“A little better?” He scoffed, and when I risked a glance at him as I stopped at a red light, his eyes were closed and he had the softest smile on his face. “You didn’t make it a little better. You made it a shit ton better when you just showed up, never mind when you dragged me out of my apartment.”
I’d never admit it to anyone—ever—but hearing him say that warmed me far more than it should’ve. I grinned when I felt more than saw him looking at me. “Good to hear it. I also really meant it when I said I’m here for you if you need me.”
His fingers on my leg flexed just a little. “I know. Thanks, babe.”
Before I could call him out on calling me that, we were in front of his apartment building, and I heard the snap of his seat belt after he clicked it free. As I pulled up my brake and turned toward him, I saw him shifting closer to me.
The next thing I knew, he glanced back at April to check that she was still sleeping, and then his big, warm hands settled on either side of my neck and his mouth was on mine. His lips were firm and unyielding, his tongue licking across the seam of my lips to ask for entrance.
I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. No alcohol required this time.
My mouth opened and my arms wound around his neck, pulling him ever closer to me and holding him there as I deepened the kiss. He tasted like strawberry milkshake and Paxton, and I absolutely loved both of those tastes.
Our tongues danced together, our mouths fusing like we never intended on breaking apart again. The kiss was steamy, electric, and entirely inappropriate for doing with a child in the car. It was only that last thought that made me pull away from him, but he didn’t let me go very far.
Resting his forehead against mine, I saw him intently focused on me when I opened my eyes. We were both breathing a little heavier than usual, but that didn’t detract from the confidence and certainty in his voice, even if he was still keeping it down.
“Thank you for showing up for me tonight, Colette,” he said. “I’m really looking forward to the party this weekend and to the wedding now that I know you’re going to be there.”
Okay. Weird, but not totally unexpected. It turned out he was still warming up, though, because then he got surprisingly vulnerable with me.
He stroked my skin with his thumbs, the fierceness in his voice blazing from his eyes when he pulled back just far enough to look into mine. “I’m so fucking glad Brett and Tierra forced us to work together like this. It’s really helped us to put the past where it belongs, which is firmly behind us.”
Leaning in to press one last, hard kiss to my lips, he wrenched his mouth away from mine and reached behind him to open the door. “Let me know when you get home safe, okay? If I don’t hear from you, you’re going to be seeing me again very soon.”
It had been a long time since I’d seen this overly protective side of him, and I felt the corners of my lips twitch before I arched a brow at him. “I’ll let you know, but we’ll be fine. I’ve been getting us home safe for years, Pax. I’ve got this. Talk to you later.”
He looked like he wanted to say something to that, but after a long pause, he simply nodded and climbed out of the car. Waiting until we were at the end of the street before he turned and headed into his building, he stared at the car like he was seriously considering running after it.
After he’d disappeared from view, my mind raced. The past might be in the rearview mirror for him now, but for me it still felt like it had been only yesterday.
Sure, I’d realized this past week that I definitely cared about him—whether it was still or again, I didn’t know, but that hardly mattered. What did matter was that I’d also realized that I hadn’t truly forgiven him for leaving me for the military like I’d meant nothing to him.
If it had been that easy for him to walk away from me, there was no way he’d ever felt as strongly about me as I had about him. He’d picked up and restarted his life with the structure he’d needed, sure, but I’d still been left behind.
Everything I’d thought before remained true, but what was also undeniable was that my life had never been the same after he’d left. For the longest time, I hadn’t believed he was really gone and that he wasn’t going to change his mind and come back for me—to me.
When it had eventually dawned on me that we were well and truly over, I spiraled and lost myself completely after believing with all my heart and soul that he’d be the man I’d spend the rest of my life with. That lovely spiral had ended with me getting into a relationship with Andrew, a man I’d never really loved even though I’d tried to with everything inside of me, and then with me becoming pregnant with April.
I loved my daughter more than the whole world, more than myself, and more than I ever loved Paxton, but I still wished Andrew wasn’t her father. Things could’ve been so different if Paxton hadn’t left me.
April could’ve had a father who adored her, and I wouldn’t have spent almost a third of my life walking around feeling like there was an irreparable hole in my heart. The only thing I couldn’t regret about it all was April, but she was mine, and while I knew it wasn’t biologically possible, I sure felt like I’d always have had her the exact same way she was now.
I’d never know for sure since time travel wasn’t a real thing, and I’d never have risked it anyway, but the point remained that I needed to pump the brakes with Paxton. With things still being so easy, so intoxicating, and so all-consuming between us, I couldn’t keep going with him the way I was now.
After everything he’d said to me just now, it was clear that he’d gotten the wrong idea. The past wasn’t behind us. I wasn’t back in his life, not in that way anyway, and he had no right to go around making demands about our safety.
This wasn’t the same kind of knee-jerk reaction I’d had the other morning. It was simply a reminder that I couldn’t keep kissing him or taking responsibility for his happiness when he was down. I didn’t want history to repeat itself, and I had to be even more careful now because of April.
I’d seen them together tonight. My little girl had started falling for him the night she’d met him, and she was already head over heels for Paxton now.
As much as I truly believed he’d changed, grown up, and all that jazz, I also knew in my heart of hearts that he would leave again. If I let him get close to me, the only way it ended was with him walking away once he got bored.
And he would get bored. Eventually. It was inevitable. A lot might have changed about both of us, but he was still Paxton, and I was still Colette.
He spent his nights partying it up with supermodels while I was usually in bed by nine at the latest. My idea of fun was registering for and attending a seminar I’d been looking forward to for a while or taking April to a theme park with Brett. His idea of fun involved drinking, dancing, and being the life of whatever party he was at.
We were so incompatible, it would make even the most hard-up matchmaker weep to try to fit us together. And that was in a world where apps were taking over their entire industry.
No. Just. No.
He and I couldn’t happen again. This really wasn’t another knee-jerk reaction, but by the time I got home, I was resolute. I couldn’t let him in like I had been recently, no matter how much I might want to.
Because this time when he walked away, it wouldn’t only be my heart he was breaking. It would be April’s too, and I couldn’t allow him to hurt her like he’d hurt me.
I’d rather shove a pencil in my eye repeatedly than have him break her heart. I just couldn’t allow it. I wouldn’t allow it. Even if it cracked some of those old fissures in my heart back open to do it, I had to shut the door on Paxton and me.
And it was about damn time I did it properly.
Chapter 27
PAXTON
“Where’s Colette?” I asked about twenty minutes after I’d joined Brett and Tierra at the bar. “It’s not like her to be so late.”
Brett had his arm slung over the back of my sister’s chair. He
glanced down at his phone lying on the table as though he was checking something, and then he looked back up at me.
“It’s not like her, but it is like her babysitter. Don’t get me wrong, everyone adores Veronica, but she’s not always punctual. Colette called to say she was running behind because Veronica showed up late.”
“Oh. That makes sense.” I angled my chair so I’d be able to keep an eye on the door. “I hope she gets here soon. We’ve got a lot to tell you.”
Tierra leaned forward, curiosity in her eyes as she dragged them over every inch of my face like she was seeing it for the first time. “Speaking of having a lot to tell us, care to start with why you’re looking so much happier? The last time I saw you, you looked like shit. Even before what happened last week, I haven’t seen you looking like this in a long time. What’s changed?”
Brett lifted his beer to take a sip from the bottle, but his eyes were as firmly planted on mine as my sister’s were. I considered keeping it vague for a second, but I had no real reason to keep this from them.
In fact, I wanted to tell them. I picked up my beer, putting the words out there before I took a long sip.
“What’s changed is that things have actually been going really well between me and Colette,” I said, then watched their expressions changing as they processed that little bombshell. I swallowed the fizzy lager, keeping a careful eye on their reactions.
Since Brett knew her probably better than anyone, I watched him more closely than I did Tierra. His eyes widened a fraction, and he blinked rapidly; then he frowned and shot me a long, questioning look. When I didn’t say any more, he kept studying my eyes until eventually, almost impossibly, a smile started spreading on his lips.
My sister didn’t take nearly as long before she went from surprise to smiling. Her lips formed a small o, her head cocked, and then she broke out into a wide grin.
“I can’t say I saw this coming,” Brett said cautiously, his gaze still on mine. “How did it happen?”
I shrugged, even though I wasn’t feeling as nonchalant about it as the gesture made it seem. My heart had been pounding all day since I’d found out I’d be seeing her tonight, my brain was fixated on remembering the way she’d looked the other night in her car after I’d kissed her. I was more than eager to see where tonight would lead us.
“We’ve been talking a lot, obviously, but not just about the wedding. We’ve also been getting to know each other again. We’ve even talked about what happened between us before. I think we might finally be in a place where the past is in the past and she understands why I did it.”
Brett’s eyebrows jumped when I said that last sentence, doubt creeping into his eyes. “Do you think so, or do you know so? I’m not going to lie to you, man. I don’t see her just forgiving you in a matter of weeks after she’s been holding on to what happened for so long.”
“I know,” I said. “I get why you’d think that. I’m not saying we’re going to be the next ones down the aisle, obviously, but we’ve really been connecting again and—”
I cut myself off when she came walking through the door. She paused just inside the classy, quiet bar they’d chosen for our meeting tonight, and I swore my heart just about stopped at the fucking sight of her.
Again.
I didn’t think she’d ever stop having that kind of effect on me, and honestly, I didn’t want her to. Not anymore.
Dressed in a simple, professional black dress that hit just above her knees, low-slung black heels, with a bright red belt cinched around her waist, she was the most spectacular sight in town as far as I was concerned. I knew there was every chance she’d been dressed like that for work today, but to me she looked good enough to hit any catwalk in the world.
Her blonde hair shone with the cool blue lights shining down from the ceiling, loose and ready for me to plunge my hands into it. While she wasn’t usually big on makeup, her eyes had a smokier look to them than I was used to seeing.
She looked fucking sexy. So sexy that I was getting hard just staring at her. So sexy that it took me a few beats to notice that those smoky eyes of hers didn’t look at me once when she started walking toward our table.
We dropped the subject of what had been going on between us as she came closer, but I felt Brett’s eyes moving between the two of us, searching for any signs that what I’d said about us leaving the past in the past was correct.
When she finally reached us, she sat down in the empty seat next to me, but when she moved it back in, she also moved it as far away from mine as she could. She smiled at them, but it became tight when she flashed it in my direction for just a second before turning back to Brett.
“Sorry again about being late. To add insult to injury, I was stuck in traffic behind an accident on the way over here,” she said without looking at me again at all. “Everyone involved seems to be fine, but they’re yelling at each other in the middle of the road. What did I miss?”
Tierra cleared her throat, but I saw the questions that flashed briefly in her eyes when she glanced at me. “You didn’t miss a thing. We haven’t quite gotten to the wedding. Paxton was busy telling us about some other stuff.”
Colette’s lips pressed into a line, her chest rising on a deep breath before she turned stiffly to face me. “Well, should we get to it, then?”
I nodded, cocking my head as I looked into her eyes. There was a coolness there I didn’t think I’d see again, but it was definitely present now.
When I didn’t say anything, she turned away from me and started going over all the details of everything we’d planned. She recited all the things she’d told me she’d gotten finalized the other night, then added some other stuff we’d done since.
Over very curt email threads, come to think about it. I’d thought she had just been busy, but she was definitely different with me this evening than she had been since the very first one after we’d been thrown together.
“Brett has his final fitting day after tomorrow. All the boys do. Paxton and Brett’s dad too, then they’ll go from there to the starting point for the bachelor party,” she was rattling off. “My final fitting for my dress is at the same time, in the same shop, but obviously in the ladies’ section. I’ll go over to them when I’m done.”
She glanced down at her phone, where I saw the list she was going through open on her screen. “Out of the other stuff you asked me to check on, everything is looking good. The florist will meet us at the venue before the rehearsal dinner. We need to give them the final seating chart next week, and they’ll do the setup required.”
A few more items came after that, and she smiled at the happy couple as she sat back. “I’ve emailed everything to both of you as well. We just might pull this shindig together in time after all.”
Tierra blinked at her before she shot out of her chair and wrapped Colette up in a hug, her eyes shining with tears. “Thank you. I have no idea how you guys have done it, but you’re right. We might just have a shot at pulling off the impossible.”
My sister turned to me once she let go of Colette, hugging me and thanking me as well, whispering against my ear as she did. “You’re really coming through for me, Pax. I owe you. Big-time.”
“So, no dress for me, then? No pampering or nails?” I asked hopefully, and she swatted me on the arm as she pulled away, swiping at the tears that had fallen.
“Of course not, you big goof.” She went back to her seat as Brett embraced Colette as well.
The two of them exchanged a few words in voices too low for me to hear. I saw her giving him a tight nod and a very fake smile before she sat down again. Brett lifted his brows at her, but she mouthed, “Not now.” He gave her a long look before extending his hand to shake mine.
Once we were all settled back down, the waitress had delivered a bottle of champagne and poured the bubbles into a flute for each of us. We raised our glasses as one, clinked, and took our sips before Brett rubbed his hands together.
“Tell us more about these
bachelor parties,” he said, waggling his brows at us. “Have you got mischief and mayhem planned?”
“Absolutely,” I assured him.
At the same time, Colette scoffed and gave her head a quick shake. “Not at all.”
Tierra snorted as her gaze move from mine to Colette’s and back again. “Do you guys need a minute to get your answer coordinated?”
Colette sat up straighter, once again studiously avoiding my eyes. “There will be lots of fun, but no mischief and definitely no mayhem.”
I held up my hand, moving my thumb and index finger until they were about an inch apart. “Maybe a little bit of both.”
Brett and Tierra laughed, but Colette didn’t. It started a trend with her that carried on for the rest of the evening. She didn’t laugh at any of my jokes, didn’t engage directly with me, kept avoiding eye contact, and was much cooler to me than she had been the last time we’d been together.
We drank and talked about the parties, about how much fun we were going to have, and shared the details they needed to know. Brett kept needling to know more, but Colette eventually sighed before she smirked at him.
“The only reason we’re telling you anything at all is because you guys insisted you needed to know some things for practicality’s sake since it’s such short notice. We’re not giving away the surprise entirely.”
I cheered and went to nudge her with my elbow, but she dodged it without even looking at me. Well, that settles it.
My sister shot me a worried look when she noticed, but I shrugged it off and launched into a story about the last bachelor party I’d been to. It lightened the mood around the table, but not the sinking realization inside me that something was going on with Colette.
I didn’t know what it was, but something was clearly wrong. What the fuck did I do this time?
Chapter 28
COLETTE
“You really don’t have to walk with me,” I said to Paxton at the end of the night. “I’m perfectly capable of getting to my car on my own.”
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