Appeal to You (A Beyond the Cove Novel Book 3)

by Jaclyn Quinn

  Avery glanced at the framed picture on his wall. It was of the day he and Kevin had first signed the lease for this place, and they both had the biggest smiles on their faces. They’d been unstoppable back then, having no idea what would happen years later. Avery took a deep, shuddering breath and shifted his eyes to the calendar on his desk. Sunday would be one year that Kevin and Maggie were gone. The pain had lessened over the last year, but he didn’t think it would ever truly go away.

  Over the last week, he’d struggled with what he should do about Ryder. The boys were Jake and Eli’s now, and Ryder was one of their best friends. For the first time in a long time, Avery was wondering if he belonged. Things had taken a bad turn with him and Ryder, and that would only make everyone else feel awkward. He’d already skipped out on last Sunday dinner, giving Ryder a chance to be with his friends.

  He didn’t want to think about this Sunday and what the boys and Jake would be going through. You’ll be going through the same thing. Alone.

  As if it was some bad cosmic joke, Avery’s phone rang, lighting up with his mother’s name on the screen. He had a passing thought of not answering but decided he should just get it over with. “Hello?”

  “Avery, it’s your mother.”

  He laughed to himself because she always felt the need to tell him that, like he wouldn’t see her name on the caller ID or, hell, recognize his own mother’s voice.

  “I know. How are you?”

  “I’m good, dear. I’m calling to see if you’re still coming for dinner on Saturday for Henry’s birthday.”

  Damn. Forgot about that. Did he have any chance of getting out of this one? Though, going to his nephew’s birthday dinner would buy him at least a month before he had to do it again. “Yes, I’ll be there.”

  “And will you be bringing anyone along? I need to tell the cook how much prime rib we’ll need.”

  Prime rib for an eight-year-old’s birthday—how typically Hamilton of them. His mother’s tactful way of asking if he was seeing anyone hadn’t gone unnoticed, either. His family knew he was gay; oddly enough, that had never been a source of contention between them—as long as he married someone worthy of the Hamilton name. No, it was his failure to do anything “meaningful” with his life. As if working with families instead of corporations was somehow less important.

  Again, Ryder popped into Avery’s mind. What would his family think if they knew that the man Avery couldn’t stop thinking about not only designed tattoos, but was also covered in them? He laughed to himself then remembered that it didn’t much matter. Nothing was going to happen between them; Ryder had made that very clear. And wasn’t that ironic? The man had been after Avery for a year, and now that Avery was coming around, he wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe you took too long.

  Avery sighed and answered solemnly, “No, it’ll be just me.”

  Avery scrubbed a hand over his face and looked at the time on his computer. Chris would be getting home from school any minute now. He checked his calendar, but there was nothing pending that couldn’t wait until tomorrow. If he left now, he could stop in to see Chris then go next door to see the boys before Ryder got there after work.

  “Mom, I have an appointment soon. I’ll see you on Saturday.”

  “Oh, okay, dear.” She paused then added, “I look forward to seeing you. It’s been too long.”

  Avery sat stunned for a minute. She rarely said things like that to him. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, why wouldn’t it be?”

  “You just seem… Never mind; see you soon.”

  After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Avery sat and thought about the strange conversation he’d just had with his mother. He couldn’t remember the last time his mother sounded like she missed him. Maybe in avoiding his father and brother, he’d been a bit too hard on her. After all, his parents were frustrating, but he’d always been well taken care of. Never had to worry about his next meal or having a roof over his head. They’d never treated him horribly; although, he’d felt for most of his life that he wasn’t good enough. It may not have been in the same way Ryder was feeling, but it didn’t mean that it hadn’t affected him growing up.

  He took one last look at the closed door across the way. “You need to get out of this office.”

  Twenty minutes later, he was standing on Nina’s doorstep, ringing the doorbell. He always felt this feeling of warmth every time he saw Nina’s smiling face.

  “Come on in, honey.” She stepped to the side for him to enter the house. “We missed you on Sunday.”

  Avery had a feeling Nina wouldn’t let that one slide. “I, uh, had a lot of work to catch up on.” He gripped the back of his neck, letting his gaze drop to the floor.

  “No use making up stories for my sake. Ryder was just as miserable,” she quipped.

  Avery’s head shot up. “Did something happen? Is he okay?”

  Nina took both of his hands and looked up at him. “Neither one of you are okay.” She let go of one of his hands but used the other to pull him toward the kitchen. “Come on; I’ll make you some coffee, and I have some leftover blueberry pie.”

  “Nina, I just stopped in to see Chris before going to see the boys. I don’t want to take too long,” he said, but he let the small woman lead him to the kitchen to the table.

  “Nonsense. Sit.” When Avery glanced at his watch, she added, “Ryder works until seven tonight. He won’t be by until at least seven-thirty.” He sighed, knowing he’d been figured out. It was only four; he still had plenty of time. Avery sat as ordered and watched Nina walk over to the stairs. “Chris, do you want some pie?”

  “Thanks. I’ll be down in a minute, Nina.” Chris sounded…well, he sounded happy, which was becoming a regular thing lately.

  Nina turned back to Avery with an ear-to-ear grin. “He’s gotten so much better around us ever since Ryder talked to him last Tuesday.”

  “That’s right; you mentioned that Ryder had talked to him.”

  “I don’t know what he said”—Nina looked toward the stairs—“but every day, Chris gets a little more comfortable here.”

  Somehow, it didn’t surprise Avery that Ryder had managed to get Chris to open up. Why couldn’t he see how much he had to give someone? When Avery realized Nina was watching him with a curious look in her eyes, he stood up and made himself busy getting out coffee mugs.

  Chris walked into the kitchen, and his face lit up when he saw Avery. That was a first; usually only Ryder got that kind of reaction out of the boy. “Hey, Avery. Is Ryder here, too?”

  Well, that deflated his ego. He laughed to himself and said, “No. Just me, I’m afraid.”

  Chris smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “It’s just…you guys used to always be together, but you haven’t been lately.” He sat down at the table and started eating the pie Nina put in front of him, but Avery was still standing there thinking over that last statement Chris had made so nonchalantly.

  Chris was right; for as long as he knew Avery, Avery and Ryder had always been together. That was quite a difference from over the last year. Honestly, Avery had been getting used to seeing Ryder every day. How had things changed so drastically in so little time? Hell, the past year was like foreplay.

  “You’re right, but we’ve both been pretty busy.” Avery caught the look Nina was giving him that said she wasn’t buying any of it.

  “I thought maybe…” Chris began but looked unsure of what he was about to say.

  “You thought maybe what?” Avery asked gently, trying to convey to Chris that it was okay to talk to him.

  Chris shrugged. “I thought maybe you and Ryder were like Jake and Eli. Dylan and Nick said they love each other, and well, I thought you and Ryder did, too.” Then he shoveled in another bite of his pie.

  Avery sat stunned; he had no idea that he and Ryder had given Chris that impression.

  Of course, Nina took that one and ran with it. “You’re a very perceptive boy, you know that?” She gave Avery a cha
llenging look and casually threw in, “It’s a shame some adults don’t see things as simply as a child can. What could be more important than love?”

  Avery was completely dumbfounded because he had no response to that. Love should be important; it was important—but it sure as hell wasn’t easy. What exactly are you thinking? Are you falling that hard for Ryder? Avery shifted uncomfortably in his seat, reluctant to meet Nina’s eyes.

  “Thanks for the pie, Nina,” Chris said, carrying his plate to the sink, completely unaware of the confusion he’d innocently caused. “I’m gonna go work on my homework. I’ll see ya, Avery.”

  Chris quickly raced up the stairs to his room, but Avery still refused to meet Nina’s eyes.

  “Avery, what’s going on? Did something happen between the two of you?”

  He was finding it hard to answer that without breaking a confidence with Ryder. He couldn’t even avoid the elephant in the room, because the damn thing was sitting on his chest from the severity of what Ryder had told him. “Remember how I said I wasn’t the one who needed to see that Ryder is a good man? Well, I don’t think he’s ever going to see it.”

  “Give him time, sweetie. We all know this whole thing is affecting him more than probably even he thought it would.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. “Will you be over for Sunday dinner this week? It’s…going to be a hard one, but I think that’s why it’s necessary.”

  “I don’t know, Nina. I have dinner with my family on Saturday night, which always drains me.” He thought for a second. “I know Jake is going to need his friends around him, more than anything. I don’t want to make things awkward or, God forbid, have Ryder not show up because he doesn’t want to see me.” Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that much.

  “You are one of Jake’s friends, and you’re hurting, too. Let your family be there for you.”

  The ache in his chest felt too powerful to bear. Somehow, his loss was feeling compounded by everything else going on. He was hurting. Most days were better than others now that some time had passed, but sometimes being around Jake and his friends made what Avery was missing in his life more painfully obvious. He didn’t have a good relationship with his family, his best friend—who had been more like a brother to him than his own flesh and blood—was gone, and the damn man he couldn’t stop thinking about was shutting him out.

  He wasn’t one to dwell on the negative things surrounding him, but with the anniversary of Kevin’s death looming, everything was getting to him more than he wanted it to.

  “I, uh… I should go see the boys. It’s been a few days.” He hated doing that to Nina, but he needed some air.

  “All right, honey. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you.” Nina frowned sympathetically. “I just hate seeing what the two of you are doing to yourselves.”

  Avery stood up and stepped over to Nina, giving her a kiss on her temple. “I know you mean well, but I can’t make Ryder…” What? Face his demons? Want me in return? “I can’t make Ryder do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

  And that was the crux of it.

  When Avery walked into his childhood home, he couldn’t help but realize that it in no way held the warmth that Nina and Stan’s, or even Jake and Eli’s, did. Yes, it had been a safe place for him, but safe didn’t always equate to happy. There were no warm colors, no feelings of comfort or a cozy atmosphere.

  “Ah, the family crusader returns,” Chase announced when Avery entered the library. He held up a crystal glass filled halfway with red wine. “Single-handedly saving the world one fight for custody at a time.”

  “Always a pleasure, Chase.” Avery crossed the room in long strides to the antique brass bar cart. With its ornate marble statues, expensive artwork, and furniture made from Italian leather, the library was more of a showroom. He removed the stopper from the crystal decanter and poured himself a couple of fingers of his father’s best bourbon.

  “Oh, come on. It was a joke.”

  Problem was, Avery had always been a joke to his big brother. Everything was a competition: GPA, Ivy League college acceptance, higher paying job. His brother, of course, always came out the victor. Mainly because Avery didn’t care about the competition like Chase did.

  “You know there’s always a place for you in the family law firm.” Avery’s father sat in his usual black leather wingback chair, one leg crossed over the other and his hands clasped together. The pose used to intimidate Avery when he was younger. Now he found it stuffy and predictable. The shrewdness in his father’s eyes didn’t surprise Avery anymore.

  Avery sighed. “Well, that may be a new record. I’ve only been here five minutes. You usually wait at least ten for the lecture.”

  “Oh, good. Avery, you’re here.” Avery’s mother entered the library alongside Chase’s wife Deirdre, having no idea of the tension already building. “We can start dinner. Everyone to the dining room.” She waved a hand then turned gracefully and strode out into the foyer.

  “Mary,” Deirdre said to the nanny, “fetch the children and have them wash up for dinner. They’ll be eating with us tonight for Henry’s birthday.”

  How incredibly kind of them. Eating with their son on his birthday. Avery held in the snide comment, even though his sister-in-law’s statement only solidified that these people had about as much warmth as an iceberg. Jake and Eli would never even think to miss meals with the boys unless they couldn’t get out of work. Even that was a rare occasion, though. It was one of the most important parts of their day. Never mind Sunday dinner when the whole family got together. A pang of sadness overcame Avery, wondering if he was truly part of that family, because the truth was, he wanted to be. Regret washed over him for missing last Sunday’s dinner, but it had been the right thing to do.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Mary responded and hurried up the stairs.

  By the time dinner began, Avery was reminded why Chase and Deirdre’s children didn’t eat with them. Their manners were severely lacking, as was Mary’s ability to control them. Who could blame the young woman when Chase and Deirdre undermined her authority at every turn? Henry and his younger brother James knew they could get away with anything. And they did.

  “But I don’t like that!! Why can’t we have chicken fingers?” Henry whined.

  “Because Caroline didn’t make chicken fingers,” Avery’s mom responded, and her timid tone reminded Avery of when she spoke to his father.

  “So? Why can’t she make them now? It’s my birthday!” The kid had a point, but Avery wouldn’t side with him when he was being completely rude, especially to his grandmother.

  “Henry, honey,” Deirdre began, “you can have whatever you want, but it will take a bit for Caroline to make them. Is that what you want, sweetheart?”

  “When will I get my presents? You promised I would get presents when we came here.” The eight-year-old was kneeling on his chair, scowling at his mother. Of course, Chase said nothing of the way his son was speaking to her or their mother.

  “And you will, honey. Wait until you see how many.” Deirdre smiled at her child, who was still sulking. “Mary, take Henry and James up to watch television, and please tell Caroline on your way to make the children chicken fingers and french fries.”

  Avery couldn’t hold back the humorless laugh. “Unbelievable.” He couldn’t fathom how they thought this behavior was acceptable. Jake and Eli would never put up with this.

  “Do you have something to say, Avery?” Chase questioned, and Avery already knew this was going to go up in flames really quickly, because he just couldn’t contain the glare aimed at his older brother.

  He waited for the boys to be led out of the dining room before answering, “Yes, actually. How can you let them talk that way to their mother and grandmother? Does it make you proud to know you’re raising your children to be selfish brats?”

  Deirdre gasped, putting a hand on her chest. Of course, all she could hear was the comment about her children but completely disregarded their lack of respect for her.r />
  Avery leveled his brother with a look of disgust. “Do you know how many children go without food or a warm place to sleep? Do you know how many children would love to have even a fraction of what your spoiled kids have?”

  “Oh, spare me the holier-than-thou speech, Avery,” Chase sneered. “You’ve gone soft. No wonder the only cases you can handle are getting deadbeat fathers to fork up money for their baby mamas. Is that the right term? I’m not as up with the trash lingo as you are.” Avery stared down at his plate, taking deep breaths so as not to jump across the table and throttle his poor-excuse-for-a-brother. Chase chuckled. “Oh, and let’s not forget, champion for a tattoo junkie and his equally pathetic boyfriend. You must be so proud. Tell me, how’d that turn out? Or are those the children in desperate need of food and shelter?”

  “Chase!” their mother admonished.

  That was Avery’s breaking point. He stood up so fast his mother’s expensive chair fell back, just missing the antique china cabinet behind him. He thought he saw his mother flinch, but the anger flowing through him made it impossible for him to see anything but red.

  “You leave them out of this.”

  “Well, that hit a nerve. I suppose I’m right then?” Chase smirked, raising a challenging eyebrow.

  “You have no idea what they’ve been through,” Avery said through gritted teeth. “Jake and Eli love those children more than anything else in this world. And they would never, never let them behave the way your children just have. Kevin would be—” He stopped himself, refusing to share such personal emotions with these people. Kevin’s memory was too important to be tainted in such a way.

  He looked around the table at the faces of his insensitive family, aside from his mother who was looking at him with immense compassion—which, again, took Avery by surprise. These people were not his family; not in the way that counted. And now he may have lost the only true family he ever had all because he’d pushed Ryder too hard. His heart ached with a sense of loss.