Heartsong

by TJ Klune

  Couple that with the night I’d had, and I didn’t feel like moving. I didn’t want to think. I was warm and sleepy, and there was an arm curled around my waist. I reached up and lazily traced my hand up the back of the hand to the arm.

  “I said no homo,” a voice whispered in my ear.

  My eyes flashed open.

  Everyone else was gone aside from the bastard behind me.

  Carter burst out laughing as I tried to pull away. He held on tightly, his growl rumbling in my ear. “I know you don’t remember, but you love cuddling with me. Promise. You always said as much. Pissed Kelly off to no end.”

  “Let me go, Carter.”

  “Nah,” he said easily. “Just a little bit longer. Need to get my scent on you some more. Make you smell like pack. Are you into watersports? That’d make things quicker if you are. I could just whip it out and—oof!”

  He exhaled heavily into my neck as I elbowed him in the stomach as hard as I could. I turned to glare at him, and he was curled up, arms wrapped around his belly.

  “Not cool, dude,” he wheezed. “You gigantic dick. I was just trying to be your friend!”

  Chris appeared in the doorway to the basement.

  “You said you were going to piss on me!”

  “Whoa,” Chris said, immediately turning around and heading back upstairs. “I do not need to know that. Is that a wolf thing? No one told me that was going to be a wolf thing. Joe! Joe! Do I have to let your brother piss on me or what?”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” Joe shouted, sounding outraged.

  I thought about lying back down, but Carter was only wearing boxer briefs and was scratching his junk as he yawned so widely his jaw cracked. He saw me watching and trailed a hand toward the top of his boxers, waggling his eyebrows.

  Before I could murder him, Ox appeared in the doorway, completely dressed. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked stern.

  “Crap,” Carter muttered. “You were serious.”

  “I’m always serious,” Ox said.

  Carter sighed. “You know, you take this Werewolf Jesus thing a little too far.” He twirled his hand in the air above him. “Take this bread, all of you, for it is my body. Eat of me and—”

  “Your little brother doesn’t seem to mind eating my bread.”

  Carter looked horrified, even as Joe screeched incredulously.

  Ox grinned. “Anything else, Carter, before we begin? I could tell you about how Joe likes to—”

  Carter shook his head. “Nope. In fact, I’d really rather not hear you say anything ever again. I heard enough through the walls when you and Joe started knocking buttholes, or whatever it is guys do to each other.” He frowned. “Not that I care about that kind of thing, but how does that work? Do you guys just bend over and push your asses together to—”

  “Get up,” Ox told me.

  I didn’t like the sound of that. “Why? It’s still early. I want to go back to sleep.”

  Ox shook his head. “Not this morning. We have work to do and we’re getting started now. Get dressed. Everyone will meet behind the house in ten minutes. Don’t make me wait.” He turned and went back up the stairs.

  “What are we doing?” I hissed at Carter.

  He put his arm over his eyes. “Werewolf Jesus is going to work us. Took what those witches said a little too much to heart. Pack unity, blah, blah, blah.” He dropped his arm and looked over at me solemnly. “When we do trust falls, I promise to catch you.” He reached for me. “I’ll always catch you, Robbie.”

  He was laughing again as I tackled him. It didn’t take long before I was pinned below him, breathing heavily.

  “Kelly!” he yelled. “Your mate is trying to get all up on my junk. It’s unbecoming for a man of my political position. My constituents won’t like this very much at all!”

  I prayed the day would be over quickly.

  * * *

  It wasn’t.

  By the time we finished, I was convinced the only reason we’d done any of this was so everyone could take a turn kicking my ass. The Alphas stayed out of it, as did Kelly and Rico (though I was sure Rico itched to pull out his gun), but everyone else was fair game.

  Elizabeth moved like liquid smoke, her movements so close to dancing that I thought she was toying with me. I bloodied her nose and squeaked out an apology before she flung me into a tree. That caused a hairline fracture in my arm that healed almost immediately, and she spat a thick wad of blood on the ground before saying, “Lucky hit.”

  I groaned as the small tree I’d crashed into fell over.

  Jessie came next. She zigzagged toward me, left, right, left, and Ox said there there there, and I pivoted to the side as she brought the staff from over her head. It hit the ground where I’d just been standing, the tip digging into the earth. Before she could lift it, I kicked down on it, my heel striking the middle of the staff, snapping it in two. Jessie lurched forward but stayed on her feet as I hopped back.

  “Oh shit,” Tanner breathed.

  Jessie frowned down at the broken staff. “I made that myself.”

  “I’ll find you another stick in the woods,” I said, feeling lighter than I had since I came to Green Creek. Carter choked but covered it up quickly. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”

  She bent over and picked up the broken half. She stood slowly and banged the two pieces together twice before testing their weight. “Huh. This works too.”

  And then she was moving again, bringing down the staff in her right hand first. I went left. But she was there with the other staff, and I barely moved out of the way in time. She jumped back, and before I could recover, she moved in again. Against my better judgment, I was impressed. She flung her arm out in a flat arc and I ducked, going down to one knee.

  That was a mistake.

  She used my position to launch herself off me, her right foot on my thigh as she jumped over me. I didn’t have time to turn before she brought down one of those fucking sticks on the back of my head. I grunted as I fell forward, stars flashing angrily across my vision. I was down on my hands and knees, and she stood above me, pointing a broken piece of her staff at my head.

  She was panting, but her smile was wild and beautiful. “Not bad. Still could use some work.”

  I nodded, and she held out a hand to help me up.

  I took it.

  Ox said, “Good. That was good, both of you. Carter.”

  I barely had time to recover before Carter bellowed and rushed toward me.

  “Oh no,” I whispered before a wall of muscle knocked me off my feet.

  Chris and Tanner moved as a team (“An absolute unit!” Rico announced grandly), and it wasn’t hard to see that they fed off each other. They always seemed aware of where the other was, and I thought about pulling my punches with them but was convinced not to hold back when Chris picked me up over his head and slammed me down onto the ground like he was some kind of fucking wrestler. I bounced heavily and lay there, blinking up at the sky. They stood above me, silhouetted by the sun.

  “You gonna just stay down?” Chris asked.

  “Yes,” I managed to say. “If it’s all the same to you, I think I’m okay where I’m at.”

  “Nah,” Tanner said. “I’m not done.”

  “Oh. Well, since you put it that way. Fuck you.”

  It went on for a few more minutes before Joe said, “Enough.”

  By then it had devolved into an all-out brawl, and Tanner had me in a headlock while Chris was trying to climb onto my back to punch my kidneys. We all stopped immediately, staring at the Alphas, breathing heavily.

  Ox and Joe were watching me, arms across their chests. Chris jumped off me, and Tanner removed his chokehold. I sucked in a breath, my throat sore. “Are you sure?” I panted. “Because I could do this all day.”

  “You’re crying,” Chris pointed out.

  “I’m not crying. My eyes are sweating!”

  He patted me on the top of the head. “Uh-huh. Keep
telling yourself that.”

  “Children,” Mark said, looking toward the sky with his secret smile.

  Gordo snorted. “You’re just pissed off he got a hit in.”

  “Head back to the house,” Ox said. “You’re free for the rest of the day.”

  Thank Christ. I wanted to find a tree to collapse under and stay there for the rest of my life. I was probably going to die.

  “Not you,” Ox said as I tried to slink away. “Kelly, Chris, Tanner, you all stay too.”

  Rico frowned. “Alfa, maybe we should—” He stopped when Ox shook his head. He shot me a glare before spinning on his heels and stalking back toward the house.

  “What a little bitch,” Chris muttered.

  “Don’t worry about him,” Tanner told me. “He’ll come around. I think.”

  The others began to drift away, following Rico. Elizabeth and Jessie giggled with each other, looking back at me before laughing again.

  Carter and the timber wolf stood next to Kelly. Carter was speaking in low tones, his hands on his brother’s shoulders. Kelly nodded at whatever Carter said. Carter kissed his forehead before glancing at me. He bared his teeth and drew a finger across his throat in a clear warning. The timber wolf woofed at me, as if agreeing with Carter, before they walked after the others.

  “Kelly, Robbie, with me,” Ox said. “Tanner, Chris, stay here with Joe until I call for you.”

  And with that, he turned and started to cross the clearing, expecting us to do as we were told.

  We did.

  Kelly fell in step beside me as we left the others behind. “You did good.”

  I snorted as I rubbed my neck. “I got my ass kicked.”

  “You did good at getting your ass kicked.”

  “Gee. Thanks. Glad to know I made a great punching bag so they could work out their aggression.”

  Kelly stopped me by grabbing my arm. I glanced down at his hand before looking up at him. “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Tell that to my spleen.”

  He winced. “Point. But Ox wouldn’t have given you more than he thought you could handle. He was testing you, sure, but it wasn’t just about that.”

  I looked toward the Alpha walking into the tree line, hands clasped behind his back. “Unity.”

  “Yeah. Ox is big on… well. He and Joe learned from our father. Dad was big on the pack as a team. That we had to depend on each other to anticipate what one of us might do.”

  “Did we do this before?”

  He smiled ruefully. “All the time. You fight different. Scrappier. You used to be so worried about hurting one of us.”

  “I broke your mother’s nose,” I said dryly. “And then immediately apologized.”

  He shrugged. “You wouldn’t have even tried before. At first when it was you against her, you refused to touch her. You said you could never hit a queen. That made her weirdly happy before she would use it to beat you up.”

  “What about you?”

  He squinted at me. “What about me?”

  I motioned between the two of us as he dropped his hand. “Did we….”

  He laughed quietly. “We did eventually. You always tried to make excuses not to touch me. You said you didn’t want to hurt me.”

  I closed my eyes. “It wasn’t because of that.”

  “I know. Now. And it’s endearing. But back then? I was fine with using it against you. Come on. Ox is an Alpha, which means he doesn’t like to wait. He’s kind of a dick like that.”

  I didn’t protest when he took my hand, pulling me along.

  * * *

  Ox sat with his back against an old oak tree. His legs were crossed in front of him, his hands settled on his knees. He nodded for us to sit with him.

  Kelly went first, sitting at his left, facing him. He patted the ground next to him. I hesitated before joining him.

  Ox looked off into the trees. In the distance, I could hear the faint sounds of Carter bitching at the timber wolf and the wolf’s answering snarl.

  “You think he’s ever going to figure it out?” Kelly asked Ox.

  Ox’s lips twitched. “One day. I just hope we’re all there to see it.”

  I was confused. “What are you talking about?”

  Ox shook his head. “Later. You did well, Robbie.”

  I struggled not to preen at the praise. I failed miserably, if Kelly’s laugh was any measure.

  “Aileen and Patrice,” Ox continued. “They think we’re fractured. And they’re right.”

  “Rico needs to pull the stick out of his ass,” Kelly snapped. “He’s only going to make things harder if he—”

  Ox held up his hand, and Kelly fell silent. “I’ve already talked with him. It’s going to take time, but I don’t know if that’s something we have. And it’s not just him.”

  I jerked my head up. Ox watched me with a calm expression.

  He said, “Our father, he brought us here. Me and Joe.” He looked off into the distance again as he spoke. “I thought it was mostly for Joe, because of what he would become. I thought the only reason I was there was because of what we meant to each other. But now I think he was preparing me as well. I don’t know how he knew or even what he knew, exactly, but he saw something in me that no one else had, aside from my mother. My daddy, he….” Ox shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what he thought. Not anymore. It hasn’t for a long time, though there are days when I’m still haunted by him. But I know the difference now between ghosts and reality. And know which is true.” And then he said, “Robbie, I failed you. We failed you.”

  “Oh, hey, no, you don’t have to—”

  “Listen.”

  My mouth snapped closed.

  He said, “After the hunters came and tried to take over Green Creek, we were angry. We turned it into something positive. To rebuilding the town, to taking care of the Omegas and Carter and Mark.” His eyes filled, a swirl of violet and red that made me sweat. “This… thing that I am now, this power that I have, it’s more than I ever thought it could be. And I don’t take it lightly. I can’t. I won’t. Too many people depend on me. On all of us. Thomas, he… he told Joe that being an Alpha was more than being in charge. An Alpha is a unifier. A protector. That he or she must be willing to give everything for his pack.”

  “Even his life,” Kelly whispered.

  Ox nodded. “Even that. And I wanted to tear down the world. My pack had been hurt. They’d been changed. Mark and Carter found control in their tethers—”

  “Gordo and Kelly,” I said. Ox looked surprised. “Tattoo on Mark’s throat. The raven. It’s the same as the one on Gordo’s arm.”

  “Okay,” Ox said slowly. “And Kelly and Carter?”

  I plucked at a blade of grass. Without thinking much about it, I handed it to Kelly, pressing it against his palm. “Carter’s always aware of where Kelly is. He turns to Kelly whenever he enters a room. I don’t think he knows it. It’s just….”

  “Instinct,” Ox said.

  “Yeah. Or something close.”

  Ox nodded. “Good. You’re observing.”

  “I was going to use it against you at first,” I admitted. “When I thought you were all crazy.”

  Kelly arched an eyebrow. “We kind of are.”

  “Weaknesses,” Ox said. “You were looking for weaknesses. What did you see?”

  I hesitated. Then, “Not much. I thought about going for the humans first, but Jessie literally knocked that idea out of my head.”

  Ox laughed softly. “She tends to do that.”

  I took a deep breath, choosing my words carefully. “If there’s any weakness, it’s you.”

  Kelly gasped, but Ox ignored him. “Explain.”

  “You’re an Alpha,” I said, “which means you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for your pack. But it goes further with you. With all of you. And if I… if I wanted to hurt you, hurt your pack, I would exploit that.”

  “Our pack,” Ox said. “Because you’re part of this too.”
/>   “Am I?” I couldn’t hide the bitterness in my voice.

  “Yes, Robbie, you are. We fucked up. Rage is a fire that burns bright and fierce, but it sucks all the oxygen from the air around it. In the end, it dies. I didn’t expect that. I thought we would storm the compound in Maine. I thought we would force Michelle to stand down and Joe would assume his rightful place as the Alpha of all. If that meant her death, then so be it. But life is funny. We were distracted—I was distracted. That fire continued to burn, but it was already dying. I was still angry, but it felt distant. It didn’t help that we were at one end of the country and Michelle at the other. We put all our resources into fixing what was broken here and spreading the word around to the packs who would listen about what had happened. Some believed us. Some didn’t. Michelle had already begun to fracture the truth, telling those around her who would listen that we’d been infected, that we were a threat to wolves all over the world.”

  I tried to reconcile that with the Michelle I thought I knew, and I was troubled when I found it wasn’t difficult at all. I could see her doing just that. I didn’t think her cold, but I knew she could be ruthless.

  Ox nodded as if he knew what I was thinking. “I didn’t waste my time on those who wouldn’t believe us. I may come to regret that someday, but I think it’s going to come down to one simple edict. If they’re not with us, then they’re against us. And if they’re against us, then God help them.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “We’re working on it,” he said. “Do you remember when I told you that one day I would be asking you about Caswell?”

  I could only nod.

  “It’ll be soon,” he said. “Things are in motion. Patrice and Aileen were right when they said we don’t stand a chance if we’re not united. But we will be, and the time will come when we will do what we must.”

  A chill crawled down my spine, filling me with ice. “There are children in Caswell.”

  “I know,” he said simply. “But what I don’t know is what’s happened in Caswell since you left. What Livingstone has done, if anything.”