Don't Think. Just Breathe. (TNT trilogy Book 1)

by Sarah Delany

  “I want you to partner up with the person seated next to you. Move into your own little space in the room and we can get started,” Ms. Chadwick instructs. My eyes nearly bug out of my head or I think they do anyway, because it means my partner is Tate. We haven’t acknowledged the other morning, so I’m hoping it won’t be awkward. I feel self-conscious with my see through singlet on. Oh my gosh, is he going to stare at my bra now? I slowly lift my head to meet his gaze and he’s staring down at me with the sweetest smile.

  “Hi,” is all he says, and it makes my lips curl up at him, calming me. “Are you going to be alright with me as your partner? It’s not going to be awkward with me being a guy or anything?” He asks me. I observe my classmates in the room and note there are a few other mixed sex partners, not only us, so it makes me relax a bit more.

  “No, it’s fine Tate. If you’re good to go, so am I,” I say. No need to be awkward when he’s my best friend right? He grabs the sheet with the names of the muscles typed on it.

  “Do you want to cut these out or should we write on each other? Whatever you want to do, I’m happy with it,” he says.

  “We can write on each other’s skin, if you don’t mind having to wash it off later? It’s the last period of the day so it’s not like we’ll have to walk around school all day with it on,” I reply.

  He chuckles, “Cool, let’s do that.” He grabs two markers off his desk and then leads me to the corner of the class, off to the side of our desks.

  “So, where should we start?” he asks.

  “Hmm well, we could either start head to toe or we could start from the top of the list, and work our way down if you like?” I suggest.

  “Yeah, I like the idea of working from the list then we can see how many we know without peeking at the diagrams.” I nod in agreement. It sounds like a good idea. “Let’s take turns picking one and writing them on the other person. You can start if you like.” He holds out the markers for me to choose one. I grab the black one because I figure it will be harder to wash off than the red. He runs his eyes through the list.

  “Okay, so first on the list is Trapezius,” he says. I’ve got no idea where that is. I’m now wishing I had paid more attention in this class so I don’t appear dumb in front of him. “Come here and turn around, I need your back,” he says while wiggling his finger in a ‘come hither’ motion at me. I take the last few steps towards him and turn around, so my back is to him. “The Trapezius is a large muscle on the upper back,” he tells me “and it gets its name from its Trapezoidal shape. I’m going to touch you now,” he informs me. He lightly grabs my ponytail and sweeps it to the side of my right shoulder, running his fingers softly over my skin as he does. Just breathe Tam, I tell myself, just breathe. He places his hand firmly on my left shoulder, and asks “Is it alright to draw on your singlet because I’m going to get the top of it?”

  “Yeah, that’s fine, go ahead,” I reply. He places the marker at the base of my neck and draws a line down my neck and along the back of my shoulder. Then he moves diagonally to the middle of my upper back, dragging the marker towards my other shoulder and back to the starting point at my neck. He delicately writes Trapezius across my upper back, his feather light touch tickling wherever he touches.

  “There, Trapezius,” he says. I turn around to face him and he’s smiling. “Your turn,” he smirks at me.

  “You better have written Trapezius on my back and not something embarrassing,” I say. He laughs so loud, he draws a few looks from other students.

  With a cheeky grin he says, “Well you will have to trust me, won’t you?” I can’t help but smile back at him, his mood is infectious. I break eye contact to see what’s next on the list. Achilles tendon. Lucky, I know this one.

  “Achilles,” I say to him. I take my marker and bend down as he turns around to give me the back of his leg. I angle my head sideways, holding his leg while I write Achilles from his heel, upwards along the bottom of his leg. Writing over the hair on his legs is a bit hard but I get it done. I stand up and he turns his leg to examine my work. Smiling, he looks at the list scanning to see what he has next.

  “Deltoid,” he says, “do you know where it is?” I shake my head feeling like an idiot for not knowing. “It’s the shoulder muscle,” he tells me, as he quickly grabs my forearm and brings me closer to him. I look up at his green eyes as he stares down at me.

  We gaze at each other until Ms. Chadwick’s voice breaks our trance, “Good work everyone, keep going.” He shakes his head gently and focusses on my shoulder. He lets go of my forearm and runs a finger up my arm to my shoulder, so slowly, it makes me tremble. I can tell he notices my shiver when his lips tease into the slightest smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges. You would think with the way he smiles, he enjoys teasing me with his touch, knowing how it affects me. He grabs my upper arm and bends his head to get closer to my shoulder. My breath catches so I turn my head away from him. The movement he made was feeling too intimate, especially while surrounded by our classmates. His marker softly glides against my skin as he writes and outlines the muscle. He releases his hold and I turn my neck to peer at his work.

  “What’s next on the list?” I ask him.

  “Pectoralis, major and minor. I’m guessing for now we are classifying them together,” he says. I give him a blank stare. I don’t know where these muscles are either. Biting my lip, he must realise I’m a bit confused.

  “Have you heard of pecs before?” he asks. Movement on his chest catches my eye, and he’s raising his chest muscles one at a time and smirking at me. I can’t help it, I burst out laughing, covering my mouth with my hand. His eyes soften and he pulls my hand away from my mouth.

  “Don’t hide your smile, please. It looks good on you,” he says, making my cheeks heat.

  “Class, we have about ten more minutes then we will start packing up. Finish off your last couple of muscles. Rafe, you didn’t need to take your singlet off, you were supposed to write over it,” Ms. Chadwick’s voice breaks through our moment again. Rafe’s response gets drowned out because I’m so focussed on Tate.

  “Okay, so Pectoralis muscles are pecs,” I say. His singlet dips a bit down his chest so I ask, “Do you want me to write over your singlet or under it?” His throat bobs as he visibly takes a big gulp.

  Without breaking eye contact he softly says, “Under”. His hand moves up and grabs the top of his singlet, pulling it down to bare his soft skin with defined muscle under it. I have to reach up on my tippy toes to write. Balancing myself by holding onto his arm, he helps steady me by gripping my upper arm. I keep my focus on his chest and quickly write the word pecs. Leaning back onto my heels, I take a step away from him. The energy surrounding us is electric. I haven’t felt anything like this before; it’s unnerving. He busies himself with the list, taking his time. Maybe he is as affected by me as I am by him.

  “Quadriceps is next,” he says. “Do you know which muscles they are?

  “They’re in the thigh right?” I question.

  “Yeah it’s the group of muscles in the front of the thigh and hamstrings are in the back,” he tells me. “The bell is going to go soon so this will probably be our last one.” He takes a step closer to me, and squats down to get better access to my thigh. “Umm Sweetness? Your shorts are going to have to get hiked up a bit so I can write.”

  My fingers grab the edges of my bike shorts on my right leg, and I roll it up as high as it can go.

  “That will do,” he tells me. Looking down at him, he’s staring at me with those all-knowing forest green eyes, like he sees right into my soul. His hand softly slides up the back of my leg, starting at my ankle and making its way up to my thigh. He grips my thigh, making it easier for him to write. My breathing picks up from having his hand on me so I scan the room and settle on the clock to distract me while he writes, not being able to watch him while he’s in front of me. Staring at the cl
ock, I start counting the seconds until the bell goes. He is taking forever to write. His hand moves and he quickly rolls down my shorts and he bounces back up and stands.

  “Done,” he says, as the bell goes.

  “Great work today class. I hope it has helped you. You can go home in your clothes, no need to get back into uniforms. Rafe, put your singlet on before you leave please. Enjoy your weekend everyone,” Ms. Chadwick’s voice booms over the bell.

  I hand Tate back his black marker and quickly pack up my books into my bag. Tate quietly puts his things away too. Before I pull away from the desk, his voice stops me.

  “Hey Tamsyn?” Tate says. My eyes question him, not sure what he’s about to say. “Enjoy your weekend scrubbing the marker off,” he chuckles.

  Smirking, I reply, “I think you’ll have a worse time than me since the black marker said it was permanent.” His smile instantly drops, and I can’t help but laugh loudly as I walk away. I leave him in a frantic state, double checking to see if his marker was permanent. It isn’t but the expression on his face is priceless.

  Smiling to myself, I charge down the hallway, knowing it’s a matter of time before Tate catches up with me once he figures out I was joking about the marker.

  “You little liar,” I hear a second Tate yell, before he grabs me and throws me with my bag over his shoulder. I’m laughing so hard now.

  “Tate, put me down, this is embarrassing,” I say into his back, as I try punching it hoping he will let me go. I don’t think my punches are hard as he walks unaffected. So I give up, and give in to hanging there like a rag doll.

  As we get outside, I see JP walking behind us to his car. Well I hear his cackling laughter, before I see him.

  “What did you do Ice Queen, to get stuck up there?” he mocks me. His use of my nickname has me still for a moment, before my brain catches up, and I realise he’s using it with affection now and not in a hateful way.

  “I did nothing at all. Tate here, can’t take a joke,” I say, huffing from irritation at being stuck on his shoulder. To prove he’s in control and I shouldn’t complain, Tate uses his other hand to tickle my side, causing me to break into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I say between laughs. “Please, put me down now.” He finally obliges and pulls my legs towards the ground, which has my whole body sliding down the front of his. When my face gets in line with his, he holds me there, as if I weigh nothing. Staring into my eyes, I see humour on his face. I want to wipe the smirk off his face so I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms wrapping around his neck and I bury my head into his neck. His arms automatically embrace me too, holding me tightly to him. With my head tucked away from view, I’m tempted to blow a raspberry on him but I choose to plant a gentle kiss on his neck instead, right where his pulse is. Lingering there, his pulse speeds up. Bingo! I pull my head up to look at his eyes and all humour has gone from his eyes, now replaced with want.

  “See, I can play dirty too,” I tell him, trying to keep a serious face but I end up laughing, which doesn’t help when he tickles me again. By the time we get to the car JP, Rafe and Scott are already in their seats amused at our antics. I slide into the middle seat for a change and Tate climbs in next to me. All of my previous worries about it being awkward between us, drift away. After dropping Scott off, we pull up to my house and I get out.

  “Sweetness?” Tate calls to me from the open window, and he has me turning back with raised brows. “Have a good weekend.” I smile and nod as I walk up the path to my house. As the car pulls away, I realise it’s the first Friday in a month he hasn’t given me a note and my heart sinks a bit with disappointment. Those notes had been the bright spot of my week and I looked forward to them when I realised they were going to keep coming. I don’t know why he does it on Fridays. Is it so he could leave me with something to get through the weekend. As I get to the front door of my house, I’m a bit disappointed I won’t have a note to add to my collection.

  “Hey Mum,” I yell out, when I get inside the front door.

  “Hi dear, I’m going out tonight to catch up with a friend. So I’ve left some money on the kitchen bench for you to order some dinner. I hope I’ve left enough,” she says. Stopping on the bottom step, I turn to her and see she’s dressed up which I haven’t seen her do in a while.

  “Wow, you look nice Mum. I can easily make myself something. I don’t eat much these days anyway,” I tell her.

  “Umm about that dear,” she says, biting her nails, “I rang the boys’ mums today and they said it is fine for the boys to come spend the night here again with you. I will feel better about going out if I know you are taken care of at home,” she says, staring at the ground and I know she’s still worried about me. I guess I can’t magically make her stop worrying, not after what I put her through the other night.

  “Mum, what if the guys had plans? I don’t need a babysitter,” I try to argue.

  “Please, don’t make a big deal out of this Tamsyn. Their mums were going to send the boys right over, once they had a chance to get their stuff together. They should be here soon. So if you want to clean yourself up a bit before they come, you better hurry.” She nudges me up the stairs.

  I carry on up the stairs, dropping my bag by the door. Since I don’t have a note from Tate, I choose to examine his writing on my skin instead before I wash it off. I better hurry before they arrive. Butterflies in my belly take flight at the fact I’ll be seeing Tate again so soon. I stand in front of my floor length mirror and try angling myself to see my back, where he’s written Trapezius. Luckily it was all he had written and didn’t embarrass me. Next, I look at my shoulder to the word Deltoid delicately written. He has nice handwriting for a guy. I slide my fingers down into my bike shorts and tug them off, stepping out of them and then positioning myself back in front of the mirror.

  “What the..?” I loudly whisper to myself, as I peer down at my thigh with the red writing across it, trying to make out what it says. It’s a bit hard to read upside down so I read it through the mirror, it’s backwards in the reflection. My eyes become misty as I read what Tate’s written. It says, ‘I see you and what I see is beautiful’. My shaking hand comes up to cover my silent cries. He didn’t forget to write me a note. I wonder if he realises how special his notes have become for me. I’m still amazed this incredible boy sees me when no one else does. I grab my phone out of my bag and snap a photo of my leg, wanting to have proof of his note before I have to wash it off. Examining the picture, my heart warms at the fact he thinks I’m beautiful. He sees the beauty, through the mess, which is me.

  ---Tate---

  When we get home from dropping Tamsyn off, I receive an unexpected but pleasant surprise. Mrs. Winter had called and spoken to my aunt, asking her if me and JP could go stay the night with Tamsyn. She wanted to go out with a friend but was a bit apprehensive to leave Tamsyn home alone, not knowing what state of mind she is in. I’m shocked my aunt willingly agreed since it caused such drama between us the last time we stayed at her house. I’m more than happy to stay with Tamsyn again so don’t fight it when she says it’s all sorted. JP surprisingly isn’t too put out that his plans for Friday night are sorted for him. He flicks a text to Scott and Rafe to tell them what we are up to for the night. Funnily enough, Mrs. Winter has contacted their mums too, organising the same thing. So that’s where I find myself now, sitting outside Scott’s house waiting for him. We already picked up Rafe and once Scott gets here, we’ll leave for Tamsyn’s house. I wonder if she noticed the note I wrote on her leg. It took me longer than I thought it would, to rub the black marker off my skin. Luckily it wasn’t permanent. My heart picks up speed at the thought of spending the night with Tamsyn. I’m lost in my thoughts as Scott comes bounding from his house.

  “Slumber party time,” he says cheerily, as he hops in the car.

  “I’m surprised you guys are so easy goi
ng about this. I thought you’d want to go to some party tonight,” I say to the guys.

  “Tamsyn is one of us now dude, if she needs us, we will be there. Even if it includes us spending a Friday night in,” Rafe says from his seat in the back. They all nod in agreement and I am lucky I found this group of friends.

  Pulling up to Tamsyn’s place we get out, lugging our bags up to her house. Rafe knocks on the door and Mrs. Winter lets us in.

  “Thank you so much for coming. You are doing me a huge favour,” she tells us gratefully.

  “It’s no problem at all Tanya. We’re happy to help. Plus Tamsyn is our friend and we help our friends, when we can,” JP tells her.

  Smiling back at us, she says, “I’ve left some money on the bench for you and there’s snacks in the cupboard because I know you will get hungry later.”

  “Thanks,” we all say, in unison.

  “Hey guys,” we hear from behind us. Turning around, my heart catches. There stands Tamsyn with dripping, wet hair, hanging down her back. A baby blue tank top, clings to her skin and her matching sleep shorts are so short. I can’t help gulp away the feelings they are igniting in me.

  I must be staring because I hear, “Tate,” come from her and I don’t know how long I’ve stood there, gawking at her. It must have been a while as the boys snigger behind me. I look at Tamsyn and she’s shyly smiling at me, pink glowing on her cheeks.

  “Boys, you know where the mattresses are. How about you get started setting them up?” Tanya suggests, as it takes the attention away from my awkward moment of staring at Tamsyn. The guys race past her up the stairs to get the room sorted, while I stand there smiling at my best friend.

  “Hey,” I stupidly say, not knowing what else to say after she caught me staring red handed. I should ask her to put something else on, those shorts are far too distracting. Her mum leaves the room to give us a minute of privacy, which I appreciate. She skips down the last few steps to meet me at the bottom.