Mai Tai Marriage

by Chris Keniston

  “They do seem very happy.” The night Angela and Billy got engaged, they’d shown up at Lexie’s doorstep minutes before Jim and his team had to leave for the airport. Never had Lexie seen two people truly beam. The smiles on their faces were so broad they could have done commercials for teeth whiteners. Holding hands the new couple couldn’t seem to stand close enough to each other. Had Lexie not been so shocked at the sudden engagement, especially since engagement was not the traditional byproduct of a first date, she would have been terribly jealous of the sheer devotion that had passed from one lovebird to the other through a steady gaze of adoration.

  Jim pounced on the mention of the happy couple to link his fingers with hers and smile at her with so much of the same adoration that tethered Billy and Angela together that Lexie could almost imagine it was real. Almost.

  She needed to get her mother home, her ex fiancé out of her sight, and her new husband somewhere they could talk. And plan. “Mother, do you mind if we leave you at the house for a short while?”

  “I’m a big girl. And sleepy too.” Her napkin neatly draped, never folded, beside her dish, Lillian pushed her chair away from the table. “Shall we?”

  “If you’d like, Lillian, I would be happy to give you a ride back to the house.” Graham volunteered, quickly laying his hands at the back of Lillian’s chair.

  Lillian looked to her daughter, her gaze settling on Jim’s hand resting on Lexie’s hip. Lexie didn’t know which affected her more, the intensity with which her mother observed every movement between her and Jim or the heat from his touch now quickly spreading to unmentionable places. “No need, we’ll take her home.”

  “I don’t mind. It’s on my way to the hotel.” Graham stepped aside for Lillian to move forward.

  Lexie could see in the way his gaze averted hers and focused on her mother that he expected no argument. What he said goes. Her mouth was all set to open and put him in his place and hand him the lecture of a lifetime about how he’d never run her life again when Jim’s fingers tightened around her waist.

  Leaning closer, he bent and whispered in her ear. “We could use the extra time.”

  Part of her knew they had a lot to work out and part of her knew there weren’t enough hours left in the day to undo whatever they’d gotten themselves into. But he was right. The drive home with her mother would only produce more awkward silence while Lillian Hale studied her daughter and new son-in-law. Plastering on a social smile she rarely needed, Lexie bobbed her head. “If Mother doesn’t mind.”

  “Not at all.” Her mother’s tired smile grew a bit brighter, causing a tiny surge of panic deep in the pit of Lexie’s stomach where the tangled knots twisted a little tighter. What else could her mother be up to?

  * * *

  “Where shall we go first?” Jim slid into the driver’s seat of Lexie’s car and backed out of the parking space.

  “Wal-Mart.”

  “Clothes?”

  Lexie’s head bobbed.

  “I don’t rate a department store?”

  “Seems a terrible waste to spend money on clothes that are only going to sit in my closet for the duration of my mother’s visit.”

  He didn’t quite follow the logic, since he was also going to have to wear the clothes for the duration of her mother’s visit or his leave—whichever ended first. But fussing about where he bought a handful of t-shirts was something he could forego for now. “I need to let Billy know I’m not going to be bunking at his place.”

  “And I need to call Angela back.” Lexie pulled her phone from her purse and pointed at the light ahead. “Turn left at the corner. Wal-Mart is a few blocks away. Can’t miss it.”

  Jim changed lanes and listened to the one sided conversation, gleaning what he could about this woman at his side.

  “I never know with my mother. Last time she came for two weeks and only stayed five days when she realized she wouldn’t be able to convince me to join her on the cruise to Fiji. If I’m really lucky, now that she thinks I’m married, she’ll leave for Capri sooner than later.”

  Whatever Angela said had Lexie ducking her chin and tilting her head to hide the sudden rush of pink that flooded her tanned cheeks. He hadn’t thought her to be the sort to blush. It made her look vulnerable. And it made him all the more determined to make this mess as easy as possible on her.

  “We’re stopping at Wal-Mart for a few things and will see you soon.” Lexie nodded at whatever Angela said then added, “Me too”, and dropped the phone back in her bag. “Angela’s at Billy’s. She invited us to stop by for an after dinner drink.”

  “Glass of wine?”

  “Gallon of margaritas.”

  She’d said it with a straight face and he had to wonder if she was delivering a line or dead serious. If he had to take bets, he’d better add salt and limes to the shopping list.

  Speed shopping was apparently a long suit of his new wife. Pushing the cart through the aisles she’d shot him questions like shirt size, favorite color, shorts or slacks. He’d quickly shot back large, blue, shorts and swallowed a smile when she reached the underwear and stumbled slightly over boxers or briefs.

  “Both.”

  She dared look at him. “Both?”

  “Boxer briefs.”

  “Ah.” Her hand drew an invisible line up and down the rows as she peppered him with more questions about color, brand, and when she got to size, the rosiness returned to her cheeks. By the time she’d tossed several packages of white Fruit of the Loom 34 inch boxer briefs into the cart, she was back in uber-shopping mode. “We might need a pair of slacks if we go to dinner at one of Mother’s favorite places.”

  “Khakis or dress?”

  “Khakis will do. Inseam?” By now the question of size didn’t seem to affect her. When he said thirty-four inseam, she barely batted an eye, shifting through the few options in the men’s department and pulling out and surveying one pair.

  When she held the pants against him and lifted her eyes up and down studying the choice, he finally gave in to the urge to laugh and let out a small chuckle.

  “What?”

  “I was probably ten years old the last time anyone tried to dress me. My mother gave up when most of the clothes I’d outgrown had to be donated with the tags still on them.”

  Lexie’s brows rose high on her forehead and her eyes rounded like golf balls. “Oh, God. I’m sorry. I was just in such a hurry and it’s just for show, I didn’t—”

  “Stop.” Jim held his hand up. “If it bothered me, I would have taken over. I just found it amusing, that’s all.” He took the pants she clutched to her chest out of her hands. “These will be fine.”

  Loaded with t-shirts, shorts, underwear and other accessories, the two dueled over who would pay for the new bargain wardrobe.

  Shaking his head and pushing her credit card away from the charge machine, he slid his card through and smiled. “My clothes. My money.”

  “But this is all to fool my mother.” She tried to push the card at him again.

  “And when this is all over who keeps the clothes?” He waited for the woman behind the register to press a button and the sale to ring through.

  Lexie’s shoulder’s sagged. “I won’t need them.”

  “There you go. Our first argument settled without bloodshed.” He flashed her his best aren’t-I-adorable smile and, for the first time all night, her responding grin seemed completely sincere. Unsolicited, a memory flashed to mind of Lexie on the beach, under the light of dusk, flowers in her hair, and that beautiful smile. He’d had so much fun with her those last few hours once he’d sobered up some. She was sharp and funny and smart. Working at a dive shop didn’t fit the woman who had single handedly swept him out of his depression and into an afternoon wonderland. Or maybe it did at that.

  “Something wrong?” Lexie pushed the cart past him.

  “Just thinking.”

  “About Bridget?”

  “Hm.” He should have been. Pointing the fob at h
er car, he clicked. But unlike the last several days where his thoughts had been focused on making things better with Bridget, ever since learning about the wedding mishap, all this thoughts kept circling back to the beautiful woman beside him. His wife.

  Chapter Seven

  “Holy crap.” Billy Everrett leaned forward on the sofa seat, never releasing the hold on his fiancée’s hand. “So this wedded bliss thing is legal?”

  Lexie decided to let Jim answer that. He’d done all of the talking and explaining so far. While Angela was one of her best friends, Billy was her boss. If Jim weren’t a good friend of his, her boss would be the last person she’d want to know she’d gotten married by accident. The entire situation sounded like a bad plot for an even worse TV sitcom.

  “Looks like it. We need to get an annulment. Quickly. Yesterday would be good.” Jim sat in one chair and Lexie in the other at the opposite side of the coffee table. A huge difference from the in-your-face closeness he’d displayed for the benefit of her mother and Graham at her place and during dinner.

  If only for a few seconds here and there, she’d occasionally forgotten this was all nothing more than legal pretend. Picking out his clothes at the store had come so naturally, so easily, it was only the few times she needed to ask about size that it hit her with startling embarrassment that she was getting lost in the role.

  When the doorbell rang and Kara and Nick walked in, looking all close and cute, much the way she and Jim had probably looked for the benefit of her mother and ex, she had another startling realization. She was enjoying this role playing a little too much. Twenty minutes later, they’d repeated the entire story for a second time that night.

  “It sounds odd that a change like that would be legal.” Kara shrugged. “But in the eyes of Texas, your neighbor’s cocker spaniel could perform a wedding ceremony and if you move in together and go by the names Mr. and Mrs. Newlywed, you’d be common law spouses.”

  “You’re kidding?” Angela remained sidled next to Billy.

  “Is sharing the house as though we’re living together while my mother visits going to be a problem for the annulment?” Lexie’s heart sputtered at the thought of prolonging the inevitable.

  “I don’t think so. I’ve known people who live in the same house while they’re going through a divorce. But I will have to research the requirements for Hawaii. You need to remember a typical law school teaches majority and minority for the various areas of law. At the bottom of every page for forty-eight states there’s a footnote that reads ‘except Texas and California’. I’ve had to relearn quite a bit since moving here. Most of what I know does not apply to Hawaii and forty-seven other states.”

  Fingers entwined in her lap, in an effort to keep from fidgeting nervously, Lexie leaned forward. “What do you know about annulments?”

  “Actually, very little. I’ll have to look into it. Hopefully, this will be very simple. Hopefully.”

  Five heads bobbed at Kara’s information. Lexie could get through this. As long as she didn’t let herself forget this rabbit hole she’d fallen into was only make believe, she’d survive her accidental marriage unscathed. But could she say the same about her mother and, lord help her, her father?

  For another hour the stories went back and forth through the years. From what Lexie could piece together, Jim had replaced Nick on Billy’s team when Nick separated from the Navy. Apparently one doesn’t actually resign. Who knew?

  The guys enjoyed a few beers and because Kara was pregnant and Angela was trying, Kara made non-alcoholic margaritas. As good as they were, Lexie could have seriously used some booze. With her mother and Graham both underfoot—strong booze. She loved her mother, and as difficult as Lillian Hale could be from time to time, after a few days of shopping and lunch and a ride or two on one of the boats, they’d fall into a peaceful truce and pleasant visit until her mother’s schedule demanded she be elsewhere. It was those first few days of headknocking that always challenged Lexie.

  But, at the moment, what had her completely off kilter, more so than her mother’s visit or the accidental marriage and the need to play honeymooners for a short while, was the arrival of Graham Winston Montgomery and her mother’s sudden interest in rekindling the old flame.

  Living in Hawaii, Lexie never thought to have to see Graham again in her lifetime. Finding him on her doorstep had been unsettling. Finding that her mother had some ridiculous notion of getting them back together was beyond horrifying.

  “You ready to go?” Jim had stepped up close beside her. Quietly.

  Her bosses often did the same thing. More than a time or two, one or the other had walked up to her in the stockroom or workroom, and standing near enough to whisper in her ear had they wanted to, scared the living hell out of her when they’d finally spoken. Didn’t anyone in the Navy know how to make noise when they moved? “Yes. Mother should be sound asleep by now.”

  “Then we’d best be on our way. I have a feeling those two are anxious to be alone.” Jim’s head tilted in the direction of where Angela and Billy stood by the sink, rinsing glasses and loading the dishwasher.

  Never had she seen the task performed so smoothly by two people attached at the hip like conjoined twins. She doubted a crow bar could have separated them. “Good call. Let’s go.”

  “Want me to drive again?” Jim held out the keys for her.

  “Sure.” Just in case her mother was watching out the window for them, they might as well show up in the same driving order as when they’d left. Not that it really mattered, but somewhere in the back of her mind was the subliminal upbringing that the man in the house always drove. Silly, stupid, and ludicrous, but what about this entire situation wasn’t?

  Parked in the driveway, Jim looked at the store bags in the backseat. “Do we bring them in now or wait?”

  “We’d better wait. With my mother you never know.”

  Not surprisingly, Lexie found her front door unlocked and her mother sound asleep in bed. Her father was always the one to lock the house up at night. In her family there was the man’s job and the wife’s job, and it had never once occurred to her mother to do her father’s job when he wasn’t around. Fortunately, no Boston burglar had ever figured that out.

  “I’ll get my things.” Jim walked out the door and back in with several bags of newly bought clothes. Pausing a moment, he waited for Lexie’s permission to unpack. At least that’s how it seemed to her since she doubted he’d forgotten the way. Her place wasn’t all that big. Two bedrooms, two baths, one living, one dining, one kitchen all crowded into nine hundred square feet. He wouldn’t need a map. He had to be asking permission. And why did that make her want to smile?

  * * *

  Jim stood in the doorway. Pretend or not, moving into a woman’s bedroom made his palms sweat and his tongue swell. At his age, he’d parked a toothbrush and change of clothes at more than one woman’s home. But intentionally move in? Not him. Not even with Bridget.

  “I’ll clear out another drawer.” Lexie glanced around the room as though searching for something she couldn’t find.

  “Is there a problem?” He scanned the room for any signs of impending danger.

  Lexie shook her head and opened the two top drawers of a long dresser. “Looking for signs Mom came snooping while we were gone.”

  “Nothing?”

  Lexie hurried to the chair by the bed and grabbed up a couple of articles of discarded clothing. “No. If there’s one thing my mother cannot tolerate, it’s crawling into an unmade bed. Had she been in here and spotted that—” Her head tipped toward the rumpled sheets. “—she’d have made the bed and for good measure put the dirty laundry in the hamper.”

  “I’ll try not to leave my socks on the floor.”

  “We didn’t buy any socks.”

  Jim flashed her a knowing grin. When she caught on and smiled back, his own grin nearly split his face.

  As she rearranged her clothing, he ripped plastic, pulled tags and tape, and folded and s
tored the new purchases beside his already stowed gear. Within minutes he was as settled in as he would ever be.

  Signs of the new purchases scooped and stashed deep in the bowels of the bathroom trash can, Jim pulled the plastic bag from the container, tied a knot at the top, and turned to Lexie. “Where’s the trash go?”

  She pointed toward the front of the house. “Black can at the end of the driveway.”

  “I’ll check the kitchen trash.” If he was going to hang around the house for an as yet undetermined amount of time, he would have to find something to keep him busy. Unless required for a mission, in which case remaining in place served a purpose and a goal, sitting still was not something he enjoyed doing.

  Having retrieved one large bag of trash from the kitchen, he dumped both bags into the large garbage can as instructed and paused to look up at the night.

  Lexie walked the last few steps down the driveway. “Looking for anything in particular?”

  “Just thinking.” He returned his attention to the darkened sky.

  “You do that a lot.” She smiled. “Wondering if she’s looking at the same stars?”

  “She?”

  “Bridget.”

  “Hm. Something like that.” He’d actually been thinking about how good today had felt. The first good day in a week. Shopping, something he’d never enjoyed, had been fun with Lexie. And even a mundane task like stowing away the new goods, accompanied by Lexie’s sense of humor, had him grinning in earnest.

  “It’s going to be all right.”

  Jim cast a quick glance in her direction, took in the way her arms crossed and her hands moved back and forth in a soothing gesture. “Then why do you look like someone waiting for their turn to walk the plank?”

  Letting her arms fall to her side, she sucked in a deep breath and blew out an equally heavy sigh. “Do I look that bad?”