Star Minds Chasing Stardom

by Barbara G. Tarn

  You took me away from everything I knew, telling lies to everyone in that new, foreign place. You had vanished for ten years from your home planet – it was easier to say you were a widow and I was your husband's daughter. You played very well the role of the inconsolable widow. It didn't take you long to find one of those meek Ypsilantian men willing to become part of your household. I don't know if he married you for your name or what. Maybe he does love you. I honestly don't care.

  He is nothing like the men I had known so far – Sire, Ulba'wissians, Gaians, even the other two Ypsilantian men who now live on Marc'harid. Yes, he's nice and he takes care of your household, but... I'm not his daughter and he knows it.

  I know, I never let him be my father, but guess what? I never missed not having one. I liked the surrogates I had on Marc'harid, not your second husband. By the way, I never told anyone the truth – that your first husband wasn't dead and had dumped you for a man. Not even when you turned your back on me. I could have gone to the authorities and told them you had two husbands, but decided not to. I wasn't going to stay on this planet anyway.

  But let's go back to the past for a moment. I watched you start your true family – finally! A married woman with a husband and two brand new children who don't look too much like you. I know my looks creep you out. But Mom, I only look very much like you. I might share your passion for dance – it runs in the family, since both you and Aunt Zigaema have made a career out of it – but I'm not you.

  I grew up feeling a stranger on Ypsilanti. Did you notice I didn't make any new friends? I guess not. I kept in touch with Dadina, though – she's the only person with one biological parent like me that I know. And I kept writing to Laura for all these years as well, even if she's a year older than me.

  And here we get to now. What happened in the past few months – how it all started. Laura told me her band would do two shows on Earth. She was excited because she'd finally see her parents' home planet. Unfortunately after the two shows the band split and she lost her boyfriend. She spent three years with Kay-low Meraini, but he dumped her and the band to embark on a solo career as a singer.

  I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him on my screen. He's gorgeous and with his rebel looks he stole my heart. He has a great voice, much like his father. I remember when Kol-ian sang for us and you danced with Ker-ris. Well, Kay-low has the same gift, a voice range I haven't heard often.

  So I wrote a song for him. I know you didn't follow the rise of Stardust Kay-low, so I'm telling you. His first album was of cover versions of the latest galactic successes, then his manager announced Kay-low was accepting submissions for song lyrics. You know, like they do with those holograms voiced by a singing synthesizer app.

  That's why I was invited to Vilas Lok, not to dance, but to meet him in person so he could thank me and the dozen other fans who helped with the second album that was released barely a month after the first. But then, the first was just a sample of what he could do, and he blew our minds with his talent.

  He received hundreds of lyrics and had to pick and choose... and my piece was one of them. When I wrote to him, I told him we hadn't met, but I had lived on Marc'harid for the first nine years of my life. When I met him, he said he had heard of me from Dadina and Laura, and that he was happy to meet me. I suggested some background dancers for his new video hit and I was hired for the job.

  Again, since you didn't follow Stardust Kay-low's career, I'm telling you now. But if you check his videos and the recording of his first live show, you can see me dancing next to him. I was just a background dancer, but I was madly in love with him. And since he's a Sire, he knew it.

  He humored me, since he doesn't like to sleep alone, and I never asked him to use protection. I knew he didn't love me – Laura had been pretty blunt in telling me "Beware, Kay-low doesn't have a heart!" – and I wanted a permanent record of my crazy passion. You've called me a slut for being pregnant while still unmarried, but this baby is the fruit of my love. I never expected Kay-low to take responsibility for it.

  My mistake was to think you were still my mother, that you would help me. When I told you I was pregnant, I expected you to be happy and give me advice on what to do to raise a child without a husband – since that's what you've done with me, with the help of Maela. I should have gone directly to her!

  You demanded to know who the father was and why he wouldn't marry me and make a respectable woman of me. Ten years on Marc'harid obviously weren't enough to change your Ypsilantian beliefs. Ten years with a Sylvanian weren't enough to make you understand that a man is not necessary in a family. Ten years away from Ypsilanti didn't open your mind at all.

  And then Aunt Zigaema jumped in the discussion. When she heard Kay-low is actually Kol-ian's son, she said we should go to Marc'harid and force Kay-low to marry me. Did you really enjoy her recounting of her attempts at seducing Kol-ian Vaurabi when he was still Imperial Prince? I didn't. Besides, I've known him as the other half of Ker-ris since I was born, and so did you.

  Why did you listen to your silly younger sister? What were you expecting? That a Sire who had rejected her twenty years ago would tell his son to marry me today? I was ashamed of both of you when you took me to see Kol-ian and Ker-ris. Kol-ian's mind transmitted to me not to worry, that I'd be all right. I was grateful that he could see I wasn't backing your silly claims.

  You fared better with Kay-low's mother. Kay-low had just found the love of his life, and he was a young man. His mother was getting desperate. She wants him to continue the House of Meraini, but he obviously will never marry, although he can impregnate a woman or two sometime in the future. I mean, he's twenty, where's the hurry? He's in love with his best friend, so?

  But the Mighty Lady Meraini summoned her son and asked him what he planned to do. Kay-low was surprised, but not upset. He took the discussion out of the room. He told me how he felt about Jay-lee. I understood he'd found his heart – he was finally in love, which made him sweeter. I told him I didn't want any of that, it was my mother and my aunt who had dragged me there.

  Life on Ypsilanti as a single mother looked very grim, though. He said if I needed help, I only needed to call him. I was born on Marc'harid, from an Ypsilantian mother. Since that very same mother proved unable to accept me for who I am, I decided to go back where I belong. I called Kay-low and he arranged my interstellar ticket.

  I traveled with a priestess who was also headed to the former Imperial planet along with an elder couple. Their son was getting married to his beloved and they wanted a traditional Ypsilantian wedding. Two men, Mom, and they'd found a priestess willing to perform the rite. And his parents were attending as if he were marrying a woman. I so envied him even before I met him...

  So here I am at Mansion Shermac. Kay-low set up a recording studio here, away from the bustle of the capital. Shan-leo doesn't need the house until he has small children, so we have a few years to set up this musical project – and I will have the baby.

  Let me tell you who we are. You know the mansion, so Kol-ian and Ker-ris have reserved the right to their room and they drop in every now and then. Kay-low and Jay-lee sleep in Shan-leo's room. Then there's Laura, who is now with Astrid's cousin, D'oji'mon.

  She told me she can't believe how Kay-low changed since he mind-linked with Jay-lee. And she admires my courage for wanting a pregnancy at such a young age. Even Dadina can't believe her eyes – and she's almost thirty by now, but still doesn't want children.

  I just thought Kay-low would be the perfect father, even if he doesn't love me. And I'm sure he will be – him and Jay-lee. Like Kol-ian and Ker-ris were with Shan-leo, and later with Kay-low himself. He had four parents, since his biological ones were in same-sex relationships.

  The other guests you don't know, but Kay-low met a band on Vilas Lok, Pop Heart – a brother-and-sister group with their best friends. Except the girlfriend dropped out, so the trio joined Laura and D'oji'mon, who are half of Kay-low's former band, Italian Ignorance (the other half
was Kay-low and Jay-lee).

  They started a new band, Planetary Mix, since Laura is Gaian (born on Marc'harid, like me), D'oji'mon is Ulba'wissian and Poppy, Moris and Halina are from Serenaide. I'm thinking of joining them. There are two drummers, so Halina is switching to keyboards with Jay-lee's help, and I can help with the backing vocals.

  I will lend my voice also to Kay-low and Jay-lee – the duo is called Optimistic Holograms and their first single is called "3D killed the video star" – and then there's also three more people here. Our manager, Kiran Hatcherd, and Zafar Nagarkar and his husband Rashaun Khanna. You might know Zafar with his previous stage name, Zaphadin.

  I can hear you gasp. I know how much you liked Zaphadin. Even if he was younger than you, you always admired him. But he retired. You can forget that name. The man will come back soon, though, using his real name. The other name is tied to his previous manager who would never allow him to use it again. So he dropped it and started from scratch.

  He's recording a duet with Kay-low. And as you will soon learn from his upcoming biography, written in tandem with Rashaun Khanna, he's Ypsilantian. Another dreaded rebel who refused to do his mother's bidding and ran away from home to be with his beloved. Except his mother ended up providing the priestess for his wedding. Yes, that's the man I had envied on the way there.

  The artist might have come out of nowhere, but I got to know the man behind the myth, and he's wonderful. If only he wasn't so in love with Rashaun... Why are all the best men only interested in other men? Sigh.

  We might write a song to sing all together. I can teach them some dance steps after I deliver my baby – although Zafar is even better than me. And Moris is very nice – apparently he also had a crush on Kay-low and we both admired Zaphadin, so we have a lot to talk about.

  Who knows, maybe eventually your wretched daughter will get married, to a man who is not the father of her child. But you've been through that, haven't you? Although your husband doesn't know who my father is, because, hey! I have no father! He might think it's Markandeya Sumirasko, but we both know better, don't we, Mom?

  If you ever decide to meet your grandson or granddaughter, you know where to find me. The baby might have a double surname or only my husband's – as is customary on Marc'harid, or Serenaide, where he comes from. Or maybe I'll do like Bess-lin Meraini, who never bothered marrying her son's father – and not only because Kol-ian wouldn't have her. She had her baby with the man she chose, much like I did with her precious son.

  You made my life hard, but I don't hate you for it. I've found a new home and I'm ready to deliver my baby. Kay-low and Jay-lee will take care of me with Moris and the others. I finally feel I have a real family – extended but loving, like the one I missed when you took me away from here.

  I'll be twenty soon, and if you showed up for my birthday, it would be the greatest gift. I'd know that you forgave me and are a little bit curious about the grandchild I will soon give you...

  So long, Mom, and thanks for giving birth to me.

  Your daughter

  Selinda

  ***

  One morning Kay-low woke up with a song in his head. A new melody with sweet lyrics, and two male voices singing in unison – a hymn to love. He hummed it in the shower and when he sat next to Jay-lee for breakfast in the kitchen, he couldn't keep it to himself.

  "I love the song you composed, I'm sure Zafar will love it too."

  "What song?" Jay-lee stared at him, puzzled.

  Kay-low sang the chorus and saw Jay-lee smile.

  "I didn't compose it," his beloved said.

  "Then how...?"

  "You did."

  Kay-low gaped at Jay-lee.

  "I... what? I can't compose songs!"

  "You can now. The mind link unblocked your creativity. You're not angry and envious anymore, so your mind is free to come up with new songs. I knew all along you had talent."

  Jay-lee pulled him closer, planting a kiss on his flushed face.

  "But... I... How do you know I did it?" Kay-low asked, feeling his heart beating faster. "I mean, we're two bodies and one mind..."

  "I can still tell where I end and where you start," Jay-lee replied. "And so could you, if you listen carefully."

  "Oh." Puzzled, Kay-low looked inside their minds. Indeed the song had come from him, not Jay-lee. "Do you think Zafar will like it?" he asked with a trembling smile.

  "It's beautiful and he'll love it," Jay-lee answered gravely.

  "But don't tell him I came up with it. Unless he wants to make some changes. In that case, you can tell him it's my mistake."

  "You made no mistakes, Kay-low. It's perfect. Trust me."

  Zafar agreed as soon as he heard the song. Kay-low wrote down the lyrics and Jay-lee started working on the music arrangements.

  That night Kol-ian and Ker-ris showed up for a short visit. They had their own room and usually came and went without disturbing the creative process much. But this time Jay-lee couldn't keep his mouth shut.

  "Kay-low wrote his first song," he announced. "And it's wonderful!"

  "Jay-lee!" Kay-low protested, blushing.

  "I thought you wrote it, as usual," Zafar commented.

  "I told him not to say anything," Kay-low muttered, embarrassed.

  Kol-ian grabbed him and squeezed him. "I knew you could do it, Kay-low," he whispered in his ear. Kay-low felt the flood of love and fatherly pride that came from him and Ker-ris.

  "Shan-leo would like to come for the weekend," Ker-ris said. "Will you let him and his family hear the masterpiece?"

  "It's not done!" Kay-low panicked. "No, no, not yet!"

  "It will be done for the weekend," Zafar said, amused. "We'll be delighted to sing it for you all."

  Kay-low moaned in despair, but Jay-lee hugged him.

  Don't worry, amatan, you'll be just fine...

  King of Music – Zaphadin

  The True Story of the Man Behind the Myth

  He loved to entertain his friends with songs and dance moves. And one day, at a wedding banquet, he met the manager that made him a galactic phenomenon. He can dance, he can sing, he can entertain you like no one else. He's the king of the music business!

  During his fifteen-year career, the star of Zaphadin rose in popularity while the man's morale plummeted into desperation. That's why at the height of his fame, he walked away from it all.

  The man behind the myth reveals his true self for the first time to the whole galaxy in this candid account of his life – with brief summaries by writer Rashaun Khanna, who met him before he became famous.

  DISCLAIMER: This is a mockumentary – a work of fiction. No such persons have walked on this planet at this time (or ever will).

  1. The baby boy

  2. The professor

  3. Running away from home

  4. Dahumada

  5. Rise to fame

  6. Zaphadin

  7. The dream starts to break

  8. Midway into the nightmare

  9. Over the edge

  10. Zaphadin is dead

  1. The Baby Boy

  You might know him as Zaphadin, our galaxy's undisputed king of music – at least among Humanoids – but he wasn't born that way. He can thank his talent and Dahumada's flair for what makes a megastar. Nobody in his birth family ever thought he'd be capable of such an interstellar success.

  Zafar Nagarkar was born on the planet Ypsilanti, where boys don't count for much. He was the youngest of three children and had to learn early on how to deal with his elder sisters. How did he manage to be doted upon by all his female relatives? By being the cutest baby that had ever graced the planet, always smiling and cooing and purring like a fuzzy pet.

  Growing up, the baby boy maintained his happy-go-lucky disposition. He wasn't the brightest child in his class, but he made it a mission to spread happiness and joy around him, by entertaining everyone with songs and dance steps. He loved music from an early age, and could remember a song's refrain after listening to i
t twice.

  His mother humored his passion and allowed him to go to dance classes after school. But she told him that he couldn't make a living out of dancing, and that he should study to find a "real job" when he grew up.

  "Unless you find me a rich wife, Mom," little Zafar replied with a sweet grin that melted his mother's heart. "Then I could dance for her like I do for you."

  Here's the true story told by the darling of the Star Nations, revealing himself for the first time.

  *

  Childhood! That blessed state of innocence when we don't know that an ugly universe is out there waiting for us... My mother had a job that made her travel around the planet a lot, so we moved from town to town for the first thirteen years of my life.

  Our family is originally from Lycoris, where both my sisters were born. This large town is located by a lake and looks very modern. It is known for its fine dining, its winter festival, and one of the secondary spaceports of Ypsilanti. It also has a big university campus and the headquarters of the company my mother worked for.

  Renuka Nagarkar, was a manager for a big company that kept sending her to other towns to set up operations or check how other branches were doing. My father, Shihab Sharma, stayed at home to take care of us three. Despite being a retired teacher, he never home-schooled us. Mother thought we needed to socialize, so she sent us to regular schools. We changed towns every three or four years, so we never managed to have lasting friends.

  I was born in Moriah, a moderate-sized town located near the coast. It has a futuristic look, but no interstellar spaceport. A cultural mecca, it is considered notable for its fancifully paved streets. Also, there are some unusual ruins nearby where we had nice family picnics when my mother wasn't working and the weather was nice. I loved climbing on those big stones, even if the crumbled buildings weren't totally safe. Playing hide-and-seek in those ruins was heaven for little me.

  Jaya still remembers when our parents called her and Shaila into the living room and told her she'd have a little brother. She's six years older than me, Shaila four, so she was jealous when I was born. Jaya was always very loving – I guess she considered me her personal doll – but Shaila... sometimes she was really hard to get along with!