Two Words I'd Never Say Again

by Remi Carrington

  Aunt Joji patted my cheek. “You’re so welcome. I do hope the two of you enjoy the cabin tonight and tomorrow night.”

  I smiled instead of answering.

  As I walked to the cabin, Hank remained my silent shadow.

  He held the key card to the little black box, then pushed open the door. When his gaze landed on my suitcase, his brow furrowed. “What’s going on? One minute you’re kissing me, then after a trip to the ladies’ room, you will hardly look at me. When did you come back in here to pack?”

  I inhaled, refusing to cry. “Why don’t you go find Aunt Joji and drink to your great success? The trick worked. Shove them into the same room, and Nacha will change her mind and forgive everything.”

  He threw his hands in the air. “What are you talking about?”

  “Aunt Joji rented all the vacant rooms so that there wouldn’t be any left. That’s why we had to stay in here together. How could you?” Tears stung my eyes. I wouldn’t be able to keep my emotions in check for long.

  He stepped in front of the door and leaned his face close to mine. “I didn’t know, Nacha. I would never do that to you.”

  “Really? You didn’t plan for us to share a big comfy bed and end up on the same side?”

  “What happened on that dance floor was real and genuine. For me and for you. I know you, Nacha.” He clenched his jaw. “Please don’t do this to me again.”

  “Do this to you? How heartless of me.” I picked up my suitcase. “Move.”

  “What should I tell Aunt Joji about the second honeymoon?”

  “I don’t care. Tell her whatever you want. Get the tickets and take someone else.”

  Fire burned in his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do, Hank. It’s over.” Saying the words out loud felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my heart.

  He shifted out of the way without looking up.

  If there were tears, I didn’t want to see them.

  By the time I’d wrestled my suitcase into the car, unstoppable tears streamed down my cheeks. I climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine. The drive home was only forty-five minutes. I just needed to hold it together a little while longer.

  I backed out of the parking space and made the mistake of glancing toward the cabin. Hank stood on the porch, his bow tie hanging loose and his hands shoved in his pockets.

  If he hadn’t planned the grand deceit, who did? It hurt to think Haley had been in on it. But how else did Aunt Joji know?

  Kicking up gravel, I tore out of that parking lot. The faster I could put distance between me and that man, the faster my life could move onto the next chapter.

  Inconveniently, my mind jumped to what I’d said. Take someone else. Thinking about him going on vacation with another woman made me want to hurl. There was nothing ladylike about that image, and I laughed. If anyone had seen me cackling while I sobbed, they’d swear I’d lost it.

  Once I hit the highway, I pressed down hard on the gas pedal.

  Had I really told him it was over? Did I believe that? Moments ago, I did. But now? I pounded on the steering wheel and turned up the radio. Sobbing, I swiped at my eyes as I barreled down the road.

  Twenty minutes down the road, red and blue lights flashed behind me. I pulled off to the shoulder and wiped my eyes. In the side mirror, I watched the deputy walk toward my window.

  I breathed in deep as I rolled down the window.

  “Evening. I’m Deputy Gallagher.” He blinked several times. “Hi, Nacha, right?”

  “Yes, hi, Eli.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

  Because the universe hates me? I swallowed, hoping my voice wouldn’t sound broken and scratchy. “I’m not sure. Was I speeding?”

  “Yes, you were exceeding the speed limit. Could I see your license and insurance, please?”

  “Yes.” Why wouldn’t the tears quit falling? I reached into my purse and dug around until I found what I needed.

  It didn’t help that he eyed me the entire time.

  “Does Hank know where you are?”

  Smiling, I shook my head. “Probably not.”

  “Are you okay?” He clearly wasn’t fooled by the smile on the woman with mascara streaked down her face.

  “I’m fine. I just didn’t realize I was driving too fast.”

  His brow pinched. “Should I call—”

  Why did I have to get pulled over in the county where Zach and Hank both worked? And by Zach’s cousin?

  Maybe I could distract him from talking about calling Hank. “I was just on my way home from Haley’s wedding.”

  “Did it go okay? Did something bad happen?”

  “The wedding was beautiful. They left just a bit ago for the honeymoon.” Was it really so strange for someone to be sobbing after a wedding?

  He grinned. “I couldn’t make it since I was working. I hope they’re really happy.”

  “Me too.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to—”

  “I’m Hank’s ex.” The words tasted bitter. Why had I said that?

  He hadn’t mentioned Hank, but like a fool, I brought it up.

  I wiped at another tear.

  Eli ran his fingers through his hair, clearly unsure about what to do. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive? Maybe you should call someone.”

  “I’ll slow down.”

  He handed back my ID and insurance paper. “I’m letting you off with a warning this evening. Please be careful and do slow down.”

  “I will. Thank you, Eli.” My choked-out words probably didn’t help convince him I was okay, but it was the best I could do.

  I made sure not to slam down the accelerator when I pulled away. The last thing I needed to do was spray the poor deputy with gravel. As it was, he’d probably tell all the guys about Hank’s crazy ex in the bridesmaid dress, who looked like she was ready for a Halloween party.

  I’d just avoid booking photography shoots in this county. Haley could cover anything that needed to be done around here. If I didn’t come into this county, I’d never see these guys again. Probably. Unless Haley invited Zach’s cousin to a party or something. But I’d just have to cross that bridge when I came to it.

  Keeping my speed just under the limit, I drove home. As I passed the San Antonio city limit sign, a horrible thought registered. My phone was still buried in rice back at the cabin.

  I had to figure out how to get my phone back.

  When I made it to the house, I hauled my suitcase inside. But before unpacking, I slipped off my dress, then padded into the kitchen to get the coconut oil. Why was it so difficult to get off a stick-on bra?

  Finally, after a bit of trouble getting it unstuck, I pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of cotton shorts. I emptied my suitcase, dropping dirty clothes in the hamper and putting clean clothes where they belonged. When I picked up Hank’s shirt, the sobs started again. I tossed it in the hamper.

  Where was my bra? I’d taken it off because it didn’t work with the dress, and I’d—Crap. My favorite bra was hanging on the doorknob in the bathroom at the cabin.

  Would Hank even notice? And if he did, would he give it back? It wasn’t like he needed it.

  And my yellow dress was still out on the patio where he’d hung it to dry. It was embarrassing how much of my clothing had been left behind.

  I unwrapped a chocolate bar. I might need all twelve to get me through the evening.

  After everything I’d said would it be weird to call him? I didn’t see that going well.

  But if I wanted my phone, my dress, and bra, I had no choice.

  At half past seven, it was too early to crawl in bed. I didn’t want to be home by myself because I’d only sit and stew. Now more than ever, everything reminded me of Hank. We’d signed on this house a week before the wedding.

  When I sent over divorce papers, he’d scribbled a note at the bottom apologizing and telling me I could have the house and anyt
hing else I wanted.

  I grabbed my keys, pulled on shoes, and ran to the car. It wasn’t exactly shorts weather, but changing would take too much time.

  Ten minutes later, I walked into my mama’s kitchen. I knew I’d find her here in this room, which is exactly why I came. Mama’s kitchen offered a comfort only rivaled by . . .

  The memory of Hank’s arm wrapped around me popped in my head, and I worked to dismiss the thought. Right now, that was the opposite of comforting.

  “Hi. I wasn’t sure if you’d be home.”

  “Of course I’m home. It’s Saturday night. Where else would I be?” She wiped her hands on her apron.

  “Mind if I stay for a little while?”

  “Mijita, you don’t have to ask. Have a snack.” She shuffled across the kitchen in her favorite blue slippers.

  “Thanks, Mama. What are you making?”

  “Buñuelos.”

  “My favorite.”

  She turned around as I sat down. “Nacha, what’s wrong?”

  “I’m okay.” The tears had finally stopped, and I felt better than I had in hours.

  Mama grabbed a rag and wet it in the sink. “Your face has makeup streaked all over it. What made you cry?” She wiped at my face like I was five.

  “I saw Hank at the wedding.”

  She backed up and shook her head. “I don’t understand you, Nacha. It isn’t like the man cheated on you or hit you. You’re being stubborn.” She shuffled back to the stove, then returned with a plate of buñuelos in one hand and a shaker of cinnamon sugar in the other. “Eat. I’ll make more.”

  Her dismissal hurt. She was right that Hank wouldn’t cheat, and the man would die before ever raising a hand to me. But he’d hurt me. And I didn’t know how to deal with the pain.

  “I thought you of all people would understand. He left me. Just like Papá left us.”

  Mama spun around, and a fire burned in her eyes. “Don’t call him that. His name was Eric.”

  “Okay.” I was shocked at her sharp response. “I just—he signed my birthday cards that way, so I—” I hadn’t even taken a bite, and I was losing my appetite.

  “I signed your cards that way. I sent them.” She waved a hand, then turned back to the stove.

  More of me crumbled.

  “He didn’t even send me cards?” I felt abandoned all over again. “Why did he leave?”

  “Because your uncles threatened to do him bodily harm if he showed up at the house again. Ever.”

  “Mama! That’s crazy. Why haven’t you ever told me this?”

  “Is that why you are mad at Hank? Because a man you hardly knew left when you were too young to remember? Hank is nothing like him.”

  “Didn’t it hurt you that he left?”

  She waved her tongs. “What hurt was when he hit me. Know why he hit me? Because I told him I wouldn’t tolerate cheating.” She rubbed her cheek. “Once my brothers saw my bruise, they had words with him. Eric packed a bag and left the next day. It never happened again.”

  “How did you learn to trust after he left?” I desperately needed the answer to that question.

  “Don’t blame Hank for your father’s sins.” Mama dropped into a chair. “There were a few hard years. You were so little, and I prayed you wouldn’t remember. Then I met Jeffrey, and there was a point when I had to trust him or lose him. And I didn’t want to lose him.”

  Cinnamon fell to the table as I bit into my buñuelo. “He was a good husband.”

  “Very good. I miss him so much.” She walked back to the stove, then turned to face me. “Don’t let your pride get in the way.”

  “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

  “Nonsense. I can choose whatever side I want.” She sprinkled cinnamon sugar on the flaky treats she’d just pulled out of the oil. “Besides, I like Hank. He mows my grass each week.”

  “He what?”

  “You should see a doctor and get your ears checked.” She snickered.

  “He comes here every week?”

  “And I make him his favorite foods.” She waggled a finger in my face. “Don’t mess up my good deal.”

  I ate my way through three buñuelos before Mama swatted my hand. “Take some home. You’ll be sick if you eat too many.”

  “When is he coming again?”

  “It depends on his work schedule. Probably Friday.”

  I wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

  Mama hugged me. “I hope he doesn’t find anyone else. She might not like him helping his ex-mother-in-law. That would be unfortunate.”

  Now wasn’t the time to admit what I’d said to Hank. But now, just maybe, I had a plan for getting my phone back and maybe my bra. Hank probably didn’t even remember the clothes on the patio.

  Chapter 6

  Sunday, I emailed the model for my photo shoot, hoping Cami would check her email before assuming I’d flaked on her. We’d planned to meet up in the afternoon, but I always texted or called on the day of. That wasn’t happening today.

  As I looked over my pile of camera gear, someone knocked. I pulled the door open. “You got my message?”

  Cami held up my bra. “Why is this hanging off your doorknob? And it has a note attached.”

  I snatched the bra out of her hand. “Is there a phone out here?”

  “I don’t see one. I thought the email said you’d lost your phone.” She crossed her arms. “There’s got to be a good story behind this. I want to hear it.”

  Who else was I going to tell? Mama was on Hank’s side, and Haley had helped make a fool of me. “Come on in.”

  Cami followed me inside and surveyed the house from the entryway. “This place is really nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  “What does the note say?” She cocked her head and pressed her hands together. “Please. You know my love life is a royal mess. My boss dumped me, and now I get to watch him flirt with his new assistant. I swear she’s not even legally allowed to drink.”

  Being around Cami always made me laugh. “Hearing about my love life just might make you feel better. My ex left this outside for all the world to see. But he didn’t bother leaving my phone, which I need.” I unfolded the note and read it out loud.

  Your mom has your phone. There was no way I was giving her your bra. And just like you did with the house, keep my t-shirt.

  Cami’s jaw dropped. “Wow. You do have it worse. Did you . . . did he . . . you know—how did he get your bra?”

  I told her the whole sordid story.

  She pressed a hand to her chest. “It’s like the beginning of a Hallmark movie, but wait—he didn’t cheat on you, did he?”

  Why did that keep coming up?

  “No, he didn’t. He’s not a cheater. But it’s not like one of those sweet romance movies. It’s like one of those late-night heartbreak movies. I told him it was over. That’s why he hung my bra on my door for the whole neighborhood to see.”

  “Who cares what your neighbors think?”

  “I live here. Don’t you care what your coworkers think now that you and the boss aren’t dating anymore?”

  She shrugged. “I spend too much time convincing myself not to strangle him to care what other people think. If I can make enough from modeling gigs, I’ll quit that job.”

  “Today’s shoot is easy-peasy. No funny costumes. Just a woman standing in a field of flowers.” I set the note on the mantle. “You ready?”

  “What’s he like?”

  “Who?” I loaded the gear into my backseat.

  She buckled into the passenger seat. “Your ex. I need to find a new type. Dating the corporate types hasn’t worked out for me.”

  “So now you’re thinking about dating my ex?” I amped up the sarcasm, my stomach twisting at the thought.

  “What? No! That’s not what I meant. I just—what does he do?”

  “He’s a paramedic.”

  “Maybe I should think about it. I’ve never met one that wasn’t totally swoon-worthy.
And you said he wasn’t a cheater. I’ve dated too many of those.”

  I stared at her, then slammed on the brakes when I realized the light was turning red. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

  “Yes, I’m joking. But gosh, if you don’t want him, why do you care?” Cami grinned. “Ignore that question. I’d rather not be murdered today.”

  “I don’t care.”

  She giggled. “My mom showed me this old movie called The Princess Bride. Have you ever seen it?”

  “I’ve seen it.”

  “Anyway, when you said you didn’t care, I thought of that scene with the old woman.” Cami messed up her hair and pointed at me. “Liar!”

  “You can stop. I’ve seen the movie.” Despite my irritation, I laughed. “You’re crazy. You know that?”

  “And apparently that isn’t enough to snag a guy. What’s the world coming to?”

  “I don’t know what to tell you about that.” I checked my rearview mirror as I pulled into my favorite photography spot in Schatz County. When I promised myself I wouldn’t come back here, I’d forgotten about this photo shoot.

  “Did Haley ever convince that deputy who kept showing up that y’all had permission to be out here?”

  “She married him.”

  “That’s a bit extreme. Is he hot?”

  I smacked her arm. “Is that all you ever think about?”

  “No, but it’s important to me. I don’t want to be alone forever.” She climbed out of the car and crossed her arms. “I should’ve grabbed a jacket.”

  I imagined the words stamped on my head. Alone forever. “We won’t be out here long.”

  “You think a different deputy will come out today?” She glanced back toward the gate. “I’m thinking maybe I need a hero type.”

  “Move to your left.” I clicked the shutter, catching the cute, dreamy look on her face. “Looks like you’ll get your wish.” After a few more shots, I turned around and smiled.

  A marked deputy’s vehicle stopped next to my car. The door opened, and Eli slid out. “We meet again.”

  Cami ran up behind me. “Who is that? Is he available? Because he is so hot.”

  “You know the guy Haley married? This is his cousin.” I stepped forward to greet Eli. “Hello again. We have permission to be out here.”