dr. Solomon Green was, at that time, an internationally known author and teacher who had introduced mysticism and meditation to Western thought in post-World War II California. His work had opened the door to the spiritual revolutions of the late 1960s that had unlocked the minds of young people to the possibilities of spiritual healing and a world living in peace. Dr. Green had a large following as a Christian Science practitioner, which meant that he was an effective healer and counselor, and when he began to present mystical ideas to his clients, the Church excommunicated him and sought to discredit his work.

  Elizabeth was also a journal practitioner in the Christian Science movement at that time, and to meet someone with Dr. Green’s reputation could jeopardize her standing in the Church. In the Christian Science religion, being a “journal practitioner” meant that Elizabeth had been “class taught” in the faith by an authorized teacher and had had numerous testimonies presented to the Mother Church in Boston verifying the healings she had performed. Her position as a leader in the local church, as well as her reputation as a practitioner, excluded tinkering with any other metaphysical or transcendental teachings. The intent behind that regulation, according to Mary Baker Eddy—the founder of the Christian Science movement in the nineteenth century—was to keep the faithful pure from conflicting thoughts so as to be the more perfect instrument of God’s healing grace.

  Elizabeth fully embraced the tenets of the church—up to a point. Her life was good. She had status in her church, was respected in the community, and loved by her family. She knew how to resolve most problems metaphysically, if not spiritually, and yet there was something driving her to explore new areas of spiritual thinking. Jason encouraged his mother’s search. He wanted to know the secrets of life too! Mysticism and meditation were their current passions. They would secretly meditate in the afternoons when Jason got home from school. Today this sounds so common, so normal. But for a Christian Scientist to meditate like that, at that time, would be like a Jew celebrating Easter with a Virginia ham.

  The church had very strict tenets against what Elizabeth and her son were doing. Any Eastern religious practices were not allowed. Theirs was a religion based on the scientific understanding of primitive Christianity and effective prayer. Their focus was to “have that mind which was in Christ Jesus.” By developing that mind, they would be praying aright, and with proper prayer they could meet every human need with the same attitude as their “way-shower,” Christ Jesus. Meditation, psychic phenomena, the occult, spiritualism, and contact with the other side were distractions from their purpose. All they needed to practice their
religion was the wisdom of the Bible and the insights found in the writings of Mary Baker Eddy.

  Christian Science is also an individualistic religion. Each member of the church is responsible for his or her understanding of the truth. All of this Jason understood. When his mother began listening to Dr. Green’s taped lectures, things began to change. Jason and his mother meditated instead of prayed. They stopped using affirmations and denials—affirming the truth and denying that the problem was real. They sought the tangible experience of the presence of God, and that changed their concept of Mind. Thus, in the eyes of the church what they were doing was heresy.

  David had seen Jason change over the fourteen months since his family had moved to Costa Mesa, and David wanted to know what Jason was learning. David quickly realized that the Baptist way was not for him. He wanted to be like Jason, unconventional and independent. But gurus? Masters? Whatever you called them; they were off the charts for him. That Jason even wanted to meet Dr. Green, rather than spend his fifteenth birthday surfing with his buddies, spoke volumes.

  Dorothy’s apartment looked out over old Hollywood to the city below. The living room opened onto a balcony filled with semi-tropical plants and palms. Viewing the city was like looking through a jungle to a dismal future. The day was smoggy, and the plants helped clear the air, even if they did make the living room dark. Dorothy’s furniture was comprised of heavy Eastern European antiques, and as Dorothy met the St. John party at the door, her slender pale appearance, dressed completely in black, gave the impression of a saint having transposed herself into the city of the future but unable to abandon her familiar trappings from the past. She graciously brought her guests into the living room, where Dr. Green sat in a garnet colored wing chair. Half a dozen of his followers were seated in the room, and they all seemed to know one another.

  David felt completely out of place. He started noticing Dorothy’s art as a way to connect, but it heightened the foreign feeling he’d had when he walked in. Dorothy’s taste tended toward early Renaissance religious paintings in dull gilt frames. By the looks of things, he knew it was going to be a very long afternoon. He nudged Jason to signal a wipeout, but Jason had locked eyes with Dr. Green and there was fire between them. David looked at Elizabeth and she too was locked into the silent communication with the master. For the longest moment no one moved or said a thing. Dorothy, ever gracious, waited for a barely noticed nod from Dr. Green before introducing her new guests.

  Solomon Green looked like a Jewish jeweler from Sixth Street in downtown Los Angeles. He was short; his feet barely touched the floor when he sat. He had close- cropped wiry hair streaked with gray, heavy black-framed glasses, and a huge midriff. His coat was unbuttoned, revealing trousers that were belted halfway up his torso. He wore a floral print tie favored by old time movie moguls (Gloria was right) and a sparkling white shirt. He didn’t get up when introduced to Jason, but he did shake the boy’s hand with a firm, friendly grip.

  “I understand it’s your birthday, Jason,” he said with a glint of amusement. “Can’t imagine anything more delightful than being dragged before a bunch of old hens for a tea, no offense ladies.”

  “I did want to meet you,” he replied.

  “So we’ve met. Would you like to go now?”

  “Not really. I heard there was a birthday cake here somewhere. Wouldn’t want to miss that.”

  “Tell me, why did you want to meet me?”

  “I like to meditate. My mom said it was your idea.”

  “That’s flattering, but meditation is hardly my idea. The Orient has been meditating for thousands of years. What does it mean to you?”

  “My mom says …”

  “No,” Dr. Green interrupted. “I don’t want to know what your mom has told you about meditating. I want to know what it means to you.”

  “I suppose it’s like praying without talking,” Jason said. Dr. Green had suddenly become animated. He no longer looked like an old Jew; his appearance changed with his attitude, which was full of life and curiosity. He was totally interested in Jason.

  “Well, how is God going to hear you if you don’t say anything?”

  “He knows all. What’s there to say? I think it’s more important to listen,” Jason said. The others in the room began to notice Jason. Dorothy sat on the arm of Dr. Green’s chair and paid close attention to the exchange.

  “Then meditating is listening?” Dr. Green asked.

  “In a way. Is this a birthday quiz?”

  “No, no. Mrs. St. John, come sit closer.” An Asian woman who was sitting next to Dr. Green got up without hesitation and gave Elizabeth her chair. Dr. Green leaned over close to her and said, “Have you and Jason been practicing meditation as I outlined in my book?”

  “In essence,” she answered. “We light candles and bring out our meditating cushions. There’s a beautiful view from our house and we sit looking at the view until we feel the silence…”

  “No music? No mantra?”

  “No. As you’ve said in your book, we watch our thoughts and our breath until our minds are still.”

  “Is this what you do, Jason?” Dr. Green turned suddenly to Jason. He tensed up. It was like being called on by the teacher after you’d already answered the question and you thought you were off the hook, but suddenly were not.

  “Yeah, sort of.”

  “Well, do you or don’t you? Meditation isn’t a kind of, sort of, practice. Do you play a musical instrument?”

  “The guitar.”

  “Do you practice?”

  “Sort … ”

  “No, no, no! Do you practice?”

  “Yes.”

  “Every day?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you enjoy it? Are you good enough to get pleasure from it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Meditation should give you the same kind of feeling you get when you’ve figured out a new song and can play it perfectly.”

  Jason, who had been standing next to his mother, sat down on the floor in front of Dr. Green. David sat down too, leaning up against Elizabeth’s chair. Elizabeth subtly put her hand on Jason’s shoulder, gently relaxing him and signaling to him that this was not a contest. She had heard of this kind of teaching, but never witnessed it. In her experience, the teacher presented the material and explained it. Dr. Green seemed to be forcing Jason to articulate one of the deeper aspects of mysticism. Her son was just turning fifteen, a little young to face a learned master. But then Jesus debated in the temple at twelve. That must have been some bar mitzvah.

  “What happens when you look out at your view? What goes on in your mind?” Dr. Green’s tone was insistent, but kind. He really wanted to know. It felt like he wanted to get inside Jason and fill him with all the wisdom and truth of the ages.

  “Well, I know the view so well. We watch the sun rise over the city and ocean every morning. But I know it so well that I start not seeing it. It’s there, but it isn’t. There’s a point where I close my eyes, and then I’m more aware of my thoughts. That’s weird, isn’t it? When I’m looking at the view my mind is quieter than when I close my eyes.”

  “When you look at your view, what are you seeing out there?” Dr. Green asked.

  “You mean the queen’s necklace and the ocean?”

  “Are you aware of what you are observing?”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Where is what you are observing?”

  “It’s …” Suddenly Jason paused as if a something was dawning within him. It was a look David had seen in geometry class. “I’m seeing what my mind expects me to see.”

  “Is it the truth?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Explain.”

  “It’s not the truth when it isn’t harmonious and perfect. But when it’s beautiful and clear and you can see the sun rising behind Mt. San Jacinto, it’s more like God.”

  “You still haven’t answered me. Where is what you are seeing?”

  Jason thought fo
r a long moment before answering. David was totally stimulated by the exchange and had dozens of answers running through his head, also many questions. Was this a trick question? Why was Dr. Green harping on “where”? We all know where the world is. What was he trying to pull out of Jason? Was he impressed? David thought everyone else was. Finally, Jason answered. “It’s all inside of me.”

  A slight smile crossed Dr. Green’s face. He turned to Elizabeth and tenderly patted her arm. “Keep meditating with him. You’re doing a wonderful job and your boy is going to be well-equipped to handle the slings and arrows of this world.”

  Dr. Green got up and suddenly turned back into a Jewish grandpa. “Isn’t this a birthday party? I’d like some cake!”

  With that, all the ladies who had been hovering around him got up and brought out the food. Dorothy properly introduced herself to Elizabeth and Jason. She was impressed with Jason. And then the food arrived, not only a birthday cake for Jason, but cookies, strudels, tortes, and every variety of pastries. Then came the ice cream, not in cardboard containers, but already scooped out and frozen in crystal bowls. And then there were toppings for the ice cream: hot fudge, hot caramel, marshmallow, raspberries, and strawberry sauce. These old ladies knew how to throw a party. They also knew what Dr. Green liked, and his eyes lit up brighter than Jason’s upon seeing the spread.

  David smiled at the memory. That had been a beginning of sorts, for both boys, and also for Elizabeth. Suddenly he was very glad he had come to Hawaii, and glad that he would be accompanying Jason on a new adventure. For what was life, after all, without an adventure with one’s best mate?

  Chapter 14

  Ala Wai Yacht Harbor, Honolulu

  Friday April 28, 1989

  The next day Jason left again to surf the North Shore. The swell had been building overnight. He wanted David to go with him. “Be spontaneous!” But David had paid for Elizabeth’s class and wanted to be there.