Heaven's Loss (Hell Yeah!)

by Sable Hunter

  Before she could enter the bay area, he was there. “Great!” Taking Seren by the hand, he brought her just outside the studio entrance. “Shut your eyes and I’ll lead you in. There are two things I want you to see. I hope you like them, I think they’re my best work.”

  The big man’s excitement was contagious. She loved to see him like this. Smiling. Carefree and joyous. After closing her eyes, she squeezed his hand. “I’m ready.”

  “Okay, just hold on to me. I don’t want you to stumble.” He led her carefully up a couple of stone steps and into the studio. “Hold on just a second, let me adjust the light. I want this to be perfect.” After a brief moment, he was back. “Okay, here’s the first one. What do you think?”

  Holding her breath, she opened her eyes and immediately gasped, “Oh, Canyon. It’s beautiful!” Unable to keep from touching his creation, she knelt by the most beautiful baby crib she’d ever seen. Carved out of wood, it was overlaid in silver. The design was enchanting, a myriad of stars and moons forming faraway constellations. On the side, he’d put a quote from the book he’d recited to her the night she spent in the hospital. I’ll love you to the moon and back.

  Rising to her feet, she threw herself in his arms. “I adore it and I adore you. Thank you! Our child is going to be the luckiest little person in the world!”

  “I agree. With a mother like you, he couldn’t be anything else.” Canyon rubbed her back. “I’m saying he, but I don’t care whether it’s a girl or a boy. I’ll love the child completely either way.”

  “I know. We find out Thursday. I’m so excited!” Seren felt everything was just about perfect.

  “Okay, ready for the second surprise?”

  “Okay. I am.” She dutifully shut her eyes again as he led her from one room to the other. “I’ve been working on this piece for a little over three months. I had a vision in my head that I just couldn’t let go of. I could see the figure, but I just couldn’t put a face on it – until I met you.”

  Seren understood from his voice how important this was to him. She knew how talented Canyon was and never doubted the piece would be magnificent.

  “Okay.” He spoke softly, “Look.”

  Seren slowly opened her eyes, then blinked. What was she seeing? The piece was good. Absolutely. Canyon was able to take ordinary items and create magic. But the subject matter sent waves of fear washing over her. “Canyon…” Seren was unable to keep the panic from her voice. “How?” She found herself shaking at the sight of an angel with wings unfurled, arms lifted to soar heavenward. And the face – was hers. Not the face she saw when she looked in the mirror, but the perfected face she’d never see again.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Yes, it’s stunning. Wonderful. Who was the model?”

  Canyon looked at Seren like she was crazy. “Who is the model?” He frowned. “You’re the model. The first time I saw your face, I knew it belonged on this angel.”

  “That’s not my face.” Seren shook her head. “I don’t look like that.”

  Wondering why she seemed upset, Canyon placed a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry. I think it looks just like you. That face is what I see when I look at you. You’re my angel.”

  Seren took one step back. A whirlwind of possibilities went tumbling through her head. Somehow. Someway. On some level, he was remembering. She considered the slips in their conversation. The stupid things she’d done – like wearing the bunny suit. The song he’d picked, Cowboys and Angels. Terror and dread rushed through her like white water. “I’m sorry. I have to leave.” She had to leave before he remembered everything. If he remembered, something terrible would happen to him.

  And it would be her fault.

  As she turned to go, Canyon tried to stop her with a hand on her arm. “Wait! Where are you going? What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” When she continued to move away from him, her eyes full of panic, he grew afraid. His veins felt like they were full of icy water. “Did I offend you in some way? Seren, stop!” But she didn’t stop. She ran from the studio to the house with him on her heels. “Seren, talk to me.”

  He tried to take her in his arms, but she kept him at bay. “Canyon, I can’t stay here with you any longer. This was a mistake. Please. I don’t expect you to understand, but you have to respect my wishes.” She tried not to look at him as she hurriedly threw her things in a bag. “I’ll call an Uber.”

  Feeling sick, Canyon wanted to pull his hair out. He wanted to scream. “What are you talking about? Why are you leaving? What did I do? Don’t you love me anymore?”

  His questions were killing her. “Canyon…don’t…” She couldn’t stand much more.

  “At least let me drive you where you want to go.”

  She didn’t know where she was going. “No. I need to get away from you. This isn’t going to work. I need to put distance between us.”

  Hearing her emphatic declaration drove a nail through his heart. “I’d never hurt you, Seren. You have to know that.” With shaking hands, he took out his phone and summoned a car for her. “I love you,” he whispered as he watched her hurry down the hall. “I don’t know what I did. If you’d tell me, I’d undo it. I don’t want you to leave.”

  “I have to.” Buster barked at her feet, realizing something was wrong. “Please pick him up, Canyon. Don’t follow me. I need to do this for both our sakes.” Hurrying from the house, she headed down the tree-shaded lane to meet her ride at the end of the drive.

  Behind her, Canyon stood with the dog in his arms. He felt like the world was falling down around him. “Don’t follow you? My heart is going with you!”

  His anguished cry almost caused her to look over her shoulder – but she didn’t. Seren knew if she did, she might run back into his arms. And that was one thing she could not do. Protecting him was everything.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Sitting in the back of the Uber car, Seren clutched the edge of the seat. She wasn’t just crying now, she was sobbing. Once inside the confines of the vehicle, she’d turned to look out the back windshield, watching Canyon until she couldn’t see him anymore. He’d stood there, a solitary figure, holding the little dog they’d both come to love. Once he was out of sight, she’d lost it, crying uncontrollably.

  “Lady, you’ve got to tell me where we’re going.”

  “Uh.” She hiccupped another sob and wiped her eyes. “Uh.” Hardbodies? A motel? Should she head to Houston and beg Celine for a job? Suddenly, out of nowhere, she remembered the moment her eyes had locked with Cady’s after the karaoke song.

  If you ever need me, I am a mere whisper away.

  No stranger to the unexplained, she took a step of faith. “Cady?”

  “What did you say?” the uber driver asked. “I didn’t hear you.”

  Come to me, Seren. I’m waiting for you.

  “Take me to Tebow Ranch, please.”

  “Will do.”

  As the wheels of the Uber car turned, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. What had she been thinking? How foolish she’d been to take such a risk. Pure terror made her blood run cold. What if he remembered? What would Gregori do to Canyon? The sorrow of leaving him was painful, but the idea that she might have put him in danger was unbearable. Like the old adage taught, she’d been so wrong to think she could have her cake and eat it too. Crossing her hands over her middle, she hugged her unborn child. Seren wasn’t even certain her prayers were being heard any longer. Nevertheless, she bowed her head and begged for a miracle.

  …At home, Canyon sat on the edge of his couch with Buster Scruggs, wondering how everything could have gone so wrong so fast. “It was the sculpture. It had to be. But why?” Shrugging his wide shoulders, he hung his head. “I don’t know what happened. Maybe she feels differently than I do.”

  With a whine, the dog knocked something off the couch. Absently, Canyon picked it up, reading the title scrawled at the top in familiar handwriting. “A to-do list.” Seren’s to-do list. He barely spared it a glan
ce before leaving it on the coffee table. A second or two passed before he grabbed the pad back up, focusing on what she’d wrote. “Number three says ‘marry Canyon’. That’s me, dammit!” Hope bloomed in his heart. “She does love me and I don’t intend to live without her.” Somehow, someway, he needed to fix what he’d broken and bring Seren home.

  …After paying the Uber driver, Seren took a deep breath and stood still, watching it drive away.

  “Seren, you’re here. Welcome!”

  Cady’s calm, reassuring voice drew her near. “Thank you.” She moved up the stone walk toward the Tebow main house. “I’m not sure what I’m doing here.”

  Putting an arm around Seren’s shoulders, Cady hugged her. “You’re running away from what you love the most. Let me help you.”

  Confused, Seren accompanied the woman as they moved down a path to sit in the garden gazebo. “I left Canyon because I have no choice. How did you know?”

  “I’m like you.” Cady gave her a beatific smile.

  “Like me?” Seren said the words slowly with a hint of disbelief. “What do you mean?”

  “I used to be Joseph’s watcher.”

  “What?” Her question was asked with total shock.

  “Our circumstances aren’t identical, but our origins are.” She took Seren’s hands. “I know you feel things are hopeless, but they aren’t. There is a perfect plan, we just have to figure out what it is.”

  “You don’t understand, Cady.” She clutched at the other woman’s hands like a lifeline. “I messed up.” In her upset state, the exclamation came out almost incoherently. “I protected Canyon at another person’s expense.” Seren waved her hands in the air, her words rushing from her lips. “This truck driver left his lane. To avoid a head-on collision, which would’ve killed Canyon, I forced the semi from the road. I thought it went harmlessly into the ditch, but the driver hit his head on the steering wheel. I didn’t realize the man was hurt.” Feeling remorse, she bowed her head. “As a test, I was made visible to Canyon. I didn’t understand what was happening and I told him everything.” In her anguish, Seren bent almost double, holding her head in her hands. “I fell even more in love with him and jeopardized his safety by revealing my identity to him. When the truck driver died suddenly from a brain aneurysm, I was judged. My memory was wiped from everyone’s minds, including Canyon’s.”

  “Not from everyone. Not from mine.”

  “Not from Jonah’s father either, for some weird reason. He remembered me.” Seren laughed sadly. “The day you mentioned the party you’d planned for me, I couldn’t believe it.”

  “Our connection was too great,” Cady explained. “As for John, he looks at the world through a child’s eyes. No filter of skepticism. He sees many things others cannot see.”

  Seren nodded, wiping the free-flowing tears from her eyes. “When Gregori gave me my sentence, he told I must never reveal the truth to Canyon.”

  “Oh, Gregori.” Cady frowned. “I remember him. He’s a hardass.”

  Despite her sorrow, Seren giggled. “Shhhh, he’s always listening.”

  Cady laughed aloud. “I’m sure he is.” She lifted her head and spoke to the wind. “He’s not nearly as perfect as he makes you think he is.”

  “Oh, Cady. Be careful. Gregori said Canyon can never remember the truth. I don’t know what he would do to Canyon, but I can’t risk it.” She wailed a soft sob. “The morning after Gergori sentenced me, I awoke on the highway out of town. I guess I was supposed to leave – but I didn’t know how. I’ve been with Canyon always. I didn’t know how to exist away from him.”

  “I know. I understand completely.” Cady comforted her.

  “Our situations aren’t the same though. I’ve ruined things! I don’t know what to do. I took too many risks. I should never have moved in with him. Probably more of Gregori’s damn tests – and I failed.”

  “I don’t think you failed. I believe you are on the path to your destiny.”

  Cady’s words were beautiful, but Seren couldn’t allow herself to hope. “I’m so afraid for him. Canyon seems to be remembering. He made this beautiful sculpture of an angel with my face.” Seren shook her head. “My perfect face, not this one.” She passed her hand in front of her eyes.

  “Canyon sees you through the eyes of love.” She put a finger under Seren’s chin to make her look at her. “Joseph sees me the same way. He thinks I’m beautiful, but I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are. You’re perfect.”

  “My grandmother once told me that when I was loved, I would become beautiful.”

  “She was right.” Seren swallowed, trying to calm herself. “I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Everything will work out, Seren. Have faith.”

  Clasping Cady’s hands tightly, she pleaded with her to understand, “But I’m so afraid! I love him so much. I don’t know if I can exist without him.”

  …From inside the Tebow main house, Joseph looked out the window. “I wonder what’s happening,” he observed softly. “Something’s definitely up.” Taking his phone from his pocket, he called Canyon.

  Driving into town to look for Seren, Canyon jerked when his cell rang. Desperate for it to be Seren, he answered without looking at the screen. “Baby, where are you?”

  “I’m at Tebow, honey.”

  Hearing a man’s voice, Canyon held it out to read the name. “Joseph. Dammit.”

  “What did you do?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “With Seren, what did you do?”

  “I fucked up, apparently. I just don’t know how. What do you know about it?”

  “She’s sitting outside in the gazebo with my wife, bawling her eyes out.”

  “I’ll be right there.” He pulled off the side of the road and prepared to make a U-turn. “Make sure she doesn’t leave.”

  “You’d better hurry,” Joseph drawled. “My history of controlling women is not the best in the world.”

  …As the two women talked, a wind from the east began to rise. “I can’t let anything happen to him. I know I have to leave.” Seren ignored Cady’s protests. “Yes, I have to. But before I go, I need to do something to insure Canyon is safe.”

  “Trust yourself. I know you can’t see this now,” Cady assured her, “but all of this is unfolding as it should.”

  “I feel so desperate,” Seren confessed. “I want to scream to the heavens.”

  “We’re told that we have not because we ask not. So…do it.” Cady stood, encouragingly. “Ask.”

  Seren stared at Cady. “What do I say?”

  “Pour out your heart. State your petition. Ask, and it shall be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened unto you.”

  Giving Cady a quick hug, Seren took her friend at her word. Leaving the gazebo, she moved out into the open. A mysterious wind began to swirl around her as clouds moved swiftly across the sky. “Hear me! I am unworthy and below your consideration. I have failed. I have put people I love into jeopardy. Please grant me this one last request!” Holding up her hands, Seren cried, “Gregori!”

  …Driving at breakneck speed, Canyon covered the distance between his home and Tebow Ranch. Try as he might, he couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. He’d gone over every move they’d made and every word he’d said – there was just no clue. Whatever he had to do to fix this, he would.

  Driving through the main gate, he pulled in front of the ranch house. By the time he climbed from his truck Joseph was there to meet him.

  “Where is she?”

  Joseph motioned for Canyon to keep it down. “In the back.” Stopping his friend, he stepped closer. “What’s going on? Jacob told me about the boat accident. How you saved everyone and almost died yourself.”

  “I’m fine. Seren pulled me from the waters and she and Jacob gave me CPR until I came out of it.” He took off his hat and raked his hand through his hair. “Seren didn’t escape unscathed, she was in the hospital for a
night, but I don’t think this has anything to do with any of that. Seren took one look at my angel sculpture with her face and panicked. She said she had to leave to keep me safe. None of this makes any sense to me.”

  Joseph put his hand on Canyon’s shoulders. “Welcome to my world. Cady has a mind of her own. However,” he paused to chuckle, “if your woman is like mine, she’d move heaven and earth for me. I never doubt she has my best interest at heart.”

  Canyon nodded. “I need to talk to her. I have to make this right.”

  “They’re at the gazebo.” He pointed in the right direction. “Try not to get in anymore trouble than you already are.”

  …Lifting her face skyward, Seren continued to speak, “Gregori, I beg you, hear me. I am so sorry I failed!” With her heart breaking, she kept her arms raised in supplication. “Gregori, I call upon you! I know I’ve done wrong. Canyon is remembering and I don’t know what to do.”

  As the sky grew darker, a heavy energy settled around her. The sky rolled back and from the swirling clouds, Gregori appeared. “A person’s own folly leads to their ruin. Be very careful how you live, not as unwise but as wise.”

  To see the mighty angel quoting scripture to her caused Seren to tremble. “I know I was unwise. I am responsible for Raymond Poe’s death. I am responsible for Canyon beginning to remember. Please, Gregori, erase his memories again. Don’t punish him for my foolishness.”

  Canyon followed the sound of her voice. Who was Gregori? And what was she talking about? When he rounded the corner, he saw her standing alone, talking to someone he couldn’t see. “Seren?”

  Cady moved quickly to stop his forward progress. “Wait. Don’t interrupt her. She needs to do this.”

  “What’s happening? Is she okay?”

  “I don’t know if you should be here,” Cady worried as rain began to fall.