by Amy Daws
My gaze moves around the table to silently gauge everyone’s current mood. Gareth lowers himself to the left of Vaughn and has a very stoic look on his face that I can’t quite read. Camden is by Gareth and sporting an easy grin, like this is just a normal Sunday. Tanner is at the end of the table by Cam and more focused on the bowl of nuts in front of him than the fact that he has a new half brother in the room. Vi seems nice and welcoming beside me, her smile genuine, but I can see the stress behind her eyes.
Booker finally joins us on the other side of Vaughn, and his mood is markedly more withdrawn than everyone else. I came in today knowing that I have a lot to atone for with him.
I swallow the knot in my throat and direct my attention to him. “Booker, I’d like to apologize to you first if it’s okay.”
Booker’s eyes snap up to mine before looking around the table nervously. “Me? What for?”
“My behavior to you yesterday was shitty.” I pause and dig into the pocket of my jeans for some money. I stick a bill in the swear jar as I continue, “I was rude and dismissive. You didn’t deserve any of that. And I’m really sorry for pushing you on the sidelines like I did. That was completely out of line.”
Booker’s nose wrinkles as he waves me off. “It was nothing.”
“I’ve given Tanner at least three black eyes,” Camden interjects with a laugh. “The last one was just a few years ago.”
“It was a cheap shot.” Tanner harrumphs, touching his cheekbone like it still hurts.
Camden rolls his eyes. “He had it coming.”
“Worth it.” A lopsided smile spreads across Tanner’s face.
I nod and smile, grateful for the olive branch they’re offering me, but this is just the beginning of my apology tour. “Well, I appreciate that, but I’d like to apologize to all of you for not being honest from the jump,” I say, my hands turning to fists beside my teacup. “I knew there was a possible connection here before I was even transferred to Bethnal Green, and it was deceitful of me to walk amongst you all without sharing that information.”
“It can’t have been an easy thing to open up about,” Gareth says, his voice deep as his eyes stare directly into mine. “Not sure how I would have handled it.”
“We’re a forgiving family,” Vaughn interjects, his face sincere. “We’ve all been through a lot after losing Vilma when the kids were so young. I didn’t handle it well and needed all of my kids to forgive me for one thing or another.”
They all nod in agreement, but I still feel a vibe from Booker that’s not at all forgiving.
“So, you’re our brother,” Vi proclaims with a laugh, covering her mouth nervously.
“Half brother, yeah,” I correct, feeling weird saying it out loud at last.
She smiles, and her eyes blink rapidly. “Why the bloody hell couldn’t you have been a sister?”
She throws her hands upward like she’s cursing the gods above, and everyone breaks into genuine laughter at the table, including me. It feels good. It’s broken the ice that was melting way too slowly beneath our feet.
“I’m afraid I didn’t get much say in the matter,” I reply with a shrug. “I just find it incredible that I grew up loving soccer without any knowledge of any of you.”
“Football,” Vi adds with a wink.
“It’s in our blood,” Camden states, watching me thoughtfully as Tanner nods in agreement.
Vi touches my arm to bring my attention back to her. “Is it true your mum and our mum were close when they were in college?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah, that’s what she said. I don’t know a lot about their friendship, but she was at Vaughn and your mom’s wedding.”
“Wow,” Vi gasps with a wobbly smile.
“And the funeral,” I offer, and then curse myself when the mood in the room shifts instantly. I say the only thing that comes to mind next. “I lost my dad a little over a year ago, so I know a bit about how that feels.”
Vi nods, and her eyes bend with emotion before she quietly asks, “Do you think your mum would like to have a chat with me sometime?” She offers me a shaky smile. “We were all so young when our mum passed, which means we’re painfully desperate for stories about her.”
Vi’s voice cracks at the end and tears fill her eyes. I feel a bit stunned by that unexpected request, and I glance around the table to see all four of the brothers’ eyes locked on me as they await my answer. It’s then that I realize that I too can give something to this family. Or at least my mother can.
“I’m sure she’d love to share stories about your mom,” I respond with a smile. “She said that she was on a private jet that Vaughn booked for your mom to come to one of his matches at Man U just after they’d met.”
“Really?” Vi says with a garbled laugh and turns her attention to her dad.
“My God, I’d completely forgotten I did that,” Vaughn replies, his face awestruck with red-rimmed eyes.
“She’s heading back to Boston soon, but maybe we can do a dinner before she leaves,” I offer, and Vi’s returning smile is heartwarming.
Camden clears his throat. “How weird is all of this for you?”
“Crazy weird,” I rush out, and he nods. “And I want you all to know that I don’t expect anything from any of you. I’m honestly just grateful I don’t have to live with this secret anymore. It was eating me alive.”
They all give me looks of sympathetic understanding.
“Well, I’d certainly like to have a relationship with you,” Vi states and smiles sincerely at me. “Dad says you and Daphney are close, and she is my sister-in-law, so it seems natural for us to get to know each other.”
My body tenses at the mention of Daphney’s name. “Daphney and I are just friends.” The words feel foreign and wrong on my tongue even though I’ve said it around this group countless times. The only problem now is, it’s true. But also, not true because I don’t know how I can be friends with someone I’ve fallen in love with.
I want to take the words I said to Vi back and spill my guts about the whole fucked-up situation, but this isn’t the time nor place nor people, for that matter. I’ve got Link and Knight for that.
“That might be for the best,” Gareth says firmly, and Vi frowns over at her brother, who’s looking at me with a dubious expression. He narrows his eyes at me in warning. “Things could get awkward for you around here if you ever broke her heart.”
My chest aches, and I wonder briefly if any of them would ever consider that it’s Daphney who’s the heartbreaker. They know her and Hayden better than they know me, so I guess I can understand where their loyalties lie. “I can understand that.”
“Don’t listen to Gareth,” Vi scoffs, waving her brother off as she shoots me a reassuring smile. “All four of my brothers have mucked things up with their relationships more times than I can count. Then they all come running to me for advice, and I have to find a way to fix the mess they’ve made. It’s a very common brother/sister dynamic that you’ll become well aware of in due time, I’m sure. If you and Daphney have something between you two, don’t you dare let these prats scare you off her. She’s a wonderful person.”
I force a smile that I’m sure looks pained. I appreciate that Vi is talking to me like I’m part of the family already, but the truth is, her words about Daphney cut me deep. Daphney is a wonderful person. And the fact that we were over before we even started is something I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get over. Living next door to her will be hell, especially because the very last thing I want to be is her friend.
I refocus my attention on everyone else at the table. Vi has made it very clear she wants a relationship with me, but I’d like to know where everyone else’s head is at.
I steel myself before asking, “So, what about the rest of you?” I cough softly as my voice gets caught in my throat. “Where do I stand with all of you?”
“I want you here as much as you’re comfortable,” Vaughn says, pinning me with a serious look. “I do not want to
replace your father in any way, but I do want to get to know you, Zander. I want to hear about your upbringing and cheer on your future. I want to be a part of your life in whatever way feels right for us.”
I nod slowly at Vaughn, and an image of my dad washes over me. I can’t imagine how he’d feel about all of this. Would he be hurt? Jealous? Disappointed?
Then I remember the kind of man he was at his core. The kind of man who wanted to raise another man’s baby without hesitation. The kind of man who supported my soccer aspirations even though soccer was never his thing. The kind of man who put together a damn highlight reel to get me a college scholarship. The kind of man who gave me the best example of being a father so that someday, I can be that to my own children.
My dad won’t be hurt. He’ll be happy for me. Maybe even proud that I had the courage to put myself out there like this. And I got it all from him.
“I’d like that very much,” I reply to Vaughn because it’s the truth. I’m not trying to replace my dad, but I’m not going to act like I wouldn’t appreciate a connection with the man who is responsible for my existence.
“Teammate is just another word for family, isn’t it?” Tanner says, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest casually. “I’ll take either label with you. What’s another Harris brother to add in the mix?”
“He’s a Williams,” Vaughn corrects, and Tanner tips his head to me respectfully.
My brows twitch as I feel taken aback by his surprisingly poetic declaration. He certainly never sounds like that at Tower Park.
“My daughter Sophia is adopted,” Gareth offers, folding his hands in front of him. “But I don’t need to share DNA with her to know she’s mine. I’m sure in time, I’m going to feel the same way with you.”
A knot forms in my throat as Camden adds, “I say, let the fun begin. It’ll be nice having another sibling to fuck about on the pitch since these two tossers are retired.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I think I had your number at Emirates.”
“Bollocks,” Camden scoffs and waves me away. “One bad game doesn’t a career make. I have a lot more years in me to embarrass you out there.”
“I look forward to it,” I respond, nodding fondly.
All eyes turn to Booker because he’s the only one who hasn’t made any clear indications on how he’s feeling about all of this. Of all the brothers, I’ve felt the closest to him since coming to London. We did form a bromance, and we certainly had chemistry on the field. We protected the net together like brothers…because we were.
Booker shifts nervously in his seat and looks away to avoid eye contact with me. “Booker, I understand if you need time,” I state, my voice thick in my throat. “You and I have become close since I joined the team, and I’m sure you feel betrayed that I didn’t tell you about all of this.”
Booker’s jaw goes taut as he nods and stares at his hands. “I just…” He looks up, and I am shocked to see his eyes are full of tears. “I feel sort of cheated. Like we missed out on an entire lifetime with you.”
Relief and sadness pummel me at his words because they aren’t bad like I thought. In fact, they’re good. Very, very good. My voice is hoarse when I reply, “Luckily, we’re the young ones, so our lives are only just getting started, right?”
Booker half smiles and nods at me. “I guess I didn’t know how bad I needed a sweeper in my life.”
My returning smile is genuine. “I’m grateful to have a keeper.”
“Oh, for the love of fuck all,” Tanner scoffs, throwing his arms out wide. “If this is going to turn into a sappy made-for-TV movie, someone pass me a bucket because I’m going to be sick.”
Booker rolls his eyes as Gareth turns a lethal glare to Tanner. “We’ve all had to put up with you and Camden licking each other—”
“Licking what?” I gasp, but my words go unheard.
“Bacon sandwich rule this and bacon sandwich rule that,” Gareth continues. “They were roommates, and they married best friends and had bloody kids in unison. Honestly, Vi and I have had to share a sick bucket for years, watching the insane things these two do with each other. They cannot begrudge Booker the chance to have a little brother for the first time in his life.”
“It was just a joke, mate.” Tanner’s nose wrinkles. “No need to get personal. And the bacon sandwich rule is a sacred Harris tradition. You lick it, it’s yours. Zander, come here so I can lick you and claim you as my brother.”
Gareth rolls his eyes and turns back to me. “I hope you’re ready for this lot, Zander. We’re…a lot.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I think I can manage.”
The score is tied thirteen all. It’s the highest-scoring soccer game I’ve ever played in, but apparently, when you’re kicking a ball around in the backyard of Vaughn Harris’s house, and kids are involved, all bets are off.
The teams are divided up as follows:
Me, Booker, and Camden are on one team with Rocky, Teddy, Milo, and Bex.
Gareth, Tanner, and Hayden are on the other team, and their little ones consist of Sophia, Oliver, and Josephine.
Camden and Tanner are both holding their youngest ones in their arms as they play too, so technically, my team also has little Porter, and Gareth’s team has Alexandra. Watching Camden and Tanner go at each other with kids in their arms doesn’t look like the safest thing I’ve ever seen, but the moms are all sitting on the patio drinking tequila sunrises and laughing, so clearly, they are confident in their husband’s abilities not to drop a child.
Thankfully, I have the best teammate and shadow ever…Teddy. Little dude won’t leave me alone. But he’s actually got some sweet feet for a five-year-old, so I’m using him to my full advantage.
When Cam and Tan get caught in a battle to steal the ball from each other and start knocking over kids like dominos in the grass, Gareth, Booker, and Hayden run in to save the day. I hang back with Teddy.
“Don’t chase the pack,” I state, touching my pointer to my temple. “Hang back. It’ll break loose, and that’s when we attack.”
Teddy nods, his eyes wide and excited. As if on cue, the soccer ball flies toward me. “Cut to the net!” I yell to Teddy.
He does exactly as I say, and I send a left-footed pass right in front of him. He doesn’t slow his pace a bit as he swings his right foot onto the ball, shoots, and scores!
His little fists thrust into the air as I knee slide over to him. “Yes, my dude! Great goal!” I hop back up on my feet and pick him up, holding him in a superman pose as I run in front of all the moms who hold their hands out to give him a high five.
We end our celebration tour with Booker, who’s laughing and shaking his head as I set his kid back down on the grass. He ruffles Teddy’s hair and says, “Nice one, Teddy Bear.”
“Let’s play again!” Teddy squeals and grabs my leg.
“Give Zander a break. Go terrorize your brother.” Teddy’s eyes alight with that prospect, and he takes off in pursuit of Oliver without looking back. Booker braces himself on his knees, working to catch his breath. “This game was more intense than yesterday’s!”
“You can say that again,” I reply, still heavily breathing myself.
I watch as everyone drifts away to their own prospective areas of the backyard. Gareth and Vaughn are discussing the potential of a yellow card on Tanner and Camden. The girls are pouring drinks for the guys while the kids still run around with endless amounts of energy. It’s chaos but happy chaos.
“Do you guys play a game every Sunday?” I ask curiously.
“More and more as the kids are getting older.” Booker stands and walks over to the table where Vi has just placed several bottles of water. He calls over his shoulder, “Do you want any?”
“Water? Yeah,” I respond, jogging over to join him.
He half smiles at me. “I meant do you want any kids?” My eyes nearly bulge out of my head, causing Booker to laugh. He shoves me lightly. “Don’t look so scared. You’re g
ood with them.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure I need a partner to have kids, and that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me currently.” I take a bottle of water off the table and unscrew the lid.
Booker eyes me thoughtfully. “Do I dare ask about Daphney? I know you wanted me to butt out yesterday, but you’ll quickly learn the Harris family are slow learners.”
I smile and sigh. “I wish I knew what to tell you.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” Hayden’s voice interjects from somewhere behind me. He bumps my shoulder as he reaches over to grab a water bottle.
The guy hasn’t spoken a word to me since he joined us for dinner over an hour ago. He barely made eye contact with me this whole evening, and I kept expecting him to take me out during our friendly game of backyard soccer.
I clear my throat. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m going to need more details about what happened between you two before I let you walk out of this house today.” Hayden narrows his eyes on me. “All I know is that you texted me looking for her, and she won’t tell me anything. Clearly, something’s up because last time I saw you two together was at the wedding, and you guys were obsessed with each other.” He exhales heavily and voices the next question in a slow, punctuated threat. “What did you do?”
I wince as images of Daphney singing, dancing, and laughing at that wedding flood my memory. It was honestly one of the best nights I’ve had since moving to London. Maybe one of the best nights of my life. It makes me wish I could go back and just be honest with her. Then again, would Daphney and I have become what we became if she knew the truth before we slept together?
I direct my gaze to Hayden and answer honestly, “I lied to her about all of this.” I point at the Harris family all milling about the backyard without a care in the world. “About my supposed connection here. She thinks I was using her to get close to everyone, and I suppose I was, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I fell in love with her along the way.”
Hayden blinks back at me with an unreadable expression on his face. “Did you tell her that?”