Just a Crush

by Tabatha Kiss

  “Like what?” he asks, shifting slightly.

  “Just a little girl talk.”

  “Like what?”

  Mom steps forward and kisses his cheek. “I’ll see you later, honey. Very busy.” She wanders off, obviously very proud of the worry on Hayden’s face.

  Once she’s gone, he glares at me and lightly punches my arm.

  “Ow,” I say.

  “Mom has a backstage pass?!” he asks.

  “She feeds us,” I say with a shrug.

  “What’s a man gotta do to be valuable around here?”

  I roll my eyes and reach into my back pocket. “Here,” I say, offering him a few free drink vouchers. “Go cheer us on. That’s a good start.”

  Hayden happily snatches them up with a smile. “I should go find Penelope anyway. She has a history of kissing random dudes in bars.”

  I laugh. “Take care. Enjoy the show, man.”

  “Break a leg, baby brother.” Hayden nudges Marla’s shoulder. “Good to see you, Marla.”

  “You too, Hayden,” she says with a kind smile.

  He sneaks a glance back at me as he passes by her and nods his head with brotherly approval. His advice echoes in my head, telling me not to over-think what Marla and I have. We both care about each other. That’s all we need to take the next step, right?

  I look at her now, standing beneath the bright lights on an empty stage, and I wonder why I even second guessed it at all.

  “Hey,” she says, her gaze locked on me.

  I almost reply. But it’s not enough.

  Just fucking kiss her, man.

  I step closer to her, willing to act on every impulse I have. One whole day without her. Thirty-six hours without the chance to see that half-smile or take in those big, beautiful eyes.

  I reach for her but fast movement brings me to a quick stop.

  Addison and Katrina rush out from the dressing rooms in the back to finish their own setups. Addison sets her guitar down on its stand while Katrina rounds her keyboard and turns it on.

  Marla’s eyes instantly grow wide with excitement, the last remaining members of her favorite band suddenly live and in the flesh in front of her.

  I lay a hand on Marla’s back and nudge her forward with me. “Guys,” I say, getting Katrina and Addison’s attention. “This is Marla. We’ve been working together.”

  Addison glances at Katrina with the slightest sense of awe in her eyes. Obviously, Marla isn’t at all what they expected her to be, though I’ve come to expect that to always be the case when it comes to my muse.

  Katrina steps forward first. “We’ve heard a lot about you,” she says to Marla. “I’m Katrina.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Marla says, her voice shaking. “Katrina Benton — and you’re Addison Abbey.”

  Addison smirks. “Charmed.”

  Marla twitches, her excitement becoming too much. “I just wanted to say how awesome I think you two are,” she says. “The piano duels you do with your brother could be an album all on their own, Katrina. And Addison, I have probably listened to your solo riff on Pure Blue maybe a thousand times — and it still gives me chills. You two are just…” She inhales quickly, out of breath. “Awesome.”

  Addison hums with approval. “Okay, she’s cool,” she says.

  Katrina nods in agreement as the two of them turn and rush back to finish their setups.

  Marla spins around and grins from ear-to-ear. “They called me cool,” she says.

  I nod. “I heard.”

  “I think that’s the first time that’s ever happened to me.”

  “That’s not true,” I say. “I’ve called you cool plenty of times.”

  She laughs with a bit of shock still lingering on her face.

  “Ten minutes!” Jordan calls out from… somewhere.

  Marla smiles at me. “Anyway…” she steps back, “I should go find my seat and let you finish up. Just wanted to say hi to you before the show.”

  I shake my head. “No, you’re not going anywhere.”

  She blinks. “I’m not?”

  “You’re backstage, Marla,” I say, smiling. “You don’t have to watch it from out there.”

  “I don’t?”

  I take her hand and lead her off the stage. She follows eagerly, holding tightly to my hand as we disappear deep into the shadowed wings.

  As soon as I know we’re lost to the world, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her against me. “Here,” I whisper beneath the constant hum of voices and music. “I want you right here.”

  She looks up, drawn toward my voice. Her lips graze my chin and I shudder, holding back the urge to pin her to the wall and do as I please right here and now.

  “It’s a good view,” she says, glancing toward the open stage behind us.

  “It’s the best view.” I plant a kiss on her cheek. “Only the best for you.”

  Marla smiles. “If this is where you want me, then I’ll be here.”

  I pinch her chin and draw her lips toward mine. “Good girl,” I whisper before crushing my mouth on hers.

  Twenty-Five

  Marla

  If I wasn’t already head over heels for Jonah Botsford, this night would have sent me right over the edge.

  From the moment the band stepped on stage. No, even before that. From the second Jonah’s lips left mine and he walked off to join his band, my heart has been pounding harder than it ever has before.

  I never thought I’d get this close to him. Ever. I always assumed the light interactions behind the desk at the Plaza were as close as I’d ever get to him. That all the times I fell asleep with earbuds in my ears would be as close as I’d ever get to him whispering to me at night.

  I was wrong.

  So very wrong.

  Now, standing here in the wings of the stage and watching him perform… I can reach out and touch him. He wouldn’t even mind. He’d welcome it. He’d smile and touch me back and I’d lose a little more of myself to his eyes.

  I’d give him everything.

  Every last piece of me.

  For the first time in my life, that thought doesn’t fill me with dread. I’ll welcome his touch as much as he’ll welcome mine. I’ll submit to him and his needs… and he’ll gladly return the favor.

  My pounding heart skips twice. Am I really thinking this way? Is this really me or have I been cleverly seduced by the rock god in front of me?

  Does it matter?

  Probably not.

  I want him anyway.

  Before I know it, the show is over. Katrina backs away from her keyboard. Bronson lowers his sticks. Knox and Addison set their guitars back onto their stands while the small, maximum capacity crowd screams for an encore. They all wave and blow kisses as the band walks off but Jonah…

  He stays on stage. He trades his bass for his acoustic and takes a seat on a stool at center stage next to a microphone stand.

  “How you doing tonight, Vegas?” he asks.

  They scream incoherently. More, more, more.

  Jonah smiles and looks into the crowd as he balances his guitar on his knee. “It’s just you and me for this one,” he says. “Hope you don’t mind.”

  They clearly don’t.

  “Good.” He makes a few minor adjustments to the mic stand as he speaks. “I wanna share something with you guys. Something no one else has ever heard before, except one.”

  His eyes stray, searching for me in the darkened wings. I smile.

  “I’d like to dedicate it to her tonight,” he says. “Without her, I wouldn’t have found my utopia, so this one’s for Marla.”

  I’d gasp if I could even breathe.

  Jonah lightly strums at his guitar, filling the silent space with the first few notes of Unique Utopia. It feels just as good as the first time I heard it. The notes wash over me, nearly knocking me down to my knees. I lay a palm over my chest to keep my heart from bursting out but I quickly realize that it’s not the only place of me threatening to tear me apart.
>
  Every last piece of me.

  As Jonah plays the final note, the lights dim and the crowd goes even wilder than they were before. They scream his name. They beg for another encore. They slap their tables and raise their glasses.

  More, more, more.

  But they’ll have to wait.

  Jonah quickly sets his guitar down and rushes off the stage in my direction. He finds me in seconds and I feel his strength guiding me even further into the dark. My back hits a wall and he kisses me, hard and fast. He pins me here, locked in place together until we’re both begging to breathe.

  “Sorry,” he whispers, his chest heaving. “I needed you.”

  He needed me.

  I need him.

  I pull him closer to me, feeling his erection dig into my hip. Our lips graze and our noses bump. His body grinds against mine and I quiver from the urges boiling inside of me.

  “I need you,” I say into his ear. “I’m ready.”

  Jonah tilts his head back to find my eyes. “Are you sure?” he asks, not even needing me to explain what I mean. We can both feel that raw power between us, begging to be satisfied, and I can’t imagine a more perfect night than this one.

  “Yes,” I answer. I find his lips again, one soft and slow kiss. “I want to do it tonight.”

  He kisses me back and nods. “I need to finish this first,” he says regrettably.

  I laugh, happily releasing my iron grip on his shirt. “Save it for later, Botsford,” I tell him.

  Jonah drifts backward, his eyes on me as he takes the stage again. “Believe me,” he says over the screaming crowd. “I will.”

  Twenty-Six

  Marla

  Jonah swipes his keycard through the door. It flicks from red to green and he steps inside. He holds the door open for me just like always and waits for me to cross over.

  I thought about this moment on the way here. I wondered if it would be different than all the other times I walked into this hotel suite. Would I feel anxious or scared knowing what was about to happen? Would I hesitate? Or chicken out completely?

  Surprisingly, I feel no different at all. I’m still just Marla. He’s still just Jonah. All we’ve done together from music to… everything else has been everything I wanted it to be and more. Why should tonight be any different?

  I step inside and Jonah closes the door behind us. I move toward the closet to hang up my jacket like always but I pause as I feel Jonah’s hands on my shoulders. He silently slips his fingers beneath my jacket collar and slides it down my arms. It drops to the floor and I shiver as his fingers graze my hands and arms, all the way to my shoulder blades. He pushes my hair to the left side and I swoon beneath his tender lips as they caress my neck.

  “Are you sure?” he asks me again.

  I smile. “Aren’t you?”

  “Oh, I’m very sure.” His warm breath touches my cheek. “Don’t think I’m not. I just want you to be.”

  I turn around and his hands rest again on my shoulders. “I want to be with you, Jonah.” I look into his eyes, so big and full of desire. “Especially after tonight.”

  He chuckles. “Like what you saw, eh?”

  “Seeing you up there, only a few feet away, was just…” I sigh as blood trickles down my spine. “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”

  His palm caresses my cheek as he tilts my head up and kisses my lips. “I could feel your eyes on me the whole time,” he says. “I wanted to do well for you.”

  I lay my hands on his chest and slide them up and back, slowly pushing his jacket off his shoulders. “You were awesome,” I tell him. “Best Criminal Records show I’ve ever seen.”

  He lets the jacket fall off his arms to the floor and immediately puts his hands on my hips. “Now I know that’s true,” he says, smiling wide. “You wouldn’t lie about that.”

  I shake my head. “Never.”

  “You’d tell me if we weren’t up to snuff.”

  I nod. “Yes, I would.”

  “I trust you,” he says, his voice dropping to a sweet whisper. “You trust me, right?”

  “Yes,” I answer, swallowing hard. “More than anyone.”

  He takes my hands in his, gently entwining our fingers together. Without a word, he steps back once, twice, and again, pulling me with him toward his bed. I move with him, unable to stop myself as my heart and core pound even harder.

  We reach the bed and Jonah lowers to sit on the edge. I sit down beside him, my breath held tight as I wait and see what he’ll do next.

  Jonah leans in and kisses me. His lips are sweet and warm, though I can tell he’s holding back for me. He wants more, so much more, and so very faster but I can’t get over this niggling feeling that there’s something wrong. Something I forgot to do or should do. Somewhere else I’ve gotta be even though there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

  I exhale slowly, hoping to send all of that stiffness away with it but it holds on regardless.

  Goddammit, girl. Chill out.

  It’s just a little sex... with Jonah Botsford.

  Well, that didn’t help.

  Jonah shifts slightly, giving himself a little room to angle his kiss toward my cheek. I shudder as his warm breath tickles my earlobe and I swear I feel his lips curl upward as he kisses my cheekbone and whispers, “Down down baby...”

  “What?” I ask, my skin tingling.

  “Down down baby,” he repeats, his voice dipping low and melodic, “all the way.”

  I smile. “Jonah.”

  “Down down baby, whadya say?”

  He looks at me, his eyes instantly finding and acknowledging my growing grin. The second it does, he shifts forward and guides me to lie down. I tremble as a little bit of my nerves melt away. My favorite song. And he knows it.

  “The lights are low and the time is right,” he continues singing to me and I relax even more. His hand slides up my thigh and across my chest, climbing toward the top button on my shirt. “Down down baby...”

  “We’ll go all night,” we sing together, low and slowly, as he starts unbuttoning one-by-one.

  Jonah kisses me on the lips and even more of me turns to jelly beneath his touch. My shirt sits open and he reaches in to caress my skin. Warm lightning passes between us as his hand glides from my neck to my bra and even further down. He hums his song just beneath his breath, words barely passing his teeth as he kisses my cleavage and pinches the zipper on my jeans.

  “Down down baby, it’s all for you,” his tongue connects above my navel, “Down down baby, this night for two.”

  I bite my bottom lip as he pulls my zipper down and kisses the upper edge of my underwear.

  “We’ll take it slow and I’ll do you right,” he pauses with fingers hooked on my pants and desire in his eyes. “Down down baby... with lips so tight.”

  I raise slightly, so utterly seduced, and he pulls my pants down to the ankles — panties and all. “I always wondered if you wrote that about somebody,” I say as I point my toes.

  Jonah drops my clothes to the floor and returns to hover over me. “As far as I’m concerned,” he says, smirking, “it’s all about you, baby.”

  I laugh. “Easy line.”

  “Truthful line.” He kisses my navel again with hands resting on my bare thighs. “I wasn’t thinking about anyone at the time when I wrote it but it sure as hell makes me think about you now.” His eyes gaze upward into mine, desperately sinful. “There’s so much I want to do to you, Marla...”

  I admire the strength of him. The way he moves, the way he speaks. The subtle twitch of his muscles just begging to pounce. How he licks his lips like a thirsty animal; thirsty for me and the way I make him feel.

  I reach down and pinch the top of his beanie. He stares at me as I pull it off and toss it aside so I can run my fingers through his thick, brown hair. His eyes close as I tease his scalp and he dips his head as if it brings him pleasure.

  Jonah pushes up suddenly and I jolt as he crushes his lips on mine. The kis
s is ravenous, so full of passion that I know I’d tumble to the floor if I weren’t already lying down. I pull on his shirt and he instantly raises his arms to let me strip it off him. I throw it away and pause to admire his body, once again enamored with his hard lines and simple tattoos.

  Before I can take a full breath, his lips return to mine and I reach for his belt between us. Jonah holds himself up on his arms and lets me yank his pants open. I quickly push them down past his firm ass — boxers and all. His skin touches mine. Our body heat mingles together. I rest my open knees against his hips and try not to focus too much on how close his tip is to touching me...

  With legs spread wide and my heart on fire, I wait. I wait for him to do everything he said he wanted to do.

  But, Jonah shakes his head and smiles. “Not yet,” he whispers as he kisses me again.

  I exhale the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Not yet?” I ask.

  He sits back on his knees and looks at me, his daring eyes traveling wherever he pleases. “Come here,” he says, motioning me to sit up.

  I obey, quickly pushing up with my hands on the bed behind me. Jonah eases closer and cups my face, once again drawing me in for a deep, passionate kiss that makes me thankful for his firm, steady hands holding me up.

  “I want you,” he tells me. “All of you.”

  His hands slip over my shoulders, slowly pushing my open shirt off. I let it fall, our lips still entwined as he tosses it away and easily unhooks my bra behind me. I purposefully cast the straps from my arms and he smiles wide before pulling me in and kissing me even harder.

  My skin radiates with each layer we cast off. The air-conditioned chill only lasts a second before his heat blankets me. I’ve never felt more vulnerable, more exposed, and yet I care less and less with each passing second. Jonah’s arms have become my safe place, somehow. I’ve seen with my own eyes what he’ll do to protect me, whether from asshole customers or even from my own self-doubt. I don’t have to hold back anymore. I can just be me here. We can be us.

  As we lie back down, Jonah kicks his pants off his ankles. We’re both naked now, surrounded by a sea of white blankets on a tall hotel bed with nothing but flashing city lights to remind us there’s another world out there. The light bounces off his skin, plays with the ink along his arms, and settles amid the shadows of his eyes. Somewhere along the way, I lose myself completely.