Mai Tai Marriage

by Chris Keniston

  “For one thing, saving you from the likes of Graham What’s-his-name.”

  “Who asked you to save me? Do you realize what this is going to do to my father? I can’t even begin to explain how totally and completely and ridiculously stupid, stupid, stupid—”

  “Lexie—” He grabbed hold of each of her arms and pulled her closer. “I didn’t make it up to protect you. We really are married.”

  Momentarily stunned. Lexie blinked a few times before her jaw opened and closed, then she finally muttered. “How?”

  “One bumbling mistake after another.”

  Lexie stumbled back and dropped onto a lounge chair. “You’d better explain.”

  “It’s actually rather simple. We went through all the steps of a traditional Hawaiian wedding. Which in Hawaii is as legal as the ‘do you take this woman’ ceremony stateside. As I told your mother, there’s no waiting period after you get a license and blood tests aren’t required.”

  “We didn’t get a license.”

  “No, but the Event Coordinator at the hotel got the wrong idea that we really wanted to get married and crossed out Bridget’s name and filled in yours. Which wouldn’t have been too bad except she filed it with the Hawaii Department of Health.”

  “The Health Department?”

  “They issue wedding licenses in Hawaii.”

  “Is that legal?”

  He didn’t understand the question. “For the Department of Health to issue a marriage license?”

  “No. For the ditz at the hotel to just cross out a name.”

  “I wouldn’t think so, except the state sent Lt. Levitz a letter confirming receipt of the changed name status on the license registration.”

  “Who’s Lt. Levitz?”

  “He performed the ceremony.”

  “So it’s legal in Hawaii for any sailor to perform a wedding?”

  “No, but—”

  “Good, then that’s our out. We’re not really married.”

  Jim took a seat beside her on the lounge chair and enfolded her hand in both of his. “Lexie. This isn’t a good time for me to be married either, but any sailor didn’t perform the ceremony. Lt. Levitz is a chaplain.”

  * * *

  Chaplain? Married. Mrs. Borden. Oh, God she sounded like a cow. “I think I need to sit down.”

  “You are sitting down.” A slight smile tugged at Jim’s lips.

  “Married,” Lexie mumbled. To Jim. To nice handsome polite Jim. There could be worse things in life. All she had to do was think of Graham. Or Angela’s ex, the hula dancer.

  “Oh, boy,” she muttered, still a little shaken by the revelation. Wait. Not a good time to be married either. What did that mean? “You said this wasn’t a good time for you?”

  Jim shook his head, let go of her hand, and stood. “The reason Bridget called off the wedding was because she thought I didn’t really love her, that I was just infatuated with my nurse.”

  “Your nurse?”

  “Almost a year ago I had an unfortunate collision with a Humvee door.” He raised a small section of his shirt showing a portion of what she suspected was a much larger scar.

  That must have hurt like a son of a bitch. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. There’s a long and poetic history of men falling in love with their nurses. Usually founded in fleeting infatuation. When I left for Kona so eagerly, that cemented the doubts she’d already had that my love was only infatuation and losing its luster. She’s had a change of heart and we’ve agreed to give us another chance.”

  Another chance. As in still loves her? Still wants to marry her? Of course he still wanted that. It had only been a week. No one falls out of love or gets over a broken heart that fast. And he had seemed pretty broken hearted. At least until the Mai Tais and wedding silliness kicked in.

  “I had hoped to come explain the situation to you, hire an attorney and have the marriage annulled before anyone found out.”

  “Anyone meaning Bridget?”

  Jim nodded. Why did she find it just a bit annoying that he was so anxious to unload her that he’d flown all the way to Kona for a quickie annulment? Maybe because being reminded twice in one day that she was yet to be a man’s first choice was just a tad too painful.

  “Okay, I get that you want to work things out with your fiancée and go through with the wedding as planned. What I don’t get, is why in the hell did you tell my mother, of all people, you and I are married? Where does that fit into your hire-a-lawyer and get-an-under-the-radar-annulment plan?”

  Jim sat back down beside her. “I’m sorry, but when I heard your mother pushing the cheating snob on you even after you said absolutely not, it just seemed like maybe this snafu had a higher purpose. Something to help at least one of us out of a difficult situation.”

  His eyes reminded her of a puppy staring up at his master, waiting for any reward for a job well done. And like the puppy who had slobbered all over the bedroom slippers he’d dropped at your feet, Jim’s intentions had been in the right place even if the results were a bit unpleasant. “I suppose I can explain you have to get back to base and only flew in for a…”

  “Conjugal quickie?” Laughter teased the corners of his mouth exposing his dimples.

  How could he make her want to laugh at a time like this? He had no idea what a tangled mess he’d gotten her into. Somehow, she had to keep up the charade long enough to unload Graham but before her mother had the newly married couple plastered all over the Boston society pages. “When are you flying back?”

  “I have almost two weeks leave left. I’d hoped it wouldn’t take more than a day or two to sort out the details. I arranged to bunk with Billy.”

  “Well we know that won’t work.”

  For a split second Jim’s brows creased together before understanding dawned. “Your mother is going to expect a husband and wife to share a house while the husband is home on leave.”

  “House?” Lexie cocked her brows at him.

  Jim’s shoulders sank. “And bedroom.”

  “Yeah.” And bedroom. Back when her boss’ buddies had been hanging out at the dive shop, the testosterone overload had been enough to wreak havoc on any woman’s senses. But it had been Jim who’d had her insides twisting about like a naughty kitty in heat and thinking too bad he hadn’t come to knock some sense into her boss Billy sooner. Like sometime before he’d fallen in love and gotten engaged.

  And now, here he was back in Kona, still committed to another woman, but about to play house with her. The next few days were going to be temptation hell.

  “I’d better get my bag before your mom wakes up.”

  Lexie nodded and waited, her toe tapping on the tile floor. How were they going to pull this off? Her mother was the queen of all snoops. She probably had a pair of white gloves tucked in her carry on waiting to inspect the top of picture frames.

  Carrying what looked like a gym bag, Jim trotted up the walkway. “Lead the way, Mrs. Borden.”

  With an exaggerated roll of her eyes, Lexie turned her back and hurried down the hall. Jim set his toiletries on the bathroom counter and Lexie cleared space in the dresser and closet. This wasn’t going to be easy at all. He had one change of clothes and an extra pair of underwear. “You need to go shopping.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t look at me like that. You started this.”

  “I thought you were going to tell her I’m mostly living on base at Pearl.”

  “And you don’t have even a weekend worth of clothes here?”

  Jim cast his eye around the room, glanced at the open and empty dresser drawer and the nearly empty second closet. “Point taken.”

  “I’ll call Kara. If we can get this annulment started, we can send you back to Pearl sooner than later. Mother doesn’t have to know you have more leave.”

  “Good plan.”

  Before Lexie could say anything else her doorbell rang. “Now who the hell…”

  On her way to the door, Lexie’s mo
ther came out of her room and followed.

  “I thought you had a migraine.” Lexie kept an eye on her mother as she pulled the door open.

  “Everyone ready for dinner?” Graham stood in the doorway, smiling like a used car salesman.

  Lillian stopped a few feet away. “I remembered Graham had called while you were putting my bags in my room and I was preparing the tea, and that we agreed he’d pick us up for dinner.”

  Lexie didn’t move. Didn’t open the door wider. Didn’t invite Graham in. She stared, stunned at her mother. Not until she felt Jim’s fingers tighten around her shoulders had she realized he’d been standing behind her. She repeated, “I thought you had a migraine.”

  “That’s why I forgot Graham called. I took a pill.”

  Pressed against her back, Jim had repositioned himself close enough for his breath to bathe her neck. His hands slid down and gently caressed her upper arms. The gesture was surprisingly comforting. Even if she did feel like purring.

  “Excuse me, Graham. We didn’t realize Mother had made plans.” Stepping aside and waving him in, Lexie sucked in a deep breath. Let the farce begin. “Allow me to introduce you to Lt. Commander James Borden. My husband.”

  Graham extended his hand. “How do you…” His head snapped around to Lexie and his smile slid away. “Excuse me?”

  Lexie turned, pushed the door closed, and careful not to draw attention to herself, slid the pearl band from her right to left hand. Then smiling wide enough to crack her cheeks put as much perk in her voice as she could. “Jim and I were married last week.”

  Grinning like the proverbial cat who had swallowed the canary, Jim reached for the hand Graham still had dangling in front of them. “You can call me Jim.”

  Graham shifted, his phony smile back in place. “Yes, Jim. I guess congratulations are in order.”

  “Thank you.” Jim continued to grin, his hands resting once again on Lexie’s shoulder.

  Lillian eyed both men before addressing her daughter. “I don’t know about any of you, but I could use some food.”

  Lexie nodded. “I’m sure you and Graham can excuse us. We already have other plans.”

  “Newlyweds you know.” A predatory gleam twinkled in Jim’s eyes.

  Lexie forced a mild chuckle. What she wanted to do was smack him.

  “Nonsense. We have to celebrate.” Graham managed to say that and keep a straight face. No wonder Lexie had never suspected her ex was a lying cheat.

  “Any celebration will have to wait.” Lillian slipped her handbag over her arm then straightened to her full five foot seven stature. “I just got off the telephone. Your father is on his way.”

  Chapter Six

  Lexie’s controlled disposition slipped. Her eyes widened, the color in her face drained and Jim was pretty sure, had he not been holding her arms, she would have dropped on the spot. How he wished he’d had time to talk to her alone before her mother and ex had shown up.

  “Daddy’s coming?” Her voice sounded a little shaky.

  Lillian shifted her purse to her other shoulder. “He’s catching the red eye to LA tonight and the first flight to Hawaii in the morning. He should be here by noon.”

  Taking a step back, Lexie bumped against Jim. Instinctively his hold on her tightened, his thumbs gently stroking up and down, hoping to ease some of the tension keeping her spine straight. When silence hung too long in the room, he whispered in her ear, “It’ll be okay.”

  At least he hoped so. His original plan was already going down hill fast and picking up speed. All he could do, they could do, was go with the flow and pray there wasn’t a brick wall at the bottom of the hill. “On second thought, dinner sounds good, I skipped lunch.”

  Lexie bobbed her head and pulled away. “I’ll get my keys.”

  “I can drive,” Graham volunteered more cheerily than the situation called for.

  “No, thanks.” Lexie grabbed her purse. “We’ll follow you.”

  Lillian turned and hesitated at the door. Jim reached for the knob and Graham almost tripped over himself in an effort to get to the door first, his jaw tightening when Jim opened the door and waved his new mother-in-law ahead.

  This guy still had an agenda with Lexie’s mother and every instinct told Jim the agenda was Lexie. And that idea sat in the pit of his stomach like last year’s MREs.

  While Lillian and Graham walked to the car in the driveway, smiling and chatting like long time chums, Jim stayed close to Lexie. “Are you driving?”

  Holding out her arm, and dangling the keys, she shook her head. “Not a good idea. I might drive us off the nearest cliff.”

  “Things could be worse.” He smiled at her.

  “How?”

  “You could have accidentally married him.” Jim lifted his chin and pointed at Graham leaning against the car, arms crossed, and smiling at Lillian Hale with all the charm and skill of a very successful used car salesman. “He still wants you.”

  “He never wanted me.” She seemed to study her ex as the distance between them drew shorter. “But the man definitely wants something.”

  And if Graham Winston Montgomery thought for two seconds Alexandra Hale would be part of his spoils, the deluded man had better think again.

  * * *

  Dinner, much to Lexie’s surprise, turned out to be not at Lillian Hale’s favorite seafood establishment, but at the local Fish Shack. Jim and Graham scrambled to beat each other out holding doors and pulling out chairs for her and her mother.

  So far, Graham had managed to dominate the conversation regaling Lillian with a resume of his latest successes, conveniently avoiding any mention of his failed marriage.

  “The key to outsmarting your competition is doing the unexpected,” Graham explained to Lillian. “When everyone else shrank with cutbacks, we expanded. Opened new distribution centers, creating new jobs and feeding cash flow.”

  The man droned on while Lillian ate and smiled and gave every indication of being thoroughly impressed.

  What surprised Lexie most was Jim sitting at her side. He ate, occasionally gave her hand or knee a gentle reassuring squeeze, but for the most part remained quiet. After the display of chivalrous one-upmanship battling to open doors and pull out chairs when they first arrived, she’d expected Jim to continue the skirmish by outdoing Graham with navy stories. She didn’t know that much about Jim’s naval past, but she knew from spending time with her bosses and their buddies that these men had a wealth of curl-your-toes stories to tell. She doubted Jim was an exception.

  Lexie’s mind wandered back to the years she and Graham had been together. Had he always dominated conversations like this? Or was the awkwardness of the situation keeping her silent? A blast of music from her cell blared. By the time Katy Perry belted out “You’re going to hear me roar” Lexie had retrieved the phone from her purse and answered breathlessly, “Hello.”

  “I hear your almost husband is in town.” Angela Carson giggled on the other end. “I still can’t believe you two nutcases went through such a performance.”

  “Yeah, well.” Mr. Nutcase wore the slightest hint of a smile and gazed at her with an unsettling intensity. “We’re at dinner now with my mother.”

  “He’s with you?”

  Lexie turned in her mother’s direction, making sure she didn’t hear Angela screech through the phone. Where Jim’s soft gaze made her insides melt, her mother’s eyes shouted, Young lady, I raised you better than that. What do you think you’re doing talking on the telephone at the dinner table? And and her stomach instantly twisted into tangled knots. “I’ll have to call you later.”

  “You’d better, we have to talk. And say hi to your mother. And your almost hubby.” Angela giggled again before hanging up. Only Angela could get away with a giggle. From anyone else, the girlish laughter would have been annoying and irritating. From Angela it was just, well, Angela.

  Sliding her phone back into her purse, Lexie looked up at her mother again. “Angela sends her regards.�
��

  “Which reminds me.” Jim set his fork down, and lifted the napkin from his lap to wipe at the edges of his mouth. “Billy is expecting us over later this evening.”

  Lillian Hale watched Jim’s every move as though she were a cat contemplating when to pounce on the canary before shifting her attention to her daughter, silently asking what one thing had to do with the other.

  “Angela and Billy are engaged.” Mid-response it dawned on Lexie that Jim had given her the perfect excuse to escape from under her mother’s all-seeing eye and sort through this mess he’d gotten them into.

  “I’m not surprised.” Her mother nodded, apparently satisfied with the explanation.

  “You’re not?” Because everyone else, except maybe Kara, were surprised as hell when their friend Billy, who hardly ever left the confines of his desk, never mind his office, had not only stopped working long enough to notice Angela, but somehow had found the time to fall in love with her. And to his good fortune, she’d fallen head over hula in love with him, too.

  “Anyone observant in human nature would expect those two to be very well suited. I’ve known Angela since we met in Los Angeles and Billy for almost as long. Both have strong family roots and mild temperaments. An excellent foundation. On the other hand, Angela is traditional and conservative with the simplicity of a black and white sitcom, while by the nature of his chosen professions, Billy is adventurous, fearless, and not adverse to risk for the right reward. An excellent balance. They should do well together. I’m only surprised it has taken this long for them to recognize their compatibility.” Lillian glanced at her watch.

  At home in Boston her mother would have been in bed and sound asleep hours ago. That she had not fallen asleep in her baked tilapia was nothing less than amazing. Able to trace her roots to Boston’s upper crust as far back as the American Revolution, Lillian Hale was the conservative traditionalist in the Hale family. Both concepts were ingrained in her DNA.

  Not so much Alexander Hale. Somewhere in the previous century her father’s ancestors forged their way into high society with money, power and sheer will. Though too many generations ago for the Hale name to be considered anything but the most elite, her daddy had always maintained a more free spirited approach to life and Lexie adored him for that.