by Dawn Brower
The journey to Huntly Castle had been extended and tedious, but they’d finally arrived. The trip was hard even in the best of circumstances. The silence and distance between Angeline and Lucian made it even more unbearable. Angeline had never been so glad to finally make it to Huntly. She’d wanted to jump out of the carriage and run inside. Her upbringing held her back from acting unladylike. She had a rebellious streak, but some things she wouldn’t do. One of which was disappointing her mother. Lady Torrington, to those in the ton, her dear mother always hated when Angeline acted like a hoyden. Since this was a family gathering, she held back.
Lucian exited the carriage and then assisted her out. Another thing she allowed to happen. Even this small gesture was hard for her to bear. Their estrangement broke a little more of her heart every day that passed. She played her part in it as much as he did. Essentially, they were bloody fools and neither had a clue how to fix the damage, so they ignored it and pushed forward.
They walked into Huntly without speaking to each other. The duchess came forward with a large smile on her face. “You’re here,” she said excitedly. “I’m so glad to see you both.”
Angeline hugged her. “It was a long trip and it’s nice to have finally arrived.” She glanced around. “Where’s Emilia?”
“She’s up in her room. Your parents arrived yesterday. I’m sure you’ll want to see them as well.”
Angeline wanted to talk to Emilia and her mother. She needed advice on how to deal with Lucian, and those two were the ones she trusted most. His mother was wonderful, and she’d always loved her; however, she wasn’t the person to talk to about this. “And the twins? Have they arrived yet?”
“No,” the duchess answered. “They should be here today though. Why don’t you go up and rest for a bit? We’re having a light supper in a few hours.” She turned to Lucian. “I’ve put you both in your room. Why don’t you show Angeline where that is?”
“Thank you,” Angeline said to her. “But I’ll find it on my own. I’d like to see Emilia first.”
Lucian kept silent through the whole conversation. His brooding had risen to new heights as they traveled to Huntly, and it would get worse. He didn’t even hug his mother in greeting. The duchess frowned at Lucian, not that he noticed her apparent concern. With a curt nod, he strolled past them and off to wherever. She didn’t even want to guess. She did know one thing though—he was being rude as hell, and she’d have to get through to him before he alienated everyone he cared about.
“Pardon me,” she said to the duchess. “I’ll see you at supper.” Angeline turned and walked away. She had to find Emilia.
She went up the stairs and turned down the hall toward Emilia’s chambers. When she arrived there, she rapped on the door.
“Enter,” Emilia said her voice muffled through the wood door.
Angeline opened the door and went inside, closing it behind her. “Hello,” she greeted her. “It feels as if it’s been years since we last saw each other.”
Emilia shrieked and jumped off the bed. She headed over to Angeline and wrapped her in a hug. “I know what you mean.” Emilia stepped back. “My parents insisted we come out here early. I’d have liked to have come over for a visit. How is married life treating you?”
That was her problem. How could she tell Emilia how unhappy she was? She’d thought she could discuss it with her, but now that Angeline was with her she knew she couldn’t. Emilia couldn’t possibly understand her problems with Lucian. She was still unmarried and didn’t even have a suitor. Emilia might understand love, but not the intricacies of a romantic relationship. Not that she had much to base her opinions on either. She was failing miserably with Lucian.
“Everything is fine,” she said. “I’ve missed you.”
“We’ll have a whole fortnight to spend some time together. Aren’t you tired from your journey?”
She was exhausted, but there were things she needed to do. She’d go find her mother and have a talk with her. Maybe she’d have some insight into her dilemma. Her parent’s marriage hadn’t started on the best of circumstances. Angeline’s father had married her mother to save her from a rotten cousin. In some ways, that was similar to how her marriage to Lucian began. Her parents had found a way to love, and maybe Angeline and Lucian could too.
“I am a little tired,” she agreed. “I wanted to come see you before I laid down to rest.”
“I’m glad you did,” Emilia said. Her lips titled upward into a bright smile. “Now, go to your chambers, and I’ll see you at supper.”
Angeline quickly hugged her again and then exited the room. Because she’d decided not to unburden herself with her friend, she hadn’t gotten any insight from Emilia. At least not directly… The short visit to her room made her realize one thing. There was hope. Until that moment, she’d forgotten about her parents and their unwavering love. Things hadn’t always been easy for them, and if they could find their happy ending, so could Angeline and Lucian—she had to be willing to fight for it. First though, she’d have a conversation with her mother to see if maybe there was an easier way to achieve her greatest wish—getting Lucian to love her.
Chapter 13
Huntly Castle was large and elaborate. There were several rooms and some of them not always so simple to find. If Angeline hadn’t nearly grown up on the estate, she’d have easily gotten lost. The problem now facing her was that, in such a large estate, she had no idea where to find her mother. She could be almost anywhere, and Angeline had to locate her. Sometimes a girl needed her mother and the advice they could give and she definitely needed some bit of sage wisdom to help with her problems with Lucian.
She headed down the stairs and turned at the foot of them. The hallway led toward several rooms: the library, the duke’s office, and a sitting room. The duchess favored the sitting room down this hallway because it was near the duke’s office. So that made it the most likely place she’d find her mother. At least in winter there wasn’t a possibility she’d be strolling outside in the gardens. Her mother loved the outdoors, but hated snow.
Angeline went into the sitting room and came to a stop. Her mother sat on the settee, but of course she wasn’t alone. “Hello, Mother,” Angeline greeted her. “Father—since when did you take the time for afternoon tea?” He sat in a relaxed position on a chair opposite of her mother. His blond hair was tied back, away from his face. Her father was a handsome man, with chiseled cheeks and blue eyes. Angeline looked more like her mother, but with her Aunt Lily’s dark hair—not her mother’s auburn locks. She loved both of her parents, but she didn’t particularly want to have a conversation about her love life or lack-there-of with her father. It was bad enough that she had to have it with her mother. She hated how desperate she’d become where Lucian was concerned. Maybe he loved her, maybe he didn’t—either way, she had to decide how she wanted to proceed with him. She needed her mother for that.
“Hello to you too,” her father replied with a touch of amusement in his tone. “We were told you were resting.”
“I’m too fidgety,” she explained. “I went up to talk to Emilia, then decided to come down for tea.” Angeline sat on the settee next to her mother. “How were your travels here?”
“Uneventful,” her mother answered, then took a sip of her tea. “We got here before the snow started to fall. Is Emilia going to join us?” She set her cup down and adjusted the three-quarter length sleeves on her emerald-green jacket, and then smoothed the lines on her skirt. Her mother had always been fashionable and a part of Angeline admired it. She was grateful she didn’t have to bother with a corset. She didn’t know how her mother managed it when she was younger.
Angeline picked up a teacup and filled it. What would it take for her father to leave and give her some time alone with her mother? She had no idea how to make that happen. She took a drink of her tea and contemplated her next move. “I’m uncertain if she’s coming down or not. She didn’t say.” Truthfully, she hadn’t stayed with her long eno
ugh to ask.
“As nice as this is,” her father began, “you’ll both have to excuse me. Noah is waiting for me in the game room. We have plans to play billiards and enjoy some of his fine brandy before dinner.” He stood and kissed her mother’s cheek, then gave Angeline a quick hug. “We’ll discuss it all later. It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other.”
“Of course,” she said and pasted a smile on her face. Angeline loved her father, but she couldn’t help the relief flooding her that he wouldn’t be staying with them. She didn’t want to discuss her relationship with Lucian in his presence. “We’re here for the next fortnight. I look forward to spending time with everyone.” Angeline usually loved Christmastide. The time with family and the celebration—it had always made her happy, and she’d felt incredibly loved. She’d been blessed to be part of such a large and extended family. This year was marked by the pain of heartache, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love her family any less. Even if she and Lucian couldn’t figure out their relationship, at least she would always have her loved ones.
Her father left the room, and she was finally alone with her mother. Angeline sipped her tea again. Not because she was particularly thirsty, but she suddenly didn’t know how to begin. It wasn’t an easy topic to broach. She felt silly, but she couldn’t put any of it into words.
“Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” Her mother set her teacup down and then turned her attention to Angeline. “We might not find another moment alone.”
“What gave me away?” Angeline had thought that she’d been doing a good job of pretending she was all right.
“You’re my daughter.” She placed her hand on Angeline’s. “I’ll always know when something is bothering you. Is it Lucian?”
Angeline stared down into her teacup. The awkwardness of the situation hadn’t escaped her. She traced the rim of her cup with her finger and took a deep breath. “How did you and Daddy overcome your doubts? Admit you loved each other?”
Her mother took her teacup away from her and set it on the table next to her own. She pulled both of Angeline’s hands into hers. “Are you telling me that foolish man hasn’t told you he loved you? How did he convince you to marry him?”
She still didn’t understand that. Why had she agreed to elope with him? Yes, he’d basically forced her on the train, but she didn’t need to go through with the ceremony. She’d stood in front of the vicar and said her vows because she’d believed they had a future together. Now though—what the hell had she been thinking? Was she being a silly fool, or had it been the best decision she’d ever made? Angeline shrugged. “He caught me at a weak moment. The reason he wanted to marry me was to protect me.”
“From what?” She scrunched her eyebrows together. “What made him think you needed saving?” Concern filled her eyes as she asked the question.
They hadn’t told anyone about her short stay in a jail cell. She’d had some bruises and minor cuts from being trampled on, but they’d been easily hidden behind her clothing. She hadn’t told her mother or father about them—mainly because she didn’t want to concern them, but also so she didn’t have to sit through any more lectures. She didn’t care that Lucian hadn’t thought it wise to air her transgressions for the world. Though, at the time, she’d thought it a sound decision, but now she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t particularly want to admit to her mother she’d become involved with the Pankhursts; however, if she wanted advice, she’d have to tell her everything. “Lucian helped me out of a situation.”
“I need more details than that.” Her voice wasn’t harsh, exactly. Stern was probably a better description. “What are you not telling me?”
“The short version is I participated in a suffragette parade. The police came, and I was arrested.” Angeline paused briefly. “Lucian ensured my release by claiming to be my fiancé.”
Her eyes went round with surprise. “I never thought my own daughter would find herself in a similar situation as I did. Albeit it isn’t exactly the same, but I appreciate the coincidence. These days, it isn’t as necessary to marry, and your father never would have let a man take advantage of you.” She tilted her head to the side. “If you explained this, we could have prevented the marriage.” She tilted her head to the side and her expression softened. “Deep down, you didn’t want to end your betrothal, did you?”
“No,” she admitted. “I love him.”
“Of course you do. Otherwise, you’d never have married him. That doesn’t explain why you’re unhappy with that decision.” Her mother’s tone softened with each word. “Tell me what’s gone wrong.”
“He doesn’t love me.” She hated saying that aloud. “Lucian wants to protect me. Nothing more.”
“I doubt that.” Her lips tilted upward. “Lucian wouldn’t have married you for that alone. He could have done something a lot less permanent. I suspect he’s loved you for a while but hasn’t been able to admit it to himself. Men can be…” She flipped her hand up. “How do I say this? Idiotic. They’re reluctant to give in to love. At least until they do and realize it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to them.”
“Is that what happened with Daddy?” Her concern lightened a little. Talking with her mother helped to put things into perspective.
“More or less,” she said. “My advice is tell him how you feel. Take a leap of faith. He might not react well at first, but it’s up to you to remain strong for the both of you. In the end, he’ll thank you.”
Her mother wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t considered herself, but somehow it made a difference hearing it from her. Angeline had known she’d need to be brave. It was time to tell Lucian she loved him. She hugged her mother. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” her mother said as she hugged her back. “Now, go find your husband. We’ll talk more later.”
Angeline stood and exited the room. She wasn’t sure where Lucian was, but she did know one thing: she would tell him she loved him. Depending on how things went, maybe she’d have her long overdue wedding night.
Lucian stood in the library, drowning his sorrows in a bottle of his father’s brandy. He’d considered, momentarily, finding a novel to read. Once he entered the room though, he’d nixed that idea.
“What has you drinking your sorrows?” Alexander asked as he walked in. “It’s not like you to start drinking this early.”
“It’s hardly early,” Lucian replied sarcastically. “It’s already dark outside. I’d say we’re well into evening.” He nodded at Andrew who followed his brother into the library. “When did the two of you arrive?”
“Just now,” the twins said in unison.
“We left our father and yours in the billiards room. Both of them were enjoying brandy too, but shooed us out the door. They told us to find you instead.” Andrew took Lucian’s glass and drank the contents. “Hence why we’re now bothering you.”
Lucian rolled his eyes, snatched his glass back, and then refilled it. “If you want some brandy, find your own glass. There are more over there.” He gestured to where he’d found his.
Alexander headed to the shelf and brought two more glasses back. He filled them both and handed one to Andrew. “Where’s our lovely sister?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Lucian answered. She’d practically ran in the opposite direction once they arrived. “Maybe with Emilia.” He hated that she kept distance between them. It was driving him a little more insane with each passing day.
Andrew lifted a brow. “Trouble in paradise already?” He lifted his glass to his mouth, sipping his brandy. “What’s Angeline done now?”
He would love to tell them it was all Angeline, but he couldn’t. Lucian was equally culpable for their problems. He’d handled everything badly from the very beginning. His heart hurt at the idea of losing her. No matter what he did or didn’t do, he couldn’t seem to figure out how to fix things between them. Which was why he decided to drink as much brandy as he could and pass out. He was supposed to share a
bed with her here and not touch her. Lucian didn’t think he’d be able to endure it. “Angeline has done nothing wrong.”
“Somehow I don’t think it’s that simple.” Andrew set down his glass. “But if you don’t want to explain it, that’s all right. Keep your secrets. It’s been a bloody long day, and I’m going to my chambers until tomorrow morning. Give my regrets to the parents. I’ll see everyone at breakfast.” He left Alexander and Lucian alone in the room.
“I’m not so generous as my brother,” Alexander said. “He might respect your privacy, but I find that I need to know what’s going on with my friend who married my little sister.” There was an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before—almost protective. Lucian found that a bit ironic considering that neither one of them had seemed a bit concerned when he told them he was going to marry Angeline in the first place.
“Have you ever been in love?” Lucian asked.
Alexander stared down at his bandy. “Maybe,” he finally answered. “Sometimes I believe I have, and other times I wonder if I’ve lost my mind.”
Lucian frowned. That wasn’t the answer he’d expected. As far as he’d known, neither one of the twins believed in anything as sentimental as love. His curiosity was piqued. “What lady is playing with your emotions?” Perhaps, if he heard Alexander’s story, it would take his mind off of his own troubles.
“It’s not important,” Alexander replied. “What matters is that you clearly love Angeline.” His lips tilted upward. “Something I’d always suspected and you confirmed by marrying her. Whatever your problems, you can find a way back to each other.” That explained a lot… He’d expected them to be angry with him and they’d been everything but. How could they have ascertained Lucian loved Angeline when he was just starting to figure it out himself? Alexander finished his brandy and set his glass down. “Tell her you love her and fix it. If the two of you can’t find your way back to each other, that doesn’t leave much hope for the rest of us.” With those words, he left Lucian alone.