Appeal to You (A Beyond the Cove Novel Book 3)

by Jaclyn Quinn

  “That won’t happen to Chris. He has people in his corner now. We won’t let that happen. We have to believe there are more people like Nina and Stan out there. Not everyone is in it for the money. I truly believe that.” Avery took Ryder’s hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it.

  Ryder lifted his head up and looked down at their hands. He slid his fingers over Avery’s palm and up his forearm, caressing his flawless skin. Not sure if he wanted to go there, but feeling compelled to do so, Ryder slid his hand back down to Avery’s fingers. Slowly, Ryder moved them over the scorpion tattoo on his left forearm. “I know you’ve probably felt these.” He brushed Avery’s fingers over the circular, raised skin. “And you being you, haven’t asked me about them.”

  Ryder’s heart was beating so damn hard and his palms were clammy, but he had to do this now. He reached behind his head, grabbing his T-shirt in a fist, and took it off. Taking Avery’s hand again, he skimmed his fingers over each tattoo that hid Ryder’s painful past. “The first home I went into when I was eleven, I felt like I was invisible; no one even cared I was there. Little did I know I would be praying to be invisible a year later. I was twelve when I went into that place.” He met Avery’s eyes. “You already know what happened there. That’s a scar that doesn’t show on the outside but, instead, stained a shame-filled blackness in my soul. It was something taken from me; something I couldn’t take back.

  “I went to several homes after that, traded sexual abuse for physical abuse, and prayed for the day I would turn eighteen.” He held Avery’s forefinger over another tattoo. “Cigarettes hurt like a bitch, but I realized the more upset I got, the more it fed their sick need to hurt me. So, I stopped crying and breathed through the pain.” Ryder chanced looking up at Avery who was staring at him intently with red-rimmed, glistening eyes.

  Slowly, he brought Avery’s hand over to his left forearm again, tracing another tattoo. “That’s when I started using pain as an escape.” The consecutive, faint lines on his arm were lines he used to wear like battle scars. “Discovering tattooing was what saved me. I could modify my body, cover those scars that were forced on me, but also cover the ones I’d branded myself with as a way to cope. I could express myself artistically, still get the endorphin rush of the needle against my skin, but have it be only for me.” He hung his head. “Probably doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense,” Avery said softly. “Every single one of those scars only prove to me even more how strong you are. You’re a survivor.”

  “I won’t let Chris go through any of that,” he growled, knowing without a doubt, it was the truth. No one was going to hurt that sweet kid.

  Avery leaned in and kissed Ryder. “I won’t, either.”

  Ryder sat up, lifting his body until he straddled Avery. Their mouths met, and Avery immediately opened for Ryder. Tongues danced, wet and hot against each other. Ryder rocked his hips, rubbing their growing erections together. He felt safe in this man’s arms. The fact that Avery saw him, really saw him, and still wanted to be with him was something he never thought he’d get from anyone.

  For once in his life, he was going into something being completely open about who he was. He didn’t have to hide anything from Avery, and it gave Ryder a freedom he’d never experienced before.

  Quickly, they both undressed; Avery smiled when he sat back down on the couch, pointing to the bottom of the coffee table. Ryder leaned down and found condoms and lube then laughed, turning back to see Avery’s sexy smirk.

  But seeing Avery sitting in front of him, naked and waiting on Ryder’s next move, sent a shockwave of lust through him. Ryder dropped the lube and condom down on the cushion and straddled Avery’s lap again. He gripped the sides of Avery’s neck and hung his head back, groaning the second their bare cocks settled next to each other.

  His hips had a mind of their own as they began to move. He met Avery’s gaze again, saw the intensity in his eyes, and devoured him in another kiss. Ryder patted the cushion next to them, his hand finally landing on the lube bottle and condom.

  He handed the condom to Avery, no words spoken as he got up on his knees and got himself ready. He had let the man see his innermost demons, his memory-polluted mind, his damaged heart…now he wanted him deep inside his body with no space between them.

  Ryder breathed a sigh of relief as he lined Avery up, guiding him in. Avery’s skin flushed as his body moved. They were transfixed on each other, moving together like they were made for this.

  A darkness that was so thick Ryder thought it impenetrable was being taken apart with every thrust. Every inch Avery slid inside him felt like light breaking through that blackened stain within; every deep journey broke through another opaque layer.

  But it was when Avery lifted Ryder’s left arm, kissing the raised imperfections, that Ryder felt light bursting out of him in the form of a choked whimper. He clung to Avery, wrapping his arms around him, and listened to Avery’s strained voice as he said over and over again, “I got you.”

  “Jesus Christ. Yeah, you do.” You really fucking do.

  Their movements became frantic, skin glistening with sweat. Ryder took Avery’s mouth again and reached between them, wrapping his own cock in a hot, firm hold. Avery grunted as he immersed himself over and over again inside Ryder’s overheated body. Ryder went first, riding out the spasms overtaking him. White bursts of light blinding him, pleasure coursing through him. When he felt Avery let go, Ryder felt, for the first time in his life, like he was floating with absolutely nothing weighing him down.

  Calmness swept over him, knowing Avery would be there to make sure he didn’t drift away completely.

  Ryder sat in the shop, staring out the window. He used to hate days when his book was empty. It left him too much time to think about things he didn’t want to think about. Lately, though, he didn’t mind the thoughts running through his mind.

  Avery naked on the bed. On the couch. On the balcony. In the shower.

  Yup, pretty much just naked, all the time.

  Okay, so his smile and laugh and all those other sappy-as-hell things were pretty damn amazing, too.

  His phone started ringing on the counter, and there was that sappy-as-hell reaction when he saw Avery’s name on the screen. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself. Are you busy?” Avery sounded off somehow…tired.

  “What’s wrong?” Was it something with Chris? With Nina?

  Avery sighed. “Nothing’s wrong. Not really. I just…got a phone call from my mom, reminding me that it’s my father’s birthday this weekend. I made up some excuse as to why I couldn’t go, but I could hear the disappointment in her voice. She’s been really trying lately.”

  “Shit. So, what are you gonna do?”

  “Go, I guess. Ignore the constant reminders that I’m a failure.”

  “Fuck that, Avery. You’re anything but a failure.” What the hell was wrong with those people? How could they not see what an amazing man Avery was? “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “You’d do that?”

  Damn, this had really been a one-way street if he didn’t think Ryder would do that for him.

  “Yeah, why not? I’d love to see Daddy’s face when he gets a load of my tats and piercings. Happy birthday to him. Pissing off your brother would just be a bonus.”

  Avery barked out a laugh. “I’d certainly love to see that, but I’d really just love to have you there.”

  “Then I’ll be there.” It was worth it to ease Avery’s mind, even though Ryder was most definitely going to be out of place.

  “I’m still picking you up, right? Figured we could stop by and see Chris and Nina.”

  “Actually,” Ryder replied, “you can come a little earlier if you want. I’m bored out of my fucking mind today.”

  “See you in an hour then?” Avery sounded more like himself now, and damned if that didn’t boost Ryder’s pride that he’d been the reason.

  “Sounds good.”

  A
little over an hour later, Ryder and Avery walked up the path to Nina’s door. As he rang the doorbell, his phone started ringing in his hand. “It’s Nina,” he said to Avery just as the door opened. Nina stood there, phone to her ear and concern paling her pretty face. Ryder watched as she lowered the phone, flicking nervous glances toward the living room. “Hey. What’s up?”

  “Um…I think you should come in. Chris’s caseworker is here.” Her voice trembled as she stepped back to let them in. “Stan took Nick and Dylan over to their house to give Chris some privacy.”

  Ryder was growing increasingly anxious, and it looked like Avery was feeling the same. Ryder quickly walked into the living room—and froze. Chris sat on the couch, head hung, but even then, Ryder could see the kid was upset. “What’s going on?”

  “They can’t find any relatives of Chris,” Nina said from behind them, her voice cracking.

  Panic, fierce and immeasurable, raced through Ryder. Would they take Chris away? Put him in another home? Would Ryder ever see him again?

  “Chris, are you okay?” Avery asked, taking Ryder by the hand to lead him into the living room.

  Chris shrugged, wiping a tear from his freckled cheek.

  It was the caseworker JoAnn who spoke up. “We’re going to need to set up a permanency plan for Chris. Mr. and Mrs. Lockmere have agreed to let Chris stay here, but we’ll need to find him a home with intent to adopt.”

  Ryder took a step forward. “Tell me you’re not gonna take him outta here and put him with strangers. No way!”

  “Ryder,” Avery said, pulling on Ryder’s arm. Avery shook his head like he was telling Ryder to shut the hell up, and he knew he should, but he was so damn angry. The only thing he could do was leave the room.

  Ryder stormed into the kitchen and stared absently out the window over the kitchen sink. Would the state actually remove Chris from a perfectly fine home and put him someplace else? They couldn’t be that blind, could they? He ran a hand over his scorpion tattoo and knew the answer to that one.

  Several minutes later, he jumped when hands landed on his shoulders but then sank back into Avery’s chest when he realized it was him. “You okay?” Avery asked softly.

  “I have no idea how to answer that. I’m completely fucking helpless in all this, and it’s killing me. That kid deserves so much better.” Ryder’s voice cracked on the last word. There was a comfort in knowing he didn’t have to hide his emotions from Avery.

  “I feel the same way.” Avery turned Ryder around, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “The caseworker left.”

  “How is he?” He hated how broken Chris had looked in that living room.

  “He probably could use a friend right now.”

  Ryder rubbed the back of his neck and blew out a heavy breath. “Yeah. I’ll go talk to him.” Even though he had no clue what to say.

  “Have either of you seen Chris?” Nina asked from the doorway.

  “What do mean? You can’t find him?” Ryder suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe.

  “I stepped outside for a second to talk to the caseworker, but when I came back in, Chris wasn’t in the living room anymore.” Nina rung her hands together, her voice quivering. “He’s not in his bedroom, either.”

  Ryder pushed around Avery out into the foyer, racing up the stairs as he called out Chris’s name, but the kid wasn’t there. He checked every room, his stomach sinking further every time he came up empty.

  Jogging back down the stairs, he knew as soon as he saw Avery’s face that he wasn’t going to like what he had to say. “The backdoor was open, his school books are on the floor in front of the door, but his backpack is gone. So is his jacket.”

  “Shit!” Ryder ran his hands through his hair, gripping the strands tightly. “Oh my God. This is my fault. I never should’ve said that in there! Like the kid wasn’t scared enough before I said all that!”

  “Hey!” Avery crossed the room to Ryder in a few long strides and cupped his face in his hands. “This isn’t helping him right now. We have to find him before it gets dark.”

  Ryder nodded his head but could feel himself shaking. Everyone moved around him. He could hear Avery on the phone telling Jake what was going on and to keep a lookout for Chris, but it sounded like they were all far away. Jesus, what did I do?

  Avery took Ryder’s face in his hands and kissed him. “This isn’t your fault, so don’t even go there.” Ryder met his eyes, but Avery shook his head in response. “You only voiced what we all were thinking.” He kissed Ryder softly. “But right now, we have to find Chris, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  They all left the house within minutes; Ryder and Avery took Avery’s car while Nina went next door to tell Stan what was going on.

  “He couldn’t have gotten that far, right?” Ryder rubbed his clammy palms on his jeans, trying and failing not to the freak the fuck out. He didn’t realize until that very moment how much weight had been lifted off his shoulders when Nina and Stan had taken Chris in. Knowing that he was out there by himself again terrified him even more now.

  After taking a trip once around the neighborhood, Avery turned left onto Ocean Avenue. He was going in the direction of Ryder’s place, but they really had no clue which direction to go in. “I don’t think so, but who the hell knows.” Avery slammed on his brakes and hit his hand against the steering wheel. “Are we going to hit every damn red light?”

  Ryder reached over and took Avery’s hand. “Okay, we need to calm the hell down. We’ll find him.”

  Avery glanced over at Ryder and nodded, linking their fingers. “I think we should park at your place, and we can check the area near the boardwalk on foot.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  They parked and walked to the boardwalk, checking some of the same places they’d gone to the first time they’d looked for Chris. It felt like that had happened years ago, instead of a month and a half. And just like the first time, he was nowhere to be found.

  “Damn, this kid really knows how to disappear,” Ryder mumbled. “Where the hell could he be? You don’t think he’d go back to The Pit, do you?”

  “I don’t think so. That place seemed to sufficiently scare him.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Ryder stopped and looked up and down the boardwalk then out to the water. “Let’s check the beach.” He headed for the stairs with Avery behind him. After the first few steps on the sand, he remembered why no one wore shoes on the beach.

  They checked under the first set of stairs but came up empty. When they got to the third one, Ryder thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. He stopped, hitting the back of his hand on Avery’s chest. “Is that him?” It had to be.

  Ryder and Avery slowly approached him, as if he’d run like a scared animal. He was sitting on the sand underneath the wooden stairs; his arms were wrapped tightly around his legs, his knees pulled to his chest, and his head down. But the brown curls were unmistakable, as was the soft crying coming from him.

  “Chris?” Ryder was only a few feet away now, so he knew Chris had to have heard him, but he kept his head down. “Chris, it’s gonna be okay.”

  “No, it won’t!” he yelled through choked sobs. “They’re gonna take me away. I have nowhere else to go.” Swiping tears off his cheeks, he whispered, “I don’t have anybody.”

  “That’s not true, Chris. I was so stupid to say all that.” Ryder sat down on one side of Chris while Avery sat on the other.

  “Why? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Chris wiped his nose on the sleeve of his sweatshirt, still hiccupping from his sobs.

  “I have no idea what will happen. I got scared and mad and I mouthed off like I always do.” Ryder felt fiercely protective of this kid, to the point that he’d lost his fucking filter and scared the kid even more. I’m so not cut out for this.

  “I see how much Jake and Eli love Dylan and Nick. I get so jealous, ya know? Like…just wishing someone…” His words trailed off, and he put his head back down.
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br />   “…wishing someone would love you, too,” Ryder finished for him. When Chris lifted his head and nodded, Ryder added, “I know what that feels like. I’d see the kids in school when their parents would come and pick them up. They all looked so happy, and I was jealous as hell—heck, I mean.” Avery smiled at Ryder’s pathetic attempt to cover his slip-up.

  “What if whoever they put me with doesn’t let me hang out with you?” Ryder must have paused too long because Chris tried to get up. “I knew it. I’m not going. I’ll run away again; this time where no one can find me.”

  “Chris—”

  Ryder tried to stand but lost his footing the second Chris yelled out, “Why can’t I stay with you and Avery? I promise I’ll stay out of the way. I won’t eat too much. I’ll do my homework and get good grades.” He was sobbing again, and Ryder pushed to his feet and pulled Chris into his arms.

  “Jesus, kid, stop. Stop thinking you’re not good enough the way you are.” Ryder’s eyes lined with tears, and while he held Chris, Avery went behind Ryder and held him. Ryder let the tears fall, his heart aching with the pain of knowing exactly how Chris was feeling. “Stop feeling like you’re not worth being loved. Stop thinking you have to prove to us that you’re a good kid. We know it. And you know what? We love you just the way you are.”

  Chris’s arms tightened, his cries getting heavier again. “Do you really mean that?”

  Avery was stunned—by the words Ryder had said, by the love he was showing Chris, and the fact that Chris almost didn’t believe it.

  “Yeah, I mean it. Nina and Stan are worried sick about you.” Ryder looked back over his shoulder. “Actually, one of us needs to let them know so they don’t go out looking.”

  “I’m on it,” Avery replied.

  As he pulled his phone out, he heard the disbelief in Chris’s voice when he whispered, “They were really worried about me?”