by K. C. Crowne
“He’s an angel,” Chelsea said from behind me.
I hadn’t even heard her following me down the hallway, but she stepped into the room and walked over to her little boy. She stroked his face and kissed his forehead gently, tucking him in nice and secure.
“He seems to be,” I said.
She turned out the light and we left the room, walking back down to the living room. I went to the fridge, opening it up and feeling ashamed by the contents.
“Would you like a beer?” I said.
“Ugh, no,” she said. “I’m covered in it already. Can I just have a glass of water, please?”
“Oh, that’s what that smell was,” I said, shooting her a playful glance. “Sure, let me get it for you.”
“I can get it myself, hero,” she said, waltzing into the kitchen. She opened the first cabinet she came to which held my collection of expired cereals. She frowned, closing it.
I reached into the dishwasher, grabbing a glass and handing it to her.
“You have a nice place, but you really need a woman’s touch,” she said. She took the glass and filled it with water, leaning against the counter as she drank it.
“And you really need some new clothes to wear,” I said.
She frowned, looking down at her shirt. “Yeah, I do. But everything I own is either covered in smoke or water damaged.”
“Give me a second,” I said.
I hurried down the hallway toward my room, and into my closet. I dug through my old shirts, grabbing a green t-shirt from a charitable basketball game a few years ago. I also found a pair of sweat pants with a drawstring on them. They’d still be too big, but at least she could try and tighten them up to fit her.
Even with her full breasts and curvy hips, she was still a tiny thing compared to me. My clothes wouldn’t come anywhere close to fitting her, but she didn’t have much choice.
I came out of the room and handed her the goods. She stared at them for a long time, as if she didn’t understand what I was getting at.
“Some fresh clothes for you. At least until we can get over there and see what we can salvage from your place,” I said.
“Thank you,” she said, letting out a deep breath. “I still can’t believe it. Do you know what started the fire?”
I shrugged. “Not 100% sure on it, but it appears some outdated wiring likely caused it. Especially since most of those buildings are so old and out of code. And once something ignites, —with old materials, it spreads like crazy.”
“So it didn’t start in my place?”
“Doesn’t look like it. You just were unlucky enough to live nearby, I’m afraid,” I said.
She nodded, her eyes wet with fresh tears.
“I’m going to change, I guess. Where’s your bathroom?”
I pointed down the hall, right next to her bedroom. She walked down there, slowly, and hesitated at the door, as if she had something she wanted to say. I watched her, noticing the soft curves of her hips as she walked and then felt guilty for checking out her ass in a time like that.
“I really mean it, Finn. Thank you,” she said. “For everything.”
“It’s the least I could do, Chels,” I said.
“Even after everything, you’re still so nice to me,” she said.
“You did what you had to do,” I said. “And as much as it hurt me back then, I knew you needed to get away from your family. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t follow you.”
“Yeah, me too,” she said, almost too softly for me to hear.
She glanced over her shoulder, offering a weak smile, before going into the bathroom and closing the door. I took a long swig from my beer.
There was so much left to unpack in my head, and I had no idea where to begin. So much history between the two of us, and yet, so much had changed since the last time I saw her. My head was a convoluted mess, and my emotions were all over the place. At one time, I’d have welcomed her back into my life with open arms, and part of me wanted to do it again.
But things were different. She wasn’t the same Chelsea that left for college all those years ago. She had a kid, a past I knew nothing about. And I certainly wasn’t the same Finn I was all those years ago. Working in my field had changed me, made me a bit numb. I’d given up on a lot of things I once loved - like cooking, and well, Chelsea - and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get those things back.
And even if I could, I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea either. Or that Chelsea would want what we had back in high school all over again. After all, she wasn’t the only one who’d changed.
This was temporary, I reminded myself. She’d only be there for a few days.
When she stepped out of the bathroom, in my clothes, however, my body reacted very differently than I’d expected. Her soft, wavy hair fell over her shoulders, and with the makeup washed off, she looked very much like the Chelsea I used to know, only slightly older. Her tiny body was devoured by my large t-shirt, and I noticed she wasn’t wearing the sweatpants. The shirt went to her knees, covering everything that needed to be covered, but still - the thought of what laid underneath that shirt caused a reaction low in my body. I had to adjust slightly, hoping that my shirt would cover the erection in my jeans.
“The pants were useless on me,” she said, her cheeks bright red as she walked down the hallway toward me. She didn’t meet my gaze as she handed them to me.
“You look fine,” I stammered. “I mean, just the shirt works. It’s good, I mean--”
Her laughter was music to my ears. She playfully patted my cheek with her delicate little hand. “You always had such a way with words, Finn.”
Staring into her deep, brown eyes, I felt myself getting lost in them just like old times. Her hand was soft against my cheek, and I couldn’t help but imagine what her lips would feel like against mine. Probably even softer. She stared up at me, her mouth opened slightly. Her tongue slipped between those perfectly pouty lips as she licked them. It felt like an invitation to me.
“We can’t--” I said, stepping backward until my back was to the wall.
“We can’t what, Finn?” she said, cocking her head to the side like an adorable puppy.
“We can’t-- well, you know,” I said. “This.”
“What is this?” she asked.
Maybe I’d read her all wrong. I probably had. Sheepishly, I ran a hand over my short hair and averted my gaze.
“Nothing. It’s nothing,” I said. “I should probably go to bed.”
“Oh,” she said. Her voice dropped, as if that’s not what she’d wanted me to say.
Maybe I’d read her right. No, it didn’t matter, I told myself. You can’t do this. She’s in a fragile state anyway, and with your past, you can’t risk this.
“Get some sleep, Chelsea,” I said gently. “You’ve had a long day, and even longer days ahead of you. You need your rest.”
Those were hard words to say. What I wanted to say was at the tip of my tongue. About how I’d missed her, how every girl I dated afterward had been compared to her and never seemed to live up to her, but it wasn’t right for me to invade her life like that. We’d been separated for many, many years, and she had just undergone a tragedy, I needed to put my wants aside and focus on the reality.
As hard as it was to say no to her gorgeous face, I had to.
“Yes, you’re right. I should sleep,” she said, clearing her throat. She headed back down the hallway to my spare room, and again, she hesitated at the door. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. She said, “Goodnight, Finn.”
“Goodnight, Chels.”
I tossed and turned in bed that night. Knowing that the woman of my dreams was literally next door, sleeping in the next room, made it hard to shut my brain off. I kept thinking back to the past - when I first ran into her my freshman year of high school and stared into those beautiful brown eyes for the first time. I was smitten from the start but didn’t make a move until months later.
I’d asked her to hom
ecoming that year. She told me she had a boyfriend. A guy named James, her lab partner in biology, I’d learn later. Once that semester had ended, so did their relationship. He moved on to his next lab partner, and she moved on to, well, me.
Kinda.
I couldn’t help but laugh thinking back to that awkward first year. I wanted to date her, she wanted to date me, but there was always some reason it didn’t make sense. First, she had James. Then I had Samantha, a girl who was more in love with her horses than she was with me, but she was pretty and nice, so I stayed with her because it was easy. But when we broke up, I thought now’s the time to make my move, I can finally ask Chelsea out. We were both single at the same time, and-- well, my parents had decided we were going to take a family vacation that lasted the entire summer. We drove across the country in a cramped RV and no Wifi or telephones. I barely got to speak to Chelsea all summer, and I figured she’d already be seeing someone else by the time I got back to town.
I was a mopey, moody mess on that trip with my family, something I regretted now that I was older. It was such a good experience to spend time together, to see the country, but all I could think about was Chelsea and how maybe that was a sign from the universe that we weren’t meant to be.
The day we arrived back in town, the week before my sophomore year started, I rushed over to Chelsea’s house. That’s when I met her parents for the first time. Thinking about that moment caused my heart to drop.
Her father was drunk, even though it was ten in the morning. Her mother was asleep, though I wasn’t not sure how she could have been sleeping with the television blaring and her father yelling at it constantly.
Chelsea wasn’t home. They had no idea where she was at or when she’d be back home, but she left with a guy in a car. A red Mustang, they said. That’s all I had to go on, and I assumed she had a new boyfriend. That I’d missed my chance.
But oh, how wrong I’d been. It would take a little longer for us to start dating - we were closing in on junior year when things became official. Another family vacation, this time, I asked to bring her along.
My parents were hippies, they said sure. Her parents couldn’t care less. And that’s the summer I discovered what love felt like. Being cramped in an RV felt less obnoxious with her at my side, even though we couldn’t kiss or touch or do any of the other things horny teenagers often wanted to do.
Until one night, when we were camping at the Grand Canyon.
Everyone had gone to sleep, and I snuck out of my tent to lay in the hammock, staring up at the stars. Little did I know, but that would be the greatest night of my young life.
I had been deep in thought, thinking about the universe, when I heard footsteps. Then Chelsea’s soft voice.
“Finn? Is that you?” she whispered.
“It is,” I said, turning my head and catching a glimpse of her in the moonlight.
She was so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful, and I was a big bag of hormones. So was she apparently? She joined me in the hammock, and while my parents and brothers slept nearby, we fooled around.
Then we made love. Quietly. And yes, until that moment, I had never known what the difference was between sex and making love, but with Chelsea, it was always so passionate and filled with deep, raw emotion.
Without realizing it, my hand moved down toward my cock. I was in my bed, but in my head, I was with her. I thought back to the last time we were together. Both of us high school graduates, legally adults, and knowing it would be our last hurrah.
Stroking myself, I remembered the way she rode me, her back arching as she ground herself against me. She was normally so quiet, but that night, she let it out. She cried out and dug her nails into my chest as she came, her pussy spasming around my cock as one orgasm after another rushed through her petite body.
I loved watching her come. God, what I wouldn’t give to see it again. Her face contorted into a look of pure bliss as her body shook and trembled with pleasure. That’s what I imagined as I rubbed myself, tightening my grip as I imagined her tight pussy clenching around me.
Stifling a groan, I came hard, shooting ropes of cum as I remembered what it had been like when I came inside her. With a condom, of course. We were always very careful. Now, though, I imagined it without a condom - filling her with my seed. Putting life in her belly.
It was all a fantasy, nothing more, but it brought shockwaves throughout my body until every last drop of semen was expelled from my body.
I laid there, motionless, and praying I hadn’t made too much noise. I kicked myself for losing control, for not thinking about the two people in the room next to me. I got so caught up in the memories and thinking about Chelsea, I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands.
Especially if she would be staying with me for a few days, I had to play it safe. Had to be a gentleman. I had to try and forget about the past.
Chelsea
Laying there, in a strange bed in a strange place, I struggled to fall asleep. My son was snoring softly beside me, safe and warm and probably in the most comfortable bed he’d experienced in a while.
Ever since we left his father, that is.
I’d teased Finn about his place a bit, but the fact was, it was nicer than anything I’d lived in here in New York. Our room was a good size. The furniture didn’t match, but that wasn’t something I ever worried about. I didn’t think I’d ever had matching furniture, and my last bed was just a mattress on the floor.
He’d done well for himself. Sure, he had some family money, but I knew Finn wasn’t the type to just sit on his ass and take handouts. He worked hard. He’d pursued his dream and made it happen. Unlike me.
Seeing him again brought back memories of a happier time. A time when I had hope for my own future. Before I met Rick, Ollie’s dad, in a bar. Before he swept me up in the dream life, promising me things I never thought I’d get to experience in my lifetime. Trips to Europe. Fancy meals out. A large house with multiple bedrooms and baths, big enough to raise a family.
Oliver was an accident, a happy accident as I liked to say. We’d talked about kids, but our relationship was still in the early stages when I got pregnant with him. I wasn’t on the pill, preferring to use condoms and trusting the older, more responsible Rick with my body. That was mistake number one.
Mistake number two was believing he would be a good father and husband, that I didn’t need to work - that school was just a waste, and since I was paying for it through student loans, he told me it would just make things harder on all of us.
I had a son to think about, after all. Would I really be able to go through residency and work the long hours required of new doctors? Would I be able to focus on my schooling and get good enough grades to even get into medical school with a baby keeping me up all night?
He’d convinced me everything would be okay, that I could rely on him.
And there I was, in a worse situation than my poor, depressed mother was in most of her life. I didn’t even have a home anymore. It wasn’t much of a home before, but now it was just a burnt-out husk that would be torn down. I’d never find somewhere as cheap as that, and thus, I had to face the reality that maybe I needed to go back home. To my parents, not Rick. I’d never go back to Rick. Not after we he’d done.
I drifted off to sleep to the sounds of my son’s deep breathing, unsure of what time it was. It felt like I’d barely closed my eyes when Ollie’s small voice called out to me.
“Mama?” His voice cracked as if he’d been crying.
I awoke instantly to the sound of my name and rolled onto my side. Oliver looked back at me with fearful eyes.
“What is it, baby?”
“Where are we?” he asked.
“Oh honey,” I said, stroking his face. “We’re at Finn’s place. Remember that nice fireman you met last night?”
Oliver nodded, sniffling as he did so.
“He’s an old friend of mommy’s, and said we could stay here for a few days,” I said.<
br />
“I want to go back home,” Oliver said.
“I know honey,” I choked up. “I’m not sure we’re going back there though. We’ll need to find a new home.”
It wasn’t the first time we’d moved around. My son had been shuffled around a bit. In fact, New York City had never really been my plan, but I had to find somewhere I could blend in, hide. And since Los Angeles was off-limits, New York had seemed ideal, even with the high cost of living. Now, well, I wasn’t sure where we’d go next.
It killed me that my son no longer had a home, or a place to feel secure. The last place had been home for the longest stint, but now, we were moving again, and I really didn’t think I could find something as cheap as the last place. We only got it cheap since it was run down, and technically, we probably shouldn’t have been living there.
We could probably find another place like that, in time, but did I want to worry about another fire? It hadn’t even occurred to me that it might be dangerous, and now that I knew the risks, I wasn’t sure I’d be comfortable sleeping in a place like that ever again. Not with my son.
I heard footsteps in the hallway, and I knew Finn was awake. I groaned thinking back to the night before. In my fragile state, I let myself fall into a fantasy where maybe, just maybe, we could be together again. Like old times. Like nothing had ever changed between us.
I’d been foolish to think that, however. And even more foolish to try and come on to him. I didn’t know the first thing about his new life. Obviously, he wasn’t married, but did he have a girlfriend? A nice guy like Finn had to have a woman in his life. I’d be surprised if he didn’t. He was always the most popular, attractive boy in high school, and now, as a grown man, he was even more handsome.
He had good genes, that was for sure. Chiseled features with deep set eyes. Hair only a shade or two lighter than mine, and eyes that were both gold and green at the same time. I’d never seen eyes like his before, and they followed me into my dreams for years after we split up. Even when I was with Rick, sometimes I’d dream of Finn.