Without You
Page 20
“Do you know what it’s been like?” she asked from behind me.
I let out a sigh. “What has what been like?”
“My life without you.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes.
“It’s been empty, completely empty.”
I turned slowly and looked at her. “What? You just said—”
“I said, I learned to hear my own voice, Will. I learned to stand up and make my own decisions. One of those decisions is to leave UT at the end of this school year. I’m transferring schools.”
My head was spinning, and my knees felt weak. “Where are you going?”
She smiled as she walked up to me and placed her hands on my chest. “Where I belong. With you.”
I looked at her with a confused expression on my face. “Lex, are you saying…”
She giggled and nodded her head. “Yes, both Grace and I are going to A&M next year.”
I just stood there, stunned. “Lex, I don’t…I don’t…you’re coming to A&M?”
She smiled bigger. “Being without you, Will, is no longer an option. I love you. I want to be with you. When I’m not with you, a part of myself is missing.”
“Lex…” I pulled her closer to me and placed my hands on the sides of her face. “I love you so much. I’ve been so lost, completely and utterly lost, without you.”
I pressed my lips to hers, and we both let out soft, low moans. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around me as our kiss began turning more passionate.
“I need to feel you, Will. Please, please make love to me.”
I bumped into Banjo, who just turned his head and looked at me. I set Lex down and began unbuttoning my pants. Then, it dawned on me.
I shook my head. “We can’t. I don’t have a condom.”
Lex’s face dropped, and she slowly shook her head. Then, she suddenly said, “I have an idea. Help me back up on Banjo.”
A short while later, we were riding up to the barn.
Lex slid off Banjo and yelled, “Hold on!”
I watched her run up the stairs. I looked around to see if any of our friends were still here, but they had all left the barn.
Lex came running back down the stairs. She began looking around and then looked back at me. “Want to be daring?”
“Uh…how daring?”
She bit down on her lower lip. “Really daring.”
I shook my head. “No. I want to live, Lex. My life is really just beginning, and you want to end it prematurely. No, thanks.”
She laughed. “Come on, all our parents are up at the house, and God knows where everyone else is.”
I slid off Banjo and began walking him back to his stall. “Lex, listen to yourself. You want to have sex in your barn—the barn that is close to your house…where your daddy is…with his guns nearby. I want you, Lex. I want you real bad, but I’d like to marry you someday and have kids and—”
I realized what I’d said when her expression changed. I swallowed hard as I turned and gave Banjo some hay and checked his water before I shut the gate to his stall. I turned around, and Lex slammed her body to mine.
“I need you, Will. Now. I have to have you inside me. Please.”
“Shit.”
She ran her hand through my hair and tugged on it hard. I let out a moan and cursed my betraying body.
She pulled away and began climbing the stairs. She glanced over her shoulder and looked back at me. “Luke has a stash of condoms hidden up here.”
Oh good God.
“Lex, maybe we should finish talking.”
She disappeared as I walked back over to the barn entrance and looked out. I didn’t see anyone outside, but I could see people in the house through the kitchen window. I spun around, made my way back to the stairs, and then took them two at a time. I stopped when I saw Lex standing there, naked.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
“I’ll take that, thank you.”
“Lex, we were talking. Don’t you want to finish talking?”
She shook her head and placed her finger in her mouth. I looked her body up and down. I wanted her so damn bad.
She began trailing her finger down her neck, between her breasts, to her stomach. She finally stopped short of where I wanted to bury my face. She lifted her leg and set it down on a nearby bucket. Then, she slowly pushed her fingers inside of herself while she held up a condom in her other hand.
“Fuck it.” I quickly stripped out of my pants and boxers before walking up to her. I grabbed the condom.
She hissed, “Yes,” through her teeth.
I rolled it on and grabbed her leg. I pushed myself into her, and she let out a moan. I stopped moving, so I could just feel her warmth.
Her head dropped back as she whispered, “Finally.”
I began moving in and out, and we both moaned.
I need more.
“Will, I need more.”
I smiled, knowing we both wanted the same thing. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around me. I walked her up to the wall and pushed her against it.
“Yes, Will. I’m so sorry. I love you so much, and I never, ever want to be apart from each other.”
I pulled out and pushed into her. “Lex, you’re my everything.”
“Yes, oh God, yes.”
“I love you, Lex. Don’t ever leave me. Don’t ever leave me.”
She shook her head as she began thrusting her hips. “Never, Will. Faster. Will, please do it harder and faster.”
I closed my eyes and prayed to God I lasted long enough for her to come. I began pounding into her over and over as she let out one quiet moan after another. There was no way I would take her to that bed.
Hell no.
“Will! I’m going to come. Kiss me! Oh God, kiss me!”
When I slammed my lips to hers, she began pulsing around my dick and moaning into my mouth. She dug her fingers into my shoulders, and I was glad I had a T-shirt on still.
Then, I felt my buildup.
God, how I’ve missed her.
I pulled out and pushed in deeper, and then I exploded inside her as one of the most powerful orgasms ripped through my body.
I pulled my lips back as I panted, “Jesus…feels so damn good…Lex.”
By the time I was done, my legs and arms were shaking. Lex started kissing me again like she’d never kissed me before.
That was when I heard his voice.
“Banjo’s here, so they must have come back.”
Gunner!
My eyes and Lex’s eyes grew bigger as I quietly put her down. I took off the condom, tied it, grabbed my pants, and slipped them on. I looked around for a place to hide the condom, and I ended up sticking it in my pocket. Lex opened her mouth, and she made a funny face by scrunching up her nose. I shrugged and put my sneakers on as I listened to Gunner, Jeff, and my father all talking.
“I’ll text Will,” my dad said.
I stopped moving and reached for my phone as Lex began jumping up and down ever so quietly. I slid the volume button down just in time. Lex and I both let out a breath.
Then, she threw her hands up to her mouth. She began pointing down.
I looked at her and mouthed, What?
She was about to say something when her phone went off, and we both stopped and stood perfectly still.
“Well, here is Alex’s phone in the tack room. She must have left it,” Gunner said.
Lex quickly began getting dressed as I stood there, thinking of my last moments alive on earth.
They were good moments. I’m with Lex, and that’s all that matters.
“Let me see if they are with Luke and the others,” Jeff said.
I closed my eyes and prayed that fucker came through for me.
“Luke, it’s Dad. Are Will and Alex with y’all? Banjo is here in the barn. We found Alex’s phone here, too, and Will isn’t answering his phone.”
I held my breath, waiting and praying. I watched Lex slipping on her boots. She slo
wly stood up, and we stared at each other.
“Oh, okay. Well, let Alex know her dad has her phone, will you? Y’all don’t stay out too late. Okay, have fun, and be careful.”
I slowly looked toward the stairs and then around the loft. Where could we hide if they decide to come up here?
“Luke said Will and Alex are with them in town. Guess they all decided to go play miniature golf.”
“Will’s truck is gone, so it makes sense,” my father said.
I quickly pulled out my phone and sent Libby a text.
Me: Libby, I need you to pick me and Lex up, but take the old dirt road and meet us behind the barn at Grams and Gramps’s place.
Libby: Why? I’m busy.
Me: Bullshit, you aren’t busy. If you want me to live another day and not die at the hands of Gunner, you will come get us.
Libby: OMG! Y’all made up! I’m so happy. Okay, I’m not too far away. I’m at our thinking place. I’ll be there soon.
Me: Give us time to get out there. We’re at Lex’s main barn by her house.
Libby: I’m so laughing out loud right now. Y’all had sex in the loft, didn’t you? Who’s there?
Me: I hate you. Gunner, Jeff, and Dad!
Libby: You totally owe me.
Me: Anything.
Libby: I’ll think about it. On my way.
I looked at Lex and gave her a thumbs-up. She nodded and smiled. We stood there and listened to Gunner, Jeff, and my dad talk about some stuff around the ranch. Finally, they started heading out of the barn.
As they left the barn, I heard Gunner say, “All right, well, let’s head on back and let Ellie and Heather know that Alex and Will are with the rest of the kids.”
I walked over to the edge of the stairs and listened to their voices as they retreated away. When I turned around, Lex slammed her body into mine and started kissing me. I was instantly turned-on again.
“One more time. We can be fast,” she whispered after pulling her lips from mine.
I laughed. “No. Come on, we need to get to Libby.”
She pouted. “For a minute, I thought your life was in serious danger.”
I frowned. “So did I.”
She chuckled, and we made our way down the stairs. I peeked my head out and didn’t see anyone. I grabbed Lex’s hand, and we began running toward the ranch’s main barn. It was the original barn near Lex’s great-grandparents’ house, so it was a good couple of miles away from Lex’s house.
By the time we got to where Libby was waiting, I was exhausted.
“I swear, I saw a mountain lion.” Lex panted and tried to get her breathing under control.
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “It was a fox, Lex.”
Libby stood there, smiling from ear to ear. “Are we good?”
I looked at Lex, and we both smiled.
“We still have some stuff to talk about, but we’re better than good,” I said.
Libby did a little jump and let out a small scream. Lex ran up to her, and they hugged.
“Come on, ladies, let’s go play some miniature golf.”
“Huh?” Libby asked as she jumped into the backseat of my truck.
Lex let out a laugh.
“You don’t want to know,” I said.
Will grabbed my hand as we walked up to the Pirates Miniature Golf. I could hear Colt and Luke arguing about something. When Grace looked over and saw us, she smiled from ear to ear. Grace and I hadn’t told anyone that we were going to be heading to A&M next year. Only our parents and now Will knew.
Libby walked by Luke, who stopped and watched her. He looked like he wanted to say something.
Instead, he turned back to Colt. “You cheat, Colt.”
“I do not, you asswipe. I got that hole in three swings. Lauren, did I not get that in three shots?”
Lauren smiled. “Hate to say it, Luke, but he got it in three swings.”
Luke mumbled something under his breath and walked over toward the counter. “I need a Coke.”
Taylor walked up to Will and me as she smiled. “I take it y’all worked things out?”
I grinned and nodded my head.
“Good, ’cause you two being apart really sucked. I’ve never seen two people so in love in my life. You’re both really lucky.”
Will dropped my hand and pulled Taylor in for a hug. “Tay, don’t rush it. It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen.”
She pulled back and nodded. “I know. I guess I’m just waiting for that one guy who makes a difference. I sure haven’t found him in Fredericksburg or Mason, that’s for sure.”
I let out a chortle. “Taylor, you have plenty of time.”
She smiled weakly. “Yeah, I guess so.”
We spent the rest of the evening just hanging out and having fun. It felt normal yet different. Will and I still needed to talk about me going back to UT and him going to A&M.
I glanced over to Libby. She was listening to something Grace was saying, but she looked a million miles away. I decided I would talk to her tomorrow.
I turned to look at Luke. He was texting someone.
Probably his damn fuck buddy. I rolled my eyes and continued to watch him.
He seemed upset by something he had just read on his phone. He looked directly up at me. I smiled, and he returned my smile. His eyes seemed so lost and confused.
Tilting my head, I mouthed, Are you okay?
He nodded his head.
Liar.
I was going to talk to Will about Luke.
Libby let out a small scream at something Grace had just said to her, and Luke quickly looked at her as he jumped up. When he saw her smiling, he sat down.
Libby glanced up at me. “Y’all are coming to A&M next year?”
“What?” Maegan yelled out. “So not fair!”
I giggled as Will pulled me closer to him.
“Yep, Grace and I are both transferring to A&M,” I said.
“Ugh!” Maegan sat down and pouted.
“I thought you loved Baylor, Meg,” I said.
She let out a long sigh. “I do. It’s just…I miss y’all.”
“Think how we feel. We still have half a year in high school,” Lauren said.
Colt cleared his throat and looked around. “We need to make each other a promise right now.”
“What kind of promise?” Taylor asked.
Colt looked at each of us with the smile that I knew drove all the girls mad. He looked so much like Daddy with his dark brown hair, breathtaking blue eyes, and killer smile, and Daddy was so handsome. I would dare say that Colt was probably the one who all the girls really flocked to. His Southern charm was both a strength and a weakness for him.
“That we never lose touch with each other. I mean, I know the odds of all of us ending up in Mason like our parents are probably not too good.”
Maegan laughed. “Yeah…no, thank you. I have no desire to live in Hicksville anymore.”
Colt chuckled. “Let’s promise we all get together for a week once a year. No matter where we end up—near, far, kids, no kids—we all plan to meet for a week and just hang out.”
I smiled as tears began to fill my eyes. I looked around.
Grace had originally said she wanted out of Mason. After one semester in Austin, she’d realized her heart would always be home in Mason. When we’d discovered we had a mutual dream of owning our own nursery, we’d decided that we wanted to make that dream a reality, and Mason was the only place to do that.
Colt, Luke, and Will were destined to run the ranch. It was in their blood, and they would talk about it all the time.
I glanced over to Lauren. She loved Mason and helping her father with his breeding company. Since I could remember, she’d talked about taking over and making it even better. Scott and Jessie, Lauren’s parents, would love that.
Lord knew where Meg was going to end up. Her spitfire personality matched her red hair. She would never live in Mason or Fredericksburg, not even if someone paid her.
“Dude, I think that’s an amazing idea. We need to start that tradition this summer,” Luke said.
Will nodded his head. “I agree. We’ve all grown up together, and just because some of us are going to be taking different paths doesn’t mean we can’t stay friends. Look at our parents. Their friendships grow stronger all the time.”
“So, what are we going to do to start this new tradition?” Libby asked.
Lauren stood up and said, “The beach. We’ve always talked about going to the beach without our parents. Remember we couldn’t wait until we were old enough to go down without them? Let’s plan on it this summer.”
Colt walked up to Lauren, picked her up in a hug, and spun her around. Lauren was completely taken off guard, and the flush on her cheeks showed her true feelings for Colt.
“That is a great idea, Lauren,” Colt said as he set her down. “Hell, our parents all own a few houses right next to each other on the beach in Port Aransas. We can stay at one of the houses.”
“Perfect! I think we should ask the folks now. Lauren, don’t your parents rent their place out sometimes?” Maegan asked.
“Yeah, they do. I say we head back and start making the plans,” Lauren said.
Her smile was so big that I couldn’t help but laugh.
As we all started making our way to the parking lot, Will held me back.
I turned to look at him and smiled. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head and pushed my hair behind my ear.
I love when he does that.
“I love you, Lex. I’m so sorry I didn’t let you explain everything. I feel like all this heartache was my fault.”
My heart instantly hurt, and I felt the tears building in my eyes. “No, Will. It’s not all your fault. I’m to blame just as much. I came to A&M that day, and when I saw you with that girl, I let my imagination run wild.”