Too Hard to Forget (Romancing the Clarksons Book 3)

by Tessa Bailey

  She thought about what Elliott had said up in the bedroom, about seeing faults in parents, same as they saw the faults in their children. Loving them in spite of it. At the earliest opportunity, she was going to read the journal. She had nothing to lose. For once, seeing her mother’s final words on the pages didn’t inspire an army of termites to start nibbling at her stomach lining.

  “My father talked to me about you,” Alice said slowly, breaking into her thoughts. “That’s how I knew he was serious. He never talks to me about anything.”

  “Sounds like he’s trying to change that.”

  “Yeah.” Alice scrutinized Peggy for long moments, her mouth screwing up tight, until she released an exodus of breath. “I’m really sorry for the name I called you,” she said with a tremor in her voice. “Even when I was saying it, I didn’t mean it. I was just surprised. My dad isn’t supposed to…date. And then you had to look like that, you know? Like he just became every guy in my school who wants to date the pretty cheerleader and I couldn’t stand it. My own father.” She swiped the sleeve of her coat beneath her eyes. “God, he must think I’m so underwhelming in every way.”

  Peggy’s throat started to ache. Not only because of this young girl who didn’t realize her father’s love was unconditional, but also because her decision to leave had never seemed wiser. She’d wedged herself between the two of them, and she needed to wiggle her way free as soon as possible, before it caused lasting damage. “Well, I think you’re way off. Remember what I said about adults? We’re all dealing with our own shit. He’s probably just as worried you find him underwhelming.”

  Alice scoffed. “The Kingmaker? Underwhelming?”

  “Yeah.” Peggy gave a decisive nod, sympathy for Elliott like a rock in her stomach. “But try and have a little faith in him. He’s trying.”

  The younger girl murmured something that Peggy couldn’t hear, but it sounded like only since you showed up. But before she could comment, footsteps approached them from behind. Peggy didn’t have to turn around to know it was Sage, each of her steps poetic and thoughtful. She entered Peggy’s line of vision and arranged herself with fluid movements on the ground. “The Tate family is lovely,” she said in her melodic voice. “But they’re giving me a rash.”

  Alice shifted and regarded the third member of their pity party warily, the way she’d looked at Peggy when she’d shown up on her porch. “How did you two become friends? You look and act like total opposites.”

  Peggy swiped a discreet hand across her neck. “That’s a story for a different day.”

  “What do you mean by ‘total opposites’?” Sage said, tilting her head.

  Alice shrugged. “In my school, you would be eating at different tables in the cafeteria.”

  Sage’s curiosity still wasn’t satisfied. “Which table would I sit at?”

  The younger girl’s mouth twitched at one end, reminding Peggy of Elliott in a good mood. “Probably the yearbook committee.”

  Sage pursed her lips and slumped a little. “I was on the yearbook staff. It meant I could stay longer at school and avoid going home.” She jerked, as if the telling words had slipped out without permission, her eyes widening on Peggy. “You know. Because we had…a terrible Internet connection. The school’s was much better.” Her spine straightened, her lips curling into a smile, but Peggy wasn’t fooled for a moment and wanted nothing more than to launch herself at Sage, hold her close, and never let go. “I’ll have you know,” Sage continued, “that yearbook committee is the best-kept secret. Do you know how willing students are to trade favors for having the more flattering pictures of them included in the book?” She arched an eyebrow. “Very willing, indeed.”

  Peggy couldn’t keep herself from laughing, but the joy didn’t reach her chest. “Sage, you secret con artist.” She laid a hand on Alice’s knee, feigning outage. “I had no idea who I was traveling with, Alice, you have to believe me. I was in the dark.”

  “What’s another secret about you?” Alice asked, a smile threatening to bloom on her face. “Something else Peggy doesn’t know.”

  A cold hand swept through Peggy’s bones at the way Sage’s features seemed to turn to stone as she stared out into space a moment. “I plan weddings because…when I was a child, I snuck into a wedding back home in…back home in the South.” The wind blew a strand of hair across her face. “And it was the first beautiful thing I’d ever seen before that day. And it was the last beautiful thing I saw for a really long time.”

  Peggy reached a hand out toward Sage, but she moved lithely to her feet and clapped her hands, her serene expression back in place. “I have to get back. There could be more items selling.”

  There was no choice but to watch her best friend leave, her petite figure dwarfed by the massive Indiana sky. The moment felt like a crossroads. Their journeys had intersected in California, but if Sage stayed true to her word, she would be heading off in a different direction soon. After her accidental slip about not wanting to go home as a child, Peggy wondered if Sage could be facing something bad. Something she would need Peggy’s help contending with.

  Just as Peggy came to her feet, ready to go after Sage, Belmont stepped out from the Tate house’s shadows, pulling Sage into an embrace. It stopped Peggy from moving. Stopped time from moving.

  Sage’s journey would always lead back to Belmont, wouldn’t it?

  Where would hers lead?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Elliott wasn’t the hovering type. He went from point A to point B with purpose, and he didn’t make pit stops along the way. Unfortunately, he was at point A, and in order to reach point B—his date with Peggy—he needed…advice. Which was what had him pacing back and forth in front of the Tate family room, attempting to get the attention of his erstwhile receiver without drawing any unwanted eyes.

  Lord, the word advice sat in his mouth like acid. But his only hope of pulling off a successful evening would mean asking one of his players to steer him in the right direction. Asking his players questions without already knowing the damn answer was unheard of, but hell, he’d never been desperate before. Or at least, he’d never been aware of his own desperation.

  Kyler was occupied wading through bills with his parents, deciding which ones needed to be paid first, come the morning. The sheer amount of overdue notices on the table was enough to turn anyone green, but the prospect of paying those balances had lightened the mood in the house. Music poured from an old stereo beneath the television, on which a game show played on mute. The family members who were supposed to hit the road hours earlier were still in attendance, already making sandwiches out of the dinner leftovers, their lively conversation filtering through the swinging kitchen door.

  All the damn noise made it impossible to catch his receiver’s attention, however, and only a few minutes remained until Peggy met him downstairs.

  He could all but smell her perfume drifting from the second floor and it made his skin tight, made his belt feel like it rested too low on his groin. After their make-out session in the bedroom earlier, he’d been tempted to find somewhere private to give himself a hand job in order to remain halfway decent on their date. But the walls were thin in the packed house, and after having Alice walk in on Peggy straddling his lap, forgive him for being a little spooked.

  Above his head, footsteps moved across the ancient floor and he envisioned Peggy topless and barefoot, preparing for their date. Their date.

  Elliott rapped his fist on the arched wall leading to the family room, everyone’s attention snapping to him and staying there.

  “Front and center, Tate,” Elliott barked, nodding with satisfaction when muscle memory had Kyler on his feet, jogging out to meet Elliott in the foyer before he’d even finished making the command.

  “What’s up, Coach?”

  Elliott jerked his chin toward the porch, both men exiting the house a moment later, right into the thick of the black evening. After the crowded warmth of the house, walking into the brittle
cold was a shock, and as the crickets made lazy notes around them, Elliott wondered absently if Peggy would be warm enough. Realizing that Kyler was watching him pace, amusement ticking up one corner of his mouth, Elliott clasped his hands behind his back and forced himself to stop. “Where are we at on the fund-raiser?”

  “Another twenty-three thousand will put us in the clear.” Kyler scratched his chin. “This morning I would have called that a long shot, but Peggy’s idea from earlier is making all the difference. Word is out about the fund-raiser and now local clubs and committees are pooling their money, buying the memorabilia. Not just here, but back in Cincy.” He fought a smile and lost. “There’s a bidding war taking place for drinks with Peggy—”

  “Excuse me?”

  Kyler held up his hands. “Her idea, Coach. Not mine. Someone suggested it on the message boards after Peggy posted a video to thank everyone for paying promptly…and she said as long as the date took place tomorrow, before they all leave for New York, it’d be fine.”

  Had Elliott actually thought it cold outside? It felt like one hundred piping hot degrees inside his coat all of a sudden, a painful twinge in his jaw telling him he was grinding his teeth. “No one ran it by me.”

  “Feminism says they didn’t have to.”

  Elliott narrowed his eyes. “You’re kind of a smart-ass, aren’t you, Tate? How come it took me four years to notice?”

  The younger man’s smile thinned. “We never talked off the field or outside the locker room until now, ’cept that one time in your office.”

  “Well.” Elliott tried to clear the jealousy over Peggy from his throat, but it didn’t work. He’d be wondering the entire damn evening who was going to take her out for drinks. “We’re talking now and you’re just pissing me off.”

  Not even Elliott’s downhill mood seemed enough to dim Kyler’s. “Did you bring me out here to ask me something?”

  “Yeah,” Elliott said, crossing his arms over his chest. “You grew up around here. Is there somewhere you’d recommend taking a woman?”

  Kyler rocked back on his heels, disbelief passing over his features. “If we filmed this conversation and auctioned it off, do you reckon it would fetch the highest price of all?”

  “Answer the damn question, Tate.”

  “Gotcha.” Watching as his receiver sauntered to the porch rail to prop both hands on the worn wood, it occurred to Elliott once again how much he liked the kid. But even having a fond respect for Kyler, he would’ve just let him leave, allowed the Tate family to lose the farm without lifting a single damn finger.

  What if he was kidding himself here? Trying to turn himself around, to make a fresh start when he barely knew where to begin? The mad dash to make things right with Peggy hadn’t given him much time to think, but looking across the porch at one of the most loyal players he’d had the opportunity to work with…and realizing he’d known exactly zero about him until a couple days ago, well, it was a fucking gut punch. A man didn’t just go from a stone statue to a warm-blooded ally overnight. What if he only managed to screw things up worse than the man who’d lived inside the same gray routine for years?

  Tell me something good you did today. Once upon a time, Peggy had thought him capable of performing noble deeds. Did she still believe that?

  Kyler turned with a finger in the air. “I got it, Coach. Now, you’re going to be tempted to shoot me down, but give me a chance.”

  His throat still feeling somewhat constricted with doubt, Elliott only grunted, a signal his receiver interpreted as you may continue.

  “Marengo Cave.” Kyler shoved his hands into his pockets. “I took my…”

  When Kyler left his words hanging in the air, Elliott frowned. “You took your what?”

  The young man had turned white as a ghost. “I was going to say I took my girlfriend there once, but she ain’t my girlfriend anymore.”

  Both men shifted, not exactly thrilled to be having a conversation with a definite romantic theme. “Seems like you’re not very happy about that,” Elliott said with a sniff and sudden fascination with the porch light.

  “No, can’t say I am. We were together since we were kids. Until I left for school and she wouldn’t come along,” Kyler all but choked out. “Let’s focus on your date with Peggy, though, all right?”

  “Hmm.”

  Kyler gave a grateful nod. “They do walking tours of this cave, but if you slip the manager a twenty, they’ll hook you up with a couple of lanterns and send you down there alone. Women…” The younger man seemed to be replaying a past memory, red creeping up the sides of his neck. “God bless them, but they do get scared in the cave, you see? It has been known to lead to…comforting. Of a sort.”

  Good Lord. “The Bible refers to that as deception.”

  “Here in Indiana, we refer to it as good business.”

  Elliott laughed. An honest-to-goodness laugh that just about sent Kyler jumping a few yards from the moon. “Write down the directions,” he said to a stunned Kyler. “And Tate?”

  “Yes, Coach?”

  “You breathe a word about this to any of your teammates and I’ll have you running bleachers until you vomit breakfast you ate back in middle school. Do we have an understanding?”

  Chest puffed out, Kyler saluted. “Secret is safe with me, Coach.”

  Elliott glanced toward the door, anxious for Peggy to walk through, but his stomach didn’t feel quite settled. Not yet. “And Tate…” He coughed into his fist. “If you miss this old girlfriend, take it from me. You go get her and you don’t wait.”

  The younger man shook his head, his eyes haunted. “I don’t know if she’ll come. Short of me hog-tying her and loading her into my trunk.”

  There was no way Elliott could leave without impressing a lesson on Kyler. The one he’d wished someone had taught him. “Imagine you have one more day to fix everything…before she never thinks about you again. Once that happens, it could be hopeless forever. Trust me on that.”

  If possible, even more color drained from Kyler’s face, and Peggy chose that moment to exit the house. Perceptive as always, she stopped short as if she’d been stonewalled by the gravity of the conversation, even though she didn’t know what it was about. Elliott couldn’t deny a sudden rush of nerves, as though he were some kid taking a girl to the prom, which was far from the case. He was bringing an amazing woman to a cave—and apparently attempting to terrify the hell out of her.

  Her legs should have been illegal. At least a mile long each, they were hugged by dark blue leggings, and some kind of flowy top peeked out from beneath the bottom of her coat. She’d worn her hair up, twisted in the back in some way he’d never seen it before. A way that made his fingers anxious to mess it up, set it loose again.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked, splitting a look between him and Kyler.

  “Peachy as pie,” Kyler answered, moving between them for the door. Before he walked inside, he leaned over and spoke to Elliott out of the side of his mouth. “Do I have to write you instructions for this date? Tell her she looks good.”

  “You should start dreading your first practice back.” Elliott hesitated a moment, before yanking out his wallet with a curse and removing one of his credit cards. Lowering his voice, he handed the plastic to Kyler. “I don’t care how much you have to spend, the date with Peggy is mine.”

  Kyler’s laughter followed him into the house, leaving Elliott alone with Peggy on the porch. Exactly where he wanted to be. “I like your hair like that.” He went toward her, noticing the way her lips opened on a puff of air, her fingers tightening around the strap of her purse. “If you let me kiss you, getting at your neck is going to be easy.”

  Her face transformed with a knockout grin. “Seduction is usually reserved for the end of the date.”

  Elliott narrowed his eyes, pretty sure she’d heard Kyler’s offer to give instructions on the way into the house. “I don’t need a couple of smug twenty-somethings telling me how to go on a date.”
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  “Are you sure about that? We’re a long way from the nineties.” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Maybe you’ll make me a mix tape afterward.”

  He reached down and took her hand, holding tighter when her smile wobbled. “If you’re still around afterward, I’ll make you a million of them.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  It shouldn’t have felt so easy. Sitting in the passenger seat, her head lolling on the headrest while Elliott’s capable hands steered them down the rocky pathway. He hadn’t told Peggy where they were going, keeping his new, mysterious streak alive. After checking the business hours of their destination on his phone and finding out it was closing within the hour, they’d decided to head straight there, instead of having something to eat first.

  That was just fine with Peggy. While both of them had skipped dinner at the Tates’ in deference to their date, Jess had insisted on Peggy eating a biscuit. Which had turned into two biscuits, because damn, they’d been delicious. So she was in no rush to sit down for a meal. She was, however, curious as all get-out over where Elliott was taking her. It was the opposite of his personality to be mysterious…and she had to admit, the way he’d winked in lieu of spilling the beans? Her tummy had been in a heavy knot ever since.

  After returning from the field with Sage and Alice—and trying unsuccessfully to get her best friend alone to talk—she’d decided tonight would be about saying good-bye. Tonight, she wouldn’t think about leaving tomorrow and the healing process that would have to begin immediately. She would enjoy herself—enjoy Elliott—without worrying if she were making the right call. She was…now she had to believe in that decision, despite the awful cramping feeling in her stomach that wouldn’t relent. She needed to trust herself.

  But for the next few hours, she would live in the moment.

  When they passed a sign that said, Marengo Cave Walking Tours, Peggy sat up a little straighter in her seat. “Are you taking me to a cave?” The passing foliage had gotten progressively…dense. “Like with bats?”