Instead I pick up the paper.
Killian,
I will carry you in my heart forever and always. Your love changed me for the better. You taught me a lot about the kind of woman I want to be. You showed me a love I never thought was possible. I’m not ready to wear that ring and you aren’t ready to commit to the promises that come with asking me to. I hope that one day we find our way back to each other and that when that day comes, you’ll ask me again so I can say yes, and I can complete our storybook.
Forever and always, your girl,
Liri
I crumble the note, toss it in the trash, and immediately dig it back out and smooth the page out. I read it again and again.
One day…one day you’ll ask me again…
I’m ready now.
The pizza we made is still sitting on the stove. I grab it and throw it across the room.
It hits the wall with a splat and slides to the floor leaving greasy red and orange streaks.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I should have never gone to sleep. I never should have told her that I could wait. I can’t wait. I want to be with her now. Her place is here with me not Paris.
I throw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I grab my keys and my phone. I’m going to get her back even if I have to do it with her kicking and screaming. The leather seats of my car are fucking freezing, but I don’t care. I have to find her. I call her phone. “This number is no longer in service.” It has to be a mistake. She wouldn’t do that. Would she?
“You’ve made the biggest mistake of your life.”
“One day you’ll regret it.”
“Fuck me so hard I’ll forget I ever loved you.”
My heart pounds in my chest.
I’m going to find her.
I’ll drag her kicking and screaming straight to the damn altar.
Her mom mentioned a hotel.
I start driving around seeking her car out.
Her haunted blue eyes keep flashing in my mind.
I ruined her.
I ruined us.
I fucked up.
Fucking fuck.
I pull over and lay my head back. Scrubbing my palms over my eyes I try to think. Who else would know where she is? I try Hayley.
“What do you want?”
“Where is she?”
“Like I’d tell you.”
I blow out a breath and bite back the urge to scream at her. “I love her, Hayley.”
“You only care about yourself. The best thing Liri can do is get far away from your toxic ass.”
“We used to be friends.”
“Oh, go fuck yourself. Or better yet go find Jackie.” She hangs up on me.
I even get as desperate as to call Hunter.
“Seriously, why are you calling me, man?”
“You know Liri’s family. Where does her parents live?”
“You were her boyfriend. That’s shit you should know.” He chuckles getting far too much pleasure from this situation.
If I could reach through the phone and kick his ass I would, but I hang up. There is no use in arguing with that prick. I drive to the frat house and go to Liam’s room.
“What’s up?”
“You drove Liri somewhere the other night.”
“What about it?” he wipes his eyes and sits up in bed.
“Where?”
Liam licks his lips and shrugs. “A hotel.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because I need to find her.”
“You ever think she doesn’t want to be found?”
“Fuck off with that. Can you find out from Hayley what Liri’s mom’s address is?”
“I doubt it.”
“Just fucking ask her.”
My cell rings but it’s my brother. “What?” I snap.
“Mom’s in the hospital.” My stomach sinks to my feet.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She was driving to church and hit a patch of black ice. Spun her car out and hit the guardrail.”
“Shit. Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. I’m on my way there.”
“I’ll meet you there.” I want to go chasing after Liri, but I know if she found out I blew my mom off to come running after her, she’d rip my ass.
“If you find out where she is you better call me.”
Liam nods and grabs his cell phone from the nightstand.
She can’t fucking go to Paris.
We belong together.
When I arrive at the hospital my brother is pacing outside the doors to the emergency room. “What are they saying?”
“Nothing yet.”
I grip my hair and drop my ass into a plastic chair.
“What’s wrong with you?” Dillan sits next to me.
“Everything. I fucked up. I screw up everything. With Mom. You. Dad. Liri. Take your pick. I’m a fuck up.”
“What happened?”
“I lost her.”
Dillan sighs. “Give her some space but think long and hard about what you want and what she deserves before you go after her. You’re my brother, and I love you even if you don’t believe that I do. I want you to be happy, but it’s time to grow up. You don’t want to be thirty-five one day and still chasing an easy lay. Liri loves you. You couldn’t see her, but when you were in the hospital, I thought she was going to die from a broken heart. She wouldn’t eat and refused to sleep. She was terrified you’d wake up and she wouldn’t be there. I’ve never seen someone so stubborn. She refused to give up on you, so don’t give up on her.”
“I’m looking for the family of Diane Hendrix,” a nurse calls into the waiting room.
My brother and I both jump up. “We’re her sons,” Dillan tells her.
“Great news. She has a bit of a concussion but other than that she’ll be fine. We want to observe her for a few hours, but she should be ready to go home in no time. You can see her. I’ll take you both back.”
Relief washes over me but I still feel sick deep in my gut. Liri left me, but I’ll get her back.
I have to.
The nurse escorts us to the exam room where our mother is.
“Well this is a nice surprise. Both my boys together.” Mom smiles then frowns when she observes me. “I guess Liri wised up.”
“What? Why would you say that to me?”
“Because, I told her to find happiness even if it wasn’t with you. She’s such a good girl and God knows I love you, but you aren’t the best boyfriend. That stunt you pulled on Thanksgiving…”
“I wasn’t in a great place that day.”
“You think any of us were? You think that was fun for us? We did it for you. I knew your father was going to tell you about his cancer again. We thought maybe it’d help if we were all there to support you, but you lashed out like you always do, and you left her there to pick up your pieces.”
“That’s not what happened.” I grimace.
“Isn’t it? I had to drive her to her car. How’d you think she got home? You didn’t come back to make sure she was taken care of.”
I stare at the floor and my cheeks burn because I know she’s right. I’m always hurting Liri, and I expect her to forgive me.
Maybe she would be better off if I left her alone.
I go out to the parking lot to smoke a cigarette or ten. What I need is a damn drink.
“Son.” My head snaps up at the sound of my father’s voice. “How’s your mother? I came as soon as Noelle called me.”
“She’s okay. A little banged up but nothing too serious.” His features relax and relief washes over him. I snuff my cigarette out feeling like an asshole for smoking around him.
“That’s good to hear.” He leans against the side of my car. “Where’s Liri?”
“Your guess is a as good as mine, Dad. I fucked up. I hurt her, and I don’t know how to take it back.”
He scrubs a weary hand over his face. “You don’t want to hear it, but we’re
a lot alike.”
I smile. “Guess that’s why we can’t get along.”
“Probably. What did you do?”
“She saw me with another girl.”
He whistles, and I can see the disappointment registering on his face. Yeah, old man, I’m cut from your cloth. “She loves you. Give her some space then you do whatever it takes to earn her forgiveness if you truly love her.”
“How’d you get Mom to forgive you?”
“I didn’t. That was Susie’s doing. I knew I had cut your Mom too deep. So much was lost between us that I knew I’d never get back what we had. But Susie wasn’t ready to lose her best friend. Susie promised to never see me again, but your mother told her no. Said she wanted me to be happy. I know Susie loves me, but she’ll never love me the way your mom did. That love is rare”
“Do you still love Mom?”
“I’ll always love Diane. She gave me you boys and despite all my fuckups she finds room in that big heart of hers to still care about me. She checks in on me every couple of days and sends me care packages for my chemo treatment days.”
I nod. “Thanks for the talk, Dad.”
“I hope we’ll be doing more of this, Killian. I love you, son.”
Fuck. A stray tear finds its way to my cheek and I get choked up. “Love you too, old man.”
Chapter 22
Liri
“I can’t believe you don’t have the tree up.” I shove another cookie in my mouth.
“Well, I wasn’t sure if you’d come home or not, and Theo is with that woman. Cooper has invited me to go to Aspen with him. You’re more than welcome to come along. Cooper adores you.”
“So are you guys like a thing?”
“If you must know we are talking, but we’re going slow. You’ll remember last year Cooper stopped coming around. Now it’s not what you think. He found out about Theo’s affair, and he was conflicted because he loves him like a brother. They’ve always been close, but he’s always loved me too. He didn’t know what to do, so he stayed away and told Theo he needed to be honest with me.”
“Does Theo know about you and Cooper?”
“No. We’re going to tell him tomorrow over dinner.”
“Ouch.” I smile.
“You’ll be here.”
“He’s coming here for dinner to be told that his best friend is screwing his wife?”
“Liri!”
“Sorry, Mom. It seems a bit harsh.”
“Not really. He’ll be bringing Tanya. He wants you to meet her.”
“Stop. You can’t be serious. You guys want me there for all this drama?”
“Theo thinks that we can be mature and that we will still be able to do vacations and holidays as a unit.”
“What does that even mean? Are you okay with it?”
“I don’t know. I want to be able to remain friends, but when I first found out I was hurt.”
“Wow,” I mumble and take a drink of milk. Her husband has been screwing around, and she’s only hurt. I’d want to set the world on fire.
“What are you going to do for Christmas if you don’t come to Aspen? We could do Paris. I’ve not spoken to Theo about it yet, but we can make it happen.”
“I’m not sure. I may do something with Hayley. She’s going to her dad’s in Arizona, and I’ve always wanted to go.”
“That could be good for you. You should go.”
My brows shoot up. “Really?”
“You just broke-up with your boyfriend and who knows when you girls will see each other again.” She’s right. “We’ll still have time to go to Paris. I can fly to Arizona after Aspen and we could leave from there.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Did you ever talk to Doc?”
“Yeah. It was no big deal. He said my iron was low, but I was still within the normal range.” The lies keep rolling off my tongue. The more I say them aloud the easier they come. I’m lying to everyone to keep my secret, and I hate it. I miss Killian. I miss the apartment. I keep telling myself it takes time, but every minute of every day I’m not with him only makes my heart crave him more and my desire to go to him is intense.
“Oh. Good. See I told you that you weren’t taking good care of yourself.” Mom smiles at me. She has no idea her daughter is such a liar.
I grab another cookie and get up from my stool at the kitchen counter.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to call Hayley and find out when her flight is.”
“Okay, but you aren’t getting out of dinner tomorrow.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine.”
Up in my room, I dial Hayley but don’t get her. I send her a text instead and hope and pray that I’m doing the right thing. I want to call Killian, but I have to stay strong and keep my distance.
It’s for the best. I keep repeating the words in my head hoping that I’ll start to believe them.
**
“Liri, this is Tanya. Tanya, this is Liri.” I give the redheaded vixen a smile, but it’s only natural for me to think she’s a skank for going after a married man. I don’t know anything about her, but I hate her already. She broke-up mom’s marriage. I know Theo is to blame too but cheaters make me sick. Theo guides his mistress or whatever she is into the dining room, and I follow behind them awkwardly. “Didn’t know you’d be joining us, Cooper.”
“I helped Liri move her stuff home.” He smiles real proud that he was there when Theo wasn’t and his attitude is rubbing me wrong. Has everything always been a competition between them?
“Did you and Killian end things?” Theo didn’t know. Did Mom even tell him I was moving?
“Yup.” Thanks for the reminder. Not that I need one. I’ll have a permanent reminder in seven months. I hope our baby has his smile and dark eyes.
“She’s wanting to go to Paris,” Mom reminds him.
“I’ll handle it,” Uncle Cooper butts in.
“Liri’s my daughter. I think I have it under control.” The vein in Theo’s neck is pulsing.
“And you couldn’t show up to help move her home because you were busy taking Tanya and her sons to dinner.”
My stepfather glares at Cooper and the tension between them is thick. They angrily fill their plates with pasta and poor Tanya seems like she doesn’t know whether to crawl under the table or run away. “No one called me. If Liri needs me all she has to do is call.”
I butt in because this is going downhill fast. “Um…actually I don’t want to go to Paris. I received an offer to be an illustrator at a publishing house in Chicago.”
“CC Larson,” Cooper says grinning at me.
My stomach sinks. Did Cooper get me the offer? “You did that?”
“No, but I am an investor. Carrie is an old friend.” My stomach tightens. I thought I was offered the job for my talent. It all reeks of Cooper and my mother. Is there any part of my life they won’t try to control?
“Chicago?” Mom raises a brow at me pretending to be unaware. I want to believe that it isn’t another attempt for them to control my life, but deep down I can feel that it was a setup.
“Yeah. I know how you feel about me finishing school, but I think it could be fun.”
“Paris is your dream. It’s all you used to go on about,” Theo interjects.
“I know but my plans have changed.” I touch my stomach under the cloak of the table. I have someone else to think about now. I can’t afford to be selfish. I have to do what will be best for my child. My heart squeezes tight and my thoughts drift to Killian. He wouldn’t want this though. He said he doesn’t want a kid.
Mom frowns. “You were talking about Paris all week.”
“I changed my mind. Gee. Why don’t you share your news, Mom?” I smile at her wanting the focus back off me.
“What news?” Theo stares at her and Cooper smirks.
Aw shit. Why did I open my mouth?
“Well, when we spoke on the phone you said you wanted Liri to meet Tanya and for us
to all be a family unit still…I thought tonight would be a good time to share that I’m seeing Cooper.”
“What?” Theo’s fist pounds on the table.
“Don’t act like you care. You always knew how I felt about her, and you married her anyway,” Cooper starts in.
“Are you still in love with your wife?” Tanya shrieks and pushes her chair back.
“Theo will always love me. I’m his first wife,” Mom says with a laugh.
What the hell is happening here?
Everyone starts yelling and my head starts to spin. I can’t stand all the fighting. “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out and everyone goes deathly still and quiet.
“I knew that boy was trouble.” Mom holds a hand to her mouth and starts to cry.
Theo’s face is so red I am afraid his head is going to pop off.
Cooper starts laughing and Tanya smiles at me. “Congratulations, sweetheart.”
“She’s not your sweetheart,” Mom snaps.
“It’s okay. We can work through this as a family.” Theo glowers at me, but I can sense he is trying to hold back his temper.
“There’s nothing to work through. I’m moving to Chicago, and I’m going to keep the baby. My baby.” Cooper may be the reason I got the offer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take advantage of the opportunity.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t move to a new city alone and pregnant.”
“I’ll adopt the baby,” Theo announces.
“No. If anyone is taking my grandbaby to raise it’ll be me and Cooper.”
Have they all gone mad? “Stop. No one is taking my baby.”
“What about Killian?” Cooper questions.
“He doesn’t know. I’m not going to tell him.”
“That’s not fair of you.”
“He’s not ready, and I don’t want him to feel pressured or resent me for forcing him to be a father. I can do this on my own. I don’t need him or any man.” I glare at my mother. It may be unfair, but she has never stood on her own. Even now she’s already latching onto Cooper.
“Maybe I should go so you can talk about this,” Tanya says quietly.
“Yeah. You should go.” Mom rolls her eyes.
“I’d like you to stay.” Theo brings Tanya’s hand to his lips.
The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2) Page 12