Black

by Angelina J. Steffort

  It was difficult to hold his gaze. It was intense, almost burning.

  I couldn’t answer right away.

  “You won’t believe me if I tell you,” I challenged him, well-aware that I was at his mercy. He could kill me at any moment if he decided to. But there was something about the way he was looking at me for answers that made me confident I had a few more hours to live.

  “I have no memories of my past, Claire.” He gave me a look that induced pity. “But your face has been haunting my dreams.”

  I froze. He had been haunting my dreams.

  “You keep showing up and my dark dreams become bright and colorful. It’s like you own the key to a different me. Someone I might have been, but cannot find inside myself anymore.

  “Help me figure out who I am by telling me who you are.”

  I sat there for a while, letting his words sink in. How much could I tell him? Would he believe me? I simply had to try. I didn’t know how much time we had left before Jaden would wake up.

  “Adam, it is not important who I am. What is important, is who you were.”

  I drew up all the courage I could find and told Adam what he needed to hear.

  “Adam, you were born a hybrid. One of your parents was part-angel the other one part-demon.

  “Not too long ago, you were hit in a fight and part of your hybrid-being died.”

  I tried to stick to the truth as much as I could without exposing anyone.

  “That’s when you lost your memory. And when you lost your memory of your angel-past, you lost all memory of me.”

  Adam was hanging on my every word.

  “I was part of that angel-past.” I swallowed at the images that were flaring up in my mind. “I used to be an important part of your life.”

  “How important?” he demanded.

  “Very important,” I said quietly.

  “Most important,” Adam mused.

  The way he said it made me smile. It made him appear almost human.

  “Why do they want to take revenge on you?” he asked after watching me with tightened eyes for a minute.

  “I got away twice.” What was the point in denying it? “The first time I got away, another demon was killed.”

  “You killed him?” Adam interrupted.

  “No,” I had to laugh. “I am not that strong. I was being held and tortured to get to you. Someone else made sure I got out safely and disposed of Alabaster on our way out.” What had happened at the demons’ house seemed like a different life to me now.

  “The second time?” Adam wanted to know.

  “You stepped in before they could kill me.” The memory of the horrible night on the roof filled my head and I flinched. “I wish it had been me.”

  “That’s how that other part of me died?”

  I nodded, unable to speak.

  Adam’s hand was on my arm within a heartbeat and warmth spread through my body.

  “You would have given your life for me?”

  I nodded again, finding myself yet again incapable of denying him anything.

  “Who are you, Claire?” he repeated his question.

  The moment it was out I knew I would give him an answer, even if that would cost me my life.

  “I was your soulmate.”

  Adam’s face was serious. The hunger was back in his eyes. I felt it, too. It was spreading through my body like adrenaline.

  Something on the side moved. I made out Jaden from the corner of my eye.

  “Goodbye, Claire,” Adam said and removed his hand from me.

  Jaden leapt across the bed like an attacking predator, but all he hit was the empty spot beside me. Adam was gone.

  “Are you alright?” Jaden asked as he rolled over and sat beside me. “Did he hurt you?”

  If Jaden had experienced any of the scene that had been going on a minute earlier, he wouldn’t ask. He would know that Adam wasn’t going to hurt me—not if it was up to him.

  I shrugged. He was the one we should be worried about, as he was the one Adam had attacked.

  “Are you?”

  “Fine,” he reassured me with a glance down his chest. “Where did he go?”

  Both our eyes automatically searched the part of the bed which had been filled with Adam, and found empty sheets.

  Naturally, none of the Gallagers were happy about Adam’s disappearance. Chris was especially affected. He had been counting on having a little more time with his son.

  “He has amnesia,” I repeated for the third or fourth time. “I believe him. He can’t remember who I am.”

  If there was any memory of us left in him, he wouldn’t have left. He would be with me, holding me, kissing me. He wasn’t.

  Ben carried a plate of toast to the kitchen table while Jenna and Chris were placing cutlery between the dishes.

  The Gallagers had decided it was time to send Geoffrey on vacation for a while. Too much was going on and they couldn’t risk that he found out about the family secret.

  Thinking about the kind man, I couldn’t imagine he was suspecting anything. It was right they had taken precautions to eliminate risk for him.

  He would be visiting his nephew in Seattle for two weeks. Enough time for things to turn either direction.

  “We need to get him back.” It was Jenna.

  Chris nodded.

  While they were discussing ways to track Adam and bring him back, my thoughts took a different direction. I felt Adam’s hands on my arms again, the way he had looked at me, as if I had the answers to all his questions.

  “Something really strange happened when he was touching me,” I remembered aloud. An image of Adam’s hungry eyes and my own craving flared up in my head.

  I gave a brief summary of what had happened, watching Jaden’s mouth open in astonishment as I proceeded.

  “This is unexpected,” he commented on my revelation. “I have never heard about anything like it.”

  Ben gazed at me over a slice of toast. There was a heaviness to his look that made me want to hug him. It must be difficult for him to learn so much bad news about his brother.

  I smiled at him in a pang of sympathy. Ben didn’t return the smile. He speared the butter with his knife and spread it on his bread with his full attention.

  By now I had gotten used to being readable to everyone in the room. But the way my body had reacted to Adam’s touch—like it had been mimicking his emotions, his sensations and his desires. That was something entirely new to me.

  “It is like a connection that surpasses death—considering Adam’s angel-self is dead, and so is his human-self.

  “Maybe it’s time we bring in someone who has recently helped us,” Jaden completed his thoughts with a serious look in my direction.

  There was only one person who I could think of who this applied to—Liz.

  When we filled in the others on the plan to involve Liz to find out more about this strange connection between Adam and me, I could already see it in their faces. They were hoping—what ever this connection was—that it would eventually lead us to Adam.

  It wasn’t much later that we were walking up the stairs to the library. The street behind us was busy with Monday morning traffic.

  It was before opening hours. We would stop by briefly to get the facts we needed, and then head off to school. I simply couldn’t afford to miss any more days.

  I pulled out the keys.

  When we walked through the entrance door, Liz was standing behind the counter, typing on her phone while balancing a cup of coffee in one hand.

  “Hi, Liz,” I tore her from her activities.

  “Good morning,” she looked up, her expression full of pre-caffeine disapproval and post-weekend grogginess.

  “It’s Monday, Claire,” Liz questioned my entrance. “What are you doing here?”

  Her voice was concerned as she watched me approach the counter, but her bronze face lit up with a broad and knowing smile the second she noticed Jaden beside me.

  He had
turned into a fifty-something in the car on our way here.

  Why? I had asked him.

  To get the right answers even faster, he had informed me with an insightful expression.

  I had refrained from asking further questions. I was sure he had a plan. He always did. If appearing as somebody who could be my father worked, then so be it.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Martinez,” Jaden fashioned one of his brightest smiles.

  Liz lowered her coffee cup to the counter and straightened out her maroon sheath dress. Her black hair hid her face when she looked down to check the flowers on the narrow belt.

  “Please, call me Liz.”

  “Very well, Liz. Jaden Ableton.” Jaden shook her hand slowly.

  I watched Liz stare at Jaden for a moment before I dared interrupt.

  “Liz, do you have a minute?”

  She tore her gaze away from Jaden and gave me her full attention. She probably saw the questions in my face.

  “What’s the matter, Claire?” Liz wanted to know. “Judging by your out-of-schedule appearance, there is something you need my help with. Am I right?” She was the bold Latina I remembered.

  She leaned back against the counter, and folded her arms, waiting to hear our request.

  “Liz,” Jaden took over. “We are so entirely grateful for your help with Chris Gallager.” He thanked her.

  “He knows?” Liz asked me without taking her eyes off Jaden, her face suddenly blank.

  “He does.” I was tired and wanted to get this over with, so I didn’t care much for formalities. After all the knowledge we had shared, I knew I could trust Liz with Jaden’s secret.

  “I know more than you can imagine,” Jaden beat me to it. “Thank you for so effectively protecting our secrets and for guarding our history.”

  Liz’ eyes widened in awe when she realized what his words meant. She dropped her head to her chest, bowing to Jaden.

  “It’s an honor, Mr. Ableton.”

  Jaden lay one finger under her chin and lifted up her head. “The honor is mine. Please know that your work and your loyalty to the The Guard are seen and appreciated.”

  Liz’ cheeks blushed. I couldn’t tell if she had ever met an angel before, but it was obvious how devoted she was to her job in the secret organization.

  “Everything you told me about the meditation worked, Liz. Chris is fine.” I let her know that she had helped us a great deal.

  Liz turned to me and smiled the smile of a blind believer who had been rewarded with sight.

  “What can I help you with?” She checked her watch. “We have forty minutes before business hours. Coffee?”

  She still looked slightly dazed when she led us to the small kitchen in the back.

  “Well, there is an issue we need your opinion on,” Jaden started.

  Liz listened to him while getting us a fresh cup of coffee.

  “We recently got into a situation that requires knowledge about a particular type of hybrid. What do you know about angel-demon hybrids?”

  She looked at our expectant faces and held out our cups. “I know all the literature by heart. You need to give me more context.”

  Jaden gave me an unreadable look.

  “The second Gallager son returned from the dead,” he filled Liz in. “We found out that he must have demonic heritage. He returned as one of them. To make things worse, he is suffering from amnesia.

  “But there is one thing that is particularly disturbing about the situation—”

  I flinched at his phrasing.

  “—he has a connection to Claire we don’t fully understand. When he touched her, she felt his hunger for her soul and she got the same craving.”

  Liz was inhaling every word Jaden was speaking. The way her eyebrows were knitting together let me guess that she was searching her memory for related knowledge. What I couldn’t guess was if she was finding anything.

  “I’ve also seen him during meditation,” I completed the information. “I’ve had dreams about him that seemed real.”

  She took a sip of coffee. “That’s an interesting twist.”

  “You’ve heard about those connections?” Jaden’s voice was hopeful.

  “I have read about them.” Liz’ mind was still working hard to retrieve every piece that might help us. “Angel-demon hybrids. When their good half dies, their mark doesn’t get lost. The connection transforms.”

  She sounded like she was reading from a book, her eyes going back and forth like rushing over lines.

  “Part of the hybrid’s soul remains in the mark. This part keeps looking for a way to heal. It feels the darkness its original owner dives into once the hybrid transforms into a demon.

  “Claire, have you felt anything before Adam touched you?” She interrupted her lecture.

  “I have.” I nodded eagerly. “I have woken up from dreams on adrenaline rushes. I have felt exploding energy while seeing visions of him during meditation—”

  “That’s the type of thing I was looking for,” Liz interrupted.

  Jaden was leaning against the fridge, obviously amazed by how Liz’ mind worked.

  “Contextus Daemonicus,” she chanted in amazement.

  Question marks were floating from my eyes.

  “Contextus Daemonicus. It’s a theory. If a hybrid looses their angel-part, the connection stays intact, but changes, as with the angel-part’s death, the soul dies.

  “The theory says that the connection doesn’t happen by choice, but by a prior Contextus Angelicus, or the mark, as you call it.”

  “What’s the difference?” I voiced my confusion.

  Jaden straightened up a little. He, too, seemed to have questions.

  “Contextus Angelicus is a connection caused by the mutual exchange of a fraction of both sides souls. It is triggered by the first wings-spreading of a newborn angel,” Liz answered my question

  I remembered the moment Adam had marked me. The white light radiating from within him, the glowing eyes, bright-green, and the beautiful pair of white wings. My chest tightened. I would never see this glorious version of Adam ever again.

  “The Contextus Angelicus is pure. It doesn’t hurt either involved party. But there are drawbacks—you have experienced what it means when the mark is being abused to get hold of the corresponding angel.” She looked me deep in the eye.

  I raised an eyebrow and nodded my head. I did know. I had experienced it for myself when Alabaster and his subordinates had tortured me to get to Adam.

  Jaden crossed the narrow kitchen in two quick strides and wrapped one consoling arm around me. Of course he had read my emotions. If he put two and two together he would know exactly where my mind was.

  His hand squeezed my arm and my head automatically dropped against his shoulder.

  Liz eyed us for a moment. I wasn’t sure what the scene looked like to her—

  “The Contextus Angelicus binds both parties to each other, but it doesn’t burden them. It makes them stronger,” Liz picked up where she had interrupted her explanation.

  “The Contextus Daemonicus, on the other hand, would be a residue of the Contextus Angelicus. It is an escalation of the former angel’s—now demon—search to regain his missing other half. Of course his own soul is gone, but there is a fraction still alive on this planet; it is preserved in the mark.

  “The second the residual soul senses the existence of the former angel, it will reach out. It normally happens in dreams.”

  “Or meditations,” Jaden interrupted.

  Liz nodded. “It is the soul’s ultimate call for reunion.”

  “This sounds good. I am waiting for the catch.” I lifted my head from Jaden’s shoulder and took a sip of coffee.

  “Well, there is.” Liz gave me a serious look.

  I gulped the coffee down, preparing myself for what ever was about to come.

  “The Contextus Daemonicus starts off as harmless dreams for both sides. When ignored, it can become daydreams or visions.

  “The
scary thing about it is that everything is real. What ever the demon feels or does, there is an increasing chance, as time progresses, that the mark will feel everything.”

  “Makes sense,” Jaden accepted Liz’ explanation. “Whenever Adam was feeding, you were able to feel it. It is like a rush of energy. Or adrenaline. All the force of his demonic powers. You know, like at school, when you almost fainted...”

  The thought of that experience made my knees shaky. Jaden pulled me tighter to steady me.

  I remembered the adrenaline rush, the energy—I was grateful he left the part about my steamy dreams out of the conversation. There had been so many times I had felt Adam. It had felt real. Now, if their theory was correct, it meant it was.

  “Your souls are still interlaced. Even if the part of his soul that had remained in his body is dead, the part that lives inside of you is looking for a way home.”

  Liz nodded as Jaden continued her thoughts.

  “You two are probably the only pair being connected like this. It is unique.” Her eyes popped with excitement.

  Now I felt more like a science project. But she seemed to have struck a cord with Jaden.

  “I have seen that angels’ marks suffer when their angels get killed. I have seen them go insane—”

  Jaden looked at her, then eyed me from the side, his gaze measuring my expression.

  “—but a Contextus Daemonicus—I never thought it was possible. You seem to be healing and yet suffering. Your soul knows he’s alive. But by every demonic action he is taking, he is weakening you.”

  “That explains how you have been feeling all those things,” Jaden was satisfied with Liz’ theory. “You get weak when he does. You are hungry when he is. You feel strong when he does.”

  I listened to them, as they were explaining my mood swings. It made sense—kind of. After all, Adam and I were permanently linked through him marking me when he had spread his wings. But if he was dead—if his angel-self was truly dead—would he ever truly remember me? Would his memory return and would he ever love me again? Right now he saw a target when he looked at me. Nothing more, nothing less.

  Traces

  Jaden was quiet on our way to school. The conversation with Liz had given us a lot to think about.