Karim, King of England

by Baz Wade

  “Maybe Special forces, like the SAS or MI6 people freelancing.”

  There was a pause of a minute or two while the implications of what was being said sunk in.

  Richard broke the silence.

  “So, can you tell me the background to the letter I showed you at No. 10?”

  Karim momentarily hesitated while he marshalled his thoughts.

  “Yes – right, the letter. Again, Grandfather didn’t want me to discuss it until after his death. He said it was written by our mother at the ranch in Morocco and he promised her he would deliver it to you.

  His problem was that he thought somehow the letter might incriminate him and that he might be prosecuted for lying to the Police in Italy during the course of their investigations into the car crash.

  Eventually when he thought the dust had settled, he got one of his lawyers to post the letter to you over twenty years after it had been written!

  He said that if I ever met you, I was to apologise for the delay!”

  “It’s okay – I can see things must have got very complicated very early on – at least he kept his word eventually.”

  Richard continued. “When we heard from her bodyguard she’d died in childbirth, I was naturally devastated – I only had Smiffy to turn to – the text also said the baby had died at the same time, that would have been you.”

  “Grandfather told me the bodyguard died in the Middle East a year or so later in some kind of shoot-out with kidnappers. Grandfather said he was an ex Marine who was very loyal and had done a great job – he paid him a regular retainer but never had any doubt that he would keep his story under wraps, with or without a retainer.” Karim continued. “So what was our mother like as a person – have the journalists and commentators missed anything?”

  “She was very loving – a great mum – glamorous but also idealistic, hence the Aids and Landmine campaigns. Also she could be great fun to be with and very funny. But she could be moody and sad, stemming, I think, from an unhappy childhood. Her parents had a very acrimonious divorce when she was very young and it scarred her for life, I reckon.

  The rest, as they say, is history.”

  “Okay Richard, thanks for that – it’s been a long day – I’m going to turn in – certainly we’ve both got a great deal to chew over.”

  “Fine, Karim – goodnight – see you in the morning.”

  All things considered, Richard hadn’t told Karim much he didn’t already know, or half know, but it was still very important to Karim that they’d had the conversation man-to-man.

  He would like to get Richard on the payroll of HMG, maybe as an ambassador of some description. He would speak to Ibrahim.

  The rest of the holiday was relatively uneventful. A couple of paparazzi tried to get some shots of the King of England falling over on the slopes, but were hustled away by minders with nothing to show for their efforts.

  Shortly after his return to London, Karim broached the subject of a role for Richard at one of his weekly meetings with Ibrahim at the Palace.

  “I would like to show Richard I recognise his friendship and loyalty and maybe both can be enhanced if we give him a meaningful role – maybe some kind of roving ambassador would be appropriate.”

  “Yes, that should be manageable – with special responsibility for the Commonwealth, perhaps.”

  “I may also need him to use his clout to secure meetings for myself and David in Israel and the Palestinian territories. It’s obviously going to be very delicate but Richard may be able to arrange some preliminary meetings for us, if he has some kind of official status.”

  “All right, I’ll consult with the Foreign Secretary and we’ll see what can be done. In return I’d like your support, please, on a pet project of mine. An all Asian Guards Regiment.”

  “Sounds fine to me,” said Karim.

  “We have in mind most of the Officers being either Ghurkhas or Sikhs – both have substantial military traditions already, of course.”

  “Will, say, Indians and Pakistanis be able to work together?”

  “Probably – we’ll have to work on that. It will be a British Army Regiment so their allegiance will be to you and not their respective mother countries. Most of them will have been born here anyway so we are hoping sectarianism will be diluted by their being mainly British.”

  “And once we’ve got a new Guards Regiment, how about a new Cavalry Regiment with camels instead of horses?!”

  Karim was only half joking.

  Ibrahim just said:-

  “Maybe in 20 years’ time, but for now one thing at a time, if you don’t mind, sir…”

  18

  “Darling, they’ve offered me what Ibrahim’s calling roving Ambassador status – with special responsibility for the UN and the Commonwealth – what do you think?” Richard asked.

  “How much time will it take up and what will they pay you?”

  Sophia was practical in character – as a result, Richard always consulted her when an important decision had to be made, particularly on financial matters.

  “Ibrahim reckons between four and six months per year and the salary will be £200K plus all expenses. He says it’s about what the PM gets, but less onerous as it’s only part-time!”

  “Okay, then, go for it if you like, we could certainly use the money.”

  “Ibrahim says it was Karim’s idea – Karim wants me on the payroll.”

  “That reminds me, when are we having a return match after Cortina?” asked Sophia.

  “I was thinking of May – the garden should be looking good then.”

  They had both already decided to invite Karim and Kirsty to Highgrove, but the timing needed to be finalised.

  “Fine – I’ll ask Jackie to arrange for the invitations to be sent after checking what dates are available.”

  Jackie was their private secretary. They’d had to cut down on staff drastically since the abdication, but realised they couldn’t live without at least one secretary between them.

  “Agreed – by the way, I’ll accept Ibrahim’s offer…”

  As usual Richard let the phone ring a few times before answering.

  “Richard? It’s Karim here.”

  “Fine, how are you?”

  “Fine, Kirsty’s pregnant, so we’re both very excited.”

  “I read about a few rumours in the Press so congratulations.”

  “Thanks. Have you got a couple of minutes?”

  “Yes, sure, how can I help?”

  “It’s partly about your status as roving Ambassador – by the way, we’re really looking forward to seeing you all at Highgrove – I think the arrangements are nearly finalised.”

  “Yes, I believe so…”

  “As I was saying – your role – keep this to yourself obviously – I am studying the Arab- Israeli conflict and thinking about ways of ending the stalemate…”

  “Go on.”

  “I’ve got a Jewish friend from Uni working on it with me and we seem to be making progress, though people like Ibrahim are very sceptical.”

  “So where do I fit into this?” asked Richard.

  “I would like to discuss informally how you could help when I see you at Highgrove. I need someone to head up fundraising and also probably to make overtures to the movers and shakers on both sides with a view to some kind of conference in, say, Geneva or some other neutral venue.”

  “I see – I would need to do some research obviously before approaching anyone.”

  “Yes, of course – perhaps you could have a think about this and we can discuss it further when we meet. I reckon our mother’s legacy as a humanitarian gives both of us clout in this kind of area and I, with mixed British and Arab parentage, am probably better placed than most to try and mediate.”

  “You – we – can but try – I agree we have a r
esponsibility to honour our mother’s memory and we have the time and resources to give it our best shot,” responded Richard.

  “Thanks, that’s marvellous – see you at Highgrove.”

  Over the next 6 weeks, Richard spent time researching the Arab-Israeli conflict as agreed with Karim. Richard had been advised to go back to the Bible as the primary source – he realised it would be no good going back just to the foundation of the State of Israel in 1948 or the Balfour Declaration of 1917. Richard grappled, in particular, with the concepts of the Promised Land and Zionism.

  “This is a different world for the likes of you and me though I expect my mother would have felt at home here,” said Karim.

  “Yes, it’s the world of the English upper classes, partially exported in the past to Scotland, India and other far flung corners of the Empire – anyway, here we are at Highgrove, who’d have thought it? I for one am quite ready to enjoy myself, even if it means being a part-time Hooray Henrietta for a few days!” ventured Kirsty.

  That evening at dinner, Richard filled them in on what they could expect over the next few days.

  “Firstly, there is a tour of the garden created by my father more than 30 years ago – your guide will be the Head Gardener, Frank James.”

  “Fine, delighted I’m sure,” said Karim.

  “Then we will need to show our faces at the Badminton Horse Trials taking place a few miles away.”

  “Is that horse racing?” asked Karim.

  “Well, they race against the clock.”

  “So, will we be betting?”

  “No, not officially – there won’t be any bookmakers but I suppose you might be able to bet online if you’re desperate.”

  Karim laughed. “No, I’m not desperate. I used to enjoy the racing in Dubai – camels and horses – though a quick way to lose money it has to be said.”

  “Quite so – by the way, have either of you ridden before?”

  “Camels mainly – a horse only a few times” said Karim.

  “About a dozen times” said Kirsty.

  “That’s fine, we’ll get you fixed up with a couple of quiet cobs – I can then take you on a guided tour of the farm.”

  “What’s a cob?” asked Karim.

  “It’s midway between a thoroughbred and a carthorse – solid, dependable, go anywhere – the Land Rover of the horse world,” said Richard.

  “Good, we’ll look forward to that I’m sure – don’t you agree Kirsty?”

  “Yes, I guess so, so long as the horse really is quiet – don’t forget I’m pregnant.”

  “That’s fine, I’ll make sure you get the quietest,” Richard promised.

  The next day saw the King and Queen touring the garden, guided by Mr James.

  The visitors were particularly fascinated by the Islamic Garden and the ornamental hen houses.

  After dinner, when the others had gone to bed and Richard and he were alone, Karim broached the subject of the Middle East question.

  “How did you get on with your research over the last few weeks on Israel and so on?”

  “Fine, yes – however, neither side seems willing to compromise much – I can see that the status of Jerusalem and the Palestinian request for a right of return are two of the main stumbling blocks,” said Richard.

  “Yes, plus Israel’s need for security and the problem of the Israeli settlements on the West Bank,” said Karim.

  “I can help with a charitable fund,” said Richard.

  “I’ve not seen any attempt to compensate those Palestinians who fled their homes during the period 1946 to 1949 and this is part of the problem, I reckon,” said Karim.

  “I daresay many of them are dead,” continued Richard.

  “Okay, but what about their descendants?” said Karim.

  “There would be a problem identifying the right people,” said Richard.

  “Or simply distribute funds on the basis of need rather than identity,” suggested Karim.

  “Yes, fair enough I guess,” Richard continued, “we need to think about where the cash would come from.”

  “The sources of the cash will probably need to be the EU, Arab States, the US and the UN,” said Karim.

  “How much?” asked Richard.

  “Maybe, $50 billion from each grouping, creating a total fund of $200 billion?”

  “We could collect the money by way of cash and/or pledges for cash,” said Richard.

  “Yes, that would be fine – the cash would need to be administered, probably via a UN agency in Switzerland. You would have to be seen as international and neutral,” said Karim.

  The informal conversation continued and took in Karim’s proposals for Jerusalem and who Richard should approach to persuade to attend the conference. Prior to the discussion ending, both parties agreed to keep the other informed about all future developments.

  The next two days were taken up with the parties’ attendance at the Badminton Horse Trials – cross country eventing on the first day and show jumping on the second.

  Karim and Kirsty observed cross country from Richard’s Range Rover, with Richard giving a knowledgeable commentary.

  There was a pavilion provided for the Royal Party to view the next day’s show jumping and, during a break, a stallholder was delighted to sell a Barbour jacket to Karim and a Husky gilet to Kirsty.

  “They’ve both got ‘By Royal Appointment’ labels already, so you are just continuing a long established tradition!” remarked Sophia.

  The next day saw Karim and Kirsty riding two grey cobs out of Richard’s extensive stables. Karim was put on Yeti, a dappled grey gelding, and Kirsty put on a quiet mare, also grey, called Snow Goose aka Goosey.

  “She’s about as excitable as a sack of cement,” was Richard’s pithy comment. This was later put to the test when Yeti became agitated by a barking dog. Goosey remained perfectly calm.

  “I think she may also be slightly deaf,” was the further dry comment from Richard.

  Prior to the party setting off on a tour of the farm, several photos were taken of the riders by a girl groom at Karim’s request, using his phone.

  With Richard’s permission, Karim later emailed the two best shots to Sheikh at The Sun, who printed one the following day under the headline:-

  KIRSTY AND KARIM JOIN THE HORSEY SET!

  Karim knew that, despite his discrepancies, Sheikh was fundamentally loyal and Karim was, therefore, prepared to reward him from time to time.

  The riding tour party, guided by Richard, took in the herds of Jersey cattle, the Jacob sheep, pheasant pens, woodlands, the entirely organic market garden and last but not least, the specially designed private sewage system.

  The following morning Karim and Kirsty departed, after expressing genuine gratitude for Richard and Sophia’s generous hospitality and converting them both into fans of the English rural way of life. “Almost as good as the Scottish equivalent”, as Kirsty sincerely remarked.

  “By the way, David, there’s a peerage in it for you if you get this right! They say the House of Lords is still the best club in London – it’s even better than the SOAS Student Union!” joked Karim.

  “I’ll settle for a knighthood if we can get a deal to stick,” responded David Rosenthal, Karim’s friend from Uni days.

  “Let’s just recap on where we’ve got to, David. We’ve identified the four main areas of conflict.”

  “That’s correct, Karim, the four issues are

  •Israeli settlements on the West Bank

  •The status of Jerusalem

  •Israel’s security concerns re terrorism

  •Right of return for Palestinian refugees living in the Palestinian Diaspora.”

  David continued “We were discussing last time we met, the possibility of a four State solution, that’s firstly Israel, secondly a Vatican
style city State comprising part of the Old City and the Holy sites in Jerusalem. Thirdly the Gaza Strip becoming a self governing province of Egypt and fourthly the West Bank becoming a self governing province of Jordan. A bit like Northern Ireland’s status in the UK.”

  “That’s a good analogy,” commented Karim.

  “It’s building on the existing Peace Treaties between Israel and Egypt in 1979 and between Israel and Jordan in 1994”, continued David. “The precedent for splitting the Palestinian territories is Pakistan, where we’ve ended up with Bangladesh instead of East Pakistan and West Pakistan has dropped West from its name.”

  David then commented further. “These proposals should appeal to the Israelis as it makes it easier for security to be safeguarded, as there would be no dedicated Palestinian Army. However Gaza residents could join the Egyptian military and West Bank residents could join the Jordanian military.”

  “Fine, the head bangers on both sides will oppose all of this, of course,” commented Karim. “But we need to isolate them or buy them out.”

  “Talking of which, that brings us to the right of return for Palestinians and the status of the Israeli settlers on the West Bank. It seems logical to talk about linkage.”

  “I take it that’s reciprocity?” asked Karim. “Between the number of settlers on the West Bank and the number of Palestinians having the right to return?”

  “That’s right,” responded David. “We can go back to the Oslo Peace Accords in 1993 which were implemented in 1995 – for the first time the Palestinian territories of Gaza and the West Bank got a kind of formal status, so Israeli settlers since 1995 were ignoring the Peace Accords and can now expect to pay the price by vacating the West Bank. The Israeli settlers in Gaza had to vacate in 2005.

  Those that are left, say around 200,000 can stay there and that figure, ie 200,000 should be the number of Palestinians allowed to return to Israel.”

  “So we need to work on how it’s decided who gets the right to return,” said Karim.