Craving Redemption

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  I felt my legs lose all feeling, and Asa wrapped one arm around my waist to keep me standing.

  “Some of the boys went and quietly taught the man a lesson. He’s a brother, and in that he deserves some respect, but that’s Echo’s woman. Not to mention the fact that girl is about a hundred pounds soakin’ wet and was getting smaller by the day. No way we could let that shit go—but we couldn’t do anything officially, either.”

  Asa’s arms grew so tight around me that it was a struggle to breathe, but still he kept silent, letting Michael finish the story.

  “We thought it was over, man, we thought we made things clear.” He raised his hands in supplication, but I felt no sympathy as he finished. “No way that broken arm came from her mama.”

  I wrenched myself from Asa and flew across the room at a silent Echo, punching him over and over wherever I could reach. He stood there stoically, letting me pound him, with his jaw clenched and his chin raised until Asa yanked me away from him.

  “He deserved respect?” I screeched. “She was being hurt and you did nothing? What the fuck is wrong with you!” I pulled at Asa’s arms, my hair flying in all directions as I reached for Echo. “Where were you? She needed you! Where the fuck were you?”

  I fought and screamed until Asa finally subdued me with a hand over my mouth. I watched Echo, my chest burning, and I could have gladly killed him and felt no remorse.

  “She told me shit was getting better. She said that Gator wasn’t around as much and she was spending most of her time here with you!” He looked at me accusingly until Asa growled in warning.

  “This afternoon, we got in a fight because she wouldn’t stay at my place and wait while I took a meet. She said she was coming here. She said she was coming here, so when she called me, I ignored it. She said she was coming here!” He spun around and punched the wall over and over, mumbling to himself. “I ignored it. She said she was coming here,” he repeated over and over again until his shoulders slumped and he grew quiet.

  “You did what you could, brother,” Asa told him quietly, and my eyes shot to him in accusation. “You did what you could, there ain’t no use looking back. But you got a girl in there that needs you to get straight so we can handle this. You with me?”

  I couldn’t believe what he was saying and my chest burned in betrayal. I didn’t hear Echo’s answer because I reached back and pinched Asa hard, startling him into loosening his arms so I could escape.

  “Don’t touch me!” I hissed as he reached out to grab me. “You guys are disgusting! He did everything he could, huh? A little intimidation, because, hey, the guy is a brother and deserves respect? That’s all he could do? You all make me sick.”

  I stormed into my room to find Farrah sitting up in my bed, crying softly.

  Chapter 45

  Callie

  I lay in bed with Farrah after she’d cried herself to sleep, but I couldn’t shut down my brain.

  I was guilty—as guilty as the guys talking quietly in my living room. I’d noticed something was wrong with Farrah. I’d seen all the signs, but I hadn’t pressed her for information because I’d believed that my life was so incredibly difficult that I couldn’t handle her issues, too.

  When I’d been screaming at Echo, I was also screaming at myself.

  I should have done something.

  I watched Farrah’s chest rise and fall as I thought about how the guys had thought they’d handled things and how I felt about Asa’s commiserating words. He’d acted like what they’d done was normal—that they were completely justified in keeping things quiet and not even going to the police.

  I knew that Asa’s world was different than the world everyone else lived in. I’d known it from the moment he walked brashly into the party where I’d met him. Everything he did was a testament to how he lived his life, from taking in a girl of sixteen to the tattoos that were slowly working their way up his neck.

  So what he’d said wasn’t surprising—not really. It was apparent that they lived under a code that I could never understand; I just hadn’t seen the ugliness of that code until that night. Asa was still the same man I ran to if things were bad, the same person I called if I had good news, and even as I lay there in bed, I ached to touch him after being away from him for so long.

  I had to make a decision, and I had no idea how I’d do that. If I chose to overlook what I’d heard in the kitchen, I felt like I was condoning their decision to leave Farrah to the wolves, but if I left Asa, I didn’t think I would survive it.

  When Farrah woke up late the next morning, she practically made the decision for me.

  “Hey, Callie?” she called sleepily from the bed. “Can you go get Echo for me?”

  I looked at her in confusion, but when she pushed herself up as if to get him herself, I scrambled out of the room. Asa wasn’t in the apartment when I made my way to the kitchen, but Echo was. I nodded my head toward the bedroom, taking in his dirty clothes and messy hair before turning away as he left the room. I never found out what they said that day, and it really wasn’t any of my business—but when I went to check on Farrah two hours later, the two were cuddled in the middle of the bed with Farrah tucked gently against Echo’s chest.

  Asa showed up after I’d showered and made myself lunch, and I had to force myself not to look at him as he grabbed a beer out of our fridge.

  “You ignoring me?” he grumbled quietly, his tone implying that I was being unreasonable.

  “Not ignoring you, just don’t have anything to say,” I replied, never looking his way.

  “Yeah, okay,” he scoffed, and my head snapped up in irritation. “Ah, there’s my girl.”

  “I can’t believe you said that last night!” I growled quietly, hoping to keep our conversation from Echo and Farrah. “He fucked up, badly!”

  “Yeah, Sugar. I know that,” he told me with a nod, moving forward to wrap his arms around my stiff body. “But those thoughts aren’t gonna help anyone. He fucked up, it’s over. Man’s gotta get his head in the game—that girl in there needs him to be a man, not some pussy that can’t get over the guilt he’s feeling. She needs him to take care of shit—and there wasn’t any way he was gonna be able to do that acting like he was last night.”

  I let his words sink in, deciding that they made a weird sort of sense.

  “But what was that shit about respect?” I asked incredulously. “You really believe that?”

  He sighed and was quiet for a minute before meeting my eyes. “I have never in my life agreed with a man putting his hands on a woman. I stop that shit when I can, and it burns me when I can’t. But the club has a set of rules, Callie,” he told me while I rolled my eyes. “No, don’t do that shit. Let me finish. We have our own laws that we live by, that we choose to live by when we decide to become a part of this life. If we didn’t, shit would be anarchy—brothers ratting each other out, stabbing each other in the back—no loyalty. You understand what I’m telling you?”

  “I understand the words coming out of your mouth, but it still sounds like bullshit,” I answered petulantly, crossing my arms over my chest.

  He huffed in amusement. “It may sound like bullshit to you, but it’s the way we survive. Echo beating the shit outta Gator could have got him in deep shit. He’s got no claim on her.”

  “But they’ve been together for like a year!”

  “Yeah, Sugar, but he never claimed her. Farrah didn’t want that shit—told Echo that she didn’t want that life.” He shook his head. “His hands were tied.”

  “Okay,” I replied softly, trying to process his words, “but what happens now?”

  “I made some calls. Knew Farrah’s mom sounded familiar, couldn’t remember how. I remember now.” He raised his hand to my face. “Farrah’s dad is on his way here, Calliope. You need to brace because shit is gonna get worse before it gets better.”

  My eyes felt like they were going to pop out of my head at his revelation, and I opened my mouth and closed it again before I could fin
d my tongue.

  “What? She doesn’t even know who her dad is! Why would you do that?” I gasped, scared as hell at what Farrah’s reaction would be.

  “Sugar, Echo’s hands are tied.” He leaned down and gave me a fierce kiss before raising his head again. “Slider’s hands are not.”

  Chapter 46

  Callie

  The day passed slowly for everyone in the house, but especially for me as I worried about the imminent arrival of Farrah’s dad. Apparently he was the president of Asa’s club, the married president. The fact that he’d been married for over twenty-five years didn’t endear me to the man, but I made myself hold all judgment until I saw how he treated Farrah.

  He’d been gone her entire life, contributing no more than a sleazy orgasm with Farrah’s disgusting mom, but the fact that he was coming to Sacramento for her gave me hope that he had some redeeming qualities. I just prayed that Farrah wouldn’t completely lose it when he introduced himself.

  I heard them before I saw them.

  The apartment was filled with a loud roar of bikes, to the point of rattling a mason jar sitting on the windowsill. It startled me until I looked at Asa who wore a satisfied smile on his face. He opened up the front door before anyone could knock, and suddenly my home was filled with at least ten very large men. They weren’t quiet in their greetings, and a sound from my bedroom had me rushing away from the group toward Farrah.

  “What’s going on?” she asked me quietly, as Echo rose from his place next to her.

  “Grease called in reinforcements,” I answered her with a grim smile.

  “Why are you calling him Grease? You never call him Grease,” she replied, her nose scrunched in confusion for only a second before she was wincing and raising her hand to her face.

  “He’s Asa to me,” I told her ruefully, climbing into Echo’s deserted spot. “But today, he’s definitely Grease.”

  We sat on my bed as Echo wandered into the living room, and I grabbed her hand as my heart raced. It took them longer to make their way to my room than I thought it would, and by the time they did, Farrah was leaning heavily against my side with her head on my shoulder.

  Asa led a man I’d never met into the room, and I braced, only to relax a little when I saw Poet come in behind them. It was nice to see a familiar face, and I couldn’t help but smile when he winked at me from behind the others.

  “Farrah—” Asa rumbled, but his words were cut off by the girl at my side.

  “Hey, Pop. What are you doing in my neck of the woods?” she called out cockily.

  I watched in awe as three pairs of eyes opened wide and the man in front cleared his throat nervously.

  “You know who I am?” he asked, tipping his head to the side as he studied her.

  “Mom has a picture of you,” she answered flatly. “You look a lot older, your shit’s gone gray, but yeah, I know who you are.”

  He looked at a loss for words as he stared at her, eventually taking steps closer to the bed. With every inch, Farrah’s hand tightened on mine beneath the blankets at our hips, but she showed no other display of nervousness.

  “I’m gonna make this right for you,” he told her, his eyes intent on her face.

  “Why bother?” she scoffed. “When mom was shooting up and letting junkies into our house, you didn’t ‘make things right for me’. You didn’t do shit when she started whaling on me for no reason. And I’m pretty goddamn sure that you were nowhere to be found when her husband beat the hell out of me—” she pulled the neck of her t-shirt down,“—and used a cigar to burn me.”

  Slider’s eyes went glossy for a moment, and Poet ran a hand over his face when she bared the insides of her breasts. When she turned her head away from them in dismissal, Slider pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes with his fingers.

  “I’m gonna make this right for you,” he repeated, his voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t have left you with your mama. I got no excuse except that I had a wife—”

  “Yeah, I’m well versed in married men who fuck my mother,” she replied in a bored tone, never looking his way. “And parents who put their pieces of ass before their children.”

  “I know you’re pissed at me, and you got a right to that, but I don’t ever wanna hear you disrespect my wife,” he warned, looking at the back of her head where her hair was still matted and tangled.

  “You don’t ever have to hear anything from me,” she answered quietly. “Get the fuck away from me. You’re nothing.”

  He was scary, and he had a way of looking at you that made you think that he could kill you at any moment and not feel anything. But the tremble in Farrah’s voice, and the knowledge that she’d hate them looking at her the way she was, had me squeezing her hand and jumping off the bed. I strode to where her dad was standing and stopped right in front of him while Asa looked on with his jaw clenched.

  “Out,” I ordered, pointing to the door.

  “What?” he asked incredulously, his eyebrows lifting in surprise.

  “Out of this room.”

  “Calliope—” Asa called in warning, but I waved him off.

  “I get that you’re scary, and you could probably snap me in half,” I told him seriously, “but she isn’t yours, she is mine. You gave up your rights. She wants you out of this room, and I don’t care how you feel about that. I also don’t care how I have to get you out of here—I may have to knee you in the balls and drag your crying ass into the hallway, but you will leave this room.”

  We stared each other down for a few minutes before he turned abruptly and walked out of the room, mumbling to Asa to control his woman. I flipped him off behind his back, and Poet covered his laugh with a cough as he strode out behind him.

  “The fuck, Calliope?” Asa roared at me, as I started to push him out of the room.

  “We’re not having this discussion now,” I informed him as I moved him to the doorway. “Your loyalty may be to him, but mine is to her.” I pointed in Farrah’s direction. “Now make sure that those men are in the living room or kitchen and out of the hallway. I’m gonna help Farrah take a shower. She looks like shit.”

  I closed the door in his face and swung around quickly at Farrah’s laugh.

  “I don’t care if I have to knee you in the balls!” she snickered at me. “That was fucking classic.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled back at her as I tried to find some clothes that wouldn’t fall off her thin frame. “You’d better be thankful. Asa likes to spank me when he thinks I’ve done something wrong.”

  She snorted with laughter and climbed gently off the bed. “Dude, I know. We all heard that shit at your party.”

  “Shut up,” I griped back, my skin burning. “Grab a towel from the closet, would you?”

  We made our way to the bathroom without interruption, but I was helping her undress when there was a knock at the door.

  “We’re busy! Pee outside!” I called, causing Farrah to snicker.

  “Yeah, I know,” Echo’s voice came through the door, causing both of us to freeze.

  I looked at Farrah to get her permission and then opened the door a little to let Echo into the tiny bathroom. His gaze was locked on Farrah as he stepped inside, and I felt like a third wheel as I tried to scoot my way past him.

  “Echo will help me, Callie,” Farrah told me quietly, lifting her hand to his face.

  “Okie doke! I’ll just, you know, go.” I scrambled to open the door and escape the intimacy I was witnessing. “Let me know if you need anything!”

  After I closed the door behind me, I straightened my shoulders and made my way to the living room.

  Chapter 47

  Grease

  I’d been half embarrassed and half impressed as I’d watched Callie stare down Slider and force him out of our room. It was a stupid thing to do, but hell if she didn’t do it in a way that had both Slider and Poet looking at her with respect.

  We were standing around the counter, quietly making plans, when Callie tip
toed into the kitchen. She tried to act like she was unaffected by the men in our home, but I could tell that old demons were surfacing by the slightly panicked look in her eyes. I met her gaze and lifted my arm for her as she scooted around the counter and slid in beside me, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my chest.

  “Hey, Sugar. Farrah still in the shower?”

  “Yeah, Echo is helping her,” she answered me quietly. “She didn’t need me in there.”

  “Yeah, he’ll take care of her.”

  “Like he did before?” she scoffed lightly, before turning her face away from me.

  I gave her that and didn’t start an argument, no matter how badly I wanted to set her straight. The man did his best, and he was broken up about it. There was no use pointing fingers at people who weren’t to blame, especially if Farrah had already forgiven him.

  “You’ve got brass ones, girl,” Slider called to Callie from across the table, a smirk on his face.

  “My name is Callie.”

  “Know what your name is, but you threatened to kick me in the balls earlier, so I think I’ll call you girl.”

  “Whatever.” She looked away from him with her nose up, and I couldn’t stop my lips from pulling into a grin. Brass ones.

  “Girl,” Slider’s voice lowered, “I’m glad my daughter has you on her side. Ain’t many people that would stand up to a man like me.”

  “I didn’t help when it mattered,” she confessed quietly.

  “There was nothing you could do to stop it,” he answered, leaning forward across the counter. “Girl like you might think she can take on the world, but she’d be wrong. Don’t know her, but I have a feeling your friend is a whole lot like me—keeps her cards close to her chest. Doubt you even knew what was happening.” His voice lowered to an intense whisper, “You ain’t to blame for that.”

  He leaned back and turned to Poet who was watching the scene with a thoughtful look on his face. “Need a smoke.”

  As Slider left the room, Poet came to stand in front of Callie and reached down to run his hand along her hair in a soft gesture.