“I was doing you a favor. You think he cares about you? You’re nothing but another girl in the long line he’s fucked. That’s it. He doesn’t deserve you, Liri. He never did.”
“Neither do you.” I shake my head and start walking backwards. “Take a good look, Killian. This is the last time you’ll see me. I can’t believe you let her fucking put her mouth on you. You traded all we had for two minutes of nothing with that whore. Two minutes for everything. Two minutes for me. You’re really fucking cheap just like her.”
He shrugs. “I don’t know what we had. I can’t remember you.”
“Good. Forget the past few weeks too. Forget every single time I let you between my legs.” I turn my back on him and walk into the street. I grip my hair and let out a scream “Fuuuccck! Fucking fuck you, Killian Hendrix. Fuck you right in the ass with a prickly cactus. I hate you. I hate you so fucking much.” I flip him off with both fingers.
Killian stares through me with his dark eyes and says, “I told you I’d take you to Hell.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “One day you’ll regret this, and it’s going to be too late. I gave you all of me over and over again. Through all your lies I loved you. But not now and never again. You’ll never touch me again. I’d rather cut out my heart. Oh, that’s right you already did the job for me.”
Liam comes up to me as I sink to my butt in the middle of the street and cry in the slushy snow. Violent sobs wrack through my chest. “Liri, let me take you home.”
“Home.” I wipe away my tears. I laugh. “I don’t have a home. I don’t have anything if you haven’t noticed.”
“Wherever you want to go, I’ll drive you. Just tell me where. Come on. Like you said I owe you.”
“Fine.” I sniffle. I hold my hands up to him and he helps me to my feet being careful of my injured hand.
Before we make it to his car I have to stop and puke in the bushes. Liam holds my hair back but keeps his distance.
“Are you okay?”
I shake my head and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I’ll never be okay again.
I don’t know where Hunter went or Killian. I don’t care. They can both kiss my ass.
Liam hands me a clean t-shirt from the backseat of his car where he has a laundry basket.
Both my hands hurt, and people are still staring at me.
“Show’s over. Give her some damn privacy,” Liam yells.
I fumble with my dirty puke stained shirt but can’t get it off. “Let me help you. I won’t peek at anything or do anything inappropriate. I swear.”
“Okay.” I don’t have the energy to care either way. I turn my back to him, and he lifts my shirt over my head and replaces it with the one he loaned me. “Thanks.” He finishes tugging it down.
“What happened to your other hand, slugger?”
“Broken glass.”
He opens the passenger side door of his white Dodge Challenger Demon.
I slide down in the leather seat and close my eyes after giving him the address. I hope I never wake up or if that when I do that this has all been some twisted dream and that I never even ever met Killian Hendrix.
**
“Liri, wake up.” Liam nudges my shoulder. “This the place?”
I rub my eyes with the back of my right hand and observe my surroundings. “Yeah. Thanks.” Every single part of my body aches. My soul is tired.
“You gonna be okay? I’m worried about you.”
“One day. Just not today. I’m still breathing. That’s gotta count for something.”
He offers me a sympathetic smile. “He’s an idiot.”
“Don’t defend him.”
“Okay.” He runs a tattooed hand through his dirty blond hair.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem. It’s the least I can do.”
“I doubt he will ask but if he does…don’t tell him where you brought me. I can’t see him.”
“Sure. Yeah. I can keep a secret.”
“Later, Liam.”
“Later, slugger.”
I grin. “Don’t make me laugh right now. I have the worst headache.” I exit the car and walk slowly up to the door. Liam idles, waiting to make sure I get inside then roars off.
Mom is waiting in the foyer for me. “Sweetheart.” She takes one look at me and opens her arms.
“Mom,” I mumble out sounding like a broken little girl. I welcome her tight embrace. I need a hero and tonight it’s her.
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to go to bed.”
“Okay, but in the morning, we’re going to talk over pancakes.”
My stomach grumbles but it still feels sour. “Don’t mention food right now.” I cover my mouth afraid I will throw-up again.
She kisses the top of my hair. “All right. There’s extra toothbrushes in one of the drawers in the guest bathroom.” I nod and trudge up the stairs.
Tomorrow she will get to gloat and say I told you so. I get a toothbrush from the guest bathroom and wash my face after brushing my teeth. Back in my old bedroom I strip out of my leggings and slide into bed in Liam’s t-shirt. I’m too tired and lazy to dig around in my old clothes for something else.
As soon as my head hits the pillow I’m out.
Sunlight streams in my face nearly blinding me when I open my eyes. My mom is sitting on the other side of my bed strumming her fingers through my hair. “Time to wake up, sleepyhead.”
“What time is it?” I yawn and sit up to stretch. My whole body aches but not as deeply as my heart or what’s left of it.
“Past noon. You missed breakfast and lunch.”
“Hmm. Maybe I can miss dinner too.” I wipe my finger over the creases of my eyes.
“You need to eat, sweetie. You’re so pale and skinny. What’d that boy do to you?”
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t want to talk about, Killian.” His name gets stuck in my throat for a moment, but I don’t cry. I don’t have any tears left. I’m exhausted.
“Well if and when you do, I’m here. I promise to keep my judgmental comments to myself.”
“No, you don’t.”
She smiles but it’s a tired smile. “I suppose not, but I’d still listen.”
“I know, Mom. I’m tired, and I don’t want to even think about him or anyone back at Crestwood.” My chest burns, and every breath I take hurts more than the last.
“That bad, huh?”
“Is Paris still on the table?” My voice is raspy, and my throat is raw. My eyes are puffy, and I think even my eyelashes hurt. I feel like I was steamrolled. This is worse than any flu. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone except for Jackie. The thought of her has my fists tightening into balls. I’d love to hit her again. My hand hurts and I wince.
“If that’s what you want. I’m sure Theo can still get you in.”
“I do.”
“Are you sure you won’t be back with Killian in a few days?”
I shake my head. “Not this time.”
“When I talk to him tomorrow, I will let him know.”
“He’s not home?”
“He’s got an apartment with his mistress.”
“Oh. I see. No one can keep their dick in their pants I guess.”
“Oh, honey.” She hugs me, and I curl into her side. She’s safe and warm, but I still feel so empty.
Surprisingly she doesn’t comment about what I just said. I figured she wouldn’t be able to wait to pounce on being right about Killian. I guess Mother does know best.
“I have so much to tell you, but it can all wait till you feel up to talking. What happened to your hands?”
“I cut this one on some glass after a picture fell off the wall and well this one.” I flex my right hand. My knuckles are swollen. “I um might have punched a girl in the face.”
“Well I’m sure she deserved it. I’m getting you in to see Doc first thing tomorrow. I want him to examin
e your hands and test your blood. I think you have low iron or something.”
“I’m fine. I need to destress.”
“Fine, but he’s still checking out those cuts.”
“Okay, but I have a final Tuesday so after I see Doc you have to drop me back at the apartment. My car’s there and my phone. I don’t even know where my keys are.”
“Don’t worry about any of that. We’ll get your stuff packed up and moved back home and we can start hunting apartments in Paris after you get all your finals in.”
“Sounds perfect.”
It’s going to take me being halfway across the world to move on with my life.
I’m scared that no amount of time and distance will be able to repair what’s broken inside me, but I’ll try.
Chapter 15
Killian
A knock sounds on the door, and I pop up off the couch. Glancing through the peephole I see Liri shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot. I open the door and step off to the side.
“I’m here to change clothes and grab my keys and phone.”
“Do whatever you need to.” She looks like hell. Her eyes are rimmed with dark circles and her skin is so pale. Acid burns in the pit of my stomach. Something inside me hates seeing her so damn sad. I know it’s my fault, but there is nothing I can do to take back what happened. I got what I wanted. What I deserve. She doesn’t understand that it’s what’s best for her, but one day she will. I’m not a good guy. I don’t do hearts and flowers. I get what I want and move on.
“I’ll be moving my stuff out this weekend and you can do whatever you want with the apartment.”
“Liri…you can stay. I can stay at the frat house. You don’t have to move out. I can.”
“I don’t want to stay anywhere that will remind me of you. I’m not returning to Crestwood after this semester. I’m transferring.”
My throat feels dry. And I clear it. “Because of me?”
“Mainly.”
My stomach drops to my feet and I don’t know why. “Where will you go?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Fair enough.” I’m such a prick. I go into the kitchen for a water, and she walks into the bedroom. I can hear her going through the drawers, opening and closing them angrily. I know I owe her an apology, but there is nothing I can say that will help matters. Twisting the lid off my bottled water, I chug. Liri comes out of the bedroom with two bags packed weighing heavily on her shoulder. She appears so tiny and frail. There’s a bandage wrapped around her left hand, and I recall the glass I stepped in when I came back here last night.
“I was going to give this to you on Christmas, but I don’t have any plans of finishing it. You can keep it or burn it. I really don’t care what you do with it. I just don’t want it anymore.” She tosses a sketchbook on the couch. “Don’t be here this weekend when I come for my stuff. My parents will be with me, and I don’t think it’d be a good idea for them to see you. You can have the furniture too. I don’t want anything attached to you. And um if you could let your dad know, I won’t be working at the bar anymore.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Super.” She moves toward the door, and my heart beats rapidly against my chest so strong and hard I feel like it might leap out my throat.
“Liri…” I don’t know what to say, but suddenly I don’t want her to go.
She turns to me, and those powder blue eyes are so haunted I nearly drop to my knees. Pain surges in my head and I rub my temples. Confusion clouds my vision.
“Goodbye, Killian. I would say have a nice life, but I hope one day you look back and you remember what you had, because you’re gonna look for me in everyone who comes after me, and not a one of them will ever compare.” Tears glisten in her eyes, and something inside me snaps. “I was the real deal. I was your girl, but I don’t wanna be anymore.” Her words cut through me like a knife, and I don’t even know why.
I feel like my heart just broke in two. Pain slices through me as she walks out the door and out of my life.
The door closes behind her, and I go over to the couch and pick up the book she dropped there. The front cover shows us, sketched sitting in the clearing on Butler Road about to kiss. It’s titled The Story of Killian & Liri. My breath hitches in my chest, and my lungs burn with acid as bile creeps its way up.
My chest squeezes tight, and a lump forms in my throat. My head pulses in stabbing pain. I flip the book open to a random page. Pouring through sketch after sketch of her memories of us. It is our story. Every moment recorded with her colored pencils and markers. I’m drowning in the reality of what I’ve done…what I lost.
Me and Liam in my car at a red light the first time I laid eyes on her.
Our first kiss.
Some pizza place.
Spin the bottle.
A hotel room.
Our apartment.
It all leads up to the hospital and her by my side.
I’m a real piece of shit.
I never deserved her.
I never will.
My head throbs, and my vision blurs. I close my eyes and lay my head back.
The images from her sketchbook come to life fresh in my mind as though I am experiencing them all for the first time. Tears burn behind my eyes, and I hold the book to my chest. I want to rip out the pages and watch them burn. Burn her out of my mind and my heart because she’s back and the force of it…the force of her and the love she had for me is too strong to bear.
“You’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life.” Her words ring in my head.
Fuck.
It all hits me. Her haunted gaze. The night of the accident. The love I felt for her. The love I still feel blooms in my chest and dies when I think about what I did. I don’t deserve to love her.
Jackie didn’t touch me, but she was about to when Liri walked in the room. My stomach clenches. I destroyed the best thing I ever had.
“You traded all we had for two minutes of nothing with that whore.”
I gave up a lifetime of wonderful for nothing.
“I was the real deal. I was your girl, but I don’t wanna be anymore.”
Those words are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
Chapter 16
Liri
“Doc has been calling all morning for you. I told him you had finals, but he needs you to come into his office as soon as possible.”
“I’ll call when I get back to my hotel room. I just need to turn this final writing thing in first.”
“Okay. I don’t want you to stress or worry. I’m sure it’s nothing. I mean I am sure he would have told me. I am your mother.”
“It’s fine. I’m an adult, Mom. He can’t share that stuff with you. It’s against the law.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Theo has a thing, so Cooper is going to meet us tomorrow with the truck.”
“We won’t need one. I’m only taking my clothes and shoes. And my other small stuff. Killian can do whatever he wants with the rest.”
“If I get my hands on him…”
“Mom. Stop. I told him not to be there.”
“Good. Cooper wants to bury him.”
“Let’s not talk about Killian.” His name is so raw and bitter tasting on my tongue. I never thought this is how we would end up. I thought our love story was one for the storybooks. I was wrong. I was wrong about it all. Especially Killian.
“Cooper is excited to see you. It’s been nearly a year it seems.”
“I’ve missed him too. I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”
“All right, sweetheart.”
I shove my phone back in my bag. I keep feeling like someone is staring at me. I follow the source of the sensation and see Hayley sitting with Woodrow on the other side of the cafeteria with Ben. She gives me a sad smile and a little wave.
I pull my bag up on my shoulder and swallow hard. I should talk to her. I start toward them when Jackie slides into the seat across from Ben. I’m
going to turn around and leave but then I think she’d love to see me run away and hide. Screw her. She should be the one ashamed. That bitch lied to Killian and she even roped Hunter into her plans. Did they think they could break us up and what that we’d want to be with them? It’s sick. I’m disgusted by them both.
When I approach them, I hear Hayley say, “You need to find a different table, Jackie. No whores allowed.”
“Oh whatever. It’s not that big of a deal.” She ruined everything with her lies.
“No. I’m serious. What you did was sick. You lied to Killian about Liri, and you had Hunter go along with it. Maybe you should go find him and try to suck his dick. I hope your clit rots off.”
Ben cracks up, and my stomach drops. At the same time though I smile because fuck that bitch. Jackie shoves off from the table and bumps into me as she stomps off.
“Hey,” Hayley says.
“Hey.”
“Can we talk?”
“I’m going to see Professor Larson right now, but if you don’t have any plans maybe we can do dinner tonight? I’m leaving tomorrow to go back home, and I’m not sure when we’ll see each other again.”
“You’re not coming back next semester?”
“No. Um…I might be getting into that program in Paris.”
“Oh wow. Paris. That’s so far.”
“I need the distance.”
“Well yeah, dinner. Come by my dorm after you meet with your professor. I miss you.” Her eyes glisten with tears.
“I miss you too.” I sniff, feeling emotional. “I’ll see you in a little bit. Woodrow and Ben both gawk at me like they don’t know whether I am about to yell at them or cry. “See you around, guys. Stay out of trouble.” Ben jumps up and hugs me. “Oh. Okay.” I pat his back.
“You’ll always be my favorite drunk,” he tells me.
“Gee thanks.” I smile. “I gotta get going.”
“Sorry.” He steps back, and I walk out of the cafeteria feeling lighter.
As I’m walking toward Professor Larson’s building, I hear the familiar rumble of Killian’s Mustang. I suck in a breath and bite my inner cheek. Looking across the snow covered grass I see him leaning against the side of his car smoking a cigarette. I pull my hood up over my head and dart inside before he sees me. Seems like he’s returning to himself. I shake my head. I can’t care.
The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2) Page 8