Tier Trilogy: Books 1-3

by Cindy Gunderson

  Pictures begin slowly sliding across the display. Families. Farms. New technology. Nature.

  “We are still a healing society. We don’t have all the answers. Yet. But our numbers have increased dramatically in the years since these events. Our careful and precise organization of resources and terrahealing projects have resulted in increased resources and opportunities for all. We are still fighting to live longer, healthier, more meaningful lives. Tier 1 is where you will have the opportunity to continue to progress, not only individually, but together as a community. By committing to live within these proven patterns of success, you will be given resources and opportunities to truly become your best self.

  Your core needs will be met so that you can focus on serving others and reaching your highest potential. This, in turn, serves society not only in the obvious, tangible ways, but through what you create, what you think, and who you become. We are thrilled to have you here tonight, and we are committed to your continued success. Our programs will allow us to support and mentor you, as you learn and develop. Thank you for taking this important first step in a beautiful new path.” Grace smiles and steps back from the podium as the room applauds enthusiastically.

  When the noise dies down, she says “I would like to invite Kate Bailey and Nick Standeford to come forward and introduce each of our new initiates this evening.”

  This is it. I stand, and Nick touches my elbow to steady me as I navigate around the chairs. I remind myself that this is a service I am providing and nothing more. There is no reason to feel nervous in front of my friends and peers. The reframing works. Kind of.

  We had agreed that Nick would go first. He is charming, as always, and begins with a couple of jokes that pull a good response from the crowd.

  The first initiate is an eighteen-year-old with very impressive scans. The pictures I arranged are slowly scrolling on the display as Nick talks. I look toward the back of the room and see Eric giving me a thumbs up. Nick continues to work through the other initiates on his list, but then I hear his last sentence, and know it is my turn.

  My heart begins to race. That went a lot faster than expected. I take my place next to him and begin with Max, a 32-year-old man whom I have gotten to know fairly well over the last few years. I show examples of his expertise in engineering. Max is grinning at a table below, and I see many others in the audience sharing glances, obviously impressed with his work. He will integrate in no time.

  Eventually, I make it to Cassidy. I see her shift in her seat uncomfortably as her name is mentioned. I begin talking about her ability to nurture and serve, how strongly she is inclined towards caring for others and being a mother someday. I smile inwardly.

  Before the Crisis, these characteristics wouldn’t have been so highly regarded. I think of my mother. She taught me through word and example that these humble qualities are what society needs. More people who were selfless, who understand that their neighbors are extensions of themselves. Individuals who are willing to put in the work to watch someone, or something, grow.

  As I finish, people begin to applaud and some rise from their seats, looking toward the initiates. I will have to ask Shari and Eric how it came across, but based on that reaction, I think we did our part to begin their transitions on good footing.

  Grace retakes the stage and asks us to exit through the side door. For a moment, I don’t move. While speaking, perhaps triggered by Grace’s earlier historical account, I was overwhelmed with a thought that hadn’t crossed my mind before. I haven’t ever felt criticized or ‘less-than’ for following this path. I have never lacked for anything. My life involves sacrifice, yes, but not like Cassidy. Not like Max. My commitment to serve with all that I am is again deepened and rolls through me with intensity.

  Nick nudges me and we walk together behind the curtains. Then, in the dark, we somehow have to find our way back to the ballroom. We probably should have practiced this part. It’s pitch black and we giggle like children, feeling our way around looking for the entrance. Suddenly, Nick’s arms are around me and before I can react, he spins me toward him. His face is inches from mine and his energy is electric.

  “Kate, you did great. I just wanted to tell you before we go back out there. I know Eric is here and you will go with him and—well, I won’t get a chance to talk to you privately. I have loved these last few weeks. I love talking with you and hearing what you think. I love watching you with the boys. I love your food,” he laughs. “I know you’re paired, but hearing the heartache that you are going through has brought up...I guess, I have just been thinking a lot. You shouldn’t be alone. I want you to know that I will always be there for you.” My skin is tingling and the air feels slow and thick. I have to remind myself to breathe. He lets his arms fall to the side and I am at a complete loss for words. I have enjoyed the last few weeks, too, and I feel close to Nick, but my desperation for human contact and affection makes it impossible for me to think rationally.

  If Eric hadn’t kissed me earlier, I would be in real trouble right now. I have probably given Nick some strange signals with Eric being out of town. Has he wondered if we are splitting as a pair? Is he interested in me like that? Does he think I am interested in him like that? I can’t be. I’m paired, and I love Eric. I love him deep in my bones. Sure, Nick is attractive to me and fun, but that doesn’t come close to the intimacy that grows from years of growth and perseverance together. Serving side by side. Knowing every piece of a person.

  I step back. “Nick, thank you. I appreciate you and all that you have done for our family. I am so sorry if I said or did anything that gave you the impression that Eric and I aren’t planning to stay together. Our boys are so young— ”

  Nick cuts me off. “No, you haven’t given me that impression at all. I just...I know how difficult things could still be for you in the future with all of this pressure on Eric. I need you to know that you have me. I’m all in.” His lips brush my cheek and he walks out the side door that is now, obviously, right behind me. All in!? What does that even mean? All in for Bentley? All in as a supportive friend? I stand there, steeping in my confusion for a minute, attempting to compose myself.

  Standing alone in the dark I realize that I am not going to be able to figure this out in the next five minutes. Meanwhile, Eric is out there waiting for me. I hear the initiates on stage taking the Tier 1 oath. “...accept that where much is given, much is required…”. I burst through the side door and walk briskly down the hallway to enter the ballroom near the back. I sigh when I see him. Eric.

  Chapter 23

  As soon as he sees me, he rushes my way, smiling. We embrace, and in that moment I forget about the recent turbulence and all of the uneasiness that has become commonplace over the last few weeks.

  “What do you say we get out of here?” he suggests, raising his eyebrow.

  “Yes.” I agree immediately. “Do you have a different car here, or can we go together?”

  “I was dropped off. I was hoping to catch a ride home with you.”

  “Done,” I say, already walking toward the door, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. We are stalled a couple of times by people thanking me or recognizing Eric and wanting to discuss his research. Eventually we make it out and head down the stairs to the car request. I feel more nervous now than before I spoke. It feels like I am on a first date, but we’ve already used up all of our conversation starters. My blood feels electric, and my jaw is chattering despite the perfectly comfortable air temperature. Every move he makes sends my heart racing. Eric and I stand there, holding hands, and staring into the street. The car arrives, and Eric opens the door for me. I settle into the seat as Eric jumps in on the other side. As soon as the door shuts, he unbuckles my seatbelt and pulls me onto his lap. I laugh and then hear the sensor alarm, announcing that I am unbuckled. Eric reaches around me and re-buckles my seatbelt, then throws his bag on the seat to simulate body weight. He swiftly enters a code into the drive bar to manually indicate unsafe driving condition
s. The car immediately slows down by 35 MPH. Looks like our drive home will be taking a little longer than normal. I don’t have time to speak before Eric is kissing me.

  When we arrive in the garage, we quickly re-dress, giggling like teenagers, and try to make ourselves look presentable. It’s not really possible, but we make our best effort. Stephen and Liz give us a sidelong glance as we walk into the kitchen.

  “Eric! I didn’t know you were back, man,” Stephen says and gives him a hug, clapping his shoulder.

  “It was kind of a surprise for Kate. I have to fly back tomorrow morning after breakfast,” Eric says, grinning.

  “Well, we won’t take up any more of your time,” Liz says. “The boys did great. They will be so excited to see their dad in the morning.”

  “Thanks for being here. We really appreciate it,” I say as Eric puts his arm around me.

  “Our pleasure.” Stephen says as they put their shoes on. We wave as they walk down the steps.

  “They sure left in a hurry,” Eric comments.

  “I wonder why,” I say teasingly.

  I feel Eric’s hand migrating down my back and I reach around and grab it.

  “Not so fast. We need to talk first. Eric, I have been dying the last few weeks. I have felt so disjointed and alone. I know you can’t talk with me about everything, but you need to give me something. I don’t know what to think! I have been living in some weird sort of limbo, not knowing what was happening, not knowing if you were moving on…now this?”

  My throat catches, and I quickly turn around and open the cupboard to get a glass of water. I know it didn’t fool Eric, but I don’t want to cry right now. But then his hands around my waist, and I can’t hold it in. I turn and sob into his chest. He holds me, not saying a word.

  When I can breathe normally again, I pick up my glass off the counter and fill it. The water soothes my throat, calming my nerves.

  “We need to talk.” Eric states, matter-of-factly.

  “I think I just established that.”

  “But I said it now, so it’s official,” he grins. I’ve missed him so much. He turns on the faucet. “Seriously, Kate. We need to talk.”

  He tenses, and the worry and fear come rushing back.

  “Eric, if you are messing with me with all of this physical energy, that is not cool. If you have something to say to me, just say it.” I turn the faucet off and step back to look him in the eyes. He flicks the faucet back on and my eyebrows furrow.

  “Leave it on. Just in case.” He looks at me seriously, hesitating. “Berg has asked me to leave you,” he says under his breath.

  I stare at him bewildered. “What? Why would they do that?”

  “Whisper,” he mouths.

  “Do they want you full time at headquarters?” I say more quietly and start frantically wiping the counters.

  “No, Kate—”

  “We could move there with you if that’s the issue. I would happily change locations for my service—”

  “No. Kate. It’s more complicated than that.” He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I stop.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re a match.” He puts his hands down, defeated.

  “I’m a match? For what?”

  “For…” he sighs. “For Nick.”

  “What?” I look at him confused. “Nick says he isn’t looking for a pairing, and it makes no sense to run a pairing scan with someone who is already paired.” I have no idea what he is trying to say.

  “Kate. You’re alleles match for TSG’s. Berg initially told me there were eight matches in our region. There are actually nine. I haven’t been at headquarters to train. I’ve been there to be away from you. To give you and Nick time to get to know each other. To hopefully create some distance between us.”

  I am dizzy. I shut off the faucet and walk into the living room. Eric comes and sits beside me. We sit and stare.

  “I think we should go take a shower,” he says after a few minutes, pulling me up after him.

  We strip down and get into our cramped shower together. It’s difficult to move, but at least the close quarters make it warm and steamy.

  “Do you think we are being listened to?” I ask.

  “I don’t think so, but I have seen and heard some things over the last few weeks that just make me want to be careful.” He grabs the soap and starts scrubbing my back.

  “What kinds of things?” I ask. I haven’t ever heard of the committee violating someone’s privacy before.

  “Nothing I can really put my finger on. I have just seen how seriously they are taking this research. They fully believe that this discovery supersedes all individual rights. I don’t know if I believe that or not. Maybe I should? I watched them pull in those other pairs and completely turn their lives upside down. I experienced all of those same concerns that you brought up initially. It didn’t feel right to dictate how people will be living their lives from now on. I know we do that in guided ways in Tier 1 every day, but this felt more, I don’t know. Tangible. Real. More in your face, you know?”

  “I do,” I agree quietly.

  “Kate I am completely dedicated to this project. If someone would have told me that they found a pair, but one of the individuals was a mother and paired already, I don’t know that I would have hesitated to agree with the recommendations to pull her out of her pairing and start new. I am a hypocrite. I would have cringed a little, but I never would have stopped it. Then I find out that it’s you. My pair. Instead of complying, I find a reason to come to you and then tell you confidential information...” He rubs his face with his hands.

  “You weren’t authorized to tell me?” I ask.

  “No, of course not. This whole plan was in place to organically—at least on your side—separate us and then re-pair you with Nick.”

  I shudder. “Does Nick know? Do you honestly think that would have worked? What about the boys?” My mind is spinning.

  “I do think it would have worked. You would have hated me, but I think you would have needed a partner with me out of the picture.”

  “I don’t think I would have jumped into Nick’s arms.” I push away from him, hitting the cold, back wall of the shower. “Seriously Eric? And you didn’t answer my question. Does he know?”

  He pauses and pulls me closer. “Yes. He knows. And maybe it wouldn’t have worked. The committee seemed to think that your profile would be compliant with this strategy.”

  “So all of this interaction with Nick has been planned? Is he actually Bentley’s mentor?” Disgust wells up inside me. I feel used.

  “I honestly don’t know,” he sighs. “But yes, I think a lot of your interactions with him have been planned. The timing of the mentor match is highly suspect in my opinion.” He turns, and I scrub his back.

  “Why? Why would they do this?” I hear myself ask. “Why wouldn’t they just come to us and present the information?”

  “Kate, you know the answer to that. You are so loyal. You never would have gotten on board.”

  “Maybe I am only loyal to society. My genetics may code me for that, but how does anyone know what I am loyal to?” I ask belligerently.

  Eric turns and cups my face in his hands. “I know what you are loyal to.”

  I breathe deeply. It’s true. And Berg knows it too.

  “This doesn’t make any sense, Eric. Everything we do is to make our conditioning ideal—family life is central to that. Why would they rip our family apart to create a new one? If it’s just about genetic progeny, why can’t they artificially inseminate and we can raise more children? I know it’s not specifically ideal for us, but wouldn’t it be better than this!?”

  Eric runs his hands along my collarbone and doesn’t respond immediately. “According to the Committee, that isn’t better. They ran risk-benefit analyses for all of the potential pairs and cross-evaluated those results with personality markers. They did their research, Kate. You have to know by now how invested Berg is in individuals like
Nick. They represent our future. Not only genetically, but also in terms of the contributions they can make.”

  “You can’t tell me that Nick takes priority over you. Look at the contributions you have made—”

  “Exactly, Kate,” Eric cuts me off. “I made my big contribution. I am done, as far as Berg is concerned.”

  “Done? Being a father is as much a contribution as any research, as far as I am concerned. Did they factor that in?” I ask, my frustration palpable.

  Eric laughs, but I don’t find it funny. “I’m sorry!” he says. “You are just really cute when you’re mad.” He sobers up fairly quickly when he sees my face. “To answer your question,” he continues, “yes, they did factor that in. Young kids, with the use of reversal therapy and a new, stable figure in their lives, can recover from the loss of a parent fairly quickly.”

  “Tal is not that young anymore,” I quip.

  “Tal is not who they are concerned about,” Eric shoots back. This gives me pause. Of course Berg is mostly concerned about Bentley. And Nick. All my life I have accepted that priority should be given to genetically-superior individuals. But I didn’t see it ever working like this. Not with my family.

  “So, what now? What do we do? You have to go back in the morning, and I just...keep hanging out with Nick and pretend like I don’t know anything?” I say.

  “I don’t know,” Eric says softly, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m torn. On the one hand, I absolutely don’t want to lose you and the boys. I don’t know that I can lose you and be ok. These last few weeks have been torture. Hence the reason I am standing here. Naked. In the shower with you.” He gives me a devilish grin and I smack his arm.