I knock on the door and Professor Larson smiles at me from behind her desk. “Liri Hart. Please come in. Just the girl I was hoping to see.”
“Me?”
“Yes, I have an exciting opportunity I want to share with you. Just hear me out then take some time to think about it.”
“Okay.” I take a seat and hand her my final chapters for my writing assignment.
“This semester is one of my last. I’m following my dream and taking my publishing company to the next level. I’ve secured real estate and investors. You’ve been one of my most promising students. I’d like you to come to Chicago with me. I want us to make beautiful love stories together. You’d be given a salary and your own office. I want to hire you to be an illustrator. You have so much potential and talent. This could be the start of something big for you.”
“Chicago?”
“I know you have a life here at Crestwood and friends. That boyfriend but you can make new friends. Get a new boyfriend if you need to.”
I laugh at that. “Why me?”
“I see a little of myself in you, and if someone had come along when I was your age with this opportunity things may have been different for me. I like you, Liri.”
“Thank you so much. I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll come.”
“How long do I have to decide?”
“I’d like to know by the first of the new year. We open our doors officially in March, but I’m leaving after the holidays, and you could join me as soon as you secure an apartment. I know it’s a lot to think about. We’re starting small, but I think we can do big things.”
“I’ll be in touch soon.”
“Here’s my card. My personal number is on the back.”
“Great.”
I get up from the chair and she comes around the desk and gives me a hug. “You have a bright future.”
“Don’t give me a big head.”
We part ways and I let out a sigh. Chicago isn’t Paris, but it could be a fresh start.
I walk to the dorm I used to share with Hayley, and it feels like so long ago that the two of us laid in my small bed watching Vampire Diaries and giggled about boys. So much has happened since then. I knock on the door and hear her giggling on the other side. Some things don’t change.
“Stop it. That might be Liri.” The door swings open, and Liam grins at me. Red lipstick stains his jaw and the collar of his shirt.
“Hey, Liri.”
“Um. Hey.” I blink, and he moves past me going to the elevators. I walk in and Hayley is pulling her sweater down. “Well that was unexpected.”
She sighs and smiles. “You’re telling me. He came over to see if I had one of his shirts he couldn’t find.”
“That boy didn’t come over here for no damn shirt.” I laugh.
“Well he got a hell lot more than a t-shirt,” she says with a soft laugh.
“Are you guys seeing each other again?”
“Actually, we’re not. He has been talking to Beth. I think that’s her name, and I’ve been seeing Woodrow. I had no idea he was going to come over and when he showed up, I don’t know. I let him in and told him to help himself and he did. Just not to my closet.”
I shake my head. “You’re asking for trouble. You know that, don’t you?”
“It’s nothing. It won’t happen again.”
“Right.” I plop down on the couch next to her and put my feet up on the coffee table.
“Can I please tell you how horrible of a bitch I am and that I’m sorry for all the shit. I was a cunty catty whore who had no business doing you the way that I did.”
“You can.”
“God, Liri. I’m sorry. I wish I had told you from the start about Killian, but I could see the way the two of you watched each other, and I had never seen him look at anyone the way he stared at you. I didn’t want my past to get in your way, but it did, and I hate myself for that.”
“It doesn’t matter. That’s in the past. We’re moving forward. No looking back.”
“Have you seen Killian since…”
“A few days ago. I had to go by the apartment to get some of my stuff. I’m moving the rest out tomorrow.”
“So that’s really it? You’re done?”
“I have to be, Hayley. Too much has happened, and Killian and I are toxic together. We bring out the worst in ourselves and everyone around us.”
“For what it’s worth I believe with everything I know that he does love you or he wants to but doesn’t know how to.”
My chest stings, but I can’t go there. I can’t think about what could have been.
“Let’s talk about other stuff. How’s your mom? Is she still dating that plumber?”
“Yeah. Thanks for asking. She’s really happy. He’s taking her somewhere for the holidays, so I’m flying to Arizona to spend Christmas with my dad.”
“That’ll be fun.”
“I think so, but I think Dad is hoping to sell me on transferring to a college closer to him or the one he works at.”
“I’m sure he misses you.”
“I miss him too. A new start is tempting, but I guess you know all about that, huh?”
“I still have time to decide, but I’m done with Crestwood. This place isn’t for me.”
“You’ve got to pinky swear that no matter where you decide to go, you’ll call me, video chat, email, text. I don’t want us to lose touch.”
“I promise.” I stick my pinky out, and she hooks hers with mine.
“Good. You should go to Arizona with me. Dad will be working at his side job, and I’ll be alone.”
“Maybe. I’ll think about it.” My cell buzzes from inside my bag. Doc is calling me. “I need to get this. I’ll just be a minute.”
“Cool. Do what you need to. I’m going to get a quick shower then we can do dinner.”
I smile and swipe accept. “Hello.”
“Liri Hart?”
“That’s me.”
“Hi, this is Judy from Doc Callahan’s office. I’ve been trying to reach you about some of your bloodwork. When do you think you can come in?”
“I’m out of town. Can we do it over the phone?”
“We can but Doc would like to see you in office.”
“Phone is fine.” My belly does a flipflop. Killian probably gave me some nasty STD or something.
“Your iron is low, but he wrote you a prescription for a supplement and prenatal vitamins.”
“What’s that?”
“For your pregnancy to make sure you and the baby get all your vital nutrients. You’ll need to get in with your OBGYN soon.” I hear what she’s saying but the words sound like static.
Pregnancy. Baby. My mouth opens then closes.
“Miss Hart? You still there?”
“Uh huh,” I whisper.
“It says here your last period was in October. We estimate you are in your first trimester. Between six to eight weeks.”
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Th-thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Do you want us to send your prescriptions to your usual pharmacy?”
“Um no. Send them to…um the Cartwell Family Drug Store.” My mother never steps foot in the place. She can’t stand Mrs. Cartwell.
“Okay. I am faxing it to them now. If you have any questions or need a referral for an OBGYN please let me know.”
“I’m good.”
I am so not good.
I am fucking fucked.
Chapter 17
Liri
“Do you want to just go to Donali’s like old times?”
“Yeah sure. Sounds good.”
“You okay?” Hayley studies me intently. “You’re so pale.” Her nose scrunches.
“My iron has been low. That was my doctor he wants me to take some supplements. It’s no big deal.”
“Okay. Well you ready to go?” She runs her fingers through her blonde hair, fluffing it at the roots.
“Mhmm. Is it just us?”
“Woodrow and Ben will probably be there and Cassidy but no one else that I know of, but we don’t have to hang out with them. Or we can go someplace new.”
“Donali’s is fine.”
I shove my phone down in my purse and try to put on a brave face and pretend I’m okay.
It’s cold and snowy, but I need the fresh air, so we walk instead of me driving. Hayley is talking a mile a minute about how Christmas isn’t going to feel like Christmas in Arizona because she won’t have snow. I concentrate on nodding and mhmming at the right moments, but all I can think is there is a baby growing inside me.
A part of Killian.
A part of me.
Our love may not have survived, but it gave me something beautiful to hold onto.
We walk in and so many memories wash over me. Not all of them good, but all of them of him. Of Killian. We start toward the tables in the back, but I stop Hayley. “Can we sit by the window?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“I like seeing the snow,” I lie. I want to be close to the door in case I need to make a quick exit. We grab the table by the large picture window. I order a Sprite and Hayley gets a Pepsi. All the blood in my body has drained to my feet. I’m pregnant. My mother is going to kill me and then she’ll kill Killian. I’m going to be sick. I feel faint.
“Do you want to split a pizza, or you want a sandwich or something?”
“Pizza is good. Just order whatever you want. I’m not that picky. I’ll eat whatever.” I doubt I will eat at all. I should eat because of the baby, but the thought of all that grease right now is turning my stomach. “I’m going to go wash my hands.”
“Okay. I’ll do a regular pizza.”
I make my way toward the back where the bathrooms and pool tables are located. Hunter is sitting with a group of his buddies from the swim team. I try to pretend I don’t see him, but it does me no good. He’s spotted me. “Liri?”
I shake my head and pick up my pace. I’m so not talking to him right now. If he hadn’t lied to Killian, then maybe… No, I can’t go there either. “I have nothing to say to you.” He isn’t the person I thought he was. But I guess no one ever is who you think they are.
“I’m sorry.” He grabs my arm.
I glance down at his hand on me, and my skin crawls. “Let go.”
“I only want to explain.”
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. There is nothing you can say to make what you did to me okay. You were supposed to be my friend. I trusted you.”
I jerk away from him and he goes to grab me again.
“She said back off.” Ben and Woodrow get up from their table in the back and tower over him.
“Whatever. You and Killian deserve each other.”
“You’re a real asshole yourself, buddy,” Ben snaps as the bathroom door shuts behind me.
I sink down in the dirty bathroom floor, against the wall by the sink and wrap my arms around my center. I have no clue what the hell I’m going to do. I can’t go to Paris pregnant. I feel like I want to cry but no tears will come. I’m all cried out.
The bathroom door opens, and Cassidy comes in. “Shit. You okay?”
I shake my head. “Define okay.”
“Ben and Woodrow ran Hunter off. I don’t think he’ll bother you ever again. They kinda threatened to tear his arms off and beat him with them.”
I laugh getting a mental picture of them doing just that.
“Come on. You don’t belong on this floor.” She extends a hand to me and I take it.
“Thanks.” I dust myself off and splash some cold water on my face after washing my hands. I’m going to be okay. I have to be. My hand goes to my belly.
I follow Cassidy out of the bathroom and there’s a poster on the wall for the drama club’s winter show. They’re doing Chicago. I smile. Chicago does sound good. Hayley has moved to Ben and Woodrow’s table. “Sorry. Is this okay? I know you wanted to sit up front.”
“No. This is fine.” I slide in next to her and Cassidy sits across from me next to Ben.
“That punk won’t bother you anymore.”
“Thanks for that. I appreciate you guys. He really fooled me. I thought he was my friend.”
“Asshole is lucky he’s already hurt, or I’d kick his ass for that shit,” Ben mutters and takes a drink of his beer.
“It’s okay.”
“Let’s toast.”
“Liri, you want a beer?” Cassidy tries to hand me one.
“No thanks. My drinking days are behind me.”
“One beer won’t kill you,” Ben says, but I shake my head.
“What are we toasting to?” Hayley asks and fills up a glass with beer from the pitcher in the middle of the table.
“To Paris?” Woodrow arches a brow at me, and I nod.
“To Paris.” They clink their glasses together.
“Who’s going to Paris?” I freeze and everyone falls silent at the sound of Killian’s voice.
My heart skips a beat, and my stomach clenches so tight.
“Liri is,” Hayley sneers at him. “Sorry we must have forgotten to invite you to the going away party.”
“Can I talk to you?” I can feel those dark eyes boring into me, but I can’t look at him.
I stare down into my cup and swirl my straw around the ice cubes.
“That’s a hell no,” Hayley answers for me and squeezes my hand under the table. My knee is bouncing and forcing the table to shake.
Killian grabs a chair from the table behind him and pulls it up to the end of our table blocking me in.
“Dude, no one wants you here,” Cassidy pipes in bless her heart. She hardly knows me, but she’s sweet. I hope Ben treats her right.
“Liri, I merely want five minutes.”
I keep staring down at my drink ignoring him. I can’t give in to him. He doesn’t deserve a chance to talk. He’s had plenty.
“Please, baby.”
Don’t call me baby. Don’t call me anything. I’m not yours. I’m not sure I ever was your anything. A sob rips through me, but I don’t give him my attention. I can’t. I’ll break if I do. I know if I give him five minutes I’ll fall right back into old habits. I can’t go there.
“Fuck, man. Leave her alone. Don’t you see she’s about to breakdown right here,” Ben tells him.
Hayley wraps an arm around my shoulder and hugs me into her side like she can protect me from Killian. Nothing can save me from the path of his storm, I’m already in the eye of it. I don’t know why he cares. He doesn’t remember loving me. I’m nothing to him so why is he doing this to me?
“Five minutes, Liri. Give me five minutes.” He grabs my chin, and his fingers sear me. I jerk against him.
“No,” I croak unable to meet his eyes. I squeeze mine shut tight. I can’t meet those dark eyes that haunt me. The eyes that once regarded me with what I thought was love. There is no love. Not for me. Not for Killian.
His fist comes down hard on the table, and I jump when my drink spills. “Goddamn it, Liri. Just look at me.”
“What’s your problem?” Cassidy shrieks, and I wish a portal would open up below my feet and send me anywhere but here right now.
“Liri,” Killian begs and tries to hold my hand.
“Please. Just stop.” My chest heaves. “I…I don’t want to talk to you. Why are you doing this?”
“You love me. You love me, Liri. Look at me.” His words break me. I do love him. I love him more than he will ever know, but I can’t do this with him.
“Just leave me alone. If you love me…if you ever loved me, you’ll leave me alone.”
Ben climbs over Cassidy and pulls Killian up out of the chair. “The fuck is your problem, man. She said no.”
“I just need to talk to her,” Killian’s voice breaks, and my heart shatters hearing the pain that is laced in his tone. Could he remember? Does he remember, or is he only playing another game?
“Outside, man. Co
me on. Cool off and maybe she’ll give you a shot, but if she says no again in ten minutes then I want you leave her alone.”
Killian doesn’t say anything and follows Ben outside.
I feel like I can finally breathe once he’s gone.
The waitress comes over to our table with a rag to wipe up my spilled drink and replaces it with a new one. “Can I get you guys anything else?”
I need to get out of here. “Do you have a back door?”
“Yeah. Follow me.”
Hayley starts to get up, but I stop her. “You stay. I won’t be good company. I’ll text you later. I promise.”
“You better.”
“You want me to take you to your car?” Woodrow offers, but I turn him down. I don’t want Killian to pick another fight with him.
“No. You guys should celebrate making it through finals.”
“You don’t have to go. I’ll beat his ass if I have to.”
“It’s cool.” I wave at them and hurry to follow our waitress before Killian can catch me sneaking out.
I double around the block and take the long way around hoping and praying that I don’t run into Killian on my way. I can’t deal with him right now, and I am terrified of how he’ll react if he finds out that I’m pregnant. After the reaction he had about my birth control he’ll think I did this on purpose to trap him. I didn’t, but he won’t see it that way.
He can never know.
I make it to my car and when I get to my hotel, I take Professor Larson’s card from my bag. I flip it over in my hands a few times. Killian thinks I’m going to Paris and so does everyone else. I unlock the screen on my cell phone. “Hi, Professor Larson, It’s Liri Hart.”
“Liri, I wasn’t expecting your call so soon. Please, call me Carrie.”
“Okay. Carrie. I’ve made up my mind. I want to come to Chicago with you.”
“Perfect. I’m so happy. We’ll finalize the details after the holidays but welcome to CC Larson Publishing House.”
I let out a breath and excitement flutters in my belly.
I’m doing this. I’m going to Chicago, and I’m having a baby. Killian’s baby.
The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2) Page 9