Two Words I'd Never Say Again

by Remi Carrington

  His victory celebration sent the cards flying. Some fell between the cushions.

  He gathered up the cards. “This love seat isn’t working.”

  “There isn’t a table in here other than this little one.”

  “We’ll move the game to the bed. Plenty of room up there.”

  I swung wide around the hot tub as I padded over to the bed. If this was his way of making it less weird when we crawled into bed to sleep, I had to give him credit for the good idea.

  Game play resumed.

  For an hour, we threw down cards.

  His deck had gotten thicker. I was down to ten cards.

  “Remember that night when we were camping and played Texas Hold ’em half the night?” Hank continued playing cards without looking up.

  I remembered. That was the night I knew I was in love. A week later, he’d proposed. “I lost after going all in.” The symbolism made me heart sick.

  We both laid down threes, then put down our war cards. This time fives sent us into another battle. In the end, I slapped down the high card.

  “You won that round.” He yawned. “Let’s call it for tonight. We both have to be happy and sociable tomorrow.”

  “You don’t want to play until someone loses their whole deck?”

  “There doesn’t always have to be a winner and a loser, Nacha.” He held out his hand.

  I slipped my fingers into his palm. “Maybe tomorrow night we can talk.”

  “I’d like that.” He stared at our joined hands.

  When his gaze cut to the cards in my other hand, a light went off in my head. “You put your hand out for my cards, didn’t you?”

  He nodded. “But I always like the feel of your hand in mine.”

  I plopped my deck into his palm. “Make sure you stay on your side of the bed.”

  Chapter 3

  Warm and comfortable, I didn’t want to open my eyes. As my morning fog cleared, I realized the reason for the warmth. Shoving Hank’s arm off me, I sat up. “You didn’t stay on your side.”

  He opened one eye. “Did too.”

  “But you—” I shut my mouth when I saw that my side of the bed was empty.

  “Not gonna lie. I liked having company on my side.”

  I crawled to my side and climbed out of bed. “I have to eat something and start getting ready.” By something I meant dark chocolate and hopefully coffee.

  Yawning, he stretched bare arms into the air. When had he taken off his shirt? That chest . . . and those arms. He’d spent a lot of time working out. “I’ll go get you something. Give me a second in the bathroom, then it’s all yours for as long as you need it.”

  “Thank you. I’m sorry I accused you.”

  “Accused me of cuddling you? Guilty.” He rolled out of bed, and thankfully was still wearing pajama pants. “But as I recall, there was no rule about that.”

  I stared at my suitcase, thinking through what I’d need. “My dress! I left it in Haley’s room.”

  “If you don’t have any issue with me seeing the dress before the wedding, I’ll get it from her room while I’m out getting breakfast.” He winked before closing himself in the bathroom.

  “You aren’t funny.”

  Laughter sounded from the other side of the door.

  Somebody familiar and alluring had replaced the sniveling, apologetic Hank, and I missed this man more than I’d allowed myself to admit. But attraction—for that matter, even love—wasn’t the same as trust.

  I twisted my hair and pinned it up on my head with a clip. Today I’d be spending hours with Hank, and I needed to steel myself against this urge to give him another chance. My heart ached too much to let him in again.

  The pieces of my heart were being held together with Scotch tape, and one good shake would make all those pieces crumble again. My heart might not be repairable a second time.

  I slipped the chocolate bar out of my purse, thankful it hadn’t been soaked by pool water. Letting the rich cocoa melt on my tongue, I closed my eyes.

  The door creaked, but I didn’t open my eyes. Retreating to a place of calm required focus.

  “Watching you makes me want a taste.”

  So much for quiet.

  He still didn’t have a shirt on.

  I held out the chocolate bar. “Break off a piece. I’ll share.”

  “Not like that.” He rubbed his thumb on my lip.

  Throwing myself into his arms wouldn’t change what happened. It would only complicate everything.

  I brushed past him and put distance between us. “Thanks for getting breakfast and coffee.”

  Without turning around, he pulled on a shirt. “Anything to make you happy.”

  His back was just as fine as his chest, and if I didn’t stop looking, I’d start touching. Then I wouldn’t be ready for the wedding on time. And things would be complicated.

  The hardest part of resisting him was the secret I carried, the secret I was too embarrassed and too afraid to admit. He wasn’t my ex. Because I’d never turned in the divorce papers, the gorgeous man who’d shared my bed last night was my lawfully wedded husband.

  Maybe tonight we’d have a chance to tackle a long-overdue conversation. I needed to set the man free and explain why I hadn’t done it a year ago.

  Looking over my shoulder at the mirror, I contorted, trying to reach the zipper. No matter which way I turned, I couldn’t zip my dress.

  I opened the bathroom door. “Will you help me? I can’t get it zipped.”

  Hank stared, his smile widening every millisecond. “Wow. Yeah. Sure.” His inability to string two words together flattered me.

  “Just the zipper. No h—” I pinched my lips together and pulled my hair over my shoulder.

  His breath tickled my ear as he leaned in close. “You were going to say hanky-panky, weren’t you?”

  “Please just zip it up.” Thinking about the happy three months of our marriage and the silly things we used to say wasn’t what I needed right now.

  “Yes, ma’am.” His fingers brushed my bare back.

  I inhaled sharply, torn between remembering and wanting to forget.

  “You don’t have to suck in. It fits.”

  “Please just do it already.”

  I’d seen turtles cross the road faster than he moved that zipper up my back.

  “You look incredible, Nacha. Absolutely stunning.”

  I spun around and adjusted his bow tie. “You don’t look so bad yourself. That tux is…” It was hot, but I wasn’t going to say that. “You’ve been working out?”

  “Thanks for noticing.” He rested a hand on my hip. “Will you dance with me?”

  Picking at invisible dust on his jacket, I avoided his gaze. “Now?”

  “I meant later, but now is good too.” He reached into his pocket, then shook his head. “I’ll have to sing something. Our phones are still in rice.”

  I patted his chest and finally braved eye contact. “I’ll dance with you at the reception.”

  “Thank you. I asked here so you wouldn’t feel like you had to say yes.” He smiled and held out his arm. “You ready?”

  Wrapping my fingers around his bicep, I nodded.

  It was time to watch Haley and Zach say the words I’d never say again.

  Chapter 4

  Standing at the front, I inhaled as the music changed. Hopefully, my waterproof mascara would do its job. The wedding march began playing, and the doors at the back opened.

  Walking up the aisle on Hank’s arm, Haley beamed.

  Zach hadn’t taken a breath since she’d appeared in the doorway. I’d never seen his smile that wide.

  Hank stopped at the front and hugged Haley. That had me tearing up, but when Hank threw his arms around Zach, I nearly lost it.

  Stepping into position between Zach and Adam, Hank took his place as the best man, then wiped his eyes. Tears were uncommon for him, and seeing them in his eyes did funny things to my heart.

  I couldn’t spend the ent
ire wedding staring at Hank. I turned my focus to Haley and Zach.

  The ceremony didn’t drag out. That was one thing I loved about Haley. She wasn’t about the fluff. The ceremony was only as long as it needed to be.

  It seemed like only minutes before Zach was kissing his bride. Guests laughed when her feet left the floor.

  Then Eve quickly handed over the bouquet and straightened the train. As the minister presented Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher to the world, Eve nudged me toward her spot. “Switch with me. I’ll walk out with Adam.”

  I couldn’t blame her for wanting to walk down the aisle with her husband. But walking down the aisle with my ex wasn’t my first choice. “Sure.”

  Hank stepped to the middle and offered me his arm. When I clutched it, he laid his hand on mine. “My little sister is married.”

  I squeezed his arm, smiling up at him. “The ceremony was beautiful.” The shutter clicks reminded me that almost everything that happened today would be captured in photos.

  He led me to the room where the wedding party gathered to wait for picture time. It would be a few minutes until the guests made their way to the reception room. Then the photographer could take photos.

  He glanced around the room until his gaze landed on a tissue box. With a tissue in his fist, he wiped his eyes again. “I feel like a ninny. This isn’t what I expected.”

  I rubbed his back. “It’s sweet.”

  “Sweet? Fabulous. I think that’s equivalent to nice, isn’t it?” He quirked an eyebrow.

  With my lips near his ear, I whispered so only he’d hear me. “Sweet looks good on you, Hank.” Why was I flirting with him?

  My breath caught when I met his gaze. I’m not sure what I expected to see, but I wasn’t prepared for the heat and hope swirling in his brown eyes.

  “I should check my makeup before we do pictures.”

  “You look great.” He touched my arm. “Really.”

  “I need to—I’ll be back.” I made my way to the ladies’ room and stared in the mirror.

  For most of a year, I’d stayed away from him because around him, I turned to mush. Just a look lit me up. And when he touched me, I wanted to wrap my body around his.

  But that would only lead to more hurt. I couldn’t even figure out how to deal with the hurt I was already dragging around.

  When I walked back out after reminding myself that there’d be no second chances, I couldn’t have said what color my lipstick was. My mind was so wrapped up with thoughts of Hank, I hadn’t really seen anything in the mirror.

  At the reception, as the dance floor filled with couples, Hank stood and held out his hand. “Would you like to dance?”

  “Yes. That would be nice.” I didn’t want to change my mind now after saying yes this morning.

  We held hands as we walked toward the dance floor.

  He slipped an arm around me, and I slid my hand into his. He’d taken me dancing on our first date. It was one of his many talents. Following his lead, it was easy to lose myself in the music, letting his arms and the rhythm of the song carry me around the dance floor.

  With every song, the distance between us shrank.

  Hank nodded toward a guy on the other end of the dance floor. “What’s his name? I should know this.”

  “Everyone calls him Harper. I think that’s his last name. He’s a good friend of Adam’s.”

  Hank crinkled his nose, then laughed. “He’s the guy who went out with Haley.”

  “Yes, which makes me wonder why he was even invited to the wedding.”

  “That’s easy. Zach has a plan. Harper was invited to the party where Zach popped the question. This is just part two.”

  “Zach is gloating? That’s just silly.”

  Hank shrugged. “Harper seems like a nice guy. At least the few times we’ve met.”

  For a few minutes, we didn’t talk. It became harder to keep my distance. The longer our bodies moved in coordinated motion, the more I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder and feel his arm tighten around me.

  “Is business going well?”

  “It is. We’re almost completely booked for the next few months. And I had an author contact me about doing a shoot for cover photos.”

  “Romance novels with shirtless guys? I can model for you if that would help.”

  “Keep your shirt on. She writes about mermaids and cat shifters.”

  “Can’t help you with that.” He twirled me and pulled me close again.

  “Haley said the job in Montana didn’t work out.”

  His body tensed. “Right.”

  Why had I brought that up? He’d wanted that job so desperately. Why had he only stayed three months?

  “I bet the house will be quiet without Haley around.”

  He shrugged. “She was always at Zach’s anyway, but yeah. I’m making a few changes that I haven’t mentioned to her yet.”

  “Don’t you think you should tell her? She’s part owner of the house, right?”

  “Mom and Dad left it to both of us, but I’m adding value. She won’t care.” His grin begged me to ask what upgrades he’d planned.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Putting in a pool and hot tub.” He winked. “But I won’t make you swim.”

  “Make me?”

  He kissed my forehead. “I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

  The music slowed, and I gave into temptation and leaned my head on his chest.

  “Have you dated?” Why was he asking me that? And now?

  I shook my head.

  He let go of my hand and lifted my chin with one finger. “I know we need to talk. But know this, I won’t even think of dating until you tell me it’s over. Not some papers that need to be signed. I want to hear the words out of your mouth.”

  We’d hardly spent time in the same room in over a year. And our goodbye was when he left for that stupid job. After having him served with divorce papers, I’d ignored all his calls. But here he was telling me there wasn’t anyone else . . . and wouldn’t be until I called an end to things.

  This man made me feel alive.

  I wasn’t ready to tell him it was over.

  In fact, my mouth had other ideas. Ignoring all determination that there would be no second chances, my body cheered as I inched up and pressed my lips to his.

  His arms wrapped around me, and couples danced past us as we kissed.

  Memories of our past fueled my hunger for him. He deepened the kiss and moved us off the dance floor.

  I pulled away, scared I was making a mistake. Would my tape hold? Could a heart heal?

  “As much as I want to continue that—in our room—leaving now would be in bad taste. Looks like she’s getting ready to toss the bouquet.” Hank trailed his fingers down my bare back as we walked toward our table.

  Too antsy to sit, I stood, watching.

  His arms circled my waist. “Aren’t you glad you don’t have to be out there?”

  “More than you know.” Even before I knew Hank, I hated this part of the wedding.

  I was never one that believed in tingling when people touched, but when he dropped kisses on my neck, every inch of my body felt electrified.

  He brushed his clean-shaven cheek against mine. “I wasn’t sure what to expect from today—besides them getting married, obviously—but this is more than I could’ve ever hoped. And I’m not assuming this changes everything, but I’ve spent a year hoping you’d give me another chance.”

  “We’ll need to take it slow. I know I didn’t really make that clear minutes ago.”

  He chuckled. “I didn’t mind at all. And I can do slow.” His lips brushed my ear. “Like molasses.”

  Heat spread over my skin. If he kept talking like that, I’d turn as red as my dress.

  He stood with his arms around me while other people caught the bouquet and garter.

  I titled my head up. “What time are they headed out?”

  “Later. They just didn’t want t
he guests to feel like they had to stay for hours.”

  “Is Haley going to play Cornhole in her wedding dress?”

  “Maybe. That’d be funny.” He scanned the room as several guests said their goodbyes to Zach and Haley.

  I patted Hank’s chest. “I’m going to visit the ladies’ room. Be right back.”

  He handed me the keycard. “In case you need it. Some of the doors around here need room keys to open them.” He kissed me before I stepped away, and every movement of his lips said to hurry back.

  I slipped out a side door. Just before I reached the powder room, Aunt Joji’s voice caught my attention. I stopped near the corner and listened as she talked to the guy at the front desk.

  “Thank you all for everything. I’m going to settle the bill now. But I have that one cabin for tomorrow night also.”

  “For tonight, do you need all the other rooms?”

  “No, I just needed y’all to be full last night. One night did the trick.” Her laugh echoed in the lobby.

  I turned around and walked out the door on the far end of the building. Following the pebbled path, I made my way to my cabin. If I hurried, I could be packed and gone before Hank even realized I was missing.

  He’d tricked me.

  Who else besides Aunt Joji was in on it?

  All the passion from moments ago morphed into fury. I pressed the key card to the little box, glad Hank had given me the key.

  I shoved clothes and makeup into my suitcase. But when I picked up the engraved silver bowl Haley had given me, I stopped. Leaving now would be selfish. How would that look?

  Rude.

  That’s how it would look.

  Hoping Zach and Haley would decide they needed to leave soon, I set my luggage near the door and walked back to the reception.

  The next few hours would be awkward.

  Chapter 5

  As soon as Haley and Zach drove away, I made my way across the reception room toward Aunt Joji. A very quiet Hank followed me.

  “Aunt Joji, thank you so much for everything. The wedding was beautiful.” I gave her a polite hug, resisting the temptation to shake her.