Shadows of Jane

by Amy Hale

  He kissed her again, and then he proceeded to show her exactly what it meant to have an experience she’d relive over and over for the rest of her life.

  Jane woke up, wrapped in Colt’s arms. She smiled. It was just getting dark out, and they’d spent most of the day in bed. She stretched and realized she was a little sore, but it was a good kind of sore. It was worth it. Colt was amazing, and she’d no doubt cherish this day long after he moved on.

  She knew he wasn’t a one-woman man. He’d said as much before she practically threw herself at him. While she’d love to have a forever with him, he never promised it, and it wasn’t fair of her to expect anything more than what they had before today. She’d known that when she agreed to sleep with him. It’d seemed logical then, so she didn’t understand why it hurt so much to think about now.

  She shook off her somber thoughts and decided to get up and make a late dinner. When she moved, Colt’s arms tightened around her and pulled her back against his bare chest.

  “Where are you sneaking off to?” He kissed her shoulder and nuzzled her neck while caressing her hip.

  “I thought I’d make us something to eat.”

  He growled and flipped her onto her back, hovering over her. “I’m only hungry for you.”

  He smiled in an almost predatory way, and she laughed.

  “There you go, laughing at me again. You really know how to crush a man’s ego.”

  “I’m sorry.” She clamped her lips shut to stop chuckling, but it was no use. Small sounds were still escaping, and she had to close her eyes to concentrate on keeping it in.

  “You will be.”

  Colt pressed his lips to hers, and her smile disappeared as he started working his magic on her once again. His hands were all over her, and she gasped for air as his caresses changed from soft touches to tickling. She twisted and kicked to get away, trying to talk in between laughs.

  “See? This is a reason to laugh.” He tickled her one more time and then smiled down at her as she regained her breath.

  When she could talk again, she placed her palms on his chest. “I just learned something about myself.”

  “Oh, yeah? What did you learn?”

  “I learned that I have a vengeful streak. You will pay for that one.”

  He pressed her down into the mattress, his face close to hers. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  He kissed her again, and after a moment, she pushed him away.

  “Really though, I’m hungry. Can we get up and eat something?”

  He laughed. “Sure thing, beautiful. Just promise me, we can pick up where we left off when we’re done.”

  She was suddenly overcome with emotion, so she just smiled and nodded. His words hit hard. She’d love to pick up where they’d left off once this whole ordeal was over, but she wasn’t sure it would ever be over.

  Colt rolled off of her and reached for his jeans, quickly putting them on and walking to the bathroom. She rose from the bed and grabbed her shirt from the floor. Her bra had been flung over the chair, but she didn’t need to put that back on since Colt had plans to disrobe her again after dinner.

  She slipped her shirt over her head when she heard buzzing coming from the small dining table. She padded over and picked up Colt’s cell phone. He had a text message from Dr. Weston.

  Colt, not sure where you are, but if you have Jane with you, it might be best to stay out of sight for a while. Rumors are making the rounds, and it’s not favorable for either of you. Jerry is saying he’ll be pressing assault charges against you both. I’ll keep you posted. —Doc

  Jane set the phone down and closed her eyes. She was afraid this would happen. She was going to ruin Colt’s life, and he was too stubborn to save himself from her.

  She wiped away a stray tear and walked into the kitchen to decide on dinner. She pulled out some leftovers that Colt had packed in there just yesterday and emptied them into pans.

  Colt emerged from the bathroom and watched her work. He stood behind her as she turned on the burners and set two pans on the stove. Once she finished, he pulled her back and hugged her from behind. He used two fingers to gently brush her hair aside, and he kissed the side of her neck. She leaned her head back and hugged his arms as they held her to him. “Your phone buzzed.” She then pushed the text message out of her thoughts and reminded herself that she had to do this one step at a time.

  She pulled away from Colt to stir the pulled chicken and green beans, so he grabbed his phone and scanned the message. He pushed the object in his pocket, then set the table and grabbed a couple of water bottles.

  “Is water okay?” He held one of the bottles in the air. “I did grab a few beers, but I want you to be completely sober and consensual later.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner, and she had to stifle another laugh.

  He smiled at her. “See? That’s when you’re supposed to laugh—when I’m being stupid.”

  She turned off the burners and gave him an innocent smile. “Really? Are you implying that you have times when you aren’t being stupid?”

  He set the water down and started walking toward her. “Oh, you will pay for that, missy!”

  Jane held her hands out in front of her, defending her position near the stove. “Be very careful, Mr. Henderson. I have pans full of hot food at my immediate disposal.”

  Colt stopped and laughed. “I know you wouldn’t do it. You’re too hungry to waste the food.” Then, he held his hands up. “Truce.” He walked back to the table and held a chair out for her. “Shall we?”

  Jane brought the pans to the table, setting them on small metal trivets, and then she took the seat he’d offered.

  In town, Dr. Weston was wringing his hands and praying Colt had gotten his message. Jerry was a nasty piece of work and knew just how to start trouble. Just this morning, he’d seen Jerry sitting at Barb’s Diner, talking to that news anchor. That couldn’t be good news.

  Dr. Weston knew there was no way Jane would have purposely hurt anyone, but the rumors were building momentum, and that would eventually catch up to her.

  Making his late rounds at the hospital, Dr. Weston informed the girl behind the front desk that he was to be paged immediately if Colt or Jane called in. Her eyes widened at the mention of Jane’s name, but if she disapproved, she wisely kept her thoughts to herself.

  Lance was standing nearby and overheard the doctor’s instructions.

  “Hey, Doc! You got a minute?”

  Dr. Weston glanced at his watch. “Sure, Lance. What can I do for you?”

  “I heard you mention Jane. Is she okay? I’ve been hearing crazy rumors, and I’m really worried about her. Is she safe?”

  Dr. Weston hesitated, but Lance seemed genuinely concerned for her welfare, so he brushed his doubts away. “I believe she’s fine. I haven’t heard from her in a couple of days, but I think she’s with Colt.”

  Lance grimaced, and a muscle twitched in his cheek. “Colt?”

  Dr. Weston frowned. “Is there a problem?”

  “No. No problem, Doc. I was just hoping I could see her. I doubt Colt would allow that. He’s been hovering around her like bees around honey. I can never get a moment alone to talk to her. Now that he’s being her protector in all this, I won’t have a freakin’ chance.”

  Dr. Weston patted Lance on the back. “Don’t worry, my boy. If it’s to happen, it will. Nothing can stand in the way of what is meant to be.”

  Lance gave him a slightly hopeful look. “You believe in all that fate crap?”

  “Indeed I do. I’ve seen too much to pretend that we don’t all have a purpose and destiny. It might not be grand. It might just be an old man doing hospital rounds on a typical weeknight. But somehow, in the grand scheme of it all, I have my part to play. So do you, Lance. Never forget that.”

  Lance smiled. “Do you think we can alter our destinies?”

  Dr. Weston thought about that for a moment. “I guess we can. Our decisions alter our paths, bu
t ultimately, I think we’ll still end up where we are supposed to be.”

  Lance laughed. “Thanks for the cryptic and confusing advice, Doc. Listen, if you find out where Jane is, please let me know. I’d really like to personally check on her.”

  Dr. Weston nodded and then waved before walking toward the elevators.

  Lance smiled to himself. Colt might have her attention now, but fate be damned, he would find a way to make Jane notice him, no matter what it might take.

  FOR NOW, I RUN SO FAR AWAY,

  AND PRAY I FIND CONTROL.

  Colt watched Jane sleep. She lay on her side, facing him, as she breathed deeply. He couldn’t help but think of how peaceful she looked. Her inner turmoil was temporarily banished, and he hoped her dreams would be kind to her.

  She deserved something wonderful for a change. She deserved something amazing. She deserved…better than him. Yet he couldn’t imagine letting her go. He’d felt sure that making love to her would be great, but it had far exceeded his expectations. Frankly, it’d surprised the hell out of him. He’d realized a little too late that she was a virgin, which made her trust in him all the more meaningful. He’d taken it slow and worshiped every inch of her.

  He’d wanted to brand himself in her memory. Instead, she’d branded him.

  Colt had never had an experience that even remotely touched what he’d felt with Jane in the last few hours. He had hoped that sleeping with her would help him cool his heels a bit. Once again that had backfired massively. He found that he only craved her more. He feared he would never be satisfied with a little bit of Jane.

  For the first time in his life, he was considering forever. She wasn’t like the women in his past. She sure wasn’t like his mother. He could actually see building a life with her. Colt had never wanted that before, and it was a foreign yearning that he’d have to adjust to.

  She made a cute little sighing sound and rolled over. He smiled and cuddled up behind her. Kissing her behind the ear, he draped a protective arm over her. He fell asleep, thinking of Jane and all the wonderful years he would have to spend with her.

  Jane kept her eyes closed and continued to breathe deeply, faking sleep. Colt had certainly given her plenty of reasons to be physically exhausted, but she couldn’t rest. Her mind was reeling with worry for him. When she closed her eyes, she would see images that she’d rather forget.

  In the past, her visions had hit her almost like a trance, but since the fight with Jerry, they had been randomly sneaking in whenever she closed her eyes. She had only gotten small tidbits—a room that looked a little familiar, a child’s toy, and a wooded area—but the common factor was the girl who appeared in every vision. She was always there. In the most recent visions though, she never said a word. Jane had tried to communicate, but the girl had only sadly looked at her. It was starting to creep her out.

  Jane continued to lie still until she was sure Colt was lost in slumber. Then, she carefully unwrapped herself from his hold and sat up on the end of the bed. For a moment, she considered just lying back down, but she knew she couldn’t. She had to do the right thing by Colt.

  She quietly padded to the bathroom, gathering her clothes as she went. Once she was dressed, she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and slipped on her tennis shoes. She left the bathroom and spotted her duffel bag on a chair near the bed. She picked it up and inspected the contents. Then, she looked around for the backpack she’d seen shortly after they arrived. She knew Colt kept it on hand for hikes and it would be easier to carry than her duffel bag.

  Colt shifted on the bed, and she froze, fearing he’d woken up. He shifted again and reached across the bed where she’d been sleeping. He seemed to frown in his sleep but never opened his eyes. She waited until he’d settled again, and then she continued to look for the backpack. She finally found it behind a small armchair near the fireplace. It was empty, so she quickly emptied the duffel bag of her possessions and filled the backpack with them. Then, she grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and a package of granola bars, and she stuffed them in the pack.

  She picked up Colt’s dark blue hoodie and held it up to her face. She inhaled and tried to memorize the slight smell of spicy cologne and the outdoors that seemed to always cling to him. She watched Colt sleep for a few minutes, and then she slipped the hoodie over her head.

  She put her arms through the backpack and checked her pocket to assess how much cash she still had. Earlier in the week, Colt had given her some money for necessities, but she’d spent very little of it. Now, she was immensely glad she’d saved it.

  She walked over to where he lay, bent down close to his ear, and whispered, “I’m sorry, Colt. I have to. I hope you understand someday. Please just know that I care about you, and I’ll never forget our time together.”

  She wanted to kiss him one last time, but she was afraid of waking him up. She hesitated and then decided to risk it. Her lips softly touched his cheek. She felt the tears forming on her lashes, so she quickly stood up before they could fall on his skin. Wiping them away, she drank in the sight of him one last time, and then she quietly slipped out the front door. She needed to quickly get away because she knew the sobs threatening to choke her wouldn’t stay down for long.

  Colt awoke to chirping birds and bright sunshine cascading through the cabin windows. He stretched and sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. He turned with the intention of pulling Jane close but realized she wasn’t in bed. He assumed she was in the bathroom, so he rolled onto his stomach and gazed at her pillow, remembering how she’d looked sleeping next to him.

  Sometime in the night, he’d decided she was his future. He needed to give her time, but someday, they’d both be ready for the next step. He’d eventually buy the most amazing ring he could find—something unique to fit the woman wearing it.

  He reached over to her side and frowned. The sheets were cold. She hadn’t been in bed for a while. He listened for the sink, shower, or toilet, but all was silent in the bathroom as well. He got out of bed and slipped on his jeans, and then he entered the bathroom to confirm his suspicions.

  He left the bathroom and headed straight for the front door, praying she was on the porch. The door was unlocked, so she had to have opened it.

  Stepping outside, he looked around but saw no signs of her, and he started to panic. Running back inside, he quickly finished dressing. He slipped on his boots when he noticed her empty-looking duffel bag on the table.

  Standing, he slowly walked toward it, as if he were approaching something he’d rather not see. He swallowed the lump in his throat and picked up the bag. He didn’t know what she’d done with her stuff, but it sure as hell wasn’t where it had been when they went to bed last night.

  He turned and looked over every inch of the cabin, hoping to see some sign of what had happened to her, but nothing stood out.

  Walking into the kitchen, he spotted a small slip of paper on the counter.

  I’M SO VERY SORRY, BUT THIS IS FOR THE BEST.

  DON’T TRY TO FIND ME. BE HAPPY, COLT. TAKE CARE.

  Colt closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He crumpled the paper in his hand and threw it on the counter.

  “Son of a…”

  Then, he picked up a coffee cup and chucked it at the front door with all his strength. As it shattered, he yelled, “Damn it, Jane!”

  He sat down on the kitchen floor and put his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe he’d let this happen. The one time he’d believed he might want to build a life with someone, she’d turned out to be just like his mother—leaving when things got too hard.

  He shook his head and let out a small self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m a damn fool.”

  Less than two hours later, Colt had showered and packed up the cabin. After loading the truck, he locked up and climbed in the cab. A small part of him wanted to stay put just in case she came back. The larger part of him wanted to get the hell out of there and put this whole mess behind him.

 
He’d spent the last hour or so trying to convince himself that all he’d felt for her was lust, and he’d simply gotten caught up in the moment. She wasn’t his to care for, and he really wasn’t interested in that kind of responsibility anyway. Pulling out of the dirt driveway and onto the small gravel road leading to the highway, he tried to repeat those words to himself, hoping they’d stick. But he never seemed to be able to get past the thought that she wasn’t his. The more it ran through his mind, the more it caused an ache deep in his chest.

  Colt made it to town in less than his usual thirty minutes and drove straight to Dr. Weston’s house. He parked in the alley behind the modest ranch-style home and rang the back doorbell.

  Dr. Weston answered and immediately looked surprised. “Colt! What are you doing here, boy? Did you get my text message?” He opened the door wide and motioned for Colt to enter.

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  Dr. Weston noticed Colt was unusually surly this morning. He looked out the window to where the truck was parked. “Where’s Jane? Is she okay?”

  Colt blew out a frustrated breath. “Hell if I know. She ran out on me sometime last night.”

  Dr. Weston frowned. “Did you try to find her?”

  “She doesn’t want me to look for her, Doc. She seems to think I’m better off without her.”

  “She’s not, Colt. You and I both know that. She needs you, especially now that she’s big news in the area.”

  Colt froze. “Big news? I realize what happened was freaky, but I’m sure the gossip will die down soon.”

  “Oh, dear.” Dr. Weston paced across the small kitchen and wrung his hands. “It’s not that simple anymore. A reporter has been snooping around. He claims to have an eyewitness account of more than just what happened with Jerry.”

  “More? Like what?”

  “I don’t know all of it. Something about a bathroom in a bar. Now, it’s being said that she purposely started that fire at the shelter with the intent to kill people, hoping it would look like an accident.”