The Lover

by E. L. Todd

  She rolled her eyes. “Girl, don’t be ridiculous. It’s not like anything ever happened with him. Now I know why…” She pointed her finger into my wrist. “Because he already had his eyes set on you. Kinda romantic.”

  “Well, I’m glad you aren’t mad at me.”

  “Absolutely not. How can I get mad at my best friend for getting laid?”

  I smiled when I realized we were finally okay. “I’m glad you’re on board.”

  “So.” She slapped her hand on the desk. “How is he? Come on, you can answer that, right?”

  My cheeks immediately turned red.

  “That looks like a good sign.”

  “He’s as good as you would expect him to be.”

  “Ooh…that sounds nice.”

  “It is nice.” It was the nicest thing in the world.

  “Is he a slow and gentle lover? Or is he always a sailor on leave?”

  “Both.”

  “Ooh…even better.” A dreamy look appeared in her eyes. “There’s nothing better on this earth than good sex.”

  “Are you getting that from Zach?”

  She flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. “Yep. I didn’t realize the garden growing in my own backyard.”

  “I’m glad things are working out. He’s been after you for a long time.”

  “I know.” She brushed off the compliment like it meant nothing. “I don’t know where it’s going to go, but I’m happy where we are. We agreed to stay friends if it doesn’t work out.”

  “I hope so. Finn is already a wedge between Colton and me. We don’t need another wedge in the group.”

  “Yeah…Colton has expressed his unhappiness.”

  “I’m sure he has.” Colton made his disapproval clear to everyone. “Do you agree with him?”

  “Who?” she asked, playing dumb.

  “Colton.”

  She shrugged then looked at the lingerie piece sitting on the counter. “This is cute. Did you get this for Finn?”

  I knew she was trying to sidestep the question. “That’s a yes, then?”

  She turned back to me and sighed. “Well…kinda.”

  That meant Zach agreed with Colton too.

  “Look, how would you feel if you and Finn got divorced and then I started sleeping with him six months later?”

  “Not the same thing—”

  “It is the same thing. Doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight, it’s still a really awkward betrayal. It would make you sick to your stomach. And if I really did that behind your back, you would question our friendship. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t.”

  I couldn’t deny any of that.

  “I’m sure you guys are great together. You seemed to get along really well the second you met, but that doesn’t make it right. You should just be grateful Colton is only mad at him and not at you.”

  “I feel like I deserve a punishment too.”

  “After what he did to you, he thinks you’re even now.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel better. I want them to be brothers again, to be friends again.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure that’s going to happen.”

  “I have a little more faith than that.”

  “I don’t know. Colton is pretty hurt.”

  Just when my relationship was supposed to bloom, it was overshadowed by this painful rift between the two men. Could Finn ever truly be happy with me if his brother wouldn’t speak to him anymore? Were we doomed from the start?

  4

  Colton

  Pepper walked inside. “Ready for dinner?”

  I’d been dreading this all day. Spending the evening with my brother across the table from me sounded like the most awkward evening ever. At first, I had been excited to spend time with Pepper and Tom, for them to get to know each other better so the three of us could be friends. But then I remembered Finn was part of the package…unfortunately. “I’m hungry. I’ll say that.”

  “So, Stella has been telling me every little detail about her and Zach.” I made a disgusted face. “We share everything, but since Zach is her guy, it’s pretty gross.”

  “And I’ve heard everything about Stella, from the freckle on her right hip to the piercing in her navel. Welcome to the club.” I grabbed my keys and wallet and stuffed them into my pockets. “Ready?”

  “I skipped lunch today, so I’m starving.”

  “Finn isn’t with you?” I’d rather spend the evening pretending he didn’t exist, but I assumed the three of us would walk or drive together.

  “He’s meeting us there. He got called in to work.”

  “If he’s too busy, he doesn’t have to come at all.”

  Her eyes filled with a look of heavy disappointment, like she’d expected my venom to have disappeared by now.

  Not even close.

  “He wants to come,” she said. “He’d like to get to know Tom better.”

  “He’s been to the house many times. Finn never bothered then.”

  “You weren’t as serious at the time.”

  Anytime Finn was mentioned, it always turned into an argument. Neither one of us could talk about him without getting our feathers ruffled. “Let’s go.”

  She sighed under her breath, clearly disappointed we’d gotten off on the wrong foot. “Alright…”

  We left the apartment together and walked down the street. It’d been a warm afternoon, but the cold quickly settled in. Though, thankfully, rain wasn’t in the forecast. “How was work?”

  “Busy, actually. Now that spring is almost here, weddings are around the corner.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yeah, but I’m a lot busier at this time of year. That means I have to work more.” She pouted her lips.

  And that meant less time with Finn. “But that’s more money.”

  “But not enough for the number of hours I put in.”

  “Do you ever think about selling it and doing something else?”

  She considered the question as she walked beside me. “It’s crossed my mind before, but I can’t picture myself doing anything else. The shop is a lot of time and work, but I’d rather do that than anything else…even if I don’t make a ton of money.”

  We arrived at the restaurant and found Tom sitting in the waiting area. His eyes brightened like the rising sun, and he rose to kiss me in greeting. “Hey, babe. Late as always.”

  “Pepper made me late.” I kissed him back, feeling at peace with the world because I could be myself. I felt like the luckiest person alive, to have that kind of freedom. I’d been lying to everyone for so long that it felt overwhelming to be myself, to have Pepper smile and be happy for me.

  Tom turned to Pepper. “You look beautiful.” He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

  “Thank you.” She hugged him back and smiled in a genuine way, like she really liked Tom and wasn’t pretending just for me. “You guys starving? Because I am. Stella visited me on my lunch break, and since she talks so much, I didn’t get to eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I packed.”

  “Should we wait for Finn?” Tom asked.

  I was hoping my brother had been forgotten.

  “He told me we should sit and order some drinks,” Pepper said. “Not wait in the lobby without any alcohol.”

  “Alright.” Tom led the way, and we moved to a table near the window. The restaurant was close to the coast, so we could see the harbor in the distance. Tables around us had garlic bread and marinara sauce, and the walls were decorated with unique paintings of pasta in various dishes.

  Pepper sat across from us, her hair in curls and her teal blouse fitting her frame perfectly. She was a stunning woman. Even though I preferred men, that truth couldn’t be denied. Makeup or no makeup, it didn’t make a difference. I almost couldn’t blame my brother for losing his self-control. “What are you going to order?” She stared at the drink menu. “I know this is an Italian place, but I’m skipping the wine and getting a pomegranate mojito.”

 
“Ooh, that sounds good,” Tom said. “I’ll do the same.”

  When the waiter came over, we ordered our drinks.

  Pepper ordered for Finn. “And my boyfriend will have a scotch.”

  I looked out the window, painfully reminded that I would have to stare at that asshole for a couple of hours.

  Tom put his hand on my thigh under the table.

  Pepper stared at the menu. “I already know what I’m getting. The lasagna. Finn usually makes healthy food, so this is a real treat for me.”

  There was no escaping it. Even when Finn wasn’t here, he was still the center of attention.

  “I’m glad Colton is a good cook,” Tom said. “I’m not talented in the kitchen.”

  “But you have a car, so it’s an even trade,” I responded. “You pick up groceries, and I cook them.”

  “Having a car would be nice,” Pepper said. “But that costs a fortune.”

  “Doesn’t Finn have a car?” Tom asked.

  “Yeah, he does,” Pepper blurted. “But we never leave the house, so we don’t really use it much…” She seemed to realize the error of her words halfway through the sentence, but she finished it anyway because the damage was already done. She looked away and took a big drink of her mojito to wash away the embarrassment.

  The thought of them together grossed me out enough to ruin my appetite.

  Tom kept talking because he was the only one who wasn’t uncomfortable. “How’s Soldier?”

  “He’s great.” Pepper grabbed on to Tom’s question like it was a life raft. “Finn uses him as a workout buddy and guard dog, so I’m the one who gets him toys. I got him this little teddy bear to chew on, and he adores it. Makes him look like a puppy.”

  The only thing I missed about staying with Finn was that dog. He was fun to play with, and I’d always looked forward to seeing him when I walked in the door.

  “Does he sleep with Finn?” Tom asked.

  “Yeah,” Pepper answered. “He curls up into a little ball at the end of the bed. He’s so cute.”

  We kept talking about Soldier, the safest subject we could all discuss, and then Finn approached our table minutes later. He’d changed out of his scrubs into a t-shirt and jeans, and his hair was still slightly damp as if he’d jumped out of the shower in a hurry. But of course, there was nothing my brother could do to look less attractive.

  He greeted Tom first. “Hey, man. How’s it going?” He extended his hand.

  Tom smiled as he took it. “It’s great. Nice to see you.” Unlike me, Tom seemed to actually like my brother. It felt like a betrayal in many ways, but since I couldn’t control his opinions, I let it go. “How was work?”

  “A nightmare,” Finn said honestly. “But it’s rarely not.” His eyes lifted to look into mine, and the charismatic energy died away like a collapsing star. He held my gaze as his lips tightened, like he could see my rage before he even tried to talk to me. “Hey, Colt.”

  I drank from my glass and ignored him.

  Both Tom and Pepper looked at me.

  I didn’t care what their opinion was.

  Finn stared at me for a moment longer before he sat down beside Pepper. “Hey, baby.” He didn’t lean in and kiss her like he probably usually did. His hand moved to her back, and he gave her a gentle rub before he lowered his hand again. “You got me a scotch?”

  “Yes, I know you well.” When her eyes settled on him, there was a distinct light in her gaze, noticeable affection everyone could see. As with any other straight woman, her hormones betrayed her as she stared at this man the entire world found beautiful.

  It was one of the only times I’d been in their presence since I’d found out they were together. Now there were so many cues and hints I couldn’t unsee. She looked at him the way she used to look at me—but with an intensity a million times stronger. There was no doubt that Pepper wasn’t exaggerating when she described her feelings. She was head over heels in love with this man.

  Finn looked at her in a special way too. And instead of letting his eyes wander around the room for other women or signs of danger, he was only interested in the brunette beside him, the woman who was as beautiful on the outside as she was on the inside.

  I hated this so much.

  I hated the fact that they seemed to really care about each other, but I still couldn’t stand it. I’d loved this woman for years, and I’d never imagined us ending up like this, sitting across from each other while my brother was the one she was screwing.

  Of all the men in the world, she had to pick my brother.

  My player, heartbreaker brother.

  Since I wasn’t in the mood for conversation, Tom did all the talking. “We were just talking about Soldier and his new toy.”

  “Oh,” Finn said. “You mean, how Pepper spoils the hell out of him?”

  “I got him one toy,” she said incredulously. “You act like I bought him a collar made out of diamonds.”

  “I’m sure that will be next on the list,” he jabbed.

  “I can’t even afford to buy myself diamonds,” Pepper said. “You think I’m going to buy them for a dog?”

  Finn turned to Tom. “Soldier was supposed to stay on the floor at night. Then he moved to the end of the bed. And now he’s moving to the spot right between us…all because of her.” He nodded in her direction. “So when she’s not there, he still expects to sleep right beside me, and I can’t tell him otherwise.”

  Tom chuckled. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

  “It is when he hasn’t had a bath,” Finn said. “And he snores.”

  Pepper smiled. “It’s so cute.”

  “But when I snore, she kicks me,” Finn said. “And she kicks me hard.”

  “Well, you’re super loud,” Pepper said. “It’s like a plane flying overhead.”

  Finn shrugged and kept drinking.

  Tom laughed, finding Finn charismatic like everyone else.

  The waiter arrived and took our order. Finn ordered another scotch right away, then got the chicken Marsala. The rest of us ordered pasta-based dishes before the waiter walked away.

  I tried not to be too uncomfortable imagining them sleeping together, but it was hard. I’d slept beside Pepper for five years straight. She used to talk in her sleep, even laugh. She was the biggest blanket hog in the world. And she did that annoying thing where she kept snoozing her alarm clock until it went off three times. When I got to sleep in, that habit was the most obnoxious thing in the world.

  But I missed it.

  And knowing Finn got to experience that when he didn’t deserve it felt wrong to me. He’d stabbed me in the back to get what he wanted, and in the end, he would break her heart like everyone else. He didn’t treasure her the way I did, the way she deserved to be treasured. The only reason he was in this relationship was because he didn’t have any other choice. It was the only way they could be together because Pepper wouldn’t be some hit-it-and-quit-it kind of woman.

  I stared into my mojito and swirled the alcohol around, seeing the mint leaves float with the movements. Maybe I needed to get used to evenings like these, but I also knew this wouldn’t last forever. They would never get married and have a family. He was just the last guy to break her heart before she found the man she was really supposed to be with.

  Finn was just a stepping stone.

  Pepper looked at me. “How’s it going at the office?”

  I was so stubborn, I almost didn’t answer just because Finn was there. “Good. I really like it there. A lot more than my old office.” When Pepper had told me what Finn did for me, it was impossible not to be touched by the gesture. Finn had my back even when he never told me about it. But when it came to pussy, that was something he couldn’t have my back for. “It’s a big company, but there’s still plenty of work for everyone. My job is salaried, so it doesn’t matter how many minutes I clock or how many cases I take, which is nice. I’ll be in court next week.”

  “For what?” Finn asked, his fingers around hi
s glass.

  I stared at him, feeling angry all over again. Sitting there with both of them made it seem like I approved of this situation, when I hated it just as much as I always had. I was tempted to throw my drink in his face. “There’s a shipping company here in Seattle that’s violating air pollution regulations. They’re technically exempt because of a clause they were grandfathered under, but since they are way over the limit, something needs to be done. We’ll see how it goes…”

  “Sounds like a big deal,” Finn said. “Nerve-racking.”

  I didn’t appreciate him kissing my ass. “You’ve never cared about my work before, so no need to start now.”

  “Because you worked in real estate law,” Finn said calmly. “That’s boring. This isn’t.” He drank from his glass.

  The table went silent with tension.

  Pepper’s eyes shifted back and forth between us. “This woman came into my shop yesterday and asked for handcuffs and whips and chains. I had to tell her I didn’t run that kind of store.” She blurted it out like she didn’t know what to say, she was just desperate to change the topic.

  But nothing could dispel the discomfort between Finn and me. I was pissed at him, and he was pissed that I was pissed. Both stubborn and aggressive, neither one of us would yield. When I was an ass to him, it was impossible for him to lie there and take it.

  “Did she have a copy of Fifty Shades too?” Tom asked with a laugh.

  “No,” Pepper said. “But she asked if I had a copy for sale.”

  Tom laughed again.

  Finn and I were still caught up in our silent battle while Pepper and Tom carried on. Maybe it made more sense for the two of them to have this dinner together and leave Finn and me out of it. We clearly couldn’t be in the same room together.

  The waiter brought the food, and a rock fell into my stomach. We still had a long way to go until this meal was officially over. There would be more heated looks and catty exchanges. It was hard to believe I’d actually liked my brother at one point. Now he just seemed like an enemy, someone I couldn’t stand.

  I turned to my food and started to eat even though I wasn’t hungry.