The Handyman's Summer

by Nick Poff

  “Ed,” Rex turned pleading eyes to him. “Aidan asked me to go on Rocky’s Rapids with him. Is it okay if...?”

  “Go,” Ed waved him away. “Have fun. Just be back at the bridge by four. That’s when we planned to leave.”

  Rex and Aidan took off. Tom turned to follow them. “I’ll try to keep an eye on them,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Thanks,” Ed responded with a chuckle of his own. He went and sat on a nearby bench, somewhat bemused by what had taken place.

  “What the hell was that all about?” Rick demanded as he and Neal met Ed at the bench.

  Ed clasped his hands to his chest. “One of our little boys is having his first date,” he said, eyes wide.

  “Yeah?” Neal flopped on the bench next to Ed, looking disgusted. “How come I wasn’t on that ride with you?”

  Rick’s eyebrows rose. “Well, call me chopped liver,” he said, pretending to be offended.

  “You know what I mean,” Neal sighed. “Not that anything would have happened if it were me.”

  “Oh Neal,” Rick groaned. “Don’t put yourself down. Look, Rex got lucky. It’s just one of those things. Don’t use it as an excuse to beat yourself up.”

  “Now, listen to me, young man,” Ed said in a tone that got Neal’s attention. “You can sit here and play Rhoda Morgenstern all you want, but when you see Rex again you’re going to be very happy for him. Get it?”

  Neal nodded slowly.

  “I know you don’t seem to believe us, but in a couple of weeks you’re going to be off on a great adventure. You’ll be making friends, meeting guys, and partying so much your first semester grades will probably be shit. And what will Rex be doing every night? Probably sitting at home, watching TV with us two old farts. This just happens to be a chance for a little excitement of his own before he’s stuck back in Porterfield. Don’t ruin it for him.”

  “You’re right,” Neal said, looking contrite. “I’m being a real shit. I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry enough to buy me a beverage?”

  Neal frowned. “I guess so. What do you want?”

  “Trot on over to that food stand and see if they sell refreshing Pepsi Cola.” Ed grinned and slapped Neal’s back so he would know Ed wasn’t angry.

  “Make it two,” Rick added.

  “Hope I got enough money for three,” Neal grumbled as he walked away.

  “That was some lecture, baby,” Rick said softly. “Mind if I ask a follow-up question?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Were you really thinking about Rex, or were you channeling another young man who didn’t leave his hometown after high school?”

  Ed looked at the ground feeling sheepish. “You know me too well.”

  “Yeah, and you know me.”

  “We’d clean up on ‘The Newlywed Game’.”

  “After six years together I don’t think we qualify,” Rick said with a chuckle. “But that’s okay. I can’t help but think that knowing each other’s weaknesses only makes us stronger.”

  “How ‘bout that?” Ed smiled as he spotted Neal carefully walking toward them as he balanced three tall cups. “I think I like this place,” Ed said.

  “Yeah?” Rick rubbed his stomach. “Well, as long as I don’t have to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl and that damned Twister again, I’m with you.”

  ###

  Tired, feet sore, and sunburnt, Ed, Rick, Neal, and Rex piled back into the Camaro late that afternoon. They all agreed Indiana Beach was an okay place, and hoped to visit again sometime.

  “Maybe after my freshman year,” Neal said, rubbing a foot.

  “Yeah, I’ll have my own place by then,” Rex said smugly.

  “And probably a boyfriend,” Neal teased. “C’mon, tell! Did you get his number? Are you gonna see him again?”

  Glancing in the rearview Ed could see Rex was red-faced, either from sunburn or embarrassment. “Yeah, I got it.”

  “Tom and Ed and I had quite a conversation when we all met up on the Shafer Queen,” Rick said, turning around in the front seat to smirk at Rex. “You know, they live in South Bend. That’s not a terrible drive from Porterfield.”

  “They were both really nice guys,” Ed put in. “It was a bonus for the day, getting acquainted with them.”

  “I think Aidan’s cute,” Neal said with relish. “C’mon, Rex, you gotta see him again.”

  “Yeah,” Ed teased from the driver’s seat. “You gonna ask Aidan to break in your bachelor pad with you?”

  Rex, looking unusually self-confident, put his hands behind his head and grinned. “When and if I decide to do anything,” he said, glancing at Neal. “I promise you’ll be the first to know.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Sunday afternoon was still and overcast; the kind of day that promised little and gave even less. Ed found himself alone in the house for what seemed to be the first time in ages. Neal was at work. Rick and Rex had taken the truck and were off to Fort Wayne to cruise the second-hand furniture stores. Ed could have gone with them but begged off saying he wanted some rest before the upcoming busy week. In truth, he wanted some time to himself to just sit and think and try to process everything that had happened in the past few months.

  He settled into his favorite thinking spot, midway on the parlor sofa in a position that allowed him to stare through the window at nothing in particular. Arnie and Jett, approving of his quietude, settled near him for their midday naps.

  Ed realized an afternoon of thoughtful meditation wouldn’t do much for the ambivalence he felt regarding a good deal of what had gone down this summer. He was, however, pleased to acknowledge the gamble that had been Rex Kennedy was paying off very well indeed.

  He had encountered Rex in the kitchen the day before. Rex had been absentmindedly washing dishes while he gazed out the window. Ed smiled at the moony expression on his face. “Ah, I can see the picture in his mind,” he teased. “He sits in a hollowed out plastic log on Rocky’s Rapids, his arms tightly grasping the waist of a handsome brown-eyed boy. They approach the chute, anticipating the soaking to come as…”

  “Knock it off,” Rex said mildly, flicking soap suds at him.

  “Seriously. Aidan seemed like a genuinely nice kid,” Ed said, helping himself to a banana from the bunch ripening on the counter.

  “Yeah, he is,” Rex said, but he didn’t seem happy about it.

  “You gonna call him?”

  Rex shrugged.

  Ed peeled his banana. “Why not?”

  Rex clattered a plate into the drainer. “Yesterday was great, but what happens next? Did you hear Aidan is an honor student at his school in South Bend? He’s in all sorts of smart kid classes for his senior year. What can a guy like that see in an ugly, stupid bully like me?”

  “I see,” Ed said. He took a bite of banana before he continued. “Do you think you’re still a bully?”

  “Maybe not,” Rex said reluctantly. “But I’m still ugly and stupid.”

  “Well, you’re not ugly, but I can understand why you see yourself that way. You acted pretty ugly for a long time. Here’s the thing: you weren’t being mean out of any real malice; you were just hurt and scared. Cut yourself some slack. You’re doing your best to make up for it and build a new and better Rex. Shoot, considering how resentful you had every right to be when we took you in, you could have stolen the silver and blown town or burned down the house.”

  Rex grinned at the sink. “Don’t give me any ideas,” he mumbled.

  “That’s more like it.” Ed flicked the banana skin at Rex’s ear. “The ugly will go away in time. Do you honestly think Rick and I would be investing so heavily in you if you were as ugly as you think you are?”

  “You’re just sorry for me.”

  “Oh, yeah? If that were the case, you would have been out on your ass the moment you were healed from that beating. No, we saw the nice guy inside aching to get out prove how cool he was. Give it time,” Ed pleaded. “If we see it, you’ll see it someday. I promise.


  “And by the way,” he added sternly, “we fully expect repayment someday, too. Not in cash, but in a promise from you that when it’s your turn to help a young gay man in trouble you’ll be there.”

  Rex nodded. “That’s a promise I can keep. I’ll never forget how you guys saved me from…well, from a pretty black future. I don’t want to think about it.”

  “So don’t.” Ed munched away on his banana while Rex finished the dishes, frowning in thought.

  “About Aidan,” Rex said suddenly. “How can I expect a guy like that to like me? I’m just a small town clod. What do I have to offer?”

  “Geez, who put the ‘Kick Me Hard’ sign on your back today?” Ed rolled his eyes. “From one small town clod to another, I’m pretty sure you and Aidan have more in common than you realize. I remember when Rick and I first got together. I was afraid I’d come off sounding dumb. He was a big city guy, and I didn’t know jack shit. Rick seemed to know so much more than I did, so I asked him why he was so smart and he said it wasn’t that he was smart, he just read a lot. My mind had pretty much petrified since high school, so I started reading again, usually stuff he or Mrs. Penfield recommended.” Ed shrugged. “I don’t feel dumb anymore. You don’t have to sit in a classroom to learn, you know.”

  You’re not dumb,” Rex said in admiration. “You and Rick are two of the smartest, handsomest guys I’ve ever seen.”

  Ed laughed. “Sometime I’ll have to work up the nerve to show you pictures of us as teenagers. We were both late bloomers, to say the least. I don’t want to sound like an Oprah Winfrey guest here, but sometimes the handsome on the outside comes from the confidence inside. You’ll get there.

  “In fact,” Ed said as he handed Rex a dish towel. “You could not have landed in a better place to pick up information about the world and how people operate than Penfield Manor. Thanks to the Penfields and Rick this place is packed with books. C’mon.”

  Ed led Rex out of the kitchen and upstairs. “But I’m not…,” Rex protested.

  “You will be. Get your ass in the study.”

  Ed waved his hand at the bookcases. “Neal may be going to IU without you, but there’s no reason you can’t do some independent study.” His eyes scanned the shelves. “Aha!” He pulled out Rick’s dog-eared copy of The Front Runner by Patricia Nell Warren. “You will love this. Try reading some of it before you go to bed tonight. It’s a great start for smacking some of the stupid out of you and getting a better understanding of the world you’re entering. Okay?”

  Rex looked at the cover with interest. “Okay. I’ll try it.”

  “Who knows?” Ed said smugly. “Maybe Aidan hasn’t read it. You can look all kinds of smart for recommending it.”

  Ed tossed Rex a bookmark from the jar on a table by the window. Rick went apeshit when anyone folded a page corner to mark their place. “By the way,” he teased, “did you get a chance to kiss Aidan yesterday?”

  Rex smiled and mumbled “yeah.”

  “How was it?”

  “Wow!” Rex shook his head in disbelief. “Kissing another guy is just…wow!”

  Ed nodded. “You know what’s really cool about being a fag? Since so many people think it’s gross, kissing a guy never gets boring.”

  Now, on this Sunday afternoon as he watched two squirrels race around the trunk of one of the oak trees through the parlor window, Ed smiled, remembering the light that had come to Rex’s face when he thought about kissing Aidan. There had been, he thought, a humility mixed with his enthusiasm that was genuine and very attractive. He was pretty sure the investment he and Rick were making in Rex would be paying dividends for a long time.

  He was about to get up and stretch when the back door slammed and Rick bounced in, looking pleased. “We actually found a couple of things that were perfect for the apartment at decent prices,” he said after he kissed Ed, who giggled.

  “What’s so funny?” Rick wanted to know.

  Thinking of what he had told Rex the day before, Ed said, “Kissing you never gets boring.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Rick’s eyebrows rose. He put his arms around Ed and kissed him so passionately yet tenderly that Ed almost went weak in the knees. “Boy, you’re good at that,” Ed whispered.

  “So are you,” Rick said softly, “and I’ll expect you to prove it later. Right now, though, one our kids is excited to show you what we bought. Wanna come see?”

  “Sure.” Ed took Rick’s hand in a firm clasp. “I want to see how our little project’s paying off.”

  ###

  Muriel called early the next morning. “I am,” she announced, “taking you to lunch today.”

  “Oh? You driving?”

  “Watch it, buster, or I’ll change my mind.”

  “Okay,” Ed said peaceably. “I’m driving. Where are we going?”

  “The Wood Haven. I am craving a slice of sugar cream pie, and they have the best sugar cream pie in the world.”

  “True.”

  “You may pick me up at eleven-thirty.”

  “You got it, princess.”

  The Wood Haven was a family restaurant located just north of the highway bridge. It contained a warren of cozy dining areas, one big dining area for parties, and the best home-style cooking in the county.

  “So what’s the occasion?” Ed asked as they walked into the air conditioned dimness of the reception area.

  “Well, I thought I should properly say ‘thank you’ for encouraging me to use that letter in my column. You’ve seen what a success it was.”

  Muriel’s flip and equally serious responses to “Cooking For None” had been well received by Courier subscribers. Letters poured in from other frustrated mothers, enough for Muriel to hold forth for two more columns. Then she stirred up more trouble when she printed a letter from a husband complaining about his wife’s lackluster housework. “It is a shame, sir, that you do not live in Stepford,” Muriel had responded in print, which brought in even more letters from equally aggravated husbands and wives. “I seem to have begun a new skirmish in the battle of the sexes,” she giggled evilly. “The Stratton County divorce lawyers should be paying me kickbacks.”

  Ed shook his head as the hostess approached them. “You’re an incredibly insensitive woman, Miss Weisberg.”

  “Someone’s got to be,” she responded, following Ed and the hostess.

  The hostess led them to a small room with windows overlooking the parking lot and a cluster of tables for four. Ed looked over her head and gasped. There sat his mother, nose to nose with Clyde Croasdale, apparently enjoying a relaxing, and in Ed’s eyes, intimate lunch.

  “I’m sorry,” he said to the hostess. “This won’t do. We’d prefer to have a booth, please.”

  The hostess rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said as she led them to an interior room lined with booths.

  “What was that all about?” Muriel demanded after the hostess had dropped menus on the table and walked away.

  “So that’s what Norma Joan Beale Stephens has to say! Well, I never,” Ed griped, sounding exactly like his mother. “Didn’t you see?”

  “Remember who you’re talking to, Brainiac,” Muriel snapped. “See what?”

  “My mom having a cozy little lunch with Clyde Croasdale,” Ed huffed. “Can you believe it?”

  Muriel picked up her menu, seemingly unperturbed by this news. “Well, yes, I can, actually. Clyde’s a very kind, handsome man. He’s also a widower. You make it sound like some tawdry back street affair.”

  “You don’t understand,” Ed said, and proceeded to explain.

  Norma and Clyde had grown up on neighboring farms. Norma had once admitted to having a bit of crush on the older boy from the next farm over. When Clyde lost his wife and moved from her hometown of Milwaukee back to Porterfield to live with his sister, he had taken an interest of sorts in the widow Stephens. Norma had relentlessly told Ed and his sister Laurie that there was nothing, absolutely nothing going on between her and Clyde Croasdale, and they
needed to get their minds out of the gutter.

  Clyde and Norma’s occasional outings had ceased when Claudine, Clyde’s sister, had become bed-ridden, leading to her eventual death. Now, fresh from his month of grieving in Milwaukee, Clyde seemed to be taking up where he’d left off a year earlier.

  “I still don’t see the issue,” Muriel said, squinting at her menu.

  “There’s nothing wrong with it,” Ed said, deciding on the tuna melt and fries. “She’s just so sneaky about it.”

  Muriel snorted. “If I had to deal with your comments I’d be sneaky, too.”

  She was probably right, Ed admitted to himself. He was overreacting, but it seemed especially startling after his recent conversation with Norma. “I’ll call Laurie tonight,” he said.

  “Yeah. You do that. Just don’t write a letter to ‘Ask Muriel’ because I’ll print it and use your real name.”

  Once the waitress had taken their orders, Muriel changed the topic, obviously in no mood for more family drama. “So what’s up with B.M. Tarpley these days? Any idea who it is?”

  “Nope.”

  “I thought you and Rick were all hot to track down the mysterious benefactor, or benefactress, for all we know.”

  Ed shrugged. “We were. We’re still curious, but we’ve been kind of distracted lately.”

  Muriel thoughtfully sipped her iced tea. “Do you want me to find out who it is?”

  “Huh?” Ed was startled.

  “There are tons of research options at The Courier,” she told him. “I’ve got Rupert wrapped around my little finger these days, so he lets me do pretty much whatever I want. I’m sure I could crack the code of that dummy corporation.”

  “How ‘bout that.”

  “I was going to offer to do it weeks ago, but I was under the impression you wanted to do your own investigation.”

  The waitress put down their plates. Ed reached for the catsup. “You’re right,” he said thoughtfully. “We hoped we could figure it out.” He thought about Daniel’s journal and how they had abandoned it before Doug’s visit. He didn’t want to get into any of that with Muriel so he just repeated his line about being distracted.