Hold Me

by Alexa Verde

“A pleasure to meet you, Aileen. And yes, one can say Roman and I met. We dated once.” She shrugged. “But in this town, what woman hasn’t dated Roman?”

  Aileen swallowed hard. She could live without that information.

  Shannon’s eyes darted around as if she tried to find a way to change the topic. “Mom, your hair looks weird. Or maybe you should change the hairdresser?”

  “No. When you called, I left before my hair was done.”

  The girl’s darting eyes flew to her mother’s, and her mouth slid open. She slowly licked her lips, then stepped forward. “So… you care that much for me?”

  Her mother stared at her, her designer suit buttoned on the wrong button. “Of course, I do. You’re my daughter! And don’t I always buy you everything you ask for?”

  “It’s just…you’re always at a hairdresser’s or doing your nails or lunching with your friends or busy with some charity work,” Shannon whispered.

  Guilt flashed in the woman’s eyes as she hugged her daughter. “I’m sorry. You acted so grown-up and independent—I figured you didn’t need me anymore.” She turned to Jonah. “I can’t exactly say I’m happy to meet Shannon’s boyfriend. I still think she’s too young. But I guess I need to accept the inevitable.”

  Shannon high-fived Jonah. “Thanks, Mom. Though Jonah isn’t my boyfriend. He’s—”

  Jonah cleared his throat. “I’d love for you to become my girlfriend.”

  This time Aileen didn’t manage to suppress a groan. Did all kids grow up this fast these days, or was it her particular kid?

  Shannon let out a shriek. “Yes!”

  Then she hugged her mother and whispered loud enough for everybody to hear. “Thank you for mentioning ‘boyfriend’. Jonah might’ve never asked me otherwise.”

  The woman looked around helplessly since, clearly, that wasn’t her intention, then hugged her daughter back. “Um, you’re welcome. I guess. I’m taking you home, and then I’m returning to the hairdresser.”

  Shannon eased out of her embrace. “You’re still beautiful, even with only half of your hair colored.”

  “So are you, Shannon.” Sincere admiration rang in Jonah’s voice.

  Shannon beamed at her now-boyfriend as she flipped her long blonde hair back. “Aw, thank you.”

  “Well, look at that. That boy already knows how to give compliments. He must be getting that from you, Roman. I mean… You know what I mean.” The woman led her daughter away.

  “Just like Shannon gets her beauty from her mother,” Jonah called after them.

  The woman shook her head as if in disbelief. “Just proves my point.” She threw the words over her shoulder.

  Levi finally showed up from whatever room he’d been hiding in. “I’m, um, sorry.”

  Levi’s parents burst inside. He’d probably called them. Aileen and Roman explained the situation, Aileen letting Roman do most of the talking. She’d always tried to avoid confrontation, so she was only glad when he took over.

  With Roman’s sociable persona, the conversation turned amicable fast. With the looks the woman threw Roman’s way, he might’ve dated her sometime, too, though thankfully her husband didn’t seem to know it.

  About a quarter of an hour later, Roman, Aileen, and Jonah were on the way to Aileen’s and Jonah’s place.

  Aileen turned in the front passenger seat and wiggled a finger at her son, who was buckled up in the back seat. “No more sneaky meetings with Shannon, young man. Remember that.”

  “Oh great! So you’ll drive me to dates with her?” Jonah gave her an innocent look as he looked up from his phone.

  How did her son get that from her words? Aileen resisted the urge to roll her eyes. That eye roll must be contagious.

  “I can drive you to a restaurant on Wednesday.” Roman glanced back and winked at the boy. “We can have a man-to-man conversation, too. And I could give you more pointers about wrestling.”

  “That’s so cool!” Jonah nearly jumped in his seat. Then he seemed to catch himself and said in a more casual way. “Cool, man. Thanks.”

  “Thank you.” She sent a grateful glance Roman’s way while her heart swelled.

  The next moment, her phone rang, and she fished it out of her purse.

  “Ms. McKenzie, this is Leonel Garza.” The man’s voice sounded vaguely familiar, but she had difficulty placing it. “Thank you for taking the time to interview for a vacancy with our company. I know it was some time ago, but you impressed the panel, and we kept your resume on file. I’d like to offer you a job if you’re still interested. We’re opening another Portland store.”

  Something shifted inside her as she stared out the window at the passing homes she’d seen so many times. Before leaving for Chapel Cove, she’d applied for a dessert chef job with a large national company intending to open franchises in Oregon, starting in Portland. She’d heard they’d only hired the best, so, with no real experience or accolades to her name, she didn’t hope to get it, really, and had forgotten about it.

  “Can I… think about it?”

  “Of course. But we’d like an answer in two weeks.” He named a salary beyond her wildest expectations. “We’d love to have you on board.”

  “Thank you so much.” She disconnected and tried to collect her thoughts.

  This was it.

  This was the safety net she’d wanted so badly.

  Opening her pastry store was a huge risk, a risk she’d probably never have taken without her father’s and Jonah’s prodding. Having large loans and not knowing how her store would do next month, much less next year, whether she’d be able to provide for Jonah, weighed heavily on her. The recent flood proved how vulnerable she was.

  It was as if she was repeating her mother’s mistakes, walking at the edge of ruin, only for a different reason. She didn’t want Jonah to go through what she had. She wanted to help her father who’d worked hard his entire life and deserved a good retirement.

  If she sold Aileen’s Pastries and took the Portland job, she’d be able to pay off the loans. She’d be safe, at least in the financial sense. Jonah would be safe, too, and have the future she wanted to give him so badly, the opportunity to go to the college of his choice. He already talked about becoming an architect, building houses “like Mr. Roman, only on a different level.”

  She swallowed hard. It all made sense. She’d be a fool to pass on an offer that surely wouldn’t happen again.

  Comparatively, staying in Chapel Cove felt like skiing from a mountain top. Her girlfriends had prodded her once, and she’d wanted to look good in front of Roman. She’d fallen on the slope and broken her leg.

  Except for the time she’d returned to her hometown, any time she’d taken the risk, be it talking to her mother about alcoholism, skiing on the slopes, or approaching someone she’d liked never paid off. It only made things worse.

  Taking this great opportunity should be such a simple decision.

  But how could she leave Roman a second time? Not that she’d promised him anything, unlike that time in high school. Still, that kiss, the bid at the bachelor’s auction, her body language, even the expression surely in her eyes when she’d looked at him were promise enough.

  When she glanced at his handsome profile, her heart ached at the thought of separating from him again, and the decision wasn’t simple at all.

  Chapter Sixteen

  THREE DAYS later, Aileen wasn’t anywhere closer to a decision. She’d avoided Roman as much as she could and ditched his calls because, when she looked into his eyes, she knew exactly what her heart wanted.

  But just like before, when she’d needed to think about the well-being of someone else besides herself, now she needed to think about Jonah’s future.

  True to his word, Roman had picked up Jonah and driven him to Tía Irma’s for an after-school date with Shannon, while Aileen worked in her store. He’d given her son more pointers about wrestling the evening before when they’d taken Dawg to the park together.

  She’
d avoided speaking to Roman, but she couldn’t impose the same on her son, who adored Roman like the father he should have had.

  Maybe she shouldn’t have come back and stirred up all these feelings between them again. A knife turned in her heart as she placed a smile on her face and served Mrs. MacPherson her favorite cherry turnovers. “Here we go. Enjoy, please.”

  The last thing she wanted was to hurt Roman again. But she was about to do exactly that, whether she stayed to give them a chance and eventually saddled him with her huge loans or left for Portland.

  Kristina rushed inside the store. “What’s going on?”

  The older lady looked from Kristina to Aileen and then back to Kristina. “Um, as much as I want to hear all about it, I’ll give you two some privacy.”

  “I’d like a dozen chocolate cupcakes. Whatever I don’t eat, I’ll take home for Chelsea. She’s with Greg’s in-laws right now, but she’ll be delighted to see them when she’s back. Care to join me for a cup of coffee?” Kristina plunked her purse on the chair. “We need to talk.”

  Uh-oh.

  An alarm rang in Aileen’s head. “I’d love to, but I can’t. I’ll get your cupcakes and coffee. On the house.” Aileen packed cupcakes carefully in a box and handed it to Kristina, then made her coffee and handed it to her, as well. “If you have enough time to wait, I’ll join you when I have a chance. Right now I need to serve customers.”

  As if to confirm her words, a blonde woman in late thirties or early forties, dressed in gray overalls, entered the store. Aileen knew the woman only by her first name, Liberty, and that she was the new mechanic in town. According Chapel Cove’s grapevine, AKA Violet, Liberty was here on a vacation of sorts and stayed because there was an opening at the automotive shop. But even Violet didn’t seem to know more, which, of course, was highly unusual.

  Either way, Aileen wasn’t into gossip. While Kristina returned to the table with cupcakes and coffee, Aileen smiled at the customer, her smile feeling far less strained than before. Probably because she was eager to talk to Kristina. “How may I help you?”

  Her heart squeezed. Her friends in Portland weren’t exactly friends, more acquaintances who forgot all about her once she’d left. If she moved back, she’d miss her friendship with Kristina. And Jonah would miss Roman and Shannon.

  But she had to think about their security.

  Liberty glanced at the box on the table. “Those chocolate cupcakes look good to me. I’ll take two to go.” She paid and left with the small box.

  Aileen brought a plate and utensils to Kristina and looked at the door. So far, nobody. She claimed a seat opposite her friend.

  Kristina said grace.

  Then she indulged in cupcakes. “Mmmmm, they seem to become more delicious every time I try them. This is awesome, but I also get strange cravings now. Last night, I wanted watermelon with cheese.”

  Strange cravings?

  Could her friend be expecting? A question was about to escape her tongue, but Aileen forced it back. If Kristina wanted to tell her, she would.

  Kristina took a sip of her coffee, then pinned Aileen with a stare. “What’s going on? Why have you avoided my brother since Sunday?”

  Huh? “Did Roman tell you?” Aileen drew circles on the table with her finger.

  “My brother isn’t the type to complain. Well, neither is Jonah, but he called me. Your son is worried about you two. He said things were moving along so well, and then came to a halt.”

  “It’s understandable.” A sad smile touched Aileen’s lips. Roman had been great with him. “Jonah needs a father figure in his life.”

  Her friend bit into the second cupcake. “He also needs and wants you to be happy. I thought you worked out your differences with Roman. What’s happening now?”

  Aileen let a deep breath inflate her chest. Didn’t help with the weight there. “Okay, here it goes.” She told her friend about the opportunity of a lifetime in Portland.

  Kristina’s lips thinned. “So you want to play it safe and return to Portland, work a regular job instead of running your own business?”

  Was that what she was doing? Playing it safe? “I’d be able to give Jonah a much better life this way.”

  “I’m sure Jonah would have a different opinion. Or my brother. Do either one of them know?” Frowning, Kristina took another sip of coffee.

  Aileen shook her head. “I haven’t decided whether I’ll be taking the offer, so I didn’t tell them yet.”

  “Maybe you should.” Her friend stuffed a part of the third chocolate cupcake in her mouth. “Don’t judge. I’m eating for two now. Maybe even for three.”

  Aileen gawked at her friend. She couldn’t wait any longer. “Are you…”

  Chocolate-covered lips spread in a wide grin. “Yup. I’m pregnant. Twins run in my family, and I’d so love to give Greg two boys.”

  Aileen’s heart expanded as she rushed to her friend and hugged her in earnest. “Congratulations!”

  Kristina hugged her back before easing out of her embrace. “Thank you. Greg and Chelsea are ecstatic. Chelsea couldn’t stop clapping and jumping up and down. Frankly, my husband, either.”

  “I’m so happy for you.” Moisture sprang to Aileen’s eyes.

  She was thrilled for her friend.

  She really was.

  But a desperate longing entered her. She’d love to marry Roman and give him a child. Of course, knowing Roman, he wouldn’t hesitate to adopt Jonah and treat him as his own son. But to feel a child again under her heart, to see the joy on Roman’s face when she gave him the news…

  She pushed the thoughts aside. Pregnancy at her age could be risky, though judging by the glow on Kristina’s face, she was too busy being happy to think about that.

  Three loud car fob beeps outside announced that more customers had arrived, so Aileen rose to her tired feet. As much as she loved her job, spending a day running a store, rarely sitting down, often skipping meals was wearing on her. If it was already so difficult to do this in her forties, what about in her fifties or sixties? She’d looked into the retirement system with the company she’d applied for. They had excellent retirement. Being self-employed meant taking care of her retirement herself, and she wasn’t in her twenties anymore, thinking retirement would be a lifetime away.

  Something else in favor of moving to Portland. An image of Roman flashed in her memory. Or not. And… she loved her little store with its pastry scents and its customers. Grew to love her small town.

  Well, she was just as torn as before.

  Kristina glanced at the clock with little cupcakes marking the hours she’d put on the wall. “When do you close?”

  Aileen followed her gaze. “Officially, in fifteen minutes. But I usually stay while customers are inside.” Judging by the group entering the store, that would take a while, and her tired muscles protested as she rushed back to the counter.

  Good thing Roman was going to pick up Jonah from Tía Irma’s.

  Regular hours would be another thing in favor of taking that dessert chef job. She’d been promised them at the interview. She’d be able to spend more time with Jonah. Otherwise, she’d blink, and he’d be leaving for college already.

  Kristina snatched her purse. “I’m going to help you. I want you to close in time today. But you really need to hire someone else.” Before Aileen had a chance to protest, her friend marched in the restroom’s direction. “I’ll go wash my hands and pull my hair up.”

  Apparently, caring was in the Vela family DNA. Aileen’s insides warmed as she served her customers. And yes, she did need to hire staff, more than just the high school girl who worked flexible hours at the counter sometimes.

  But she couldn’t afford it. Not yet.

  Would she ever? As much as she loved her job, the uncertainty was killing her. More points in Portland’s favor?

  Lord, please guide me. Please show me what I need to do.

  The prayer appeared seemingly on its own.

  Still, somethi
ng was stopping her from having the relationship with the Lord she’d once had. It seemed so easy for Kristina and Roman to be close to the Lord, despite their sad upbringing. Why then was it so difficult for her, Aileen?

  Her friend returned, her dark shoulder-length hair pinned in a bun at the nape of her neck, and donned on an apron. Working in tandem, they made the line to the counter move twice as fast.

  As soon as the last customer was out the door, Kristina ran to the door and turned the sign from Open to Closed.

  Aileen rang up the cash register as fast as she could while her friend did a quick cleanup. She needed to be home soon because Jonah was about to return.

  She fished her cell phone from her pocket and called Jonah.

  He answered on the second beep as if he expected her call. “Mom, could Shannon and I go to the amusement park? Her parents already said yes, and—”

  Aileen sank into a chair. She didn’t want her son to be out there late, and she was too exhausted to chaperon. She’d hate to hear the disappointment in his voice, but what needed to be done needed to be done.

  “Oh, I’ve got that covered.” Kristina seemed to know what the call was about. “Greg and I will chaperon and double date at the same time.” She stroked her still-flat belly.

  “Double date?” Aileen mouthed.

  “He wants to give me as many fun dates as possible before the little one—or little ones—come along. Gotta love that man.” True to her words, love shone in her eyes.

  “Thank you, Kristina. Okay, Jonah, you can go to the amusement park,” Aileen said into the phone.

  “Great!” Jonah screamed, then disconnected.

  “You’ve got an important conversation here.” Kristina gestured to Roman who just walked through the door.

  Aileen’s heart skipped a beat as she eyed Kristina. Her friend set her up. “You did this all on purpose.”

  “Yes, and you can thank me later.” Her friend winked and sauntered out of the pastry store, her box of chocolate cupcakes in hand.

  Aileen’s pulse spiked as she stared into Roman’s dark eyes. She needed to tell him about the job offer. Well, maybe later.