Villains Don't Do Time! (Night Terror Book 6)

by Mia Archer

  "See what I mean?" I said with a grin. “All it took was some brains, not brawn, to get through to your pretty little neck!”

  "I hate you," she growled, though it was more like she choked it out. After all, I was crushing her windpipe at the moment. Well, almost crushing her windpipe at the moment. Just enough to really get her attention.

  "That's all well and good," I said. "Because the feeling is sort of mutual right now."

  I leaned in closer. This seemed like a moment for leaning in. I wanted this to be nice and intimate as I told her exactly what I thought of her.

  "I want you to know something. You’re nothing. Without Fialux around to help you out you wouldn't have pulled off half the stuff you’ve accomplished since you got here. I beat back alien invasions like the bullshit you brought down on my city all the time. The only reason you got as far as you did is you used the surprise of turning my girlfriend against me to beat Night Terror. You did it once, but never again."

  I let go. Threw her back.

  "What are you…"

  I raised my wrist blaster. Her eyes went wide and she held her hands up like she thought crossed arms in front of her body would be enough to ward off whatever I was about to do to her.

  Hey, it worked for Ultraman. Unfortunately it wasn’t going to work for her. I fired, and she disintegrated. Her scream hung in the air, but it didn't matter. She was gone.

  I looked up to the various cameras hanging over the arena. I pulled up SCNN on my heads up display and saw that some enterprising journalist had decided to carry the ultimate gladiatorial fight out to the whole world.

  So I threw my hands out again. Hey, you try resisting using the line when you’re in a similar situation.

  “Are you not entertained?”

  One of the cameras focused in on me and I couldn’t help myself. I threw my head back and let loose with a villainous cackle. A little something to let the world know that Night Terror was back, bitches, and there’d be no prisoners taken from here on out.

  Sabine had committed one of the key blunders behind getting involved in land wars in Asia and getting involved with a Sicilian when death was on the line.

  She'd fucked with Night Terror, and she’d just learned why that was a bad fucking idea.

  30

  Evacuation

  "Do we have her CORVAC?" I asked.

  "Affirmative, mistress," he said.

  "Anything interesting in the scans?”

  "Nothing as of yet," he said. "But scans are ongoing."

  "And what about the situation with Fialux?” I asked.

  "I am having some difficulty with her,” he said. "It would appear that she has commanded most of the alien invasion force to join in the fight and attempt to ‘take me out,’ as you humans put it.”

  "Not surprised there," I said. "Anything you can't handle?"

  "I assumed this was a suicide mission for the giant death robot from the outset, so no."

  "Good man," I said.

  "Did you have any plans to join this fight, mistress?" CORVAC asked.

  I thought about that. Going out there and mixing it up with Fialux and a bunch of aliens would be nice and therapeutic after all the bullshit I’d had to put up with over the past few weeks.

  I pointed my arm up and blasted a hole in the stadium. I'm sure when all this invasion business was said and done somebody was going to be pissed off and there’d be a hell of an insurance bill.

  That was assuming they had a rider that included alien invasions that resulted in the arena being taken over to host a superpowered gladiator arena. Stranger things had happened in Starlight City and been written into policies before. One of the biggest employers of comic book writers outside of the actual comic book and entertainment industry was insurance companies where they came up with new and inventive scenarios that the underwriters then used to gouge people silly enough to remain in Starlight City.

  I flew up and stared across the city. Particularly at the spot where there was a giant sphere that bore more than a passing resemblance to a certain mobile lair that was constantly bedeviling four mutated reptiles with a predilection for the martial arts. The thing was close enough that somebody might be able to go after CORVAC for a trademark violation if they could ever figure out where to send the cease and desist letter.

  Which was one of the joys of being associated with one of the most powerful villains in the world. Or half of one of the most powerful villainous duos in the world, if I was being totally honest. Villainy meant never having to say "sure I’ll comply with the terms of this cease and desist."

  "You know what," I said. "I think I'm going to sit this one out."

  "Mistress?" CORVAC asked.

  "I need to make a quick stop by my old cell to check on some things, and after that I'm going to head back to the lab and see what’s on the slab.”

  “I shiver with anticipation mistress,” CORVAC said.

  “As you should. It’s time to try and figure out exactly what makes this Sabine woman tick.”

  "Are you certain?" CORVAC asked. "We might be able to defeat Fialux with our powers combined."

  I smiled and shook my head. The electronic jerk probably didn't even realize he was quoting a classic of late ‘80s and early ‘90s cartoon cinema. And he never appreciated it when I pointed out those accidental quotes, so I kept my mouth shut.

  "If I’ve learned anything from this experience, it's that I shouldn't go in all half cocked. I let my emotions get the best of me the last time I fought her. We need to be methodical about this. We need to figure out exactly how we're going to take her on and rescue her from whatever it is that turned her into… This."

  I couldn't tell whether CORVAC approved or not, but I was beyond the point of caring about whether or not I had his approval.

  "Affirmative, mistress," he finally said. "I will endeavor to keep her occupied for as long as possible, and continue to run diagnostic scans on Sabine."

  "You do that," I said. I allowed myself a smile. "You should've seen the look on her face. She had no idea I had a teleporter setting on my wrist blaster. It was great!"

  “I saw it through the recorders in your contacts, mistress,” CORVAC said.

  “Oh, right,” I said. “Gonna have to remember that in the future.”

  It wouldn’t do for him to catch me in an embarrassing moment. Like, say, if I was in the middle of entertaining a guest. Though given the way things were going with my love life lately it didn’t look like I was going to be doing any sort of entertaining any time soon.

  For the briefest of moments I was tempted to fly over to SuperMax, but then I decided flying over the city probably wasn't a great idea. I didn't want to draw any unwanted attention, after all, and any attention from Fialux that didn't involve her duking it out with CORVAC was the unwanted variety.

  So I activated my teleporter, which I could totally use now that the teleportation interdicter at SuperMax was shut off.

  I rematerialized at the front entrance where villains and heroes alike were moving out of the facility in a steady stream. The warden stood in front, a tablet in hand, checking people off as they walked past.

  Say what you will about the guy being a turncoat quisling who was willing to sell some of his people down the river if it meant keeping his cushy job, but he was certainly organized. Then again some of history’s biggest assholes had been pretty well organized, so it’s not like this guy being organized came as much of a surprise.

  "How's it going?" I asked.

  The warden jumped. Wheeled around and looked at me. His hand went to his side as though he was reaching for a weapon, but there was no weapon there.

  "Night Terror," he said. "Did your distraction work?”

  "It's working for the moment," I said. "Which is to say that Fialux might defeat the giant robot I sent after her at any moment, so you need to get a move on."

  "This should be the last of the guests leaving our facility," he said. "Though I'm not sure where we’r
e going to go from here, or what we’re going to do once the new authorities realize everyone has escaped this facility."

  I grinned a huge grin. "That's the beauty of this plan. You're all going to die!"

  Maybe all the villainous things I'd been doing lately were enough to make the good warden think I was completely serious. I’d intended it to be a fun little joke, but from the way he turned red and started sweating he didn't take it that way.

  "What?" he said, panic touching his voice. "But why would you have everyone escape if you were only going to…"

  "Relax warden," I said. "There's going to be an unfortunate incident where SuperMax is blown sky high because of a faulty reactor. That's all."

  "What do you…"

  "I hope you were serious when you said everyone is out of there," I said. "Because I'm out of time and fucks to give about anyone who might be hanging around in there when they're not supposed to be."

  I hit a sequence on the old wrist computer and accessed the subroutines that controlled the reactor that powered SuperMax. My wrist computer. Not the cheap knockoff created by Dr. Lana Stealing My Shit Enterprises.

  Soon enough I was rewarded with a nice little flashing red light that told me it wasn't going to be long before the reactor powering SuperMax, because of course they used a reactor to power things when they could've just plugged into the city grid, was about to go seriously critical.

  "Your jail is about to become a radioactive crater in the ground," I said. "Say goodbye."

  "But I left my stuff in my office," the warden said. "My car keys. My autographed picture of Andre Gregory…"

  "I'll tell you what warden," I said, clapping him on the back. "If the world ever manages to get back to normal? I’ll help you get back all the stuff you lost in that explosion, but for now we need to get the hell out of here."

  I moved the countdown to demolition to the heads up display in my contact lenses. I hadn't bothered with a mask this time around. The entire fucking city had seen my face when I went into that arena. What was the point in trying to do the whole incognito thing now?

  "Everybody better book it," I said, raising my voice and addressing the crowd streaming past us. "Because we’re about to see one hell of an earth shattering kaboom, and it's going to take all of you with it if you don't get the hell out of here!"

  Villains and heroes alike, all of them looking just a tad shellshocked by their experience in SuperMax, turned and looked at the facility. Though of course there wasn't anything terribly dramatic going on that would let someone know the entire place was about to be converted into a historical reenactment of Hiroshima or Nagasaki circa 1945.

  "Get a move on people!" I shouted, holding my wrist blaster up and firing off a few shots to set the appropriate mood.

  Everyone had been moving out in a somewhat orderly evacuation. Now all of that was over though. They started running. Disappearing into the surrounding city. It seemed a little odd to have a facility like this smack dab in the middle of the city where villains could go right back to causing trouble when they got out, but I hadn't been on any of the planning committees when they created this place. I hadn't even been born yet. I wouldn't be an itch in my father's balls for a couple of decades when they started planning this place.

  Not to mention I was pretty sure this whole facility had been out in the boonies when they put it together and then overtaken by urban sprawl. Not even a little bit of supervillainous NIMBY had been enough to stop the inexorable spread of the Starlight City suburbs.

  "You need a ride, warden?" I asked when the old dude refused to move his ass and instead stayed planted firmly in front of his life’s work staring with his mouth hanging open. Finally he shook his head and looked at me as though he was seeing me standing there for the first time.

  “Yes. That would be nice Miss Terror," he said.

  "Right," I said. "By the way, did Ron get out?"

  "He did," the warden said as I grabbed him under the armpits and lifted.

  Sure it wasn't exactly as graceful as, say, flying through the air with Margot Kidder, but anyone with an understanding of how airflow and gravity works around a person flying through the air with nothing but a superpowered individual next to them to provide lift understands just how ridiculous that scene was. Much easier to lift the good warden like a sack of potatoes.

  Though I couldn't speak for whether or not he was having an internal monologue about whether or not I could read his mind. Considering the look on his face there was a pretty good chance he was too terrified to think about much of anything but how much he didn’t want me to drop him.

  I flew to the top of the tallest nearby building. Set the good warden down and turned to have a look at my handiwork.

  "Isn't this a little close?" the warden asked, sounding just as nervous now as he had when I was flying him through the air.

  "Maybe," I said, clapping him on the shoulder. "But I have shielding and inertial compensators built into my suit that should be able to handle a blast if it ends up being bigger than I anticipated. It's a risk I'm willing to take."

  The color drained from the warden’s face. The meaning clearly wasn't lost on him, but he merely stood and put his hands behind his back. Stared down at the facility as though he was willing to accept his fate if the impending explosion did turn out to be bigger than I’d anticipated.

  Of course I was full of shit. I was simply having a little fun with the good warden. Making him sweat a little before the fireworks show.

  There wasn't a chance it could hurt us from this distance, but I figured I owed him a couple of minutes of sweating bullets for his part in the whole SuperMax fiasco. Maybe he hadn't been happy about collaborating, but he had backed the current regime in some small way and made some of the deaths in that gladiatorial arena possible.

  The blinking red indicator showing when the reactor was to go critical turned solid red.

  "You might want to cover your eyes," I said.

  I didn't bother. My contacts went dark as soon as they detected the flash. Sure it was low yield nuclear, but it was still nuclear. When the contacts moved back to normal there was a small mushroom cloud rising over a giant crater where SuperMax had been just moments ago.

  I can't say I was very sorry to see it go.

  31

  Home Again

  "So many years of my life," the warden whispered. "Years trying to create a safe haven for villains…"

  "Well it's a noble sentiment and everything," I said. "But looks like you're going to be starting over from square one. Nothing wrong with that."

  Though honestly I couldn’t imagine starting from square one with my own lab. I’d spent years putting that thing together and making sure everything was perfect. It brought to mind the way my dad had been when it came to putting things together for his precious finished basement.

  Ask him to do anything for the house above ground level and he’d either space it or drag his feet to the point it almost wasn’t worth asking him in the first place. Which might’ve been the whole point of him acting like that in the first place.

  If he wanted to do a project for that basement, though? It was done in an instant. It was the same way with me and my lab. I’d spent years putting it together and making sure everything was perfect, and I shivered to think of losing the place.

  That must’ve been about how the warden felt right about now.

  The warden sighed as he watched the small mushroom cloud rising into the sky. I was proud of that mushroom cloud. I’d managed to get the calculation almost precisely correct. Not too big and not to small. Just right.

  At least as much as the phrase “just right” can be applied to a cloud of radioactive dust rising over the city. That was going to mess with the cancer statistics just a bit in a few decades, but given the life expectancy in the middle of an alien invasion it was probably the least of the epidemiologists’ worries right now.

  It helped that I was something of an old hand when it came to blowing
up reactors. My experience had started accidentally, but I'd gotten pretty good at it, if I did say so myself. I'm not saying that's the kind of thing I would necessarily put on a super villainous resume or anything, but I had to admit that it came in handy in this case, at least.

  Also? That mushroom cloud would draw attention. Which meant it was totally time to exit, stage left, as they said.

  "So do you want me to give you a lift home or something?" I asked.

  "I suppose," the warden said with a sigh. "At least I'll have some more time to spend with the wife and kids for a little while."

  "There you go," I said. "Always look on the bright side of life and all that, right?"

  The warden surprised me by whistling the next part of that tune. My face split into a grin. Yeah, I'd thought this guy was a huge asshole the first time I laid eyes on him, but the more I got to know him the more I like this dude.

  "That's the spirit!" I said, hooking my arms under his. "Now let's get the hell out of here before Fialux notices a giant mushroom cloud and comes to investigate.”

  We flew up into the skies, and I only got lost a couple of times along the way. It turns out directions got a little more difficult from the air when entire swathes of the city had been razed by an invading alien army making the whole map look very different than it did when I went into the clink.

  That wasn’t the only change either. For some reason there was a massive shield over the goddamn Applied Sciences Department at Starlight City University. I could only assume Sabine had told the aliens what wonders that place held and they’d put it under lock and key.

  Eventually the warden was dropped off to a very grateful wife. I could see SCNN coverage of the mushroom cloud that’d been SuperMax when she opened the door to a modest ranch house in a neighborhood that’d been the swank suburbs once upon a time, but had long since become a working class haven as the swank suburbs moved farther out.