Emerge into Forever

by Andrea Michelle

  His hands are on my hips, guiding me up and down. I roll them, which I find creates a friction I enjoy. Finding a rhythm of up and down and rolling happens pretty quickly. His hands are on my breasts and my head falls back in complete ecstasy. I’m so close, but he flips me over and takes control. We kiss and we move and we make sweet love to each other. This is beautiful. Thrust after thrust he makes me feel…everything.

  “I need to come,” he says, holding back.

  I wrap my legs around his back and he tucks his hands under my ass, lifting me and getting even deeper. It hits a spot and causes me to moan loudly. “There. Don’t stop!” He doesn’t. He pushes and I roll and it’s so perfect. My back arches and my hands grip my hair as I scream out his name. He grunts and groans and then falls on the side of me. I’ve never been so vocal before.

  My second orgasm has me feeling drunk on love, on him.

  “Damn, I need a cigarette,” he laughs.

  “It just gets better and better,” I add kissing his lips.

  We end up in the shower again where we work up yet another appetite. I guess that happens when you have been apart for months.

  CHAPTER 22

  A chain reaction in beautiful colors. Who would’ve thought she’d be the one to dominate me in the bedroom? I need repeats and more. I will never get tired of her or of this. Thank God, we have forever because we’re going to need it.

  I love waking up to her in the morning. I think it’s one of my favorite things now. How her hair covers my face and the scent permeates my pores bringing me to a sweet place where only she and I exist. The sweet almond and coconut scent makes me want to escape with her to some private island, hold her hostage where we learn every new thing about the other together. The way she snuggles into my side so cutely, so perfectly, like our two halves were made for one another.

  I’ve been lying here beside her wide-awake with a million thoughts racing in my mind. I can tell by the way she’s been breathing that she is also awake. We’ve spent two days in this awesome sweet place, but are we real yet? We go our separate ways again today. I know I need to tell her that I lost my scholarship, but I’m scared of how she will react. We’ve been through so much and this weekend has already been a roller coaster ride. How many loops are too many? How many stomach dropping falls do we take before one wants off, sick of all the highs and lows? The thing is I promised her communication and this is one of those major moments that we need talk through together.

  “I’m going to miss this,” she mutters as I spoon her from behind. God, me too.

  “I need to tell you something,” I blurt out before I get cold feet. Her body goes stiff and I guide her around to face me.

  She takes a deep breath. “Any conversation that begins like that can’t be good.”

  I intertwine our fingers and bring them to my lips. “I want to explain why I drank so much the other day. Why I blew you off the night before when we talked on the phone. Before I do, though, I want you to know that I loved when you sang to me and I feel the same way when we’re apart. I loved your email and I’m so glad that we are finally on the same page. I think that you and I need to start telling each other these things face to face, though.”

  “Well, um…you’re welcome for the song and I was just giving our Shawker fans what they wanted.” She winks, “You know my reply to your amazing songs. Can’t let you be the only one famous and shit.”

  I lean over to kiss her forehead, softly laughing at her. “Thing is, something happened and I’m not sure how you’re going to react when you hear it.”

  She sits up and pulls the blankets around her. “Seriously, Josh. You’re freaking me out. So just tell me. My head is spinning crazy webs here.”

  I sit up and scoot back to the headboard. “I lost my scholarship. They um…they decided not to renew it for next year.”

  Her mouth falls open, “Wha…What does that mean? Can they do that?”

  I nod. “Yeah, they can do that. They did. Apparently there was never a guarantee and well, I didn’t measure up to what they were looking for. My grades were shit and I was on probation most of the year. My head just wasn’t in the game.”

  She looks thoughtfully into my eyes, completely unyielding. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about,” I say holding her hands in my own.

  “Yes, I do. You were a mess and it’s because of me. Oh, my God, Josh, your dad is going to be so upset.”

  I pull her in between my legs and hold her to me. “I’m not worried about him. I’m more worried about how you feel right now.”

  She turns her body and looks up into my eyes. “Me? How come?”

  I twirl her hair and tuck it behind her ear. “Because pretty girl, this year was hell for you. I never should have come here without you. We were miserable and for what? I got nothing from it.” I explain, feeling so stupid. I knew better. I knew deep down my heart wasn’t in it and that I wanted to be with her. I went because I thought I had no other options when the truth is she was my only option because without her I am not myself. I am only half a person, half a heart, half alive.

  “Oh, Josh,” she says, turning around to straddle me, her eyes, grabbing at the deepest part of my soul. She grabs my cheek and caresses my face so sweetly, a gesture so genuine, so understanding. “Baby, don’t be sad about me. Yes, the year was rough for us, not just for me. It was for you as well. But it’s not for nothing, Josh. We overcame obstacles. We screwed up here and there, even this weekend, but we made our way back to one another. That’s something. We also learned what not to do and that we need to do more of. Like this right here,” she says, waving between us. “We’re talking to one another, not hiding things, but being upfront and honest.”

  I pull her into a hug. “God, I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She kisses the side of my mouth. “So, what does that mean for you exactly?”

  I sigh, running my hands into my hair. “Well, I’m off the team and without the scholarship I can’t afford to stay there and go to school. So, I guess I go home, or come up with another plan for my future.” I roll her onto her back and kiss her neck. “Whatever I do, I want it to be with you. Not without you.”

  She tilts her neck, giving me better access. “Mmm…that feels so good. Never without me again. We have to be together because I kind of think I’m addicted to you and this,” she says running her fingertips along my back. It drives me wild and so I feed her addiction and mine.

  We make love sweetly before it’s time to pack and check out of the hotel. In the end, I feel a little more at peace with things because it will never be the end for us. I definitely feel blessed because I got the girl. She came to me at a time when I needed her most. I can call her mine again, and no matter what shit’s been tossed at me, at us, this is the best gift in the world.

  “What are you doing?” Riley asks, grabbing my hand as I hand my debit card to the front desk clerk.

  “I’m paying for the room,” I state, pulling my hand free.

  She shakes her head. “No way, Josh. You had no intention of being at the hotel this weekend. This is on me. I’m paying.”

  She grabs her wallet out of her purse and I snatch it from her. “Heck no, baby girl. This is not going down like that.” I hand the desk clerk my card. “Run it.”

  “Josh,” she whines, saying my name in two syllables in a singsong voice. I pull her into my side, draping an arm around her shoulder and kiss the side of her head.

  I lean in to whisper in her ear, “You can repay me over Spring Break.”

  She turns to my front and wraps her arms around me, squeezing tightly like she never wants to let go. I never want her to, either. I kiss the top of her head, and then help carry her bags to Emily’s car.

  “Call me when you get home,” I mumble into her hair as we embrace one another.

  “God, I’m going to miss you all over again. This should be diagnosed an illness. I need a happy pill to tide me over for a few mon
ths,” she says with her voice all watery.

  Collin and Em are on the way out of the hotel toward us, hand in hand and equally sated but sad. I grab Riley’s cheeks and our eyes lock, unwavering love being communicated with just this one look. “It won’t be too much longer and then we can be together every day again, just like we’re meant to be.”

  She pulls me in for a kiss. A kiss that I feel in my veins, traveling at warp speed to the parts of me only she can reach. Her tongue tastes every crevice of my mouth. It’s hypnotic the way we kiss. I’m pulling her closer, feeling like we aren’t close enough, even though there isn’t an inch between us. Her hands are grabbing at my shoulders, on my cheeks, now in my hair kneading and wanting me closer as well. She’s moaning and leaning into me. Before I even know it’s happened she has her legs around my waist, and I have her pressed into the car. Never wanting to break this kiss. This kiss that has officially sealed our fate of forever together, I am hers and she’s mine.

  “A’hem,” a voice clears and the sound breaks our trance as we realize we aren’t in a private room right now. We’re very much in a public parking lot with onlookers to our make-out session. We pull apart breathing heavy in our lust bubble where I wish we could remain for just a little longer. She lowers her feet to the ground and smiles bashfully.

  “Sorry, um…I just wanted to say goodbye,” she says in a small voice.

  Emily starts laughing. “She never tells me goodbye like that. My lips are jelly.”

  Collin drapes an arm around my shoulder, looking between the two of us. “I’d say get a room, but we just left one of those. So uh…should we give y’all time in the backseat? I can remedy my girl’s jealous lips for a while if ya need.” He laughs and winks at Riley causing her to blush. She covers her face with her hands, and her head falls into my chest.

  “Oh, my God,” she mumbles into my shirt.

  We all laugh and then it gets real. She will get in that car with Emily and I will get in Collin’s car and we won’t be going to the same place. Not for a while again. I can’t confirm or deny that the four of us did this group hug thing before this moment of departure.

  One thing I can take with me this time that I couldn’t before is that she’s mine again. Riley is my girl, my pretty girl, my Tink — just mine. There is no more pretending. No more waiting. No more empty space in my heart because she has filled it so completely. The future has bright stars with forever written on them.

  CHAPTER 23

  There is definitely beauty in the breakdown. Josh and I have been through hell and back apart and together. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t being pulled away from me. No, he’s carrying the light toward me and it becomes the candlelight for us to dance. We dance beautifully, enchantingly. It’s a dance of hope, of promise.

  Saying goodbye to him is never easy, but I have a lighter feeling in my chest this time. The ache is less. The hole is not as wide with this goodbye because everything is different.

  I’ve come to believe that things with Josh will never be easy and carefree. We might always have these obstacles and hurdles to jump through, or over. We will have to work hard at being what the other needs and not reverting back to our old selves where we hide things and stay in our heads too much. Together we can tackle anything, though, and we will.

  “So, are you going to tell me about it?” Em asks me from the passenger seat.

  I’m driving first, which is good because I need the distraction after that toe curling kiss Josh and I had. I wanted so much more time with him. Two days wasn’t nearly long enough, not when we were rekindling the fire that was burning bright again between us. He has me craving him all over again. Damn school and distance and god-awful Monday mornings.

  I glance quickly at her and back to the road. “Tell you about what?” I ask, feigning ignorance. She always wants the dirty deets of what happens between the sheets. I swear she is more perverted than most men, but I secretly love it. Sometimes.

  She scoffs. “Seriously? The sex. It had to be like mind blowing with all the tension, anger and momentary hatred you two have had over the past few months.”

  I bite my lip and a tingle hits my belly, so I squeeze my thighs tight just thinking about the sex. God, we have amazing sex. It’s so…raw and primal and perfect. If I had known it’d be so damn good, then I would have demanded this with him so much sooner. He’s sweet and gentle when he knows I want that, but he’s also rough and aggressive when he gets impatient and I don’t mind that, either. He says things. He talks to me and tells me what he feels as he’s feeling it. I love how direct he is. Most are coherent and hotter than hell, but sometimes it’s just a muttering in between his groans. I never knew a growl and a moan would be so hot, make me so hot. Damn, I’m hot now.

  I clear my throat, refusing to answer that question. “Uh… What about you? I’m sure your sex was just as wild and crazy. One, you had the souvenirs to play with.”

  I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of kinky fuckery. I’m still very closed off and uncertain that I do things right. Am I touching him the way he likes? Are my soft moans loud enough, not loud enough? I’ve heard Em and Collin have sex and she screams his name. She screams, ‘Yes, yes…God, yes! More Collin. Yes, God. Harder.’ And I’m like, ‘Mmmm, Josh,’ in a soft moan while I whimper and ride the waves of pleasure quietly moaning and panting. I’m not loud and I’m not wild. Neither of us have anything to compare to, so maybe I worry about it for nothing. What I know is that, he’s good to me…so, so good to me. He makes me feel so many things I never knew I could feel.

  She ahhh’s—like literally say’s, “Ahhh, Riley.” It pulls me out of my head. “Collin is so much fun to play with. He’s dirty. Did you know that?”

  I inwardly cringe and outwardly laugh. “Uh, no. I figured he was, though. I mean he has handcuffs in his car and he has a dirty mouth, but um…I don’t sit around thinking about what Collin is like in the bedroom.”

  She laughs. “Well, if you did…ya know sit around thinking about Collin’s dirty mouth, then you would never want an Orbit gum again. Dirty mouths are the best mouths, and his mouth performs magic on me.”

  I roll my neck and begin to squirm, not because I’m thinking of Collin and his dirty mouth, but because she said magic. That is what I think of Josh’s mouth. Magic. I’m a believer. He has converted me. His mouth on me is utter bliss. I see stars in my eyes. The angels sing a beautiful chorus. I swear the fireworks pop in amazing colors in the sky. Everything in my body shuts down except for that one spot that becomes ignited in the most delicious burn, and the only thing to quench its flame is his tongue. His soft, swirling and probing tongue. The way it laps at me like a delicious ice cream cone in his favorite flavor. The way he moans in response to my reaction to him. How he stills my hips with his hands when I can’t help but writhe beneath his magical mouth, his gorgeous, talented mouth. He kisses my pussy the way he would my lips—passionately, thoroughly, intimately—bringing me higher and higher until I’m soaring. Oh, my God.

  I turn on the radio. “Can we change the subject? I um…so, uh…” I can’t think past what my need is right now. “I need to pee. Do you need to pee?” I ask her glancing to the signs on the side of the interstate for a gas station or something.

  She gives me a peculiar look. “Um…we’ve barely been on the road. We’re in Baton Rouge now. Like it’s been forty-five minutes, Riley. Did you not go before we left? You better not have to pee like every hour because we will never get home,” she gripes and scolds me like a child.

  I put my blinker on and take an exit heading straight to a McDonalds I’ve spotted. I have a scratch, I need to itch or I will never make it on this ride with her talking about sex. I can’t even for a second imagine touching myself in a public restroom. I’m just hoping once I get some air and use the restroom then I’ll be over it and so will she. No more inquisitions of our sex lives.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear ya. I drank too much coffee and all of the wat
er over that bridge made me uh…need to go.” I’m lying. I don’t need to go. “Nothing to worry your pretty little head over. K?”

  I pull into the McDonalds parking lot and head inside. I skid to a halt, in shock of what my eyes have found. My heart skips in my chest, beating wildly when I see Josh and Collin standing in line. What are the odds of that? He does a double take when he sees me at the door…just standing there…frozen and turned on.

  “Pretty girl?” His head tilts in confusion because why would I be here, right? It makes no sense, and yet we happened to be in the same place at the same time. My eyes are wide and his are blinking rapidly like he is trying to determine if he’s seeing things or not. He’s not. I’m really here. He’s really here. And I really want him.

  “The eff?” Collin asks, getting out of line and stalking towards me. “Where’s Em?” I point over my shoulder and he heads outside. My eyes haven’t left Josh’s. I can’t breathe. I’m…I just…I don’t know.

  Josh walks to me, his gaze unyielding, searching, maybe seeing what I want, which is him—NOW!

  The place is packed, it’s lunchtime, but I don’t care. As soon as he is in touching distance, I grab his hand and pull him down the hall to the ladies bathroom. He looks surprised, yet curious. “Riley?” he asks so cutely. I’m hungry. Suddenly very hungry for him.

  “Uh, what are you doing?” he asks as I pull him into the door, locking it behind us. It’s a one-toilet bathroom so I can lock the door and not worry anyone will interrupt, but I wouldn’t care right now if someone did.

  I was hot in the car, hot for him and just by sheer luck, he’s here now. I don’t need air. I don’t need to use the bathroom. I need him. The stars aligned. Obviously my luck is changing. He’s right where I need him. With me.

  “Shut up!” I demand as I kiss him. Slamming my lips against his roughly. “You’re here and I just want you.” I hike my dress up my hips and step out my panties, discarding them in the sink.