Almost Official

by Ruby Reade

  She does look beautiful when she is angry though.

  I pull up onto my driveway and turn off the ignition, not wanting to go inside and face Drew who will literally cum in his pants when he can say he told me so. I can't be bothered explaining myself to him. It's no one else's business anyway.

  I might just go to my Mum's hou...

  TAP. TAP.

  'What the? Oh, Drew, you okay mate?' For a split second I completely freaked thinking it was Lucy tapping on my window, trying to get into my car and tear me a new arsehole.

  'Yeah, I was about to ask you the same thing. You looked at me as if I was about to assassinate you. Amy's been calling all night you lucky bastard.' He tells me climbing into the passenger seat behind me.

  'I screwed up tonight. Big time.' I confess hitting the steering wheel again. The overriding need to talk about it takes over.

  'What happened?'

  'Ha, you wouldn't even believe how stupid I was tonight.'

  'Let's be honest, arranging two dates on the same night was always going to be a recipe for disaster.' I can hear his smirk and fix him with a look in the mirror. It's at times like these I want to smash him repeatedly in the face. I stuff my hands in my jeans to keep them occupied.

  'It would have been fine if I hadn't sent Lucy a message meant for Amy.' I mutter dropping my head, still unable to believe I did it.

  'You did what? Kev that is priceless.'

  'Oh yeah, fucking priceless all right.'

  'What did she say?'

  'Who?'

  'Lucy.'

  'Well, she went as mental at me as you would expect. I tried to tell her it was an old message. I thought she might swallow it.' I shrug. 'She was having none of it.'

  'Jesus, and I thought I had bad luck with women. I swear you couldn't pay me to trade places with you right now.'

  'Cheers for that little observation.'

  'Sorry I was just saying you know.'

  'Hmmm.'

  'You should have stuck with Lucy. She is well fit. Not like that other statue you're trying to get with.'

  'Thanks for the tip but it's gone past that now. I told her not to bother calling me because we are finished.'

  'Seriously Kev sometimes you can act like a prize twat. You should call her tomorrow and sort it out.'

  'You mean like you took Leah back after what she did to you? It's the same sort of thing.'

  'It's not the same and you bloody well know it. Don't bring her into this. I was only trying to help.'

  'Drew, all I'm trying to say is that once a woman cheats, she'll do it again. It's different when women cheat. They mean it.'

  'I think cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter whether you're male or female mate.'

  'It's not the same thing at all.' I turn around to face him in the back seat. He pulls a beer out of nowhere and takes a mouthful.

  'Come on, let's go inside. All this sitting outside drinking cheap beer, and chatting random shit is reminding me of being fifteen again, and it's not a time of my life I like to remember.' He shifts in his seat.

  'Only because you used to look like a whale with spots.' I laugh.

  'Oh piss off. I need a new beer.' He informs me draining the last of the can and reaching for the door. Mind you if I had looked like him when we were at school then I guess I wouldn't want to remember it either.

  'I really can't be bothered with all this aggro.' I say to him slamming the door.

  'I couldn't be either mate. Since I split up with Leah for good, I haven't had an earache.' He gives me a half smile before walking in.

  'Not a great inspiration to me seeing as you haven't been laid either sugar.' I crack my first real smile since sending Lucy that damn message.

  'Do one Kev, seriously, do one.' He stamps up the stairs leaving me laughing at his retreating back. I manage to pull myself together when I remember Amy. Now I have to try and sort this mess out. I rub my hands roughly over my face and push her to the back of my head.

  'Drew come on mate, don't act like an emotional woman for Christ sake. Drew, Drew? Do you want me to get you some flowers and chocolates honey?' I walk up the stairs and find him in his room on the phone.

  '...Yeah sure, of course you can... I'm just going to pass you over to him now... That's right he has just walked through the door, see you later.' He hands me the phone and winks.

  'Who is it?'

  'Your date.' He replies smirking. Okay maybe I pushed him a bit too far earlier, but all I can think is which one? Is it the one who hates me, or the girl who hasn't got a clue? I take the phone my head racing.

  'Hey babe.'

  'Hi Kevin, are you okay?' Whoever she is asks. Clearly not very helpful because it could be Lucy realising that she is in the wrong and phoning to apologise, a long shot but it could happen, or Amy calling about tonight.

  'Not too bad thanks. You?' Come on give me something to work with here.

  'Well, I just wanted to know what time you were thinking about coming over tonight because it's getting late and I am working tomorrow.' Amy it is.

  'To be honest Amy I was thinking the same thing. I've only just walked through the door, but I didn't want to let you down. You do know how much I want to see you though don't you?' My acting abilities are so wasted.

  'What are you doing tomorrow night then?' She asks.

  'Taking you to dinner?'

  'You can pick me up at eight from the casino and we can go straight from there. Oh, and thanks for the flowers by the way. I can't believe you sent them to my work.'

  'I thought you might like them.' I laugh down the phone because I know for certain I am home and dry. The funny thing is, I sent the same ones to Lucy.

  They were very costly, but a nice touch if I do say so myself. I had to go to the florists out of town, which cost me more to deliver, but it was worth the effort. I couldn't have anyone gossiping and the girls finding out. The other deciding factor is the local florist is a definite future possibility.

  'Well I did, it was a lovely gesture, and it made all the other girls jealous.' I can hear her smiling down the phone. I turn around and Drew is looking at me disgusted, so I just shrug and grin at him.

  'Look darling I'm going to go and let you get your beauty sleep, and I will see you tomorrow night, okay?' I say to her while facing Drew and thrusting into him, and rolling my eyes up.

  'See you tomorrow Kevin.'

  'Night, night, night, niiiiiiiiiight.' I say pulling the phone away and cutting her off.

  'You are a knob.' He tells me shaking his head.

  'Thanks for the heads-up mate, you're a real genius, you know that?' I reply chucking the phone back at him.

  'Yeah, well, you pissed me off. Stop bringing Leah up. I told you, I don't want to talk about it.' He sighs putting the phone back on its base.

  'Mate, seriously, get another girl. Or at least a shag. Then I promise I'll leave you alone. How long has it been? It might fall off if you leave it much longer.'

  'It's only been five bloody weeks.'

  'Five weeks? That's a tragedy man. At least you must be on very good terms with your right hand.' I chuckle leaning against the door frame and pick up my beer.

  'For the record, it's my left hand, and you have enough of your own problems to be worrying about mine.' He goes to walk past me, but I carry on talking.

  'You would think so, but when there is a friend in need then I am always there giving knowledgeable advice and blow me are you needy.'

  'Hey, with your track record of recent I'm not looking for any amazing life and love lessons you have to offer.' He side-steps me and starts walking upstairs.

  'What do you mean by that? Drew? What do you mean?' I follow him. I am starting to get irritated again. If I leave him to his own devices, he'll end up a lonely hermit.

  'Nothing.' He closes the bathroom door in my face trying to end the conversation.

  'My Dad gets more action than you do mate. Think about that one while you're hiding in there.' I shout throu
gh the door undeterred.

  'Oh yeah, well, if you're not careful you will end up just like him.' He shouts back, turning the shower on full blast to drown me out.

  'And, conversation over.' I say to myself before heading back downstairs to the kitchen.

  It's not like my mum and dad have a bad marriage, I mean, she never stopped him from going out. I guess she might have been happier if he was around more though, but they are still together at the end of the day and surely that is what counts. I have suspicions that there are several of my half-brother's and sister's floating around, but I honestly don't think mum has any idea. She loves him too much to think badly of him.

  Women today are so much more demanding than my mum's generation. I can't see Lucy putting up with even a quarter of the things that my mum does. Amy definitely wouldn't for that matter.

  I make my way from the kitchen to the front room and settle down in front of the TV to watch Kitchen Nightmares. For a night that started out with so much promise, what a let-down it turned out to be.

  Chapter 3

  Lucy

  I stare at my clock, listening to it ringing to tell me to get up. I don't want to turn it off because that means I really must get out of bed.

  'Turn that thing off... Lucy... LUCY. Turn that bloody alarm off' I can hear Jen's muffled shouts from the next room.

  I reach over and hit it. Silence fills the room, and it still feels like last night because I haven't even had five minutes sleep.

  'Argh.' I drag myself into a sitting position and slump forward. It's amazingly comfortable. Now it's time to get up I could quite happily fall asleep. I can't understand why that happens, I had hours of available time last night, but only now I can't, does my body decide that yes, it would like some sleep after all.

  I hate mornings. Especially when I must get up and go to work! Becoming a WAG is my only life ambition now. If I could afford liposuction to rid myself of about a trillion stone, get hair extensions, dye them blonde and have a spray tan, I would be prefect for the job. Failing that, surely some rich, lecherous, old man would take pity on me and be my sugar daddy.

  On second thoughts, I don't think I could stomach having sex with a hideous, liver-spotted and wrinkly pensioner who has false teeth and possibly a toupee for any amount of money.

  Winning the lottery and becoming a lady that lunches is a much more desirable fantasy.

  I drag myself out of bed and into the shower in hope that it will wake me up. It's never worked before, but I can only try. I don't want to go into work smelling like an old man, all cabbages and B.O.

  I'm early enough to walk to work today, which is surprising considering I have been lying awake picturing Kevin and the hussy at it all night. If you ever need pull an all-nighter for any reason, then just get the guy you are seeing to cheat on you. Its miles better than pro-plus and Red bull. Mind you, you might not be able to concentrate on anything else.

  I stop at Tiffanies for a much needed coffee on my way to Triton Hall.

  'Hey Luce.' The manger greets me, wiping his hands on his shirt.

  'Hi Alex, it's empty in here today.' I say looking around, noting only three other people sitting down.

  'Ah that's because you're never in here this early, give it another ten minutes and it will be mobbed. What can I get you today?' He asks, leaning on the counter.

  'Oh, I'll have a, oh erm, I'll have a cappuccino, no, a hot chocolate.'

  'Do you want cream?' He asks getting a mug from the shelf.

  'No... yes...no wait, oh bugger, go on then. Oh, and a blueberry muffin.'

  I pay Alex and go over to the comfy leather sofa to wait for him to bring my order over. I relax into the chair closing my eyes. I could fall asleep here. Listening to the soft voices talking in the background, and traffic from outside slowly working its way up the high street. I can never relax in silence. I always need a bit of background noise to stop me mulling over everything.

  The smell of hot chocolate gets stronger, overriding the aroma of coffee. I opened my eyes to see that Alex had brought my drink and muffin over.

  I lean forward and scoop the cream off with my finger plopping it into my mouth. I close my eyes and I stop myself groaning. Who needs a man when you have hot chocolate and cream?

  As I'm finishing the last of my muffin, I look up and see Kevin striding past the window heading towards the gym. My stomach drops to the floor. I can't help but automatically hide behind my mug, not that a mug in front of my face is the best disguise, but you have got to work with what you have got.

  ***

  I walk into the gym. Everyone is looking morbidly depressed as usual. Crawling on the floor, I poke my head through the door and do a quick scan of the reception area to make sure it is Kevin free, and safe for me to enter.

  I look at Sarah on reception and quickly look away again. She is staring at me as if aliens have possessed me.

  'Has Kev been in here?' I mouth making lots of sweeping hand gestures and wiggling my eyebrows. My eyebrows seem to gain a life of their own when I get nervous.

  'What?' She asks looking around.

  'No. Look at me' I hiss at her. 'Haaaaaassssss keeeevvviiiiiiiinnnn beeeen heeerrree?' I mouth to her in slow motion.

  'Oh yeah, Kev went straight through to the gym Lucy.' Sarah replies so loudly she might as well have announced over the speakers.

  'He looks well peeved. Have you two had an argument?' He's not the only one that is peeved.

  'No, and it's none of your business I retort barging past her. I slam the sales office door behind me and lean against it.

  Laura isn't in yet, so I dump my bags down and turn my computer on. She is normally about twenty minutes late, so I should have a bit of time to myself.

  Sarah pops her head around the door.

  'Matt asked me to tell you he is out at a meeting this morning, Laura called and said that she missed her train and be about ten minutes, oh and Kevin asked if you could come out and talk to him.'

  'Oh no, no, no, no, no! Can you tell him I'm in a meeting?'

  ‘Err, not really. He's standing at the desk waiting.’ Fabulous, that probably means he heard me.

  'Well I can't come out. I'm really busy.'

  'He said it's about his membership.' She says looking back at the reception uncertain now. 'Do you want me to get rid of him?' She asks in a loud whisper.

  This is getting ridiculous. Why does she have to whisper louder than she talks?

  'No, it's fine.' I sigh. 'Tell him to wait in the coffee room.'

  I walk up to the coffee bar where he is standing with his back to me.

  'Kevin.' He turns around. My stomach flips over, when I notice he is wearing the t-shirt I brought him for our first anniversary. He knows I love that top on him.

  'Alright smart arse?' Not a typical term of endearment to other people I guess, but it's the way he looks at me when he says it.

  'So.'

  'So, I wanted to come and say sorry about last night to your face.'

  'Look Kev, I'm at work. This really isn't the best place to be having this conversation.'

  'I know, but I didn't think you would meet up with me.' He raises his eyebrows and leans back on the bar folding his arms.

  'You're probably right. I don't see what the point would be, I slept with Matt, once I might add, you're sleeping with this Amy, and probably others, so it's quite clear neither of us are really working at it.' I watch his face change. He doesn't seem to be thinking how much he wants to be with me now. Half of me wants to start this whole conversation again, and this time accept his apology. I want his arms wrapped around me all strong and warm.

  'If you feel like that, then no, I guess not.'

  I put my head down. I feel him walk past me, but I can't bring myself to look.

  'Just for the record, I never cheated on you, and I only asked Amy out when I heard about Matt.'

  When I hear the door close behind him the lump in throat seems to get bigger. My eyes are blurred, threat
ening to pour tears down my face.

  I half walk, half jog blindly back into my office before I start crying.

  As the door shuts, I can't hold it back anymore. The last time I cried like this was when I fell off my bike riding home from school. I managed to cut both of my knees, my hands and chin. This time the damage is all internal.

  As Laura walks through the door, I have reached the point of no return. I have sobbed so hard I can't breathe.

  'Jesus what the hell Lucy? Luce? Breathe deeply.' Laura orders me. She throws her bags down and grabs me by the shoulders.

  'Breathe slowly in. And out. Come on Luce, in, and out.' She pulls my hands from my face.

  I hiccup and half smile at her.

  'I'm fine, honestly. Well, I will be.' I reassure her moving away.

  'Hmm you don't look fine darling.'

  'Oh my god. You stink.' I momentarily forget my misery and take a deep breath of pure alcohol.

  'Ha, probably because I only got home half an hour before I had to leave to get here on time, well almost.' She grimaces at me.

  It's good to know that even beautiful people have bad hair days. Laura's normally sleek blonde hair is lying in tufts.

  'So, ah, what happened last night? Did you have a good time?' I ask, trying to distract her from my problems.

  'Last night? I don't really remember.' She looks at me with guilt written all over her face.

  'Oh?' I wait for more but am disappointed. Normally if I don't say anything, she can't help herself but tell me her secret and fill the silence.

  'Why the breakdown this morning, have you found something out?' She asks diverting me instead.

  'You could say that.' I roll my shoulders. 'Kevin just came in because we had a massive row. He knows about Satan, I have no idea how he found out. Then I found out about another girl called Amy.' My voice is starting to break. 'I think it's over mate.' I whisper putting my head on the desk to upset to cry anymore.

  'Ah honey, come here.' She folds me up into a hug, and I think I might get drunk from her fumes. Thank god she doesn't smoke because she might light up like a rocket if any naked flames came within less than a foot of her.

  I pull myself away again and try to compose myself.