The next few days were murder, as I tried to ignore the almost constant throbbing of my wrist and on our first day in Vegas, the boys all went off to the casino. I’d not been invited, not that I would have gone anyway, but I spent a glorious hour relaxing in a bathtub with jets and washed, scrubbed, and removed all hairs.
I wrapped myself in my fluffy robe, plaited my thick hair, ignoring the sharp pains in my wrist as I did and twisted it up into a bun. I sat on the bed watching Divergent on the TV. My eyes drifted closed and I was so glad that it was a night off because I couldn’t cope with seeing Blake and Crystal. She was glued to his side and gave me a side eye if I went anywhere near them backstage.
I tended to stay there during sound check and interviews but disappeared during the shows. Blake acted as though I was invisible though and while he didn’t seem to be encouraging her, he didn’t seem as irritated with her as he’d told me he was when the tour started. I managed to fall into a deep sleep and slept soundly for a few hours, until someone hammering at my room door, woke me up.
Chapter Thirty-One
Explosions and Exposure
Cara
I struggled to get up and get to the door, because my body was so relaxed, but after another series of bangs, I knew I had to answer it. I could hear loud voices outside, but their words were muffled. I made my way over to the door unsteadily and made sure my robe was tightly fastened as I pulled it open.
Blake was standing there with Ry at his side and I stepped back as soon as I registered the hatred on his face. He stared at me with narrowed eyes and for a moment he didn’t speak and then he growled. Ry put his hand on Blake’s shoulder and looked at me in disgust too and I didn’t know what was going on.
“Hey guys, did you have fun at the casino?” I asked them as I tried to mask my yawn. Ry narrowed his eyes at me too. Blake growled again and stepped forward, so he was right in my face and fury rolled off him in waves.
“How could you?” he spat at me and I rubbed my eyes, confused both by his fury and his outburst.
I didn’t know what he was so angry with me about, but I’d done nothing. Nothing at all to deserve him yelling at me. I opened my mouth to tell him that, when he stepped closer again and stood toe-to-toe with me.
“How could you sell me out like that?” He shouted in my face and I shook my head because I was still groggy from the pain meds and the fact I’d just woken up.
“Blake, what?” I asked and I reached out to touch his arm and he jerked back a step furiously.
“Don’t fucking touch me. I can’t fucking believe that you told some of your journo friend’s things I told you in private. How? Why? Why would you do that to me?”
His words caused a ripple of alarm to shoot through me and I stepped towards him. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I knew it wasn’t me. I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t.
“Blake, I didn’t tell anyone anything you told me. It wasn’t me; I swear.”
He barked out a laugh and I knew he didn’t believe me. My heart pounded and tears stung my eyes, as I looked up at him and wanted to beg him to believe me.
“Did you want revenge because I didn’t kiss you? Or was it deeper than that? Was it because I took your virginity and then didn’t call you afterwards?”
His rant scared me, and I backed up a step staring at him. I tried to be calm and rational, but he was hurting me, and I’d done nothing to deserve it.
“I hope the payout was worth it. Get your shit and get the fuck off my staff. You are done. I won’t have people working for me that I don’t fucking trust and I don’t fucking trust you. You told my darkest secret to the journos and now my grandma isn’t speaking to me and Kerr is leaving the fucking band…”
He broke off breathing hard and I knew exactly what he was accusing me of telling. One night as we sat in the hotel room, I asked him if there was anything in his past, he was truly ashamed of. He gave me a wry grin before he told me about how he’d begun to get high and had ended up sleeping with Kerr’s girlfriend. She broke things off with Kerr the next day and it devastated him. Blake hadn’t told anyone, not even Ry about it and he’d never touched another drug since. He told me if he could change anything about his past, or fix one mistake, it would have been that one. I didn’t tell anyone, and I didn’t know how that story had gotten out, but it wasn’t from me.
“Blake, I didn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that to you.” I told him earnestly and I watched as he stepped further back from me as though my words were hurting him,
He glared at me and hissed through his teeth at me, as a tear fell from my eye.
“Yeah, well you the only fucking person I ever told about Krissa and me, now the whole fucking world knows. Is that why you came back into my life, so you could hurt me like I hurt you?”
His furious words tore at my chest and I took a step back from him, almost tripping over my robe, but he advanced on me, I reached the edge of the bed and felt the back of it on my knees. Ry was just standing there watching me as he went off on me.
“I fucking hate you.” He screamed, then he took a breath and stared me dead in the eyes, without blinking.
“You’ve got fifteen minutes to get your shit and to get the fuck out of my life. I. Never. Want. To. See. You. Again.”
He spun around and stormed out of the room as I sat dumbfounded on the bed, with my body shaking all over. I wanted to go after him, but he didn’t believe me. He thought I would sell him out. Another tear fell, then another and I glanced up to see Ryder still standing there. After a moment where we just stared at each other, he shook his head and went to turn away.
“It wasn’t me. I swear I didn’t do that. I wouldn’t do that to him, to any of you.” I whispered in a broken voice, as more tears began to fall.
Ryder gave me a skeptical look and I put my head into my hands.
What had just happened?
Why did he believe that it was me?
My heart was completely shattered, and I didn’t know what to do. I had a little of the money I’d made put aside but I was planning on using it to get a new place when we got back to New York, but it looked like I’d need to use it to get me home. Ryder turned and was leaving the room, when Drew and Yani appeared.
“Cara, we’re here to escort you from the premises.” Drew told me and Yani stared at me with a hard expression.
“I need some time,” I told them as my eyes darted around the room, taking in my new dress for the launch party and new shoes that I’d splurged on. My bags were over by the bathroom door with my clothes and I crossed the room towards them on shaking legs.
“We’ll wait outside.” Drew muttered, both him and Yani stepped out of the room and closed the door.
I waited until they were gone and slid down the wall near my clothes, sobbing into my hands. His face flashed between my eyes and the hatred I saw there, broke my heart in two. I couldn’t stop the tears and I didn’t try as I pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt. I grabbed my bra and panties and pulled them on, trying to hold back the sobs, then tugged my jeans and shirt on. My boots were discarded next to the door and I needed socks, which I put on, ignoring the stinging sensation in my wrist. My hands were shaking so bad as I gathered my toiletries, that I dropped and smashed the last of my perfume bottle on the floor, but I didn’t care. I just stepped over it and shoved everything into my bag. I picked my cell up and took my charging cable from the wall and shoved it into my purse. My personal cell was out of charge and was already in there. I glanced around the room, picked up my boots and sat on the bed to pull them on as the door to my room opened and I saw Crystal standing smirking at me.
“Oh dear, did someone do something naughty?” she asked, and I glowered at her.
My breath was coming in gasps and I was struggling hard to keep my tears in. She walked away with a loud laugh. I wrapped my arms around my waist, trying to hold in the pain of hearing him say he hated me and firing me, without even listening to me.
“Time t
o leave, Cara,” Yani said from the door, both him and Drew watched as I struggled to pick up my belongings.
Neither of them helped me. I guessed they believed it too. I ignored the agony in my wrist as I carried my bags out to the elevator and only winced a little, when one of them bounced on my arm.
Once we were downstairs, they walked me to the door of the hotel and nodded at the security down there. I walked outside and wandered down the strip a little, until I reached a bus stop. My legs buckled and I sat at the bus stop, shaking and shivering, as I tried to figure out my next move. I didn’t even have everything. I’d left some stuff on the bus. I took my work cell out of my purse and glanced down at it, hoping to see a missed call from Blake, but there was nothing. I quickly switched the screen off and shoved it back into the bag. I’ll deal with everything later, at least that was what I told myself. My eyes scanned the sidewalk as more tears fell, I needed a place to stay, to find somewhere to sleep. I couldn’t even check my bank balance because my personal cell was out of charge.
I walked along slowly and hoped I could find a hotel that was within my price range. After a while, I finally found a reasonable hotel and checked myself in. Once inside my new room, I quickly locked the door, dropped my bags, and collapsed onto the bed sobbing. I had no job, no money and Blake hated me. This is why I don’t let people in, I thought as my heart broke. His words repeated over and over again in my head and I let all the pain out, sobbing until my throat crackled and my stomach ached. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up confused and disorientated in the hotel room and I sat up wondering how long I’d been out. My fingers ached because I’d been sleeping on my hand and my body ached from the sobs. After a few deep breaths I sat up and realized I was starving. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten, so I decided to go out and grab a burger. I picked up my purse and emptied it onto the bed, searching for my wallet. I grabbed my atm card, shoving it into my pocket with the room key. As I was leaving the room, I caught sight of myself in the mirror.
My eyes were a red, puffy mess, my hair looked as though a bird had nested in it and my face was red and blotchy from all the tears. I couldn’t do anything about my eyes, but I gave my face a quick wash in the bathroom and twisted my hair up into a bun. I then closed my eyes for a moment as his words hit me again. My heart clenched painfully, but I shook it off and stood up staring at myself through watery eyes in the mirror. I still looked a mess, but it would have to do. I left the room and walked down the street to a burger joint, getting a burger, fries, and a soda.
My burger was tasteless, and I ended up tossing it all in the trash after a few bites. As I made my way back to the hotel room, I spotted a news stand and saw Blake’s face on the front cover of the tabloid. My feet carried me over to it and I picked up a copy, paying the stall owner, before taking off and heading back to my hotel room. Once I was safely inside, I flipped open the newspaper and read the story with my mouth open. It was a report of our private conversation and it was there word for word, for the world to see.
No wonder Blake was furious and didn’t believe me, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t know how the conversation had got out, or how to prove my innocence, but I wished he’d have believed me, instead of kicking me out without asking me about it. I spent the rest of the night with the TV on, staring at it, but not really watching anything. I put my cell on charge and turned it on, checking my personal account balance and seeing that I only had four hundred dollars in my checking account. I had two thousand in my savings, but that was it.
My head began to hurt, and my eyes blurred as I tried to figure out how to get back to Boise because I was going home to my parents. I checked out flight times, costs and found one that I was about to book, but something held me back. I had to find out who was behind this because it wasn’t fair to Blake to have someone like that around him. Someone had breached his privacy in the worst possible way and since it wasn’t me, then someone had to find out who it was.
I opened up my bank account apps and took a picture of the date, time, and balance of my personal and savings accounts. I sent a message to Yani from the work cell, with them attached and basically told him that it wasn’t me who betrayed Blake, but that someone had, and I hoped they caught whoever it was. I then turned the work cell off and booked a flight home for two days later.
I didn’t call my mom to say I was going home but I couldn’t deny I was excited to see her. It’d been ages and she wouldn’t question me or believe that I was capable of betraying someone that I cared about. I curled up into a ball and lay on the bed thinking about how much it hurt that he’d believed that I’d do that to him. I was also thinking of how much I wished he’d realize that I’d never do what he was accusing me of. I finally fell back asleep and woke up the next morning with my cell ringing.
Frankie was on the other end of the call and she was beyond furious with me. After she cussed me out for about twenty minutes, she then demanded that I go meet Yani and Drew at the tour bus and hand over my tour credentials, her mobile phone, and my iPad.
“Okay, I’ll meet them and hand them over.” I answered in a calm voice and she growled.
“Yes, you will, and FYI, you are fired. You will not be working in this industry ever again.”
All my work for all those years was ruined because someone betrayed Blake and he blamed me.
“I understand,” I told her with a catch in my voice and she seemed to get angrier.
“I just don’t understand why you would do it? Why throw all your hard work away to make a quick buck?”
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair without answering because she wasn’t far from the mark.
Why would I have done that?
Blake knew how much I enjoyed my job and how much I needed it, so why would I throw it all away to make money from him?
“I didn’t.” I told her honestly and she laughed, which caused me to bristle. “I didn’t tell anyone about any conversations I may or may not have had with Blake. I certainly wouldn’t ruin my career to make a quick buck. Since you all think so highly of me, go on and tell me exactly what I’ve gained from my apparent destruction of the life of someone, I actually care about?”
I was breathing fast and she actually laughed again. I wanted to reach through the cell and strangle her.
“Be at the plaza in one hour and make sure you have everything because you won’t be allowed back. Honestly, your feigned innocence might fool some people, but not me.”
She hung up and I stood up furious. I stomped around my room and gathered up all my notes, credentials, my cell, and laptop. I put them all in a tote bag and stormed towards the bathroom, dressing, and brushing my teeth at top speed. Once I was ready, I left and walked the forty-five minutes back to the Plaza, standing outside as security radioed for Yani and Drew.
My fury erupted as they appeared, I thrust the bag at them and turned away from them, before they could see how much pain I was really in. Or how angry I was that they didn’t believe me. I took off down the strip without speaking to either of them, eventually walking my fury off. My feet were burning because my cowboy boots were not built for this much walking and I sat at a bus stop and took some deep breaths, trying to calm down.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Broken Pieces
Blake
We’d been in the casino when Drew had called to say he’d just gotten word about an article that was being published. Everyone laughed it off, until he demanded that we all go upstairs and meet with him. When we reached the room, he told us the contents of it and all hell broke loose. Kerr pinned me to the door and refused to let me loose, until I either admitted it or denied it. When I admitted that it was true, he slammed his fist into my gut and stepped back, as I dropped breathlessly to the floor. Then he’d stormed from the room and told Ry, who tried to stop him, that he was quitting the band.
“I’m done with this shit. I’m done with all of you. How could I ever trust you again after
this?” He hissed as he stormed from the room and Doug went after him.
Drew threw the article on the table and began to pace around furiously as I moved towards it. When he first explained, I assumed Krissa had sold the story, even though she swore she wouldn’t, but when I saw my words there, it was as if my world was crashing around my ears. I was trying to stay away from Cara because every day I was with her, I was falling more and more in love with her. When I’d almost kissed her, I knew that if I did, I’d never want to stop. However, seeing the private conversation we’d shared, written in a newspaper article, brought my world to its knees.
How could she have done this?
Why would she do this?
Was it payback, because I wouldn’t push Crystal away anymore?
I needed answers, I shot up to my feet and raced to the door, to have Ry stopping me.
“Blake, the fuck?” he asked, and I spat the words at him ignoring the wave of complete anguish that swept over me and focusing on the fury I was feeling.
“I know where the leak came from. Fucking, Cara.”
Saying it out loud was worse than just thinking it and it burned my throat as tears stung at my eyes. His eyes widened and he put his hand on my chest, stopping me from moving, although I was bouncing around like a caged animal, in need of release.
“Blake, are you absolutely sure?” he asked me in a cautious voice and my eyes shot to his.
“Yes,” I breathed around the lump in my throat. “I’m fucking positive.”
I barged out of the room and stormed down the hall to the staircase. I took the stairs two at time going down the two floors until I reached the floor she was on. My eyes darted along the hallway, as I searched for her room number and when I found it, I marched towards it. My fist pounded on the door as Ry appeared by my side. I stood breathing hard, trying so hard to keep myself together as I waited on her to open it. She didn’t, so I banged again, standing there with my fist on the door as it opened to reveal her standing in a hotel robe, with sleepy eyes. Her eyes widened as she took us in, and her innocent question sent me over the edge.
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