Az

by A A Bavar

  “Is that why you’re sad? Did someone take something that belongs to you?”

  “Kind of. I didn’t want to give my necklace. Really! But I did it because he said it would help other people if I did. And then Miss Diana was angry because I talked to a stranger in the playground. But when she went to see he wasn’t there anymore.”

  “I see. You know that Miss Diana is right, don’t you?”

  “I guess. Mommy always told me, too,” she said, as her voice trailed off, and she lowered her gaze. “I want Mommy’s necklace back.”

  I felt a teardrop land on my hand and was suddenly pulled into Kay’s memory of that morning. I’m not sure how that happened. For me to be transported this way was unique, but there I was, standing in the school playground and in front of me, looking at me, were the only pair of eyes that could stop my heart in cold fury.

  “Hello, dearie.”

  I wanted to reach out and snap his neck. How dare he approach Kay? But alas, I was simply a spectator of past events.

  “Um, hi.”

  “Oh, don’t be scared. I’m not a bad person, just a little impish at times,” he said with a hint of a smile. “Do you think you can help me?”

  “I don’t know. You don’t look like you need help, mister. Maybe Miss Diana can,” she said, and turned to look at the classroom door. Standing there with my back to Lucifer was the most distressful sensation, and although I knew that it was only a memory, I could not help feeling completely naked and vulnerable.

  “No, you are the only one who can help me. You see, you have something that I need.”

  “I do?” said Kay, as she turned back.

  “Yes, and it’s with you right now,” said Lucifer, and pointed to the necklace.

  “Mommy’s necklace? You want Mommy’s necklace?”

  “Yes, Kay.”

  “But I can’t give you Mommy’s necklace. No!”

  “What if I told you that your soul depended on it? You see, nobility of spirit is when you can be happy when in great hardship, or when you do something that will help someone else when you get nothing in return or even lose something. It’s called sacrifice.”

  “I don’t understand, but I won’t give you my necklace! You just want to trick me.”

  “Yes, I do. It’s my nature. But I can see that you are a very determined, young girl. Very impressive for your age.” He stopped and nodded in consent. “That necklace is what you want today, maybe even need. But let’s see just how this decision will play out in the future,” he said, and turned to leave. “I’ll be seeing you.”

  I watched him walk away and knew that he was wallowing in triumph, believing that the weed of human greed was already flourishing in Kay. But he didn’t know Kay.

  “Hey, mister!”

  TWENTY-ONE

  I knew what I had to do. Sometimes we forget ourselves in the path of doing what we think is right, but we always sacrifice ourselves for love.

  Hell was the clear image of distress and agony, the reflection of Man’s deepest fears and tormented soul. This was the darkened void where sinners crawled after the last curtain call. The cave I was standing in was wide and tall, with fire shooting from the ground and licking at the walls and ceiling. Melting stalagmites fell into the web-like rivers of lava that flowed everywhere, while explosions continuously shook the ground, and sulfurous smoke veiled my eyes and burned my throat. None of this, however, troubled me. It was all theatrics with the distant moaning of a fiddle, a show for my benefit. But then, I felt it. At first, it was a subtle uneasiness in my mind, that sense of foreboding. Gradually, it spread and my whole being became engulfed with an overpowering feeling of despair. I wanted to scream and tear at myself, somehow find a way to exorcise the beast within me. And then, I was once again under water with Mary, and the chaos in my mind became mute and I discovered the demon; Man’s soul lost in its own darkness crying for mercy.

  “So, you finally decided to visit the Devil’s chapel. How touching, but I don’t see a housewarming gift. Or is it that you have finally decided to join me and succumb to your true nature? Somehow, I don’t think so.”

  I came out of my reverie and saw Lucifer, in his human form, seated on a throne that was not there just moments before. He was sitting casually with his legs crossed holding an apple in his right hand. The sight of Mary had calmed my nerves and despite the urge I had when I first arrived to cause extreme hurt, I decided – momentarily – against it.

  “Lucifer! The fallen angel of heaven. The Day Star that was cut down to the ground. I was definitely expecting more glamour and shine than this. But how fitting for the son of Dawn who tried to ascend above the heavens to be now sitting on a throne of stone.”

  Lucifer looked down at me, his penetrating eyes a shade of red hotter than the fiery world surrounding us. I knew that I had taken a great risk going there, into the devil’s lair, but I had to for Kay.

  Lucifer grinned in his usual condescending way, and as he tossed the apple back and forth from one hand to the other, said, “A throne of stone it may be, but who else can claim what I have? How could I prostrate before Adam, long dead by now mind you, a creature of clay who was forged by the fire that is my essence? Your essence! I am the Prince of the World whom every descendant of Adam admires.” He stopped throwing the apple, tipped an imaginary hat, and continued in a silky tone, “The perfect and noble gentleman.”

  “True, but you will also always be the Devil, the angel every man fears and despises.”

  “You say that as if it’s a bad thing. You think that integrity, talent, and hard work will in the end get you where you want to go and reward you? Are you still that naïve? Hasn’t Man proven that is a myth, an illusion for the weak? If you want something, you have to take it. It’s a game of interests, and you have to know how to play and who to play, and that’s something that still evades you. Had it not, you wouldn’t be where you are and certainly not here today. Sometimes you win, other times you trick others into getting what you want. And I do both! Look around, I am the eternal Lord of lost souls, and every one of them came here willingly,” he said, and slowly passed his index finger on the edge of the carved, stone arm rest. “Today, you are here because I wanted you to be here.”

  Lucifer was right. I was there because he had planned and manipulated, but I would never admit it. “Maybe, but all you did was trick a little girl. I’m here because you took something that doesn’t belong to you, and I want it back.”

  Lucifer looked down at his nails and they morphed into claws. “Kay is a very special child.” Out of nowhere, Kay’s necklace appeared dangling off of one of his upheld talons. He smiled and swung it back and forth like a pendulum.

  “I never doubted that. But why? She’s just a child. If you wanted me, all you had to do was show your ugly face and I would gladly pound it into something more tolerable. And then, we could try and talk.”

  “Always so passionate and hot headed about these insignificant creatures. Beings that are given life without asking for it, who spend the better part of it as ungrateful, self-absorbed egoists, and then, when they realize that they have no control over leaving it, become contemptuous, fearful, and finally no better than beggars.”

  Again, Lucifer was right. His description of Man matched my own for a long time, but Kay had changed that. Not because she was a saint, but because her essence spoke louder than the world. I looked at the swinging pendant and saw Kay’s image standing in the store holding her jar of pennies. It was nine days after Mary’s funeral and all Kay could think about was her little neighbor.

  She marched up to the counter at the pharmacy and on tip-toes put her bottle full of coins on it. The pharmacist glanced at her but continued with his work. He was holding a plastic prescription bottle in one hand and some papers in the other. Whatever she wanted was not worthy of his time. Kay looked around, but there was no one else she could approach.

  “Excuse me, can you help me?”

  “What is it that you want? Ca
n’t you see I’m busy? The gum and candy are at the front of the store. Now, go on.” The pharmacist said all of this without even looking at Kay.

  “I don’t want candy. I have to buy a miracle for my friend.”

  The pharmacist looked at Kay and frowned. He put down the bottle and papers and walked to the counter. “You want to do what?”

  “I don’t want to, I have to buy a miracle. My friend has something bad growing inside his head, and his mommy told my grandma Martha that only a miracle can save him now. See, I brought lots of money to buy it. How much does it cost?”

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. We don’t sell miracles here.”

  “But I can pay! I have the money, and if it’s not enough I can save more. Please, just tell me how much it costs.”

  It was my fault that Kay was at the store that day. She asked me the night before about miracles and being sick, so I assumed she was asking about Mary. Of course, that kind of miracle was impossible, and I explained to her that angels could do many things, but not interfere with life. But, I was mistaken and had a lot to learn about Kay, and the first thing would be to listen to her better. Anyway, I went to her at the store.

  “What kind of miracle does your friend need?”

  Kay turned and looked at me with a surprised but stern face as I walked down the aisle to where she was.

  “I don’t know. His mommy says he’s really sick and needs an operation. But they can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money,” she said with a frown. “But didn’t you say last night that you can’t do miracles?”

  I smiled and kneeled before her. “Well, maybe I can handle this kind of miracle if the price is right. So, how much do you have?”

  “I have one dollar and nineteen cents!” she reported proudly. “I counted it all myself and can even save more if you want.”

  “Well, isn’t your friend lucky? A dollar and nineteen cents is the exact price for a miracle for sick friends.”

  That moment of faith, her belief in me, showed how great Man can be. I’m not sure if I should have taken credit for a miracle that wasn’t my doing, but since his leaf was not yet due and because life has its own mysterious ways of healing, I took the credit for it and reveled in Kay’s joy. Tonight, I had to maintain her faith in me.

  I looked from the pendant to Lucifer. “Why her?”

  “You know why. It’s my job to solicit and prepare new blood. Surely you know that I always plant the seed of ego and passion in my subjects at an early age. They ripen better that way,” said Lucifer. He put the necklace around his neck, his face the perfect Shakespearean mask, the smile unrevealing but taunting. Then, he took a big bite from the apple.

  “You stay away from her. This is between you and me. If your ego still hurts from when I smashed your horn, then you’re a lot more sensitive than I thought. But if it’s a fight that you want, then let’s get it over with right now, right here.”

  Lucifer stopped chewing and slowly swallowed as he threw what was left of the apple to the side. It dried out and vanished into dust before it even hit the floor. “Nothing would give me more pleasure.”

  There was a blinding flash and Lucifer, now completely transformed into his beastly form, lunged at me. I saw it coming and jumped into the air in a summersault just as he rushed by underneath. He hadn’t expected to miss his target, his momentum much too great to stop, and crashed into the opposing wall as I landed in a cat-like stance behind him. Enraged, he doubled back, his nostrils flaring, and came for me full force. Nothing could stop him as he exploded through the stalagmites, sending pieces and shards of rock in every direction. Suddenly, a whip appeared in his hand. I had never seen him use a whip before and didn’t know what the hell to expect, but it was obvious that it wasn’t going to be massage therapy with a happy ending.

  I jumped into the air just as he cracked his whip. It snapped with a terrifying clangor and tore through the space between us, transforming into a bolt of lightning as it snaked its way instantly towards me.

  I was too slow. The tip of the whip bit at my ankle and immediately slithered up, wrapping itself around my left leg, burning through my pants, and cutting my jump short. I hit the ground hard, the shock of impact momentarily confounding me. In that instant, I regretted the taunt about his horn, but this was a battle centuries in the making. There was going to be pain on both sides; me first. Lucifer did not waste his chance. He pulled back on the whip and sent me crashing into the opposite wall. It was Sodom and Gomorrah all over again as he blasted me with a fire ball. I fell limply to the ground and lay there disoriented, the fight already leaving its first mark as blood dripped from the corner of my mouth. My body burned from inside and my bruised muscles screamed in agony. But before I could do anything or regain my composure, Lucifer was on top of me. He crashed his knee into my chest and pinned me to the ground. With his free hand, he grabbed my face in a crunching vice-like grip and turned it to him. His face was only inches above mine with the necklace hanging around his neck and resting on my chest. I could smell apple on his breath and see his jagged, yellow fangs.

  I groaned and he grinned.

  “The next time you challenge me in my own lair, you better have an army with you.”

  I couldn’t answer. His knee was crushing my chest, and I started to cough. But this was the distraction I needed, so I continued with my convulsions, coughing louder and harder each time. Lucifer hesitated and slightly relieved the pressure his knee was exerting on me. That was his mistake. In one swift movement, I grabbed the middle of the whip and quickly wrapped it around his neck. There was an immediate explosion as opposite charges collided and I felt the electricity run through me. My hand burned where it was in contact with the whip, and I smelled scorching flesh. I cried out in pain, but at that same instant used my free hand to tear off the necklace. The explosion and my attack were the perfect cover and although Lucifer was focused on me, he didn’t notice my move and the missing necklace. Instead, he delivered a vicious blow to my head and another to my side.

  The impact was so hard that I instinctively tried to curl into a protective ball, but I couldn’t with Lucifer on top of me. With one end of the whip wrapped around my leg and the other around Lucifer’s neck, I pulled back my hand and stretched my leg with as much force as I could muster. Immediately, I heard a crack and the electric whip around Lucifer’s neck snapped tight, cutting off all circulation. Lucifer’s eyes grew wide open into round bloodshot discs while his snake-like tongue shot out from his gaping mouth and whipped uncontrollably from side to side.

  What ensued was a battle of blind rage. If there ever had been any consideration between us, or rules of war, none of it mattered. There was no strategy or plan of attack, just a flurry of blows delivered in every which way. Lucifer had the upper hand, smashing me from above with the weight of his body behind every blow. I deflected the oncoming slaughter in every which way as our arms and fists collided, tore and cracked with each impact. But as hard as I tried in that position, I was lost, and eventually Lucifer broke through, pummeling my body and face with a final onslaught and bashing me repeatedly into the ground. Then, suddenly, it all stopped.

  My face was screaming in pain and I could taste the blood as it ran down the back of my nose and into my throat. I opened my eyes and through the misty red saw Lucifer staring down at me. How I hated that face. I had to get away.

  The physical battle was lost, and since I had what I wanted, it was time to leave. But we were still bound together by the whip – neck to ankle. Somehow, I had to break that bond, but I was too damaged and spent to attempt anything that required force. So, I did the only thing that I could, and thinking of it still makes me wonder how it worked. I opened my wings and tightly swathed them around us. The result was far more violent than I had imagined as the whip, now confined and surrounded by an energy quite its opposite, burst into an explosive frenzy of thunder and lightning. It thrashed about violently in a futile attempt to find an escape, tightening the noo
se around Lucifer’s neck more and more. I almost wished it would snap it in two, as Lucifer coughed and finally released his grip on me. Almost immediately, there was an explosion and the whip disappeared. It was the moment I was waiting for. I retracted my wings and with a final burst of energy hurled Lucifer into the air. He went crashing through several stalactites before regaining control, but that was all the time I needed. I looked up at him and waved a sardonic goodbye, but to my surprise he wasn’t infuriated or even angered. He looked smug and self-satisfied, and just as I disappeared I heard his hissing whisper.

  “That necklace will be your downfall.”

  TWENTY-TWO

  I was back in Kay’s room kneeling by her bed. The tear I had wiped from her face was still wet on my finger. For her, no time had elapsed, except that her eyes were now wide open with shock and transfixed on my battered and bleeding physiognomy.

  “What happened to your face? Why are you all smoky suddenly?”

  “I just paid an old friend a quick visit and he wasn’t too happy to see me,” I said, and smiled. Then, I lifted my clenched fist and slowly opened it for her to see. “I believe this belongs to you.”

  “My necklace! But how…” Kay started, but stopped as reality sank in once again. “You are an angel,” she whispered.

  I looked at her and paused. Her eyes were so bright and full of life, her soul completely devoid of malice. I wondered if things would have been any different if I had been my old cynical self. I wanted to believe that we have control over what we weave and that not everything is fate. I was wrong.

  “Yes. Thanks to you I am once again something of an angel.”

  I closed my eyes, and when I reopened them the past was the past and I was at the oak table. In the dark, it looked like the hooded figure had not moved a muscle, but I noticed that her right hand was on her chest unconsciously fumbling with something; most likely a cross or other religious symbol. It didn’t matter. She noticed me and immediately moved her hand back to her lap.