by Kim Smart
“Yes, it has. I’m going to hate to leave it in the spring.” It was true. Jesse was loving his time with his sister and this strange world of hers. He also had ties to his usual life at Buffalo Ridge. Part of him needed to be back at the ranch working in familiar territory.
“Oh, where are you going then?” Kerry hadn’t wanted to ask but was glad it came up.
“I’ll be back at Buffalo Ridge helping Dad with the calving. As much as I’ve enjoyed this time with Stella, I won’t leave Dad hanging. Steve is getting busy with his new business and won’t be as available to help.” Jesse told her about Steve’s dude ranch and Chance’s nomadic lifestyle chasing rodeo after rodeo. Somehow he stayed alive and had a good time along the way, but being reliable wasn’t his forte.
“I’m going to be in Vegas the last weekend of February through the first week in March. That’s not too far from you, I think. Any chance we could catch up then?” Kerry just blurted this out. She had no intention of putting any pressure on him but it was true. The veterinarian she volunteered for would be there with some rodeo livestock and invited her along. It’s an area of interest she had and it was a paid gig, so why not?
“That sounds interesting but at this point, it looks like I’m committed. Stella and I have a wager, of sorts, going. We will be tied up the first weekend of the month in Pascal. That puts us on the trail the rest of the month. Hope you have a good time in Vegas.”
“Yeah, I get it. Thought I would just throw it out there. It’s the same time as spring break so I won’t be missing any school and the lab will be closed.” Kerry regretted bringing it up. His excuse was probably legit but she may never know.
“Well, another time, maybe. I would like to see you and catch up. It’s been too long.” He wasn’t sure how that slipped out. Now what did he mean by that? He didn’t know if it was true but suspected it was. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about it. “Hold on boy, you don’t even know if she’s available,” he thought to himself.
“Jesse, I should get going. I’ve got to take care of some things around here tonight and get myself organized for the coming semester. I have lab supplies...” She trailed off, wondering what she was rushing off for, except that they had been on the phone a long time already.
“Kerry, thank you for calling. Would it be okay with you if I called you sometime? I can’t promise it will only be on a Sunday.” They both laughed sweetly. “We don’t have great reception out on the trail and I usually don’t even take my phone with me.”
He felt fantastic talking to Kerry again. There was a lot to digest, but she was still Kerry. Still the girl that sparked longing in him, longing to be close and to plan a future with.
Chapter 12
The next few weeks, while out on the trail, Stella noticed her brother was unusually quiet. She didn’t pry. She offered him a lot of thinking room. Finally she needed to confront what she recognized as unproductive internal dialogue.
“Dude, seriously, what is all this brooding about?” Stella slowed her horse down to let him ride alongside her. She wanted to hear what he had to say.
“Ha. Can’t get anything past you, can I? All this time I thought you only read cattle.” Jesse liked to poke a little fun at her reclusive lifestyle but he knew she was intuitive and read people as well as animals.
“Hey man, I’m a Davies too, you know. Our thoughts can be our worst enemies, especially if left to battle them alone.”
Jesse shared his conversation with Kerry and his deep feeling for her. “Like you said, I’m a Davies but I don’t always feel like one. I see you, Dad, Steve, all happy working your places and your herds…”
Stella interrupted Jesse. She could see the merry-go-round he was on and wanted to bring it to an abrupt stop. Jar him from his doomed thinking. “Don’t you presume you know what’s going on in anyone else’s head!”
Stella described her real reasons for leaving Buffalo Ridge and the ranch. She met Hank, a hot, older cowboy, on the rodeo circuit. “That guy was a real heartbreaker. Looked great in jeans, dirty blond hair a bit longer than a girl’s momma would like. A strong handshake to impress the dads and a sleeping room in a horse trailer lined with buckles he had won.”
As she told it, Hank spotted Stella on the rodeo grounds at the Cheyenne, Wyoming Memorial Day Round-up. Before she knew it, his web of lies and swoon-worthy good looks had her trapped. He shared his big dream of living on the road. Hank wanted to travel from rodeo to rodeo, earning cash prizes and seeing the sites. He sat around the campfire strumming his guitar. He played tunes for the drunken crowd who didn’t mind his lack of musical talent. Stella wanted to see more and Hank treated her like she was a grown woman, not Daddy’s little girl who needed protection.
Hank, being ten years older, was much more experienced in matters of the heart, he said. He thought it would be a bad idea for him to meet the family. Instead, they developed a plan for her to tell her parents she was taking on a job teaching riding lessons to medically challenged kids for two weeks in July. Her parents would praise her for contributing to society. She used the name of a ranch operation they respected but had no business dealings with. She believed the coast was clear. So as not to be too obvious, she had packed only a duffle of clothes and her toiletries. She knew her mom would notice if she started emptying drawers and closets.
This is the first Jesse had heard about Hank and Stella running away from home. This chapter of her life was new to Jesse.
When Stella arrived at the designated meeting place on July first, Hank was not there. He did not show up for three days. She had arrived on the bus, leaving her pickup and horse at Buffalo Ridge. She had enough cash to cover a cheap hotel for a few nights, but couldn’t hang out too long just waiting for him.
When Hank finally showed, he had a litany of excuses. His phone was dead, and he lost the charger. He had car troubles. He found a lost puppy and needed to find its owner. There were other excuses Stella could not now remember. She now found humor in his stupidity.
Hank was apologetic for being late and showered Stella with kisses and attention. For the next ten days they were on a road trip, destination unknown. Stella stayed in touch with her parents by text so they would be none the wiser about her shenanigans. They ate in diners or picked up junk food at truck stops, where they showered, occasionally. Hank pointed out landmarks and told her stories about various areas they passed through. She later learned the stories were all made up. He was a skilled storyteller with a sinister soul.
About a week into the trip, Hank announced that he needed to see a guy in New Mexico so they headed in that direction. They pulled up to a guest ranch in western New Mexico. Stella reached for the door handle and Hank stopped her. Told her he would only be a few minutes and she should wait in the pickup. He crawled into the sleeper part of the horse trailer and pulled out a canvas bag that Stella had not seen before. He carried the bag to a small house just behind the main building of the ranch. Stella liked this place. It was clean and homey and busy. There were colorful flowers planted in old wagon wheels and old watering troughs scattered throughout the yard.
The barnyard dog came to greet her. He sat outside the passenger door of the truck and summoned her to step out. She obliged. It had already been ten minutes and Hank still was not back. She wandered around the yard, visited with several of the trail horses tethered to hitching posts, between passengers she presumed. She wandered to the stable where she chatted with some workers. They were young, like her, and enjoyed working there. This was their summer job, before college started or between their freshman and sophomore years of college. She wandered back to the yard to wait for Hank. He was nowhere to be seen! He had taken off with the truck, trailer, and all her belongings. She checked her phone. There were no messages or missed calls.
“Hey. Girl. Are you here with a party?” A woman, about her mother’s age, called out to her from the doorway marked ‘Saloon’.
Stella approached the woman (Rachel was her name) and t
old her about Hank and asked if she had seen him.
“That no-good, lying, good looking, pain-in-the-a....” Rachel looked at Stella with pitying eyes. “Sorry honey, but that boy took us for a ride and we lost a bunch of money on him. Gary Raush, my husband, just run him off. We didn’t know he had a gal with him. You’re better off, anyway.”
Stella told Jesse how the Raush’s took her in and gave her a job. She never learned what Hank had stiffed them for but it didn’t matter.
“You mean you weren’t in college that year? I was a young then, but I was sure Mom and Dad said you were in college in New Mexico.”
“Again, we are the Davies and appearances are still important. That’s what Mom and Dad told everyone just to save face. I’ve never went to college until two years ago. I took an art class at Pascal community college to support a friend.”
Stella poked holes in his vision of their perfect family. She was right. Image was important to the Davies family and things weren’t always as they seemed. When he decided not to go to college, ever, his parents told everyone he was taking a year off. They said he would go to University the following year.
“I decided then, when Hank left me there, to take a stand for myself and never have to rely on a man again.” Stella described how she stayed at the guest ranch for another year and it was on a horse-buying trip to Arizona that she met her current employers. The way she handled wild horses impressed them. They told her she was what they were looking for, and if she didn’t mind working around a bunch of cowboys, they would like her to join them.
“The pay was good, and I was all business with the boys so it worked out well. I worked my way up in rank and finally landed this gig. I’m happy. And Mom and Dad never knew about Hank. They thought they hired me from the Wyoming job right into New Mexico.”
“Hey, I’m not telling. That’s your business.” More and more Jesse admired his sister and her path to becoming who she was now.
“We started talking about you and your bad mood. How did I end up telling my story?”
Jesse smiled at Stella and rode off after a cow that was looking like she might stray. He needed to digest Stella’s story. His mind raced with what a brave young woman she was and how she became determined to make herself something in a man’s world. Then the inevitable happened - he started to compare himself and put himself down. Once a Davies, always a Davies. His mood did not improve. By nightfall he was too tired and sullen to write. The following morning inspiration hit and he penned some thoughts by lamplight in the tent. It was chilly in the canyon this time of the year. Sunlight broke the morning chill, and the workday started.
They worked through the day mostly in silence. Both were running lines and stanzas through their head. The cowboy poet’s gathering was rapidly approaching. They struggled to write a poem they were both satisfied with.
“Would it be awkward for you if my poem featured you?” Jesse looked at his sister as they were driving to her place at the end of a long week on the trail. She looked as fresh as the day they left home, except her jeans were dusty. Stella confessed that she had wondered the same about him. She saw so much of herself in him and every line that came to her reflected that.
Ultimately, they decided they would do a joint poem for the gathering and it was a success. They worked through the lines together and finished with a masterpiece that neither of them could have accomplished alone. Jesse came to realize that, like Stella, he didn’t fit the Davies mold. Unlike her, he hadn’t found the gumption to break out on his own. That hesitation controlled his life. As the youngest son, Jesse was torn. Others expected him to stay home and help his parents. He wanted to build a life on his terms.
Chapter 13
The Cowboy Poet’s Gathering weekend approached just as calving season at Buffalo Ridge Ranch was starting. Jesse knew he needed to return, if only because he had promised to help. He had learned so much in the few months he was with Stella and he hesitated to leave. She welcomed him to come back any time he wanted. A job would always be there if he needed one. The week after the gathering he would make one more ride with Stella to move cattle.
The lights were blinding when Jesse stepped on that stage. He had never shared his poems with a live audience this big before. He slid the sole of one boot across the stage floor a few times, trying to get his footing. Stella had been on this stage before. It wasn’t the most intimidating thing she had ever done, but it wasn’t completely natural either. She acted like a pro. She introduced the duo, talked a little about their ranch upbringing and their work together over the prior months.
They tag-teamed their poem that meandered through the twisted canyons of the area, drawing parallels from their lives. They drew laughs and breathless moments of tension as the story unfolded. The crowd received their poem with rousing applause. After several more poets and songwriter-singers performed, they joined the crowd in the lobby for a reception. Participant and guests alike complimented them heartily on their debut performance and the solid poetry they presented. Invitations came in to perform at community activities. They were invited to return to future local gatherings and a regional competition.
As the crowd thinned, Jesse saw her - standing off to the side, taking in the experience and looking at him with awe. Beautiful Kerry! Jesse grabbed his sister’s hand to get her attention and excused himself. As he walked over to her, she quickly walked up to him and threw her arms around him.
“Jesse, that was amazing!” Kerry bubbled with excitement. She was thrilled to have seen Jesse in his debut performance.
Jesse couldn’t believe she was there. She explained that after their New Year’s Day call she surfed the net to see what was scheduled in Pascal that would have Jesse and Stella tied up. She had come over after her Vegas trip to surprise him and she was so happy she did. So was he! They had both been so busy that they hadn’t talked as much as they had hoped.
Stella joined them. Jesse made introductions and Kerry swooned over the poem and Stella’s presentation. Kerry had arranged to stay with the family of some friends from school. Jesse and Stella explained that they were leaving in the morning for some trail work. She was welcome to come to Stella’s for the night so she and Jesse could catch up. Kerry quickly called her hosts and let them know she would not be staying with them that night after all.
Excitement pulsed through Jesse. He was high on adrenaline from the performance and his stomach fluttered when he saw Kerry. Her efforts to come to their performance touched him. They grabbed something to eat at Stella’s and sat around chatting. Stella packed the last of the things she could in preparation for the morning. She set the coffeepot to brew at 4 a.m. and bid them a goodnight.
“Kerry, I can’t believe you are here. It’s just surreal.” Jesse finally took Kerry in his arms and brought her close to him. He hadn’t kissed her yet, and he was aching to. His eyes searched her face. Is this what she wants? She smiled, and he brought his lips to hers. Kerry noticed the fullness behind this kiss. The confidence. She allowed her lips to part. She felt his breath on her face and the warmth of his embrace. Home, she thought. I feel at home in this space.
He brought his face away from hers and continued to look into her eyes. That felt good, and he wanted more but he also needed to sleep.
“Do you think there’s any chance Stella would let me go with you?”
“Seriously? Don’t you have to get back to school?”
“This is spring break. I have another week before I have to be back.”
“Tell you what. Be ready at 4 and we’ll see what she has to say. You can take my bed and I’ll sack out on the couch.” After some protestations, Jesse had Kerry settled in his room and he lay on the couch. Restless. Confused. He was attempting to discern whether these were old feelings he was enjoying or something different. Before Jesse could resolve the question, he awakened to the sound of the alarm and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He slid his legs out from under the covers. He was reaching for his jeans on the back
of the sofa when Kerry came out of the bedroom. She was dressed, with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Kerry was ready to take on the world.
She spotted Stella in the kitchen and began pleading her case to go along. Stella looked at Jesse. He was watching Kerry with a smile on his face. She was tenacious. She always had been. It would be good for her to see this country. She may learn something from the unique ranching techniques. He hesitated to influence Stella’s decision. She was the boss. The experience could broaden Kerry’s view of ranching and cattle conditions. Who was he kidding? He wanted to spend more time with her. Feelings overcame him like a flooded valley after a downpour. He sorted and organized the feelings pulsing in many directions throughout his body.
Stella relented and sent Jesse out to prepare another horse. Stella knew, from conversations with Jesse, that Kerry could handle the trail. She was more worried about Jesse handling his emotions. He had grown so much in the last few months and was standing on his own. Stella didn’t want to see him revert back to that lost boy that showed up on her doorstep. He allowed himself to be someone separate and apart from Buffalo Ridge Ranch and his father’s shadow. Even if his journey of becoming took him back there, he would be a different person because of their time together.
Kerry felt like a kid at her first camp-out. She took in the craggy trail with its big boulders, fallen trees, high desert plants, all shadowed but colorful canyon walls. She commented on the similarities between the Badlands, Black Hills and this place. Kerry dramatized a collision of worlds. One was covered in pine trees with slate and limestone spires. The other landscape was like a deep bowl lined with colorful bluffs and tall molded clay shapes of the Badlands. When the worlds collided, they were transported to the desert.
The cattle intrigued her. Their unusual stature was different to what she was accustomed to, and they had a more passive, gentle demeanor. They moved deliberately, slowly, and were not quick to spook. The horses, too, were gentle, not pressured and sure-footed on the boulders and steep canyon walls. They found a calf struggling with a respiratory infection. Kerry was quick to take action and help the calf. She impressed Stella with her care. Stella was experienced in handling these situations. They got the calf stabilized and back on the trail. It had inhaled some noxious plant and developed a secondary bacterial infection.