Beautiful Pain

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  “I don’t give up easily.”

  He didn’t follow her, but he’d made sure that she heard him. This wasn’t a coincidence they met near her house. He knew her routine, her place of work, and where she lived. She got home just before half past five. Harry was going to come after seven so Sophia had a bit of time for herself. She was glad that she got rid of Mason, but she was sure that this wasn’t the last time that she saw him. Mason saw Harry with her outside the coffee shop so he could easily jump to conclusions. He could also know that she wasn’t supposed to see Harry outside probation. She thought that she had to be really careful from now on. Belfast was a large city, but she wasn’t anonymous.

  She had a quick shower, trying to forget about the unpleasant incident, and thought about Ramona. She hadn’t spoken to her for several weeks, as Ramona was away for the rest of the summer. Last night she had received another text message from Michelle asking if everything was all right. She also texted that she was looking forward to Sophia’s return, which sounded really bizarre. Michelle never expressed any feelings; she would never say that she missed Sophia.

  ***

  Harry was worried about his mother. She was too weak to get out of bed this morning. He made her breakfast and she went straight back to sleep. He thought about Sophia’s proposition long and hard. He never owed anything to anyone and he wasn’t prepared to take money from her. Maybe she was wealthy, but he couldn’t build the relationship on false promises. He spent a few incredible weeks with Sophia, but the time was slowly running out. They purposely avoided talking about Sophia’s plans. They lived in the present, but there were only a few weeks to go before she would have to end his dream and go back to her old life.

  He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how much he wanted her to stay, but he didn’t want to blow it. His gut was telling him that he couldn’t rush anything. The plan was simple, today’s dinner was going to be special and Harry knew that his aunt and cousins wouldn’t let him down. He wanted to show Sophia that if she decided to stay in Belfast she wouldn’t be alone. This was all part of his big plan, but he imagined that Sophia had probably already thought about it. He couldn’t possibly leave his mother and move to London, even if he wanted to he couldn’t do it and he was hoping that Sophia understood that.

  Harry made a few phone calls, Patrick still on his mind. His revenge was going to be sweet and filling. He still had a lot of good contacts in the city, even though he wasn’t dealing. His source told him that Patrick had a really good day yesterday and he’d made a significant amount of money. Harry smiled, feeling incredibly lucky today. His leg was still stiff, but he didn’t care; he jumped in his car, taking this opportunity to relax in front of the wheel. Harry knew exactly where he was going. Patrick lived in the east part of the city with a group of friends. Harry clenched his fists around the wheel, imagining what he would do to him if he could corner him alone in some dark alley. He knew that this was just too easy, and that’s why he thought about a different plan. The neighborhood was quiet, but Harry knew that at night that part of the city gave people the creeps and no one walked around here alone after dark.

  He waited in the car for a while until a black Punto pulled out in front of Patrick’s house. He got the text message a few minutes ago that he shouldn’t have to wait long. Harry thought about Sophia again. He wasn’t sure if he was going to share with her what he’d planned. He wanted to keep her away from that part of his life. He lifted his head and saw Patrick had just entered the house. Harry waited five more minutes before making the phone call. He hesitated for a little while, biting his lips. He ran his hand through his hair, thinking about the consequences. One phone call and Patrick was going back to prison. Harry shook his head; he was beaten up by Patrick and his mates because he refused to continue with burglary and assault. Now Patrick was going to pay for what he did. He reversed back, got out of the car, and entered the phone booth.

  “999, what’s your emergency?”

  “21 Elm Street in East Belfast, someone is dealing drugs in there,” he began in a hoarse tone. There was silence on the other end of the phone. The dispatcher probably already knew Harry’s position.

  “Drugs, have you got the name?” she asked.

  “Patrick Samson.”

  “What’s your name and telephone number?”

  “I repeat, 21 Elm Street, heroin and cocaine.”

  Then he hung up and jumped back into the car. His heart was pounding in his chest. Patrick was done, he just needed to wait for the police. He parked the car away from the alley where he could see exactly what was going on. He couldn’t stay long, but he was sure that this call wouldn’t be ignored. Patrick’s house was full of stolen goods. He was still dealing drugs and he wasn’t that stupid to drive a flashy car. He was trying to keep a low profile in his black Punto.

  He waited for the police for over half an hour. There were a few of them, but less than he expected. He had the perfect view from across the street, but he knew that he couldn’t stay for long. When Patrick opened the door he went pale almost straight away, and in that moment he realised that he was finished.

  Harry started his car and smiled to himself. His job was done here, now he had to go back home to his mother and wait for Sophia to arrive. On the way back he saw a few more police cars going in the opposite direction. He needed to thank his source later over dinner.

  “You should have never started with an O’Donaghue. It never ends well,” he muttered to himself, arriving back at his house.

  Chapter Thirty Four

  The weekend came, and this time Timothy arrived to visit Vanessa from Dublin. The reunited couple seemed happy, but Sophia didn’t ask Vanessa if she was back together with him, this time for real. She wanted to give them space, so when Harry suggested that she should stay with him and his mother until Sunday night she agreed. Tonight she was going out with Harry’s family for dinner. It was his aunt’s birthday and he wanted to show Sophia off to the rest of his family.

  “How is your mum?” she asked him after he released her from a very passionate kiss.

  “She feels slightly better so I think she will be going with us,” explained Harry, leading her into the living room. The party was in West Belfast with his aunt and two cousins, who Harry hasn’t seen for a while.

  “I don’t think that I should be going for this dinner, it’s your family.”

  “Don’t be silly, baby. My cousin called me out of the blue with this crazy idea for a surprise party for her mother. We normally see each other often, but since Mum got ill I’ve just been too busy. When I told her about you she demanded that I bring you,” he said, sending her a playful wink.

  Sophia nodded with agreement, although she wasn’t ready to be thrown into his family gathering. She’d already met Lennox and his mother liked her; for her that was enough. Harry was much closer with his brothers than Sophia was with her own parents. She dreaded her own family engagements that always used to end in tears and arguments.

  Close to six, Harry’s mother came downstairs looking pale. She’d covered her illness with makeup and her eyes gleamed with enthusiasm. Barbara hadn’t been out socially since she discovered the cancer and she was really looking forward to tonight. She smiled when she saw Sophia.

  In the past few weeks Sophia had been spending every spare minute that she had with Harry. She overheard Barbara warning Harry to be careful around Sophia a few times. She was still his probation officer. She’d told Sophia once that she didn’t want to see her son unhappy. Barbara hadn’t mentioned to Harry what had happened in the hospital, but after seeing them together nearly every day she muttered to Sophia that it was time to tell Harry how she felt about him. Both women had long conversations about the future. Sophia still hadn’t made up her mind what she was going to do, and she was honest with Mrs. O’Donaghue. She didn’t want to lead Harry on with false promises of happy ever after.

  “Sophia, I heard you downstairs. I was hoping that you’d join us toni
ght,” said Mrs O’Donaghue.

  “Caroline wants to meet her, Mum. Aunt Claire doesn’t even know that we are going to show up,” shouted Harry from the kitchen.

  “I know, I know, Caroline will love you, so will Eve. They are both in their mid-twenties,” explained Barbara, smiling. “I haven’t seen my sister for a while. She works in the hospital as a nurse, so she is really busy. Both of her girls are at University.”

  “So she probably would be happy seeing you there?” contemplated Sophia.

  “Yes she would. Lennox was always her favourite nephew. She always tried to straighten him up but Lennox is stubborn and he’s always done what he wanted.”

  “Harry took me to see Lennox a couple of weeks ago.”

  Barbara looked surprised.

  “Did he? So what did you made of my other son then?” pressed Barbara.

  “I am not sure. I don’t know if he is regretting what he did, but he asked about you and about a lot of his mates.”

  “The prison won’t teach him anything. I haven’t been out much at all and I should see him. Lennox is stubborn and he will never learn. You probably think that I am a terrible mother. Two sons in prison and one risking his life for me.”

  Sophia shifted her weight to the side. Harry had gone upstairs to get ready so Sophia didn’t have to worry about him overhearing their conversation.

  “I can’t judge.”

  “I have tried everything with Lennox, but he never listened to me. My other boy was the same. He told me that he wanted to leave home, so he went to Dublin to study. I was hoping that at least he could be the one with the degree, the next thing I know he ends up in prison.”

  “Yes, Harry told me about him.”

  “Come on let’s go, otherwise we are going to be late,” shouted Harry rushing down the stairs. Sophia nodded and sighed, feeling that she needed to finish this conversation later with Harry’s mother. She never had a chance to talk to her properly about her other sons. She didn’t want to disturb her, and besides she spent a lot of time with Harry trying not to lose any precious time that she had left with him. She noticed that he looked after his mother well, cooked her dinner every day and made sure that she was taking her medication. He was running the house and attending to his community service. He pushed away all of his dreams and aspirations, devoting his time to his mother.

  As they were driving to the restaurant, Sophia thought about their first meeting in probation. She never thought that she would be going into a family dinner with one of her clients. She swallowed the tears, thinking that there was only a few remaining weeks that she had left with him. Her head was a terrible mess, and her heart ached for the right decision. It was clear that Harry wasn’t going to move out and leave his mother alone, she couldn’t ask him to do that. Someone was going to get hurt. She still had a University course to finish and she couldn’t even imagine telling her Dad that she was going to quit Uni because she’d fallen in love.

  “Sophia, wake up my sleeping beauty we are here,” said Harry poking her with his thumb. She flinched, coming back to reality. She was overthinking the future. He took her hand and helped her to get out of the car. Barbara was hugging a young girl outside of the restaurant.

  “Right, sorry.”

  “What have you been thinking about?” he asked, taking her hand and pulling her towards his chest.

  “About us, Harry, about the decisions that I am going to have to make,” she replied not really sure what else to say. She knew that they both avoided talking about the future, about the end of the summer. Harry’s eyes hardened and he exhaled sharply, bringing her closer to him. This was a bad sign, but Sophia didn’t want to stay away from this conversation forever.

  “We had agreement, we don’t have to discuss anything yet,” he said, sounding uneasy. “Let’s just enjoy this evening.”

  “Come on, Harry, everyone is waiting for you,” said a young girl walking towards them. Harry smirked and embraced her with a tight hug.

  “Sophia, this is my cousin Caroline.”

  Caroline was nearly six foot tall, she had long red hair and wide, large bright green eyes. Sophia smiled and shook her hand.

  “Oh my gosh I am so glad to finally meet you. He is such an arse keeping you away all this time. I have demanded to see you over and over but he was so reluctant,” mumbled Caroline giving Harry a stern look. Sophia could hardly make out what she was saying, her accent was really thick. “Anyway, we can’t talk now, everyone is waiting for us inside, and I want to see her face when she sees you here.”

  Harry was just about to say something but Caroline was already following his mother so he took Sophia’s hand again and walked inside. The Italian music was flowing around the restaurant as they walked in. They approached the table and Caroline sang ‘surprise’ to the woman in her mid-forties who was study the menu intensely. She must have been Caroline’s mother because she looked exactly like her. She had the same red hair and wide green eyes. Sophia noticed that Harry had inherited his long forehead from her.

  “Hello Claire,” said Barbara. “We thought we’d pop in to wish you a Happy Birthday.”

  Claire looked bewildered and smiled widely seeing Harry’s mum. Both women hugged each other and then Barbara turned to face Sophia and Harry.

  “We brought Harry’s new girlfriend. I hope you don’t mind”

  “Of course I don’t mind! What are you even talking about?” burst out Claire, who sent a wink to Harry.

  “Happy Birthday,” said Sophia quickly and Harry handed her a bottle of wine with the card that they got earlier.

  “It’s nice to meet you, dear. Let’s just sit down so we can talk properly,” she instructed.

  “That’s my aunt, always bossy,” whispered Harry, smirking. Sophia sat between Harry and Caroline. “By the way this is my other cousin, Eve”

  Sophia nodded to his other cousin, smiling. They were soon interrupted by the waiter who asked for their drinks. Claire was already lost in the conversation with Barbara when Caroline started talking again.

  “So, Harry, how come you were hiding this beautiful girl away for so long?” asked Caroline, piercing Harry with her green sharp gaze.

  “We haven’t been going out long, Caroline, so stop your interrogation.”

  “Don’t you get me started! He is a terrible cousin and I always wondered if he would actually settle,” joked Caroline and sent another wink to Sophia.

  “So it’s good that someone finally going to sort him out,” barged in Eve, Harry’s other cousin. Her hair wasn’t red but light blonde and she was hiding beautiful amber eyes behind thick glasses.

  “Anyway, enough about him. Tell us what are you doing in Belfast, Sophia?”

  Here we go, thought Sophia as the questions began. She couldn’t tell them that she was Harry’s probation officer, it sounded terrible. She looked at Harry with panic but he seemed relaxed drinking his beer.

  “Sophia came for the summer to work with Probation and that’s how we met, but don’t mention this to your mum,” he said quickly, grinning. Sophia wanted to bury herself and die with embarrassment. Now they were probably going to think that she was crazy getting involved with a prison leaver.

  “Shut up!” hissed Caroline, staring from Harry to Sophia. “Probation, but why?”

  “Harry,” Sophia warned him, going completely red.

  “Relax, Sophia, my cousin isn’t judgmental, she knows everything about me,” chuckled Harry, seeing Sophia’s distress. “She was … well she still is my probation officer.”

  “No way!” fumed Eve while Caroline was in a state of shock.

  “Oh my God, this is so romantic, forbidden romance. It’s like a soap opera. Sophe, you have to tell us everything,” demanded Caroline. Sophia couldn’t help but smile “Now, Harry, leave us. Go and sit with mum; we are going to speak to Sophia alone.”

  Harry rolled his eyes, but he vanished and sat by his mother, leaving Sophia alone to deal with the awkward questions. Caroline
later explained that Harry always had a good relationship with her mother and he had a lot of catching up to do. Both Caroline and Eve wanted to know all the details, so for the next half an hour Sophia went through how she met Harry O’Donaghue. She wasn’t sure why, but her shyness had gone away and she soon told them details that she didn’t even mention to Vanessa or Ramona. She was always confident with interviewing clients at work, but the social setting wasn’t her strongest point. Tonight she felt comfortable, and for the first time she opened up to two strangers.

  “I don’t understand why this never happens to me! So what are you going to do? You guys have only a few weeks left together, right?”

  Sophia swallowed hard, playing with the fork.

  “I’d rather not talk about it here. I haven’t made my decision yet,” she sighed.

  “I know Harry, if he loves you then he won’t let you go. It’s as simple as that. From outside he is tough and never shows his emotions, but on the inside he is sensitive and protective. Before his mother got ill he used to come to me for tutorials, he wanted to go to Uni. He was really focused and wanted to stay away from trouble.”