Almost Official

by Ruby Reade

  My brain sends me an awful image of Lucy at the Hen Do pulling some strippers pants off with her teeth. I mentally push it away.

  'Come on mate the girls are loving it.' Pete slaps me on the back and waves his arm around gesturing to the crowd. I think he may have his wires a bit crossed, at least he is finally happy and not glued to the phone. He does a random pirouette which is enough for me.

  'Drink.' I shout and mime. We grab Luke and Drew on the way through who have moved on to stealth bumming some random girls and pissing off the group of guys with them.

  I can't believe it. He is on his fucking phone again.

  'Ah shit. Guys. Guys.' Pete is waving both arms to get our attention. 'Quick come outside. I've got an urgent message from Kate.' Pete tries to shout over the music which is impossible. He points to the exit. We follow him to the smoking section outside and huddle around to read the message.

  'Call me immediately. It's important Kate x'

  'Doesn't really tell you much though does it.' I say.

  'Why is she messaging you.' Luke asks frowning and trying to grab the phone.

  'All the phones are off limits remember. I'm the only one who is allowed one.' Pete reminds him.

  'Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot.'

  We all watch him call her back. I should have called. What the hell is so important?

  'Kate, it's P... yeah... what? Why?... yeah... oh bloody hell, did she? What about Jen?' I watch him nodding and shaking his heads while he paced up and down three steps each way. I should have called. I can't stand this. 'Yeah alright. We'll leave now... okay see you in a bit.' He hangs up but doesn't turn to face us for a second.

  'Pete?' I call him.

  'Well?' Luke asks.

  'Lucy had an accident and is in hospital.' All their heads spin towards me. I just stare at them and I am unable to ask the question.

  'Is she alright.' Drew asks for me.

  'Kate said she hit her head on something and an ambulance took her to the hospital. They are all there now and just waiting to hear.' Pete tells us and they all turn to look at me again.

  'Fuck. Fuck it. Stupid, stupid girl. I've got to get up there but you lot stay and try and enjoy the rest of the night.' I tell them scanning the road for a taxi.

  'No, we'll all go mate. The girls are all up there except Jen so I think we should.' Pete makes the decision for the group. I shrug and don't have time to argue.

  My mind is racing with different scenarios. Maybe she was too drunk and fell over, maybe someone hurt her? In-between the images, is a rising feeling of dread that I can't get rid of. I find myself praying she is okay. I don't think I have prayed since I was a kid praying for what I wanted for Christmas, but it feels like the right thing to do in the circumstances.

  By the time we reach the hospital my mind can't take much more. As soon as the car has stopped, I am out of it and straight through the doors. I nearly lose my balance when I get inside stopping to steady myself giving the boys a chance to catch up.

  'Lucy Holmes.' I say to the receptionist before I reach her desk. Hopefully the distance will hide the smell of alcohol on me as well.

  She raises her eyebrows at me and points in the direction of her ward. 'Just through there.' She says.

  Without a word I rush through the double doors to go and find her.

  The first person I see is Kate. By this point I am practically running.

  'Kate. Kate what happened?'

  'It's okay. She will be alright.' Kate reassures me and pulls me in for a tight hug. I relax as she hugs me. No one is crying or panicked so that is a good sign.

  'She was on the podium in Revival when she slipped and hit her head. They said it is just a mild concussion and a nasty lump, obviously where she was drinking it made it worse. The manager insisted they take her to hospital. They have to protect themselves as well.'

  'You seem pretty sober for a Hen who is about to be married.' I say not sure what to say about Lucy.

  'Yeah you would be too if you had the mare we had. I said it might knock some sense into her.' She says and laughs trying to cheer me up.

  I laugh too, mainly from relief, but I feel better than five minutes ago.

  'Only Lucy. Only Lucy can cause such chaos with such little effort.' I take a deep breath. I feel almost sober now and my belly is growling at me.

  'You can't see me.' Kate shrieks diving behind me when she notices Luke. 'It's bad luck. You have to get out of here.'

  'Shit baby. Sorry I didn't think. I just wanted to be here with you when we heard what happened.' He is panicking now and knows how much he doesn't need any more bad luck right now. Unless he uses it to his advantage and says because he saw her it all went wrong? Thin, very thin.

  The doctor interrupts the game of hide and seek. 'Are you friends of Lucy Holmes?' He asks us. We all crowd around him.

  'Right, she is discharging herself, but she needs to go home with someone and be kept an eye on in case she gets worse again.' He warns us.

  'I'll take her. She can stay with me.' I offer straight away. Looking after might soften her up a bit.

  'I am here and no thanks, I've already called mum.' Lucy says walking out from behind the doctor looking rough as hell and swaying slightly. I close my eyes and turn away.

  'Are you sure darling? I can take you home to her.' Kate offers putting her arms gently around her.

  'I am definitely sure. All I need is my bed and a decent night’s sleep before tomorrow.' She says managing a smile.

  'It's a good job you hit the back of your head and didn't ruin your pretty face.' I say without making eye contact with her.

  'Tell me about it.' She answers looking at Kate still.

  'Okay boys let's go and finish our night off if we’re done here?' I say hoping she will at least say thank you for coming to check on her, or sorry for ruining our night, or any other number of things that might show just a little gratitude.

  'Yeah you can leave now.' Is all she says. I don't know why I came. All I want is a kebab and bed. I feel deflated.

  What a night.

  'Bye then.' She says as I am leaving the ward.

  What a fucking night.

  Chapter 39

  Lucy

  'Lucy. Lucy.' I can hear my name being called but can't even think about opening my eyes.

  'LUCY.' I wake up with a jolt. School. I'm late. My mum is shouting at me inches from my face.

  'I can't go to school today. Sick.' I tell her rolling over. I have woken up with a banging headache and the worst case of swollen furry tongue.

  'Lucy you are not going to school now get up.' She orders me.

  'Urghmala.' Is all that comes out. The effort makes sick come up to the back of my throat.

  'Come on darling. I have left you as long as possible, but it really is time to get up now.' She says opening the curtains, letting in far too much light.

  'Why? Where are you going?' I ask noticing the full face of makeup, dress and a hat. Why is she wearing a hat? Maybe I'm still asleep?

  'Kate's wedding.' She stops fussing and turns to me with a frown. 'You did hit it hard. Do. You. Know. Who. I. Am? She asks slowly pronouncing each word.

  'Of course, I know who you fucking are. Sorry. Sorry mum.' I apologise instantly when I see her face. Then what she has been trying to tell me finally clicks. The wedding. Kate's wedding. Shitty ball bags, bum, twats.

  'What time is it?' I ask leaping from the bed expecting to run to the shower. Instead, I am shocked to find myself in a heap on the floor. I roll into a moaning, painful ball.

  'You have half an hour.' She says checking her watch.

  'What? You are joking? Oh my bloody god. Well that's just great. Abso-fucking-lutely fantastic.' I drag myself up. It takes longer than that to get ready on a normal day.

  I look in the mirror and I am not surprised at the state that stares back at me. I look like hammered shit. I move like a sloth but manage to get into the shower, shave and clean.

  'Ughmmm.' I moan as
I clean my teeth. It feels so good and I lean against the bathroom sink for a bit of extra support. I feel a bit more alive.

  Dragging the bridesmaids dress on I gulp down the tea my mum left out for me. I am at about thirty percent normal which is better than the minus ninety million I was when I woke up.

  'I've got to go darling. The taxi is here, are you coming now or what are you doing?' Mum asks popping her head through the door.

  'No, no I'm not ready yet. I have one coming in five minutes to go to Kate's before the car leaves.' I say grabbing the hot part of the straighteners and burn my hand in the process. 'Ouch.' I yelp. 'Any more fucking things?' I ask the ceiling hopping about and holding my hand.

  'Calm down.' She huffs at me.

  'I am calm.’ I growl back at her. She puts her hands up.

  'Love you darling, I will see you in a bit then.' She says disappearing.

  My phone is ringing for the millionth time. I grab it just as it stops ringing and see thirteen messages, each one getting more urgent as they go unanswered.

  'Get your butt here now. I am not getting married without you. That's an order love K x' Comes through messenger.

  Shit, shit, shit. I have ten minutes until the car leaves Kate's house for the church.

  'I will meet you there just about to leave now.' I quickly type back.

  I look longingly at the straighteners before grabbing my bag and rushing out the door to the taxi who is loudly honking his horn.

  I get to the church with about two minutes to spare. I have frizzy hair, an orange face and patchy bronzer, but I am here. I am here. I take a deep breath and lean against the brick wall waiting for Kate to arrive.

  After minute I look around and wonder why I can't see anyone yet. Oh god what if it has already started. Kate is going to kill me. I pick up my skirt and run to the doors which are shut. That isn't a good sign and can only mean it's all underway. Shit, shit, shit. I use all my weight to get the heavy door open, but it is surprisingly light and so I crash through and land in a heap on the floor. I keep my head down and wait for the laughs and gasps of shock at the state of me, but there is silence. I look up and it is empty. This isn't right. I slowly stand up and look around half expecting them all to jump out on me.

  'Hello?' I call out.

  'Hello dear.' A priest at the end of the room says back.

  Ah they must all be at the back doing pictures of the guests and maybe Kate is late as well. I breathe out and wave feeling better. I'm not late, everything is okay.

  'Just going to go outside and wait for everyone.' I tell him and walk back out into the sun. I follow the walkway to the back of the church, but it's empty here too. This is getting weird now. Where is everyone?

  I pull my phone out and ring Jen.

  'Lucy where the fuck are you?' She whispers down the phone.

  'What do you mean where am I? I'm here where are you? I've been here for ages.' I tell her and start walking to the front again expecting to see cars pulling up.

  'You are?' She sounds confused. 'But I can't see you anywhere. Tell me whereabouts and I'll come and get you because they are all waiting to go inside. We turned up and Luke and Kevin have disappeared into some little room so they took Kate me and Laura to another room but we came outside to wait for you.'

  'Is that her?' Kate shrieks down the phone.

  'Yes baby girl, it's me and I'm here but there isn't anyone outside.' I tell her rubbing my forehead.

  'Are you joking? Lucy there is a million people here, we're all outside and the size of my dress makes me unmissable.'

  'You are at the Abbey aren't you?' Jen takes the phone back.

  'Of course I am at the... what? No. I'm at the white church.' I am at the wrong church. I am at the wrong fucking church.

  'Shit.' Is all Jen says.

  'Give me five minutes, I will run.' I tell her cutting the call and shoving my phone down my dress. Grabbing my skirt, I make a mad dash for it.

  I bloody hate running.

  My dress keeps slipping and my heel is getting caught in the hem, just to make things that little bit more difficult. I can feel my face turning purple and my head is pounding. I can't even begin to imagine how awful I look, but people’s faces as I whizz past them down the high street gives me a pretty good idea. Why is it always me?

  I collapse against the church gate in a complete mess. I look how I should look at the end of the night.

  'Hey, hey.' Jen is waving and marching towards me.

  'Come on everyone is sitting inside now and we are just waiting for our call.' I groan when she grabs my arm and starts to drag me towards the church. 'Well, I have to say that you look like shit, but how do you feel?' she asks smiling at me.

  'Like I look.' Is all I can manage.

  She puts her arm around me, still marching us to the girls.

  'About time love.' Kate says running up to me.

  'You look just beautiful.' I tell her hugging her tightly. I struggle holding back the tears. Taking a deep breath in I stand back to get a proper look at her.

  ‘You on the other hand, look less than great. Go and sort yourself out in the bathroom, we can wait a few minutes more and someone has to go and tell the boys anyway.' She reassures me looking so calm and happy.

  'I thought it was supposed to be the bride who is late.' I say looking back down and notice dirt coating the hem of my skirt.

  'I have never been late for anything in my life, now come on before we miss our slot.' She gives me a little shove and a grin.

  I run out of the room to a hallway filled with doors that have no signs. I follow the corridor getting faster as I go. Ten doors later and I am trying each handle as I go but they are all locked. The first one that opens leads to a small office. There is another door at the back which must be a toilet. I'm just about to open the door when I hear Kevin's voice.

  '...screw it up now. If you don't go through with this because of last night, then you will regret it forever mate.' I hear him advising Luke and want to find out what exactly happened last night now.

  'I know I will. I want nothing more than to walk out there and have the perfect day, but how can I when I haven't told her about the money?' Luke asks. What money? What the bloody hell has he done that is so bad. I don't know if should tell Kate something is up or not.

  'Look, she will be mad, she will definitely be mad. But by then you will already be married. Look at me and Lucy and all the shit we have been through. You don't want for you and Kate to end up like us do you?' I can't believe he is comparing our shitty little whatever we were to Luke and Kate. Well at least he is free of me now if I was that bad, personally I think he had it easy compared to what I had to endure being with him.

  'Anyway, picture Kate's face and how she will without a doubt torture you if you don't turn up and leave her at the altar.' Kevin warns.

  'Ah shit. I can't do that either. Oh fuck it. Let's do it. Let's get me married.' I can hear them getting up and make a hasty dash out of the room before they see me. It sounds like Kate's anger at him not turning up is worse than what he thinks she will be like when she finds out what he has done. I open the door and see the door opposite has a sign on it for the toilets. I dive through it and slam the door.

  I wait a minute leaning against the door waiting for them to pass by whooping and cheering as they go.

  I walk over to the mirror and sigh at the monstrosity staring back at me. I can't wait for today to be over.

  I pull my makeup bag out and get to work. I can't be the only one to spoil the wedding pictures by looking like a pissed off old hag.

  A few moments later and I look slightly more reasonable, except for my hair. What I wouldn't give for my GHD's now. Instead I pull out a couple of clips and drag my hair up into a bun so at least it looks neat. I plaster a grin on my face. Not too bad. I'm sure a few glasses of champagne might help. I head back to the girls with the smile fixed on my face.

  I am going to have jaw ache as well as a headache by the end of
the day.

  Chapter 40

  Lucy

  'Lucy. Lucy. You're hopping about like a rabbit.' Kate tells me off. I stop fidgeting and smooth my dress with my hands.

  'Sorry Kate. I'm just freaking out a bit. I don't know how you can be so calm.' Here she is, the focus of attention, acting as if it’s all lovely and okay. Then there is me who is freaking out. Oh, bloody hell I'm so glad I'm not the one getting married.

  'I am really excited about getting out there and standing next to Luke, so I'm not worried at all.' She says. Well I can certainly wait a lifetime before I want to be anywhere near Kevin again, although that isn't happening. I only have about five minutes.

  'Hmm, well I for one am a bit nervous about not tripping up or making even more of a fool of myself than usual in front of a large group of people. And to top it off I am now really sweaty.' I inform her, just in case she wanted to know. The man waiting at the door looking for the signal to let us in turns around open mouthed at me. 'Shhh.' He shuts me up. Bloody shhh? 'Shhh.' I silently mime at his back.

  'Charming Lucy.' Kate grins at me and turns back to face the doors. 'You will be fine.' She reassures me without looking back.

  The opening chords start on the organ and the doors open. I feel like I am going on the most terrifying ride in the world and there is no way off. Before I can think anymore, we are off. I take a deep breath as we walk through the archway.

  Like a homing device my eyes instantly catch Kevin's. I get so distracted I almost step on Kate's train.

  Breathe and walk, just, breathe and walk.

  I watch Kevin lean in to say something in Luke's ear. When we reach the end of the aisle, my heart stops with the music, and I find myself holding my breath.

  Kate takes her place next to Luke.

  It's funny, if things had worked out differently then it could have been me and Kevin up there getting married. He looks gorgeous in his suit. Maybe in another lifetime.

  I jump in the air when Kate's mum touches my arm. I finally realise that everyone is looking at me because everyone is in place apart from me standing like a wally in the middle of the aisle still. My internal thermometer explodes, and I am sweating all over again. I put my head down and make a hasty jog over to stand next to Laura on the left of the aisle.