CIRCO

by Tara Ellis

She hadn’t seen her big sister in weeks. Food at this point truly became her best friend. Little Debbie, Dr Pepper, Pappa John, Mr. Chang, Ben and Jerry were her circle of associates. She ate and ate passed the point of fullness; she ate till her heart wouldn’t hurt. Her body was taking in food to fill that pit of loneliness inside her. She didn’t notice becoming rounder and softer all over. Brenda’s cheeks were even fuller than before.

  Ever since the incident within the Medina household the family had become even more divided. There were parties living inside the clock tower. First party consisted of Mommy and Daddy. Second party had Julio, Brenda and Michael. And the last party was Jorge, a party of one.

  Mommy at one point tried everything inside her being to stop drinking. She sought out counseling and therapy. But living with a dysfunctional family drove her to drink even more. She had liquor in her system every time she was around the kids. Mommy was using the liquor to suppress the weight of depression.

  Daddy refused to let his family fall apart though. The pressure was on him. He was revamping his parenting skills to suit what a normal happy father would portray. Daddy knew he hadn’t been a good father, he figured he had probably never been one. Mr. Medina, whether he realized it or not, imitated the likeness of Bill Cosby on the Cosby Show. Maybe it was how he learned to interact with a family, since his parents stuck him in front of the TV when he was small.

  With his revitalized parenting he was also picking up the slack of his wife’s lack of energy.

  Julio stayed out of that house as long as he could for that summer. He basically lived outside by day but slept at the clock tower pass the darkening of night. When he would return home tired he saved a little bit of strength to bear hug Brenda and little Michael. They would all go upstairs to his room and they all shared one bed.

  Jorge barely left his room at all. But he did get what he wanted out of life, to become internet famous. After he posted the kitchen fight his family had on YouTube within three weeks the video gained seven million views. He posted up several video blogs after to keep web traffic flowing. His dream came true at the cost of his family.

  It was one thirty in the morning and Julio was returning home. He made his way through the door as discreetly as possible. He was tip toeing through the living room when he heard his mother laughing at the television. The sofa was facing away from him and he could see his mother enjoying a late rerun of Two and a Half Men with a side of scotch. Charlie Sheen was up to his antics again which caused Mommy to laugh. Julio shook his head. To him, her laugh was like a witches cackle.

  He got upstairs as silently as he could. He passed his parents’ bedroom which was closed shut. He figured Daddy sleeps alone now. Every morning he would find Mommy passed out on the couch.

  He continued through the hallway, Jorge’s door was cracked open and he could see him typing away on his laptop.

  When he got to his room he slowly turned the knob, gave it a slight shove and gently closed it back. Brenda and Michael looked very comfortable slumbering in Julio’s bed. Brenda started to sleep with him ever since being plagued by nightmares. They started a few days after Vanessa had left. At his young age, Michael hated to be left out on anything, he slept with them as well, even though his bed was literally six yards away.

  Julio climbed in bed as soft as possible, still wearing his outside clothes. Maybe it was his presence alone that awoken his baby sister that night. “I missed you,” she said. She then cuddled into him. Julio smiled.

  “What do you mean, you see me every night,” he said.

  “But not in the day.”

  “I’m sorry. You and Michael get to hang out with me all day tomorrow. I promise.”

  “Julio can I ask you a serious question?”

  “What is it?”

  “Can our family go back?”

  “Do you want to hear something nice, or can I give you the truth?”

  “Can it be both?”

  “Our family was never really functional. We might have functioned around each other maybe. Things have gotten worse for the Medina’s, but it has brought me, you and Michael closer together. As long as we can stay strong nothing bad will split us apart, I swear my life on it.”

  Brenda started to whimper softly on her Julio’s stomach. “I’m not strong,” she said.

  “Well then I have no choice but to stay strong for us three then. I will carry you as long as I need to. I’m turning eighteen this year. I’m getting my own apartment. You and Michael are coming with me.”

  Little Michael tossed over in his bed looking at his big brother through his sleepy eyes. He asked “Are you going to be our dad now Julio?”

  That question struck him in the pit of his stomach. He, honest to god, didn’t know how to respond. So he gave the answer he felt they wanted to hear. “Yeah.”

  Later on in the morning, at the start of sunrise, Julio snuck Brenda and Michael out the house. They didn’t use a car because Daddy wouldn’t like them being out all day with it. So they walked. They first went to a vegetarian restaurant called ‘Wah hoo’ for breakfast. He thought about taking them to McDonalds, it was closer. But he saw that his sister was growing towards an unhealthy lifestyle and figured he should nip that in the bud.

  After they finished their meals Julio took them to a park where they could burn off some steam. He was with them engaging the laughing and playing. He knew it was a good thing.

  It was ten am; Jorge was already awake. When he had first gotten out of slumber he didn’t even move. He just stayed in bed as if the day had nothing to offer him.

  When his stomach wondered where its breakfast was, he finally got up and gave it some Cocoa Pebbles. When it was satisfied he sat straight back on his bed. He grabbed his laptop reading through comments he gotten for his YouTube videos and blog posts for the morning. After that was done he figured there was nothing more productive to do with his time. With not having a social life he also wasn’t the outdoorsy type.

  He turned his laptop to a website that shared free pornography videos. He found a video he liked with two lesbian blonds. “Well I guess you ladies will do,” he said. He then reached for his bottle of lotion.

  It was one pm Julio along with his siblings took a bus ride out to Toys R us. He told them that they can both get whatever they want as long as it was fewer than fifty bucks each. They searched all throughout the store looking for toys they would like. They filled up a cart with Barbie dolls, Transformers, trading cards, and candy. Just about when Julio was growing impatient with the shopping spree Michael had pointed out The El Circo de Fantasias toy collection. All the characters were there in their individual cases with the see through plastic. Julio saw a whole array of characters but only recognized the main ones. There was Artemis The Ringmaster, Scarlet The Human Torch, Andre The Juggler, Britney The Beauty and Joyce The High Flyer. He even recognized Solomon and Maggie. Every other action figure was new to him.

  “Oh that’s right, I forgot you really like this stuff don’t you?” asked Julio. Michael nodded his head. He took a figurine off the rack modeled after a character named Mimi The Jester. “I like Mimi,” he said.

  “I never heard of her before.”

  “She’s one of the side characters I think,” added Brenda.

  Julio eyeballed the boxed figurine in his little brother’s hand. He then told them he was tired of toy shopping and they should make their purchases.

 

  Mommy and Daddy called and called her cell phone but they never once got an answer. So they had come to their wits end and the last of their options. It was the middle of the afternoon; Mommy and Daddy were visiting the Detroit Police Department trying to report a missing person. They had tried to report Vanessa’s disappearance the first few days when discovering she had left the motel. The police informed them to wait a week before filing because most children show up within that time. <
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  Officer Whitlow, who had unusually thin eyebrows for a man, sat across his desk from two Hispanics he really didn’t care to hear from. Mommy and Daddy’s agitation started to surface as the man with the Protect and Serve badge couldn’t have less interest. The officer sat in his chair leaning back; he was too relaxed as two parents were trying to get assistance.

  “So how long has your daughter been missing, again?” asked the officer.

  “It’s been about a month and a half,” said Daddy.

  “Do you think she ran away or was she possibly kidnapped?”

  “When we got to the motel we discovered her stuff wasn’t there.”

  “Motel?”

  “Yes you heard correct.”

  “Why was she staying in a motel?”

  That’s when Mommy jumped in the conversation. “She was having some behavioral issues and we decided it was best if she spent some time at the Knight’s Inn.”

  “Behavioral issues?” questioned Whitlow. “What was going on at home?”

  “It just wasn’t working out,” said Mommy.

  “Mrs. Medina you’re going to have to be a lot more detailed than that. What was your daughter like?”

  “She was very angry all the time. She argued a lot. She was antisocial, she didn’t have any friends. She never obeyed me. She always disrespected me. Even when I would show her affection she would still be cold towards me. She never liked for me to touch her at all. She would block me away as I would try to hug her.

  “Mrs. Medina I asked for a description not a rant.” That flicked Mommy’s anger switch. But she wasn’t stupid enough to show it. “You told me that you brought pictures?” They had some pictures, they laid it out for him and he looked displeased. “Is this the best you got?”

  Daddy scratched the back of his neck out of his embarrassment. “This is the best we could find Officer,” said Daddy.

  “No recent school pictures?”

  “They seemed to be misplaced; it’s possible our daughter took those with her.”

  “Do you have like regular pictures of her?”

  “We don’t really have a lot of pictures of any of our five children. It something… that we didn’t have a lot of time for unfortunately.”

  Whitlow raised his eyebrows out of suspicion, but it seemed like they were just drawn higher on his head.

  “How long was your daughter alone in that hotel for?”

  “About a week I would say,” said Daddy.

  The officer sat upright in his chair, his tone went from relaxed to serious. “Leaving a minor alone in a motel for a week is what I consider child neglect, which is a form of child abuse punishable by law.”

  Mommy’s fists tightened on the sides of her lap. She said while trying to withhold from shouting “We needed to get rid of her.” The cop’s eyes popped. “She had to go… My own daughter physically attacked me in our kitchen. It was for my wellbeing to be separated from her.”

  The cop leaned back again into his chair. “Tell me about the events that lead to the separation.”

 

  Early in the evening Julio had taken his little siblings to go see whatever movie they wanted. They were driven there by a friend of Julio’s called Rodrigo. During the ride Rodrigo presented himself to the kids as very kind and well. Brenda kept cordial with him but that didn’t stop her from disliking the new person. Michael was indifferent to everyone at the time only being interested in his Mimi The Jester action figure.

  Brenda didn’t like how Rodrigo was able to steal away Julio’s attention. This was her day to spend with her brothers; it was disturbing how this outsider was sharing jokes and laughs with Julio. Right then she decided she didn’t like Rodrigo.

  It disturbed her how much Julio and Rodrigo were alike. They had the same hair style, same brand of clothing, even their facial features resembled. One thing that they differed in was height. Rodrigo was taller, he stood around six four. Her brother was about five eight.

  Michael and Rodrigo waited in line for snacks while Brenda and Julio looked for seats. Julio was going to use this time to see how close he truly was with his sister. They sat down four rows away from the screen. The trailers were still playing.

  “Hey Brenda,” started Julio. “You love me no matter what right?”

  “Yeah,” she said with a quizzical expression.

  “Well I have something very important to tell you, um, um.” From then on he started shaking and his speech was fractured. This was until Brenda just went out with it.

  “Are you trying to tell me you’re gay?” she asked. “Because we all know. Mommy, Daddy Jorge and Vanessa. The only one that doesn’t know is Michael.” She saw her brother become more relaxed as she spoke. “I was waiting for you to come out. Mom was thinking to ask you about it, but I’m glad you came to me first.”

  Julio faced the movie screen. “Thanks for making that easy for me.”

  Deep breath, slow exhale.

  “Well I’m glad that’s finally out the way.”

  “Julio, I love you.”

  He took her into his arms. “I love you too.”

  When the movie was playing, during its climactic moment there was a jump scare that made Brenda reach for Julio’s hand. When he didn’t reach for her, she glanced over his lap seeing that both of his hands took in one of Rodrigo’s.

  Later into the night when it was passed Brenda and Michael’s bed time. Rodrigo’s car was in the parking lot of the clock tower. Brenda had begged Julio not to leave them alone with the rest of the family. So he went along with them as well, but before he did Julio kissed Rodrigo good night.

 

  Brenda and Michael lugged in their toys through the apartment door and Julio shut it behind them. Making their way through the living room, Mommy glanced over her shoulder at them, she didn’t say anything, she just gave an expressive look. Julio was this close to saying something to her, this close. But he swallowed that hate. He told himself that he was having a great day and nothing should interrupt that. He held his tongue, for now.

  “Oh Hi Julio!” said Daddy in an over the top joyful voice. “Where you coming from? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Daddy came from the kitchen to greet his son. Julio didn’t show any restraint of affection for his father. When Daddy hugged him he welcomed it.

  For Michael, his father had become some sort of stranger. It scared him a little thinking that someone else stole his Father’s skin, and now trying to live as him in their home.

  It was clear to Brenda that her father was overcompensating for the tension in the house. She tried to talk with her father about what was going on. But she thought he was strange for not acknowledging the state of the family. Her father was in denial; Brenda was just too young to understand that concept. So she and Michael avoided him like Superman does Kryptonite.

  “Hey gang, join the rest of the family, were all watching El Circo de Fantasias,” said Daddy.

  “Um, we’re kinda tired,” said Julio. Then his father shot at him a look that was pitiful. Julio saw the glistening hurt in Daddy’s eyes. And at that Julio said “Um, sure,” and no more words.

  The trio sat down in the living room. Julio shook his head as Mommy put a whole bottle of brandy to her lips. “So much for this night being optimistic” he thought. He faced the television seeing Artemis and many talented artists parading through the streets of Atlanta, Georgia.

  There were women in tights dancing in unison. An army of Elephants were walking trunk on tail in single file. There were huge floats; each having the main characters from the circus on one. Each float would in some way correlate with the characters likeness. Like Scarlett’s float had dazzling red and orange streamers on the side representing flame. The crowd saw her standing in an enlarged version of her chalice on the middle of the float
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  “Scarlett’s my favorite,” said Brenda.

  “She’s the only one I like,” responded Mommy, right before sipping her bottle.

  “That gymnastics girl is pretty cute,” said Jorge.

  “You like black girls Jorge?” asked Mommy. His eyes shuffled over to her then back to the television. Daddy put an over exaggerated smile on his face, as if in his own little world everything was fine. “Okay. But take this as a warning, my son.” She hiccupped. “Black women are the hardest women to deal with on this planet, when it comes to a relationship. And they’re known to date a man for his money.” She then swigged of her bottle. The room became quite after Mommy’s little display of racism.

  Julio told himself not to say anything, by him responding it will only make things worse. He just wished Michael’s ears didn’t hear that.

  “Please don’t take me as racist, I’m not. But I have worked with black women. They’re loud, obnoxious, always complaining about their boyfriends.” The bottle went to her lips once more. “And they come with some of the most craziest names.” She giggled. “They’re just hard to deal with all over. I’m just telling you all because I love my boys. And I want them to be with the best women.”

  “Don’t worry mom,” said Julio. He then faced his mother. “I’m not into black girls. But I like black men though.”

 

  The Girl