Someone Like You

by L. M. Brown

  “I wanted to see you.”

  Todd leaned against the back of the sofa and picked at the worn edge of the cushion. “I thought you said we were through.”

  “I guess I didn’t want to leave things the way we did. Do you really still love me?”

  “Of course I do! Whatever made you think I stopped caring?”

  Deacon ignored his question. “I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  “Really?” Todd couldn’t keep the scepticism out of his voice. “And what about Billy?”

  “Er…” Deacon ducked his head, and even in the dim lighting Todd could see the flush of embarrassment creeping up over the other man’s face.

  “What is it?” Todd prompted as he scooted across the space between them. “You know you can tell me anything. If you’re in some sort of trouble just tell me, and we’ll work things out together.”

  “I’m not in any trouble. At least not the way you think.” Deacon drew in a sharp breath and cleared his throat. “Billy’s my boss and my landlord. I rent his spare room.”

  “You mean you aren’t a couple?”

  “No. He’s not really into idiotic teenagers, which is what he’s been calling me at every opportunity this last week.”

  “You mean you tried it on with him?” Todd was still too sleepy to keep track of the conversation and wanted to make sure he knew exactly what was going on.

  “No, never! He’s not my type either.”

  “You let me think you were a couple.” Deacon flinched at the accusation. “Why the hell would you do that?”

  “To make you go home and forget about me.”

  “Well, it definitely made me run back home. Can’t say it did much to make me forget you. But if that was the plan, what are you doing here now?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m a selfish git, and I want you more than I want what’s best for you.”

  Todd grimaced. “Never apologise for wanting me. I don’t care if you’re good for me or bad, though I still say you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

  Deacon sniffled. “It’s the cold,” he muttered as he rubbed his nose.

  “Sure it is,” Todd teased.

  “I really am sorry about what I said last week.”

  “It’s forgotten.”

  Deacon reached out from under the comforter to run a still rather chilled hand down Todd’s cheek. Todd’s shiver wasn’t entirely from the cold. At last they were in familiar territory, and Todd leaned into Deacon’s touch. Deacon held up the edge of the comforter and Todd slid underneath the fabric so they could cuddle up close. “Does this mean we’re back together?” he whispered.

  Deacon answered his question with a kiss Todd felt all the way down to his toes. The chill of the basement was forgotten when Deacon wrapped his arms around Todd’s back and deepened the kiss.

  After months apart, they reconnected on the worn and frayed sofa, snuggled together under the thick comforter.

  Deacon rested his head on Todd’s chest. “I missed you every day you were gone. Did you phone me?”

  “Yes.”

  “How many times?”

  “Every bloody day.”

  “What did you say in your messages?”

  “I asked you to call me. I wrote too, every bloody week.”

  “I’m sorry,” Deacon said. “I didn’t get your letters either.”

  “I know.” Todd kissed Deacon softly. “It’s okay. I know things have been tough for you the last few months. It’ll be better now. I promise.”

  Deacon stilled and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I should have tried harder to contact you.”

  “Yeah, you should have,” Todd agreed, keeping his tone light in the face of Deacon’s guilt. “We could have spent this whole week together if you’d not been so stubborn.”

  “You could have tried harder to win me back,” Deacon teased.

  Todd conceded the point and pulled Deacon close for another kiss. He stopped when he felt something familiar in Deacon’s left breast pocket. He smiled as he eased the photos out. “You still keep those stupid pictures?”

  “Don’t you?” Deacon replied.

  Todd’s face heated. “In my wallet.”

  Deacon snatched the photos from Todd’s fingers and tossed them aside. “I knew it. I never go anywhere without them. When you left they were all I had to remember us.”

  “You do know I’d have come back here right away if I’d known you were in trouble? And don’t think I haven’t realised you were in trouble before I’d even left. Steve saw us together in a club, which means he was blackmailing you for at least a week before I’d moved into the dorms.”

  “Just over two weeks.”

  “And you didn’t think to tell me what was going on?”

  “I didn’t want to be a bother. Besides, you were leaving soon, and I’d have had to handle my brother on my own then.”

  “That’s not the point. I could have helped.”

  “You can’t just run back here whenever you like. Not unless you plan on failing your exams.”

  “Well, there’s one way to solve the problem.” Deacon looked at him curiously. “I’ll just keep you with me forever.”

  “Don’t you think that’s a bit impractical?”

  “No. I’m never letting you go now I’ve got you in my bed.”

  “I’m not in your bed yet,” Deacon pointed out.

  “A minor point,” Todd said. “You warm now?”

  “Not really. Didn’t you used to have a heater in here?” Deacon asked as he peered around the room.

  “Either Tammy or Richie’s nicked it,” Todd said. “My money’s on Tammy. Come on, let me get you some pyjamas and we’ll get under the covers to keep warm.”

  “I’m surprised you aren’t trying to get me naked,” Deacon teased.

  Todd chuckled. “I’m worried that if you strip out of your clothes right now, you’ll freeze solid.”

  Deacon kept the comforter wrapped around him as he changed into the pyjamas, then they crawled into bed. “I love you, Todd.”

  Todd pulled him back into his arms and held him close. “I love you too.”

  Todd closed his eyes and thought about waking up early in the morning with Deacon at his side, just as it should be. He didn’t care what his parents said; he was going to insist Deacon join them for the Christmas Eve meal, and for Christmas Dinner and Boxing Day, New Years—hell, every day from now on.

  * * * *

  Todd was still fast asleep when Deacon woke up. A glance at the bedside clock revealed it was just after five. Deacon wanted to go back to sleep, but a familiar fullness of his bladder told him that was going to be impossible.

  He had visited often enough to know his way to the bathroom even in the dark, and made his way upstairs and relieved himself. He caught his reflection in the mirror and flushed as the sight. There was a large hickey on his neck, and his lips were kiss-swollen and red. He suspected Todd would be sporting a similar look when he rose. Deacon grinned, switched off the light and stepped into the hallway, almost tripping over the feet of the man standing outside the bathroom door. “Sorry.”

  “I thought I heard someone up here,” Thomas Hunter said. “I didn’t think it’d be you.”

  Deacon stood straighter, the memory of his last encounter with Todd’s father not a pleasant one. “I’ll bet you didn’t.”

  “Would you like to explain what you’re doing here?”

  “Todd invited me over.” It wasn’t entirely true, but Deacon knew he would have done if he’d given him half a chance.

  “That isn’t what I meant.” Thomas waved Deacon into the guest room across the hall and closed the door behind them. “I thought we had an understanding.”

  Deacon knew what he was talking about. He hadn’t forgotten their last conversation, not long after Todd had left for university, the morning after his father had kicked him out.

  “You remember what we discussed after I caught you breaking in here?” Thomas asked, his voice polite
and quiet, but with a hint of a warning in the undertone.

  “I didn’t break in. The window was open.”

  “You knew Todd wasn’t here and you, therefore, wouldn’t be welcome.”

  Deacon glared at the older man. “I didn’t know I wouldn’t be welcome. Todd always told me to come round if I was ever in trouble at home. He understood I might need somewhere to run to one day.”

  “That’s beside the point. Do you remember what we talked about?”

  Deacon nodded.

  “Well?”

  “You told me about Todd’s plans for a career in politics, which I already knew about anyway.”

  “And I told you how difficult it would be for a gay man to get ahead in politics, even without having someone like you hanging around.”

  Deacon tried not to cringe at the ‘someone like you’ comment as he stood his ground. “I remember.”

  “Then what are you doing back here? Do you want to hold him back? I thought you wanted the best for him.”

  “I do want that, but…” He faltered in the face of Thomas’ glare.

  “But what? You wanted to get ahead in life by ensnaring a rich young man like Todd, isn’t that right?”

  “I love him, and he loves me.”

  “He’s still young and impulsive. When he’s done with university he’ll realise what a mistake it would be to be tied down to someone like you.”

  “He loves me,” Deacon repeated as he tried his best to ignore the second ‘someone like you’ sneer. “He won’t just dump me in favour of his career.”

  Thomas shook his head and walked towards the door. “Come with me.”

  Deacon didn’t know where the older man was going, but he followed him into the study. Thomas flicked on the light and walked over to his desk. He pulled open a drawer and withdrew a small folder. “How much?”

  “What?”

  Thomas picked up a pen and opened the folder to reveal a chequebook. “How much will it take for you to walk away?”

  “I’m not leaving him.”

  “Name your price.”

  Deacon shivered as he recalled Billy telling him about his own past and how he had taken the money and left his lover. The situation might have been slightly different, but the outcome would be the same. He and Todd would be separated and miserable for the rest of their lives.

  Thomas watched him steadily for several moments before signing the cheque and holding it out to him. “Write your own figure if you like,” he offered. “If you’re too greedy or overestimate my worth you get nothing. If you’re sensible you’ll take the money and leave town. Or go back to your sugar daddy.”

  “Billy’s not my sugar daddy. He’s just my boss and landlord.”

  Thomas continued to hold out the cheque. “I don’t care. I just want you out of my son’s life before you ruin it for him. He needs to find a man from a good family to spend his life with, not someone like you.”

  The third time was just one too many. “Someone who loves him, you mean?”

  “You know exactly what I mean. Todd can’t be seen hanging around with trash.”

  Deacon reeled back as though he had been slapped. He had been aware that Todd’s parents didn’t approve of their relationship, but they had never been this openly hostile towards him before. He had always known Thomas Hunter thought he wasn’t good enough for his son, but he’d never actually resorted to name-calling. Ignoring the cheque still held out to him, he turned to leave.

  “Or would you prefer to have him hate you after his life is in ruins?” Thomas asked icily.

  “Todd loves me.”

  “I don’t doubt it. But will he still feel the same after his career plans turn sour?” Deacon walked towards the door. “He’ll resent you for keeping him back. Then his so-called love will turn to hate.”

  He closed the door behind him and hurried down to the basement.

  Todd was still fast asleep. Deacon wanted to crawl in bed beside him and fulfil their promise of the night before. He wanted to forget the conversation with Thomas Hunter and pretend his boyfriend’s family was happy for them. Deacon brushed Todd’s hair back from his face. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing Todd couldn’t hear him.

  Dressing swiftly and with as little noise as possible, Deacon slipped out of the house the way he had entered, ensuring the window didn’t slam behind him.

  Chapter Five

  Todd could tell something was wrong as soon as he woke up. There was an emptiness beside him when there should have been a warm body snuggling close beneath the blankets. “Deacon?”

  Silence greeted him, and when he looked about the basement he saw Deacon’s clothes had gone. He might have wondered if he had dreamed his presence were it not for the photos on the floor.

  “Damn it, not again,” Todd said as he hurriedly dressed and ran upstairs in the vain hope Deacon might just have gone to get something to eat or use the bathroom.

  “You’re up early,” Tammy said as Todd checked the living room.

  “Have you seen Deacon this morning?”

  “No, has he been round?”

  “Yeah, last night.”

  Tammy gave him a wicked grin. “Do Mum and Dad know you snuck your boyfriend in?”

  “I’m nineteen. I don’t need their permission to have someone over.”

  “Then why didn’t he come in the front door like everyone else does?”

  “It was late. Tell Mum and Dad I’ve gone round to see him.”

  “We’re supposed to be decorating the tree this morning.”

  Todd didn’t care about their Christmas Eve tradition, and bolted for the door. He looked a fright, but he needed to know what was happening and why Deacon had vanished on him again.

  * * * *

  Deacon let himself into the flat over the garage as quietly as he could. His stealth was a little redundant when he saw Billy sitting at the kitchen table working on the books.

  “You’re back early,” Billy commented. “I thought you’d be staying there for the holidays.”

  Deacon sat opposite Billy and tried to appear calm and casual. “I didn’t want to leave you on your own.”

  “I’ve survived plenty of Christmases on my own over the years. I think I can manage without you for another one. Now do you want to tell me what really happened?”

  “How do you do that?”

  “You know what they say; it takes one to know one. When I look at you I see myself twenty years ago. I remember what lies I told myself, and I’m hearing a lot of them the last week.”

  “Things didn’t work out, okay?”

  “Why not?”

  “They just didn’t. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay.” Billy turned back to his calculator and tapped in a few more figures.

  “It’s over.”

  Billy continued to total up the column he was working on. “All right.”

  “Totally over, finished. We’re never going to see each other again.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I do say so. It’s over.”

  Billy finally looked up at him with a small smile. “Better get rid of his pictures then, don’t you think?”

  Deacon protectively reached towards his shirt pocket before he remembered they weren’t there. “Oh shit.”

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I left them in Todd’s basement.”

  “Oh well, since it’s over it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

  Deacon glared at Billy. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

  Billy smiled back innocently. “And what would that be?”

  “Git!” Deacon pushed back from the table and went through to his own room, closing the door firmly behind him. He knew Billy would give him his privacy and wouldn’t press him for details. Maybe later he would talk to him about what had happened. He’d make him see his situation was totally different to what had happened to Billy, and that would be the end of it. And maybe, after he’d convinced Billy
, he’d be able to believe the lie himself.

  * * * *

  Todd arrived at Billy’s in record time, only to be told by Billy that Deacon was refusing to come out of his room. “Can I at least try to talk to him?” he asked, and Billy waved him inside.

  “Be my guest. I’m curious to know what happened to send him running back here again.”

  “That’s what I’d like to know. I thought things were fine until I woke up this morning to find he’d left me again.”

  “So it wasn’t something you said?”

  Todd ignored the question and hammered on the door to Deacon’s room. “Open up, Deacon. I’ve got to talk to you.”

  “Go away.”

  “Stop being an idiot,” Billy called. “You’ve got to come out some time.”

  Silence was the only response they got.

  “Maybe you should come back later,” Billy suggested. “I’ll talk to him and try to find out what sent him running.”

  “I’m not leaving until he comes out here and tells me himself.”

  “And he’s not coming out until you leave. So it seems as though we’re at a bit of an impasse.”

  “I’m way more stubborn than he is,” Todd said loudly.

  “I wouldn’t bet on it,” Billy muttered as he went to put the kettle on. “Bloody teenagers.”

  Two cups of coffee later, the door finally opened. “Why can’t you just give up?” Deacon asked.

  “Because I love you,” Todd replied as he held out his arms for Deacon.

  “I don’t deserve you,” Deacon said as Todd wrapped him in a tight embrace.

  “What happened?” Billy asked as he re-boiled the kettle to make Deacon a drink.

  Deacon ducked his head. “I don’t want to hold you back,” he said to Todd.

  Todd couldn’t hide his annoyance. “Oh for god’s sake. Didn’t we already have this discussion?”

  “I think we’ve all had this discussion,” Billy said. “Deacon, when are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours the most important thing in this life is holding onto love when you find it?”

  “Have you been talking to my father?” Todd asked suddenly. “He’s always up at the crack of dawn, and this has him written all over it.”