The Handyman's Summer

by Nick Poff

  “Oh, who cares about that old hippo,” Josh said dismissively. “I’ll just start the autumn planting a little early. I’m not going to let her get me down. I’ve got better things to do. Tess and I are getting ready for a trip to Indianapolis to go to the state fair. We want to see what other kids around the state are doing. I bet I come back with all sorts of new ideas.”

  “I’m sure you will.” Ed was proud of Josh’s attitude and determination. It was a comfort to know in the age of yuppies whose motto was “greed is good” there were still a few nonconformists such as Josh who aspired to something other than cash-oriented prestige.

  “Oh, and tell your mom I quit the garden club,” Josh said. “I only did it to help her out, and even though I can’t win the contest, at least we got rid of Harriet. That was the main thing, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Ed wished he had been as pragmatic as Josh at his age. “I don’t think any of us expected the outcome we got, but the dragon’s been vanquished and we can get back to our lives.”

  “Yeah,” Josh said with enthusiasm. “I’ve still got lots to do on Cooley Street. Will Rex be there today? I’m hoping he can help me with some stuff.”

  “He’ll be there.”

  “Good! Hey, can I charge some stuff to your account at Ashland’s? I want to get as much done as I can before Tess and I go to the fair.”

  “Go for it,” Ed said, realizing if there was any penance for him in regards to his scheme it would come in the form of a bill from Ashland Nursery. “You make sure you get whatever you want.”

  Norma also took the news with a good deal more calmness than Ed expected. Tuesday afternoon he was in his workshop, busy on yet another wall unit for another Doster Meadows client. The first one had been so admired he had been talked into building another one. He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d end up designing one for every new home between the creek and North Main Street.

  There was a rapping on the workshop door. “Ed? Are you in there? It’s your mother.”

  Geez, she’s knocking instead of barging in? What’s come over Mom lately? “Come in, Mom,” he called.

  “Well, I’ve just come from Garden Club,” she said after she’d inspected his work in progress. “Harriet resigned and all but flew out of Irene Booth’s backyard. After seeing your backyard I can guess what happened.”

  Ed gave her the whole story, including Josh’s own resignation, and wrapped up with, “If Rick had managed to get Rex to quit smoking we probably wouldn’t have caught her.”

  “Well, good for you, or for all of you.” Norma said with approval. “Now maybe someone will throw a bucket of water over her and she’ll be finished once and for all.”

  “Now the Porterfield Posies can get back to business as usual.”

  “They can do it without me,” Norma declared. “I’ll give them my resignation along with Josh’s.”

  “You spent a lot of time on the club over the years, Mom. What are you going to do with all that free time?”

  “I’m not entirely sure,” Norma mused. “Something I really want to do, I know that much.”

  “Like what?” Ed could not even imagine what possibilities might be lurking in Norma’s mind.

  Norma shrugged. “Give me time. You know, Ed, I’ve always done what I was supposed to do, or at least what other people thought I was supposed to do. I think when I started thinking of you and Rick as something to be proud of instead of ashamed of, I began to realize I’d spent too much time in my life listening to other people instead of myself. I think it’s past time I listened to whatever it is Norma Joan Beale Stephens has to say.”

  “That’s great, Mom,” Ed said softly. “I bet she has a hell of a lot of good ideas.”

  Ed went back to his sanding while Norma’s eyes traveled around the workshop. Ed wondered if she were thinking of his father, who’d had a similar workshop and had used many of the same tools Ed now used. “You know, Mom, you’ve been kind of…different lately. What’s come over you?”

  “You make me sound like I’m running a fever,” she said in the tone of voice Ed was used to. “Nothing in particular has come over me. I’ve just done some thinking, that’s all. I’m not getting any younger, you know.”

  “Yeah, none of us are. Still, I’m seeing an unexpected side of my mother these days.”

  “Humph,” Norma snorted. “If there’s one thing I‘ve learned in this life it is to expect the unexpected. Get used to it.”

  “Trust me, Mom, with the way this summer’s gone, I’m getting there. In fact I think I’ll carve ‘expect the unexpected’ into a piece of this wood and hang it some place where I can see it every day.”

  ###

  Ed experienced more of the unexpected that evening. He and Rick were sprawled on the den couch reading when Neal and Rex came in and stood before them. “We want to go to Indiana Beach,” Neal announced, referring to a lakeside amusement park located west of Porterfield.

  “Great. Have fun,” Rick said without looking up.

  “You don’t understand,” Rex said with a grin. “We want you to take us, you know, like a family outing.”

  Ed marked his place in his book. “What on Earth for? You don’t need to be chaperoned.”

  “We want to celebrate,” Rex said firmly.

  “Celebrate what?” Now they had Rick’s attention as well.

  Neal looked at them smugly. “We want to celebrate the fact that I am leaving town for college in two weeks. This will be the last time we can all have fun together.”

  Ed and Rick both dropped their books. They looked at each other, and then at Neal. “What?” They both said.

  “I talked him into it,” Rex said proudly.

  “Well, that figures,” Ed said, rolling his eyes. “He hasn’t listened to a word we’ve said all summer. What gives?”

  Rex sat down, facing them. “We’ve both done a lot of thinking lately. You know, it really sucks that we weren’t friends all through school. We like the same things, and we really like each other, but we couldn’t be friends because we were both afraid. And to make it worse, being so scared turned me into a total dickhead.”

  “We’re mad at society,” Neal stated.

  “So are we,” Rick said. “In fact, we have been for years. What does this have to do with college?”

  “If things are going to change for guys like us, we have to help make it happen,” Rex told them. “You know that Pet Shop Boys song from last year, “Opportunities”? Neal has the cassette and I was listening to it at the Cooley Street house when I realized we’re kind of like the guys in that song, you know, one has the brains and the other has the brawn.”

  “I think I get where this is going,” Rick grinned. “But tell us the rest.”

  Rex looked at Neal and smiled. “He’s the brain, I’m the brawn. We decided he needs to go college to learn all he can. And then when we figure out what to do, he can concentrate on making it happen while I do the grunt work.”

  “Now I’ve got a reason to go,” Neal said with enthusiasm. “I’m not going because it’s something my parents or society thinks I’m supposed to do. I’m going because I want to. I have a purpose. I want to use my education to make life better for gay men.”

  Rick nodded. “I’m very pleased. I’m also very proud. You two will make a hell of a team. Maybe you can pull off the stuff our generation couldn’t seem to finish.”

  “AIDS,” Neal said with disgust. “That’s what brought gay liberation to a halt. We need to get that taken care of so we can move on.”

  “You’re going for a medical degree?” Ed teased.

  “No, but we can light a fire under the ones who are.” Neal and Rex slapped hands and smiled at their mentors, full of youthful confidence.

  Ed stood up and gestured with his arms for hugs. “Well, I am proud and pleased, too. I’m also relieved. This does call for a celebration.”

  “So you’ll take us to Indiana Beach?” Neal asked. “They’ve got ri
des and a roller coaster, and a boat that tours the lake. It wouldn’t be as much fun without you guys.”

  Rick got up to join the hug fest. “When we decided to take chance and let you two monsters into our house, all we could do was hope for the best.” He looked at Ed. “I think that’s exactly what we got.”

  Ed laughed. “You know what, darlin’? This whole summer has been one big roller coaster ride. I don’t know about you, but I think we deserve a ride on a real one for a change.”

  ###

  Ed and Rick had a long discussion behind closed doors that night. The next evening, while Neal was at work, they asked Rex to meet with them in the carriage house workshop. Rex looked apprehensive as they settled on the counter and the workbench. “Am I in trouble?” He asked anxiously.

  Rick chuckled. “No, of course not. We are curious about something, though. That whole brains and brawn thing you described last night has a specific plan for Neal, but left your immediate future a little murky. Have you made any plans?”

  Rex looked at the floor. “Not really,” he mumbled.

  “Well, it seems to me,” Ed said, “that if you intend to be the brawn of the next gay generation, it would be a good idea to pick up some experience with both hard work and uncooperative people. Rick and I have talked about it, and we’re wondering, how you would feel about taking a job with me as kind of a handyman’s apprentice.”

  Rex’s eyes widened. “Really?”

  “Sure. Why not? You’ve done great work at Cooley Street. You’ve got the basics; you just need to pick up a little more knowledge and some time around my more eccentric clients. Once we get out from under the Cooley Street house you can work with me every day. The goal would be for you to cover for me completely when I get bogged down with Porterfield Days crap next year. What do you think?”

  “Yeah,” Rex breathed. “I mean, yes. I was hoping…well, yes I’d like to try it.”

  “What were you hoping?” Rick asked.

  Rex looked embarrassed. “Well…I was kinda hoping you guys weren’t in any big hurry to get rid of me. “

  “We’re not,” Rick assured him. “In fact, if this works out, you would be the solution to something we’ve been arguing about all summer.”

  “I wouldn’t be able to pay you a huge salary at first,” Ed warned him. “However, you can stay here rent free. You’re part of the family now, so no matter what happens or what you’re thinking in regards to your family, you always have a home with us.”

  “Thanks,” Rex whispered, hanging his head again. “I don’t know what to do about my family. Right now I just feel guilty. Is that weird?”

  Ed and Rick looked at each other. “No, I don’t think it’s weird,” Rick said slowly. “It’s kind of understandable. I mean, no matter what kind of relationship you have with any of them, they’re blood kin, and we’re taught to take that seriously. Unfortunately, we’re also taught that homosexuality is wrong, so I’m guessing you feel like you’ve let them down, right?”

  “Yeah,” Rex sighed. “I guess that’s it.”

  Ed hopped off the workbench and pulled himself onto the counter next to Rex. “It’s tough,” he said, patting his shoulder.

  “I think,” Rick said, adjusting his own position on the counter, “that coming out comes with a certain amount of ambivalence. So if you’re feeling mixed up about stuff, don’t let it get to you too much. You know you’re safe here; you have a home and a job. The other pieces will fall into place eventually. And remember,” Rick said, looking Rex in the eye, “if the mess in your head ever gets to be too much, you come to us, or Paul or Pastor Phil, and we’ll do our best to help. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Rex said, sitting up a bit straighter.

  “Good,” Ed said, “Cause we’ve got another idea we want to throw at you. It doesn’t seem quite fair that Neal will get to be on his own in the dorm while you’re stuck sharing digs with us. So, we’ve been thinking; how would you like to make a project out of cleaning up the apartment upstairs here, and eventually moving in? That way you’d have your own place without the feeling that we’re watching your every move.”

  “Cool!” Rex sat up even straighter.

  “That’s not much of anything in the way of furniture up there,” Rick told him. “But if you scour the second hand stores you can find all sorts of good stuff. If you find things you like at the right price, we’ll go in on them with you.”

  Rex jumped off the counter. “Can we go upstairs and look at it?”

  Rick looked at Ed, rubbing his chin. “I think that’s a yes.”

  “It sure is!”

  “Okay,” Ed said, pulling the apartment keys from his pocket. “Let’s do this thing!”

  ###

  They had planned their day trip for Friday, a day that turned out to be hot and sunny with no rain forecasted. All four of them, dressed in shorts, t shirts, and sneakers, crowded into the Camaro, which Ed pointed west toward Monticello, the home of Indiana Beach on Lake Shafer. None of them had ever been there, but it had been advertised extensively on television of late, so they hoped it was everything the animated crow on TV promised.

  After the car was parked and admissions paid, they strolled across the suspension bridge to the south edge of the midway. “You know,” Rick remarked, “this is light years away from Cedar Point, which is actually really nice. It’s more relaxed, and you don’t feel as though you’re on the run all day.”

  “I think you’re right,” Ed said, taking in the limited but interesting attractions along the lake. In the distance he could see The Shafer Queen paddle wheeler making its way across the water. “I vote we hit that boat when we’re ready to get out of the sun.”

  They rode the Galaxi coaster, and then all four of them crammed into one seat on the Twister, which seemed to have the opposite effect of what they had hoped; it balanced their car so well it didn’t spin much. Neal was all for another ride, but Rick begged off. “My middle-aged stomach can only take so much,” he said as they exited the ride.

  “Poor Rick,” Ed said with sympathy. He was unwilling to admit his relief at the mildness of the ride, and even more unwilling to confess that his own body didn’t handle intense spinning as it once had. “Why don’t we walk down to the Scrambler,” Ed suggested. “That’s more Rick’s speed. Mine, too, really.”

  Ed and Rex took off in that direction not realizing that Rick and Neal had stopped while Rick retied his shoe. As such, they joined the Scrambler’s waiting line unaware that Rick and Neal were not right behind them. When they finally showed up, Rick assured them it was okay. “Gives me more time for my stomach to settle,” he said with a grin.

  Ed had never seen a Scrambler quite like this one. Most of the ride was on land, but one quadrant jutted out over the water. As such, it took a while for the operator to adjust the ride so all the seats could be filled, The idea of riding a Scrambler over water was so unique Ed wasn’t about to complain. He rocked back and forth to T’Pau’s “Heart and Soul” playing on the park’s loudspeaker in anticipation.

  Ed and Rex finally walked to the car assigned to them. They were pulling the safety bar shut when they realized the operator had cut the line right before Rick and Neal.

  “That figures,” said Rex.

  “Eeh, no big deal,” Ed said. “When they’re riding we can stand by the fence and make faces at them. I just wish we’d brought Rick’s camera.”

  The ride jerked into motion. Ed and Rex’s car approached one containing a similar couple, two men who appeared to be the approximate ages of Ed and Rex. The younger one gaped at Rex as the cars passed, and the older one winked at Ed, who began to laugh.

  “Did you see that?” Rex hissed.

  “I sure did.” Ed nudged him. “Here they come again.”

  As the ride picked up speed the two cars passed again. This time Rex and the younger one openly stared at each other while the older man rolled his eyes and shook his head at Ed, who did the same.

  “Little bro,” Ed
said to Rex as the g-forces slammed Rex into his side, “I think you’re about to top my Sky Diver story.” He had told Rex about the time a ride operator for the Sky Diver at Porterfield Days had given him his first blow job at the age of sixteen. “Make every pass we have with them count!”

  The ride continued with the two young men now openly flirting with each other. Ed forgot about the novelty of spinning over water as he watched their mating dance. He was hoping it wouldn’t turn out to be a bust for Rex.

  When the Scrambler came to a stop, Ed and Rex were over water and unable to exit while the other two men left the ride. “Shit!” Rex muttered.

  “No, don’t give up yet,” Ed counseled. “They’re taking their sweet time. I don’t think this is over.”

  They waved at Rick and Neal as they and several other riders climbed aboard. Once they were safely seated, the operator went to the controls and shifted the ride so the arm with Ed and Rex’s car was back over land.

  “Be cool,” Ed whispered. “Don’t jump out of here like the damn thing is on fire.”

  Ed undid the latch, hopped out, and moseyed toward the exit with Rex on his heels. Once they were outside of the fence, they spotted the other pair nearby, who were waiting for them.

  The older man – deeply tanned, balding and not bad looking – held out a hand to Ed. “Tom Page,” he introduced himself. “And this is my nephew, Aidan.”

  “Ed Stephens.” Ed gave Tom a hearty handshake. “This is my honorary little brother, Rex.” He glanced back at the ride where Neal and Rick were now parked over water. “That’s my husband, Rick, and our other little brother. Good to meet you both.”

  “It’s always good to run into family at a place like this.” Tom grinned.

  “Actually it’s a relief,” Ed said. “This way we don’t stick out quite so much.”

  Tom and Ed laughed and chatted while Rex and Aidan – shorter than Rex with brown hair and eyes and also not at all bad looking – whispered to each other.