Karim, King of England

by Baz Wade

  “I’ll deal with that in the draft blueprint, probably some kind of lottery,” said David.

  “Fine, how much longer do you need to prep the blueprint – can you have it ready in ten days?”

  “Give me a fortnight and I’ll have something for you.”

  “Okay, agreed,” said Karim.

  Two weeks later Karim and David met again in Karim’s study in the Buckingham Palace apartment.

  “I’ve got the draft blueprint – the full version is forty pages – I’ve also got a summary.”

  “Okay, let’s see the summary first.”

  Rosenthal’s bullet pointed summary contained the following key points:-

  •The four State solution was as previously discussed and included a Vatican-style city state area for the Holy sites and Old City in Jerusalem, with West Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and East Jerusalem as the capital of the West Bank territory, which was to be substantially Palestinian and would be annexed to Jordan. Gaza would be annexed to Egypt.

  •The Israeli settlers on the West Bank would be reduced to around 200,000, the 1995 figure. Those who are to vacate to be paid around $60,000 per adult out of the $200 billion compensation fund.

  •Reciprocity would involve 200,000 Palestinians having the right of return to Israel to be decided by lottery involving conditional oath of Israeli citizenship prior to being able to participate in such lottery. Unsuccessful lottery participants would also be offered $60,000 compensation per person.

  •Three million was the likely number of Israelis and Palestinians needing compensation, so at $60,000 each, the total compensation payable would be $180 billion, leaving a $20 billion contingency fund to be administered by the UN out of Geneva.

  •If the Palestinians were to say they wanted more than 200,000 returnees, then any extra would need to be balanced by more Israeli settlers on the West Bank.

  “It’s all a compromise – everyone gets something, no-one gets all of what they want,” was Rosenthal’s comment after Karim had been studying the summary of the blueprint for 10 minutes.

  “My main worry is how do we sell this to the likes of Hamas in Gaza, who don’t accept Israel’s right to exist?” asked Karim.

  “It’ll have to be behind the scenes, softly softly – it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to join or re-join the international community, rather than continue as a pariah,” said Rosenthal.

  “I like the land ownership restrictions – that will prevent the Palestinian territories being swallowed up by Egyptian and Jordanian settlers,” said Karim.

  Rosenthal had provided for the ownership of land in Gaza and the West Bank to be restricted to holders of Palestinian authority passports and only one property per citizen. There would be similar restrictions placed on the ownership of land in Israel.

  Andy Sheikh had decided to shelve any thoughts of solving global political problems for the time being.

  His mind was on one thing – he had decided to practice what he preached and take a second wife. His long-suffering first wife, Faizah, had consented to the idea.

  “She’s more interested in food than sex these days and has a figure to match,” he had confided in Harry.

  “So who’s the lucky girl who will be her number two?” asked Harry.

  “Zara, I met her online – she’s a Palestinian and needs a passport – she’s very honest about it – that’s one of the things I like about her, that and her looks.”

  “The perfect symbiotic relationship then – you get the sex, and in return she gets a passport plus a hefty meal ticket.”

  “Don’t knock it – if everyone’s happy, what’s the problem?”

  “No, it’s fine – if you play your cards right Karim will award you an OBE for services to procreation!”

  “I’ll be inviting the whole office to a slap-up wedding reception in a couple of months’ time – I’m kind of hoping people will have got used to the idea by then.”

  “Don’t bank on it – I know Western guys your age often have mistresses but it’s usually fairly discreet – the novelty is someone being totally open about it,” said Harry.

  Two weeks later Sheikh issued invitations to the wedding reception. Cue much ribaldry from the guys in the office and giggling from the girls.

  Everyone was silenced, up to a point, a couple of days later when they were all introduced to the glamorous Zara, who turned out to be intelligent, well educated and charming.

  Importantly, she also seemed to like Sheikh – laughing at his jokes and draping an arm round him at opportune moments.

  Afterwards Harry, for one, was generous with his plaudits.

  “I take back my banter – I think Zara is very nice and you’ve done well. How does she get on with Faizah?”

  “Oh, fine so far – they take great delight in ganging up on me to take the mickey, but I don’t mind, I’ve got what I want and basically everyone’s happy.”

  Three weeks after their discussions at Highgrove, Karim met Richard in Karim’s office at Buckingham Palace.

  “Here is the draft blueprint of David Rosenthal’s and my proposals for a peace settlement. At the front you’ll find a summary, so you don’t need to read all forty pages right now. When you’ve had a look at the summary, may I suggest that the next step is to firm up on your fundraising role?”

  Richard then spent 15 minutes reading the summary.

  “Yes, it seems fine – my knowledge is more limited than yours, but I guess the stumbling blocks will be to get Hamas in Gaza to participate and also to get the Israeli settlers to agree to cities like Jericho and Hebron being permanently part of Jordan.”

  “I know, we will need to work very hard to persuade them all to compromise – that’s where the money will come in useful – any thoughts so far on fundraising?”

  “I am waiting for you to tell me to start. I need to know what I can say in any publicity literature and so on.”

  “Good point – say it’s a humanitarian venture with the distribution of funds being partly dependent on the peace process. If the latter process stalls, then after, say, three years you would use the funds mainly for health and education, particularly for Palestinians. I reckon you will need to instruct lawyers to form the charity – as regards when to start, the sooner the better please. Please bear in mind that once you’ve got funds promised or actual of, say, $15 billion, then we will need to invite the leaders and other interested parties to a conference, probably in Geneva. We can discuss later who precisely should be invited.”

  “That’s fine, I’ll get weaving,” responded Richard.

  With their traditional marriage vows completed, Sheikh and Zara launched themselves full tilt into the “slap-up reception” that Sheikh had promised everyone.

  The venue was Claridges. Everyone had special instructions from Sheikh to be especially nice to Faizah so at least three of The Sun office “drones” swarmed round her at any one time, like she was the queen bee. She had her hands full looking after the three children, but seemed to enjoy the drones’ attention, much to Sheikh’s relief.

  Karim and Kirsty sent an original Cartier silver cigarette box with a note that it was sent for purely aesthetic reasons, not intended to encourage them to smoke. They had been invited to the reception but had declined to attend as Sheikh was now considered too partisan politically.

  The main dish consisted of a fish curry accompanied by various oriental sweetmeats. To wash down the food, the guests had a choice of Pol Roger champagne or various fruit juices for the teetotallers.

  After the food, the guests gravitated to the dance floor, where a live band serenaded them with a selection of mainly 70s and 80s hits. The proceedings were enlivened by the appearance of a belly dancer, who turned out to be Dagenham born and bred, much to the disappointment of some of the guys from Sheikh’s office, who had been expecting someone a lit
tle more exotic.

  When the band finished, the guests were invited to participate in some karaoke and Sheikh nearly brought the house down with a rendition of Sinatra’s “My Way.”

  The happy couple then departed for their honeymoon in Oman.

  “Many congratulations on becoming a dad – I can highly recommend it,” said Richard. “And how is the mum?”

  “Kirsty and the babies are doing fine, thanks, we are very spoilt with two nannies assisting, but we’re still very busy – we didn’t realise twins were on the way till quite recently.”

  “That’s fine, what are their names again?”

  “Suleyman and Jasmine.”

  “Ah yes, Suleyman the Magnificent – I’ve heard of him but what was his claim to fame?”

  “He was an enlightened ruler of the Ottoman Empire in the 16th Century.”

  Around three months after their previous meeting, Karim and Richard had met again in Karim’s office in the Palace to discuss progress on the charity front.

  “How is the fundraising progressing?”

  “I’ve raised $2 billion with pledges from the EU and USA for a further 50 billion within two years.”

  “What about the Arab States?”

  “I’m still working on them – UAE are likely to commit to $20 billion in the near future, probably spread over two or three years.”

  “And what about the UN?”

  “They’re very slow to respond to anything, but I’m ever hopeful. I have to say, if we have a successful conference, the cash should start to flow more quickly.”

  “Yes, I agree – we therefore now need to contact Israeli and Palestinian leaders to invite them to a conference. Can you please take care of that – in your capacity as a UN rep? Say we will present a new draft blueprint for peace which needs to be debated.”

  “Who do you recommend I contact?”

  “Israel now has a Labour Prime Minister – Shimon Levy – they have previously been more likely to make concessions than their right wing parties like Likud. Then the West Bank leader is Ahmed Said – again, he’s reasonably moderate as compared to Hamas in Gaza.”

  “Who’s the leader of Hamas?”

  “Abdel Najib – he’s a bit of a firebrand – make sure you say Ibrahim and I, fellow Muslims, are supporting you in regard to this new initiative. Say also there is a compensatory financial package being put together. If he says compensation for what, say he’d better come to the conference, then he’ll find out!”

  Richard struggled to get himself heard by the three main leaders Karim wanted to invite to the conference. They were all difficult and played hard to get. They also all wanted to know what was in the blueprint.

  Richard confined himself to saying that his interest was humanitarian rather than political and he was just carrying on from where his mother left off. He said the blueprint offered a fair compromise – some would be disappointed – some Palestinians would be offered a right to return and those that were not would get financial compensation. The same would apply to any Israeli settlers required to vacate the West Bank.

  The full text of the blueprint would be released nearer the date of the conference. It would be a draft to be discussed and debated.

  After several phone calls, Levy and Said agreed to attend. Najib said Hamas would send two “observers” – he had no mandate to agree to attend any conference that might involve recognition of Israel.

  Richard reported all the above back to Karim two weeks later.

  “Some time we’ll have to get Ibrahim to speak to Najib. Ibrahim understands how to deal with this kind of impasse – he’s also a devout Muslim so Najib will listen to him,” Karim commented.

  The next three months were taken up with organising the conference, fundraising and finalising the draft peace blueprint.

  When approached on the Hamas issue, Ibrahim declined to speak to Najib prior to the conference.

  “We know where Najib stands, and what his problem is – if the conference is a success, I’ll approach him with a view to persuading him that it’s worth his while to get involved and that he needs to explain to his people Israel is here to stay.”

  19

  The draft blueprint for peace was published by H M Government on 20th October 2019. The blueprint had essentially been written by David Rosenthal with Karim’s assistance and approval.

  The peace conference was due to take place a month later in Geneva.

  Most of the Western media welcomed the blueprint as, in the words of The London Times editorial, “imaginative, realistic and fair.”

  The blueprint was, however, immediately condemned by Israeli settler organisations on the West Bank and Hamas in Gaza. Both said it was biased against them.

  “They can’t both be right,” was Sheikh’s pithy comment.

  While the majority of postings on social media were in favour of the blueprint after so many years of false dawns on a settlement, the extreme positions were in evidence too. While Israelis 4 Palestine, Jewish Voice for Peace and the National Committee of the global Palestinian Boycott, Divestment & Sanctions (BDS) Movement all endorsed it, others persisted with a hard line. A poetic rallying call appeared on Facebook:

  DEFY, DISSENT, DISPUTE!

  Heaving sighs of soul-deep misery

  I felt the weight of truth

  And will not buckle.

  I cannot tolerate this false face of freedom,

  Never bend to this lie of peace.

  Defy, dissent, dispute.

  Defy this artificial truce.

  In defiance of their presence,

  Raise your voices and your flags.

  Bid them gone from this our Palestine, our home!

  Defy this theft of hearth and heart,

  Turn our lives toward this purpose;

  Defy, dissent, dispute.

  Dispute their claim.

  Though written words feign authority,

  They are no more than dust,

  When measured with sovereignty of soul.

  Let no charter of indignity and submission,

  Alter your conviction to the cause of justice.

  Defy, dissent, dispute!

  Defy this occupation.

  Do not give weight to fearful thoughts,

  Or puppets who pedal them in these Palestinian streets.

  Do not be sold a myth of peace and freedom

  To incarcerate your soul.

  Find strength within and continue where many endured before,

  Defy, dissent, dispute!

  Defy their right to remain.

  Their methods are shameful and villainous.

  Do not submit to artifice,

  When deeds belie their words.

  Make a ritual of your defiance,

  In the name of those who died uttering;

  “Defy, dissent, dispute!”

  Defy, dissent, dispute!

  In response, Israeli hardliners vilified the Palestinian leadership, Hamas and the PLO equally, as terrorists who praised suicide bombers and mass murderers as heroes, naming streets, squares and sports stadiums after brutal murderers who target civilians. “They dance in the streets and hand out sweets when Jews are killed. They indoctrinate their children to grow up to become martyrs. Their hate speech against Jews is as disgusting and bigoted as anything from the Third Reich.”

  Israel by contrast with the Palestinian Authority had already tried to provide for its Palestinian population when it installed very expensive infrastructure in Gaza, to build the economy. Within 2 days, it had been trashed and destroyed for good. “The Gazans complain of poverty while their Hamas leaders drive around in Mercedes and Porsches and live in penthouses in Doha, Abu Dhabi and Paris.”

  The peace conference was chaired by the British Foreign Secretary, Ross Clarke.
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  There were a total of 125 delegates plus 2 observers from Hamas. Israel, the West Bank, Jordan and Egypt accounted for around a quarter each of the attendees.

  Various problems were highlighted during the debates at the conference, in particular defining the area of Jerusalem which was to be under the jurisdiction of the neutral City State arrangement.

  It was agreed more work would be needed on defining the boundaries, but the majority of Israeli and West Bank delegates approved the idea in principle.

  Some of the Palestinian delegates questioned why any Israeli settlers on the West Bank should be compensated for vacating the territory, particularly as they would be getting a fair price for the properties they were vacating, on a market value basis.

  The Foreign Secretary offered the following comment:-

  “To get any to vacate it must be either a carrot or stick approach, or a combination of both. We prefer primarily to use incentives as too much stick is likely to lead to substantial bloodshed. Besides, it’s not Palestinian money that’s going to be used to compensate them, it’s other people’s money.”

  Another problem was identified by some of the Egyptian and Jordanian delegates. Why should the ownership of land in Gaza and the West Bank be confined to holders of Palestinian passports, which would be a sub-set of Egyptian and Jordanian passports respectively.

  Again, the Chairman intervened.

  “The land has been in dispute for decades and is not a large area. It’s only right that the refugees in relation to the conflict, ie the Palestinians, should have privileged status in relation to the limited area available. If at a later date the citizens of Gaza and the West Bank vote to extend the ability to own land to other people, that will have to be their democratic decision, and not made by anyone else. However, to allow a free for all now over land ownership would make a mockery of the peace process and the lives the conflict has claimed over so many years.”