Star Minds Chasing Stardom

by Barbara G. Tarn

  "Mm." Kay-low chewed his lower lip, wondering what to do. "How can I help you, Selinda? Do you want to run away from Ypsilanti, keep the baby and live happily ever after?"

  She sighed. "I don't know, Kay-low. I don't want to share you with Jay-lee. I can see you have what Kol-ian and Ker-ris have – something I will never know and that fills me with awe. I knew the risk when I slept with you. But now I'm a little confused because of my mother and aunt's reaction."

  "You shouldn't let them dictate your life. You're almost twenty, Seli! Become independent!"

  Selinda nodded slowly and looked at him. "Thank you, Kay-low. Seeing you again has given me new strength."

  "I told you, if there's anything I can do for you..."

  "I'll ask, don't worry. I will try to go back to Ypsilanti and emancipate myself from my family. If I run into any problems, I'll let you know."

  "Deal." Kay-low hugged her. "Don't hesitate to call me if you need something."

  ***

  Kay-low wrote an email to Zafar Nagarkar before actually calling him. He explained who he was and how he'd found him, asking if he could call and talk about a project. He left his number, and a couple of days later Zafar called the new apartment Kay-low shared with Jay-lee.

  Jay-lee took the call and noticing Zafar's surprise, immediately called Kay-low.

  "Oh, hey, you've just met my better half," Kay-low greeted, sitting in front of the screen with a grin. "The one that I hadn't found yet when I met you, but he was waiting for me at home. How did your homecoming go?"

  "Not so good at first," Zafar answered with a smile. "He had someone else. So I asked him how he was doing, and he said he was doing fine and his bestselling title was a story he wrote when we were still together – except he'd added more to it. The novella had turned into a full novel. So I went back to my hotel room and downloaded the book and... it was great being thrown back into that world, and I was loving the new parts until I reached the end. He killed me off. It was like a cold shower for me. He killed my character – did that mean that he had thrown me out of his life by killing me on the page?"

  "I know which story you're talking about, it's great but very sad," Kay-low commented. "So what did you do?"

  "Well, I went back to him and asked him about it and he said he had to do that to cope. I mean, I did abandon him to pursue my career... but he still loved me and the other guy bowed out, so... we're back together. He's writing a new story with a happy ending and I'm recovering from being Zaphadin."

  "That's why I called you, actually. Do you think you'll ever go back to singing?"

  Zafar winced. "I don't know. The live shows really killed me. And Dahumada..."

  "What about Kiran Hatcherd? Would you like him to manage you?"

  "Kiran?" Zafar pondered. "Yes, Kiran is a decent man. What did you have in mind?"

  Kay-low explained how he wanted to do a virtual tour and a new solo album with his real name. That he had Italian Ignorance who also wanted to go to the next level and were ready to sign with Hatcherd and he wondered if Zafar would like to join the project. Frangi might be their stylist again, but they'd go with a simpler, more casual look, since the live shows would be holograms anyway. Zafar could teach them all some dance moves, and they could sing a duet or put together all three lead singers for one song or something like that.

  Zafar looked intrigued and often looked away from the web-cam, as if consulting with someone else in the room.

  "Is Rashaun there?" Kay-low asked.

  "Yes, well, I doubt your better half has left the room," Zafar replied.

  Jay-lee leaned into the frame to wave, making Zafar chuckle. "I'm Jay-lee!"

  "Hello, Jay-lee." Zafar moved aside to allow another man to enter the frame. "This is Rashaun." Rashaun was in his forties and handsome in his own way. "He's only a part-time lyricist."

  "Jay-lee is a full-fledged composer," Kay-low said proudly. "Which is fortunate, since I'm hopeless in that department."

  "So am I," Zafar replied. "But I'm a natural born showman, I'm told."

  "You are indeed... Would you like to move to Marc'harid to work on this project? Should I call Kiran to join us?"

  Zafar agreed, so Kay-low called Hatcherd and told him about the project.

  "Have you taken on a new client yet?" Kay-low asked.

  "I haven't found anyone talented enough yet," Hatcherd answered with a smile. "And are you sure Zafar is free to start a new musical career? As far as I know, his contracts with Dahumada were pretty tight."

  "Can you check for us? You obviously know more about it than Zafar himself. We're not trying to resurrect Zaphadin, though, so there shouldn't be a conflict of interest, right?"

  "I will check and let you know," Hatcherd promised. "I'll call him and figure this out with him."

  "So should I book an apartment for you too? Will you be joining us on Marc'harid?"

  "If the project is feasible with Zafar Nagarkar, why not? Let me get back to you, Kay-low."

  Kay-low knew how efficient Hatcherd was, so he hung up and looked at Jay-lee, feeling elated.

  "The dream is a dream again. The nightmare is forgotten. Hey, if we can work with three acts, why not make it five? I could contact the Tigers and Pop Heart..."

  "The House of Meraini will become a patron of musicians?" Jay-lee teased. "Well, why not... Lots of aristocrats all over the galaxy do that for the prestige..."

  "Especially if the project is successful." Kay-low chuckled. "And we will succeed..."

  ***

  "Can we move to Mansion Meraini for our music project?" Kay-low asked during a lunch with his mother. Hatcherd, Zafar and Rashaun were coming to Marc'harid soon, and Jay-lee had suggested they move to a mansion to be free to rehearse and play music at all times, or they'd have to go to a studio to work.

  The music project had expanded. The Tigers had declined to join, and Pop Heart were no more, so Moris, Poppy and Halina had come to Marc'harid and joined forces with Laura and D'oji'mon. The new band was called Planetary Mix, with Laura as lead vocals, Moris on guitar, Poppy on bass and two drummers, which made their new sound very rhythmic. Halina could play piano and keyboards too, so sometimes she did both.

  Kay-low needed more space to accommodate everybody, hence the request of patronage to the House of Meraini.

  Bess-lin glared at him. "No," she snapped. "You've ruined this family enough. You will be able to move into Mansion Meraini when you have a family to continue the name."

  Obviously the prospect of a daughter-in-law had reawakened the Meraini pride. His mother still wanted him to breed for the glory of the house and wouldn't relent until he did. Even her "support" might not be all true – he couldn't read her shielded mind and she had never taken down her shields, unlike his father who had shared his fondest music memories with Kay-low and Jay-lee.

  Kay-low had imagined a refusal, so after the meal he went to knock on his father's door.

  "I know you renounced your birthright, but can you ask your cousins if they can lend me one of the country estates? Like, Var'villa or Oro'land..."

  "Those are out of the question for me," Kol-ian replied. "Joe-rick and Leo-will love them too much."

  "But you can have Mansion Shermac," Ker-ris added with a smile. "Since Shan-leo doesn't need it..."

  "Should I ask him?" Kay-low asked, brightening. "I mean, it's his, what if he gets sick of the city?"

  "You can ask him, but at the moment – with small children – he probably prefers staying at the capital. And by the time they grow up and he decides to retire, you might have bought your own mansion with your earnings."

  Kay-low blushed. "Do you really think so?"

  "You're as talented as your father. Just because Kol-ian decided not to become famous doesn't mean you shouldn't try. When are the guests coming?"

  "Soon – their flights are scheduled one day apart. We'll pick them up at the spaceport. I booked hotel rooms until they're all here, but then we wanted to find a bigger place to work all t
ogether..."

  "Good. I'm sure Daniele and Chantal will be happy to know Laura and D'oji'mon are at Mansion Shermac with the new band," Kol-ian said. "Planetary Mix sounds better than Italian Ignorance anyway."

  "You're awesome!" Kay-low hugged him, and then did the same with Ker-ris. "Thank you, thank you!"

  "We might check on you from time to time," Ker-ris warned with a smile. "We do like music. And dancing."

  "And we want to make sure your manager behaves."

  "Kiran is a nice manager, Dad!" Kay-low rolled his eyes. "Even Zafar is fine with him. We'll be all right."

  "We still want to hear some demos," Kol-ian insisted. "And we will."

  "Nobody will stop you," Jay-lee said. "And Ker-ris could teach us some dance moves."

  "Nah, I'm too old for that," Ker-ris said. "I'm sure Zaphadin can teach you as well."

  "You're not too old, and he's taken back his real name, Zafar," Kay-low corrected. "But since you allow us to stay at your place, you can do what you want. We're your guests after all..."

  7. A WEDDING

  Laura and D'oji'mon knew Mansion Shermac, but Poppy, Moris, Halina and Rashaun were quite impressed. Even Zafar, who had lived in a mansion during his music career, admired the old Sire house with its carpets and paintings and the grand staircase. Hatcherd looked impassive, but he wasn't.

  The house was big enough that each had his or her bedroom on the first floor – the official couples shared – and they set up a recording studio on the ground floor, next to the big living room.

  They mostly spent the days apart, but they usually met for dinner and discussed together what they'd been working on. Hatcherd was keeping an eye on the industry and was beginning to think he could set up the shows so that they'd play in remote, and a 3D version of them would be projected onto the stage. So they'd be safe from rabid fans and could still play live – from their living room – throughout the galaxy.

  "Thank you for this opportunity," Zafar said one day as he sat in the garden with Rashaun, Kay-low and Jay-lee under a warm spring sun. "How come you didn't stay in the big circuits?"

  "I saw what Dahumada had done to you," Kay-low answered, thoughtful. He could tell Zafar was recovering from his fame years, but a part of him was still traumatized. "It scared me for a moment, so when I found your mighty manager in my dressing-room, I wanted to slap him."

  Zafar smiled. "So you didn't sign with him."

  "I saw his greed and his lust." Kay-low looked Zafar in the eyes. "He was looking for another you."

  "Young, dumb and full of cum." Zafar lowered his eyes as his smile vanished. "I was stupid."

  "You were young," Rashaun corrected. "And I was blind. I left you alone with that monster."

  "Do you want to sue him?" Kay-low asked. "Send him to prison? Get your money back? We have good lawyers, if you want..."

  "No, Kay-low, I'd rather forgive and forget. Unless he finds another young man to squeeze and fuck, leave him alone."

  "As you wish." Kay-low nodded. As far as they knew, Dahumada had vanished with Zaphadin. "I also quit because I was attacked by fans like you were."

  Zafar sighed. "But you came out better. And you changed during the past six months."

  Kay-low glanced at Jay-lee and smiled. "I fell in love," he admitted.

  Zafar nodded. "And your voice is even better now that you sing for someone. And you two are... awesome together, I can't explain..."

  "Nobody can," Kay-low assured him. "Unless you're a telepath, I mean. Again, it's Jay-lee's gift – the mind link that makes us two bodies and one mind."

  Zafar stared at them, amazed.

  "We're not Mighty Sire," Rashaun said. "We're merely meek Ypsilantian men..."

  "Who found the courage to go against tradition," Kay-low replied, thinking about Selinda. "The more I hear about Ypsilantian traditions, the less I like them."

  Zafar's laughter sounded frail, as if he couldn't believe he was finally happy.

  "You haven't seen much!" he said.

  "I grew up with two Ypsilantian men, who ran away from their home planet," Kay-low replied with a smile. "Brothers, one married an Ulba'wissian, and the other is with a man. They didn't get married, but they've been together for twenty years now. Tyro is from Serenaide and he's much older than his lover. And then there's Selinda, who is going to have my baby, but I'm not marrying her because she doesn't want to share me with Jay-lee..."

  Rashaun and Zafar listened, fascinated, as Kay-low spoke of his extended family.

  "I wish we could get married." Zafar sighed, squeezing Rashaun's hand. "I'd love a traditional Ypsilantian ceremony..."

  "Don't you have relatives on Ypsilanti who can help you find a willing priestess?" Jay-lee suggested. "Like your sister or maybe your mother..."

  Zafar brightened. "That would be awesome!" He turned to Rashaun, frowning with worry. "But do you want it? Am I being selfish again?"

  Rashaun smiled. He went down on one knee in front of Zafar and took his hand. "Will you marry me, Zafar?" he asked solemnly.

  Kay-low and Jay-lee exchanged a grin as Zafar blushed and nodded, too happy to speak.

  ***

  Zafar's mother found a priestess willing to perform the religious ceremony and said she wanted to attend her son's wedding. Zafar invited even his sisters, but both declined because they had small children and they were unwilling to leave the planet in the middle of the school year. He'd visit them as soon as the album was complete to introduce his husband.

  Then Selinda called.

  "I'm so sorry, Kay-low, but this is really too hard," she said. She looked exhausted. "I feel like I must do everything myself!"

  "There's only Laura and Halina here, who have no experience with pregnancies, but I'm sure Maela and Bess-lin will dote on you if you come back," he replied. "My fiery mother wants an heir for the House of Meraini – and I'm afraid an Ypsilantian wedding isn't good enough for her."

  "I don't want to marry you," she protested. "I only want to be back on Marc'harid with my childhood friends and have my baby without being stared at as if I've grown a second head!"

  He chuckled. He could understand her frustration.

  He booked her the same flight that would bring the priestess and Zafar's parents to Marc'harid. He picked them all up at the spaceport with Zafar and took them to Mansion Shermac where things were almost ready for the wedding.

  The priestess had brought a small statue of the Goddess Ypsilanti – the planet's main deity – and they had prepared an altar under a gazebo in the garden. Zafar and Rashaun wore the traditional wedding jackets, embroidered and with high collars, and silk pants. Lara and Halina had prepared crowns of flowers for both and Zafar's mother walked him to the altar in her ceremonial gown, putting his hand in Rashaun's like a queen bestowing the crown prince.

  The priestess blessed their union and bound their wrists with a colored ribbon. Kay-low saw Selinda cry and he hugged her to calm her, knowing she was upset because of her own mother's stubbornness.

  After the rite, there was a small banquet for everyone. The two grooms had only Zafar's parents and the priestess, but then there was Selinda, and Gaurishankar with N'ell'onera and Astrid, and Markandeya with Tyro, and the other band members, and of course the house owner with his other half, his son with his family – and Bess-lin and Maela, who asked Selinda if she wanted to stay with them until she gave birth. Her voice was still shaky, but Selinda refused, having rekindled her friendship with Laura who had welcomed her back with open arms.

  "Should we prepare your wedding too?" Kol-ian asked Kay-low with an impish smile.

  For the special occasion, Kay-low had covered his tattoos with a silken shirt with long sleeves and dressed less casual than usual.

  "No, Dad." He glared at Kol-ian. "You never got married yourself, why should I?"

  Kol-ian burst out laughing.

  "He's definitely your son," Ker-ris commented, amused.

  "And Bess-lin's," Kol-ian reminded him. "She never married e
ither..."

  Kay-low smiled and hugged them both, then went to hug his mother.

  "I'll mate, Mom," he promised. "Maybe I'll even marry. But not now."

  Bess-lin sighed and squeezed him. "Oh, Kay-low, how can I expect you to do something I didn't do?" She looked at him with a sad smile. "I guess Will-son can have Mansion Meraini, after all..."

  ***

  Dear Mom,

  I know we parted screaming and shouting, but now that (I hope) we calmed down, I thought I'd update you. You might not even open this letter, but at least my conscience will be clear. I have fulfilled my daughterly duty even if you kicked me out of your life for that very reason.

  Just because I disobeyed you doesn't mean I'm an ungrateful daughter. Just because I shamed you doesn't mean you can disown me. But then... I was never truly loved, was? Especially since we went back to Ypsilanti, you remarried and had other children.

  I'm not going to put the blame on anyone, but I know you feel my birth wasn't natural. Since I was a child I felt your eyes on me and wondered why you were so pensive, so serious. Yes, you entertained me with the Ypsilantian story of the Winter Witch who brings gifts to good children, but there was always something off. I don't think you were happy to have me.

  I didn't choose to be conceived on Sylvania, you did. You went to a Fertility Center to quench your thirst for maternity. But you didn't have the courage to have me on Ypsilanti, so you went to Marc'harid to give birth and stayed with the Sylvanian who had helped you to have a baby girl.

  I know you were desperate. But I don't think you ever loved Maela, who gave you ten years of her life, sort of putting aside her own daughter to help you raise me. And then you broke up with her and finally decided to do what you should have done immediately – go back to Ypsilanti. You were married when you left, so it was no big deal if you came back with a daughter.

  It was a big deal for me, though. I was nine and when you took me away from Marc'harid, I had no idea of what to expect. I had barely met Aunt Zigaema, but didn't know anything else about your home planet. Yes, yours. I was born on Marc'harid, and that was my home planet as far as I was concerned.