Lake Redstone

by Hollyfield, J. D.

  “You know I love you, right?”

  I smile, raising my hand, but this time, gently pat Jerry on the shoulder. “I know you do.”

  “It’ll all work out. Okay? But you really need to get your hitting under control.”

  My brows scrunch together. “Come on, my hitting is not that bad—”

  “Uh oh, she knows, doesn’t she?”

  We twist in our chairs to the rest of the group returning, Poppy holding a tray of shots.

  “Are you mad?” June asks, taking the seat next to me.

  I face her, offering an honest smile. “No, June-Bug, I’m not mad. More so jealous you all get to hang out with him. I’m the one who messed up. I just hope he realizes how lucky he is, because I have some pretty awesome friends.” June moves closer, and we hug it out. I feel Poppy’s arms go around me, and Katie squeezes in as well.

  The lights start to flicker, and the already low-lit room becomes dimmer as the band begins to walk on stage. I give my back to the stage and grab a shot from the tray. Once all are spoken for, all seven hands stretch forward and meet in the middle for a toast.

  “I think it’s only fair I make the toast since I’m the one who brought us all here tonight,” Jerry says, raising his shot.

  I stretch my hand to meet in the middle. “Here’s to those who’ve seen us at our best and our worst and can’t tell the difference. To those absent and those new, may the roof above us never fall and may we as friends never fall out. Here’s to you and here’s to me, the best friends we’ll ever be. And if we ever disagree, well, fuck you and here’s to me.”

  In unison, we all belt out a hearty laugh and clink, tilting my head and throwing back my shot as the band begins.

  “Evening, folks. We’re Limited Infinity.” The shot goes down, and right back up. I choke on tequila as it burns up my throat. The familiar, smoky tone wakes my entire body. Everyone has their eyes on me. Watching me. Taking in the tenseness as my hand trembles, shaking the shot glass gripped in my palm.

  That voice. The way it felt humming down my sensitive skin with each press of his full lips. I close my eyes and disappear into the shadows of my self-doubt. Did he know I was going to be here? Will he burn with anger at the sight of me? Be happy I’m here? I open my eyes to Katie, who’s shaking her head at me.

  “You’re being a pussy,” she whispers, nodding for me to face the music. Literally. She’s right. What in the heck am I doing? Grow a pair! Turn around!

  I don’t put any more thought into it. I steady my feet and rotate my body so I face the stage. The feeling of being knocked off my feet kind of freakin’ hurts. The moment our eyes lock, that buzz between us threatens to toss me on my butt. His smile guts me, and when he laughs at my obvious unease, I sway on my already tottering feet.

  God, his enigmatic laughter. Remembering the way his chest vibrated against mine when he laughed. I don’t know what else to do but stare back at him, wishing he could see the guilt in my eyes. His hair is dark, wild, and thrown around. He’s dressed in a dark pair of worn jeans, sexy boots, and a band t-shirt. Oh God Bless, we’re wearing the same shirt.

  “Before we get started, I wanted to play a new song for ya’ll. Something I’ve been working on the last three weeks. It’s still raw, just like my heart, so bear with me. I wrote it for a girl. You see, this girl was like no one I’ve ever met. She was really violent, actually.”

  Laughter surrounds our table. My mouth is so dry. I part my lips, but I can’t seem to find the moisture to lick them.

  “We met under unusual circumstances. Two strangers colliding in an unexpected way that turned my world upside down. Her laughter stabbed at my heart, cracking it open. Her beauty starved me of each breath. Her gentle embraces and the feisty hold she had on me sparked a fire that enveloped every part of me.” He pauses a moment to play a few chords, sending an angelic tune into the crowd. “You see…this girl? The first moment I locked eyes on her, I couldn’t stop myself. I may have stolen our first kiss the first time we met, but she’s the bigger thief here, because she stole my heart.”

  “Now, I’m gonna take a chance and bring that girl on this stage and show her just how crazy I am about her.” He lets go of the mic, and with his guitar still strapped over his shoulder, he jumps off the stage, heading in my direction.

  Oh, son of a monkey. My heart palpitates out of my chest as he ambles toward me in slow strides. His black boots smack against the ground, his steely hazel eyes capturing mine, burning with intention. His fingers don’t miss a beat as they strum along his guitar, the rhythmic melody playing flawlessly throughout the bar. My skin starts to tingle, and heat flushes my cheeks. All my fears and wishes crash into a beautiful cacophony of excitement.

  Each quick breath I inhale is harder and harder as the separation between us shrinks. Loud sounds of bottles opening, patrons drinking, fans yelling…it’s all white noise to the thumping of my heart. I can’t stop staring at him. He holds my vision captive. He isn’t just staring at me. He’s reaching into my soul and showing me, and pulling on that tether that binds us, showing every ounce of emotion he holds for just me.

  When he makes it up to me, I’m dizzy on my feet. “Hi.” One word, laced with a myriad of emotion.

  “Hi,” I force out, my voice thick.

  His smile grows as his eyes travel down to my shirt and back up. “Nice shirt.” And I die of embarrassment, silently begging for the floor to collapse under my feet, shooting me into oblivion. He reaches for my hand, and I panic, feeling the stares of everyone in the joint. “Wait, what are you doing?”

  “What does it look like? I’m trying to win the girl.”

  Thump.

  Thump.

  THUMP.

  That’s the pounding of my heart about to explode. I took science. I clearly understand where the Earth’s axis of rotation intersects with the sun and tilts and—oh, whatever! What I’m trying to say is time just stopped. Stood still for a fraction of a second the moment those five auspicious words left his mouth. And in that spec of a moment, the knots in my stomach release with the promise in his stare. As time collapses, I fall hard and fast. But the greatest part is the way his piercing hazel eyes gleam with life, as if they’re telling me his story.

  He’s falling with me.

  I accept his hand, mine shaking in his hold. Keeping focus on his strong chin and lustrous smile for strength, he helps me from my chair and guides me back to the stage. A sudden squeal erupts from my throat when he wraps me in his arms and hops onto the stage. He sits me on a tall bar stool and pulls a second stool next to me so we’re facing.

  He leans in, his voice husky, almost a whisper. “Hi, my name’s Jim,” he says, reaching out to shake my hand again. My cheeks flood with color. I run my tongue over my bottom lip. I stick my hand out to shake his. “I don’t think we ever properly met. So now, I want to introduce you to the real me.” He holds my hand longer than normal, slowly releasing, the tips of his fingers tickling the inside of my palm.

  Placing his lips back to the mic, he says, “This one’s called ‘Beautiful Disaster’.” My heart halts. The world disappears. It’s just him and I. He brings his warm fingers back to the guitar, creating a soft tone with the stroke of a few strings. And then, with a voice rich and smooth like velvet, he begins to sing.

  “If I had the chance to tell you, I’d confess.

  You’re stuck in my head.

  The disaster in you made me a beautiful mess.

  You stripped my heart of its self-doubt,

  And gave me purpose. Became the light in my darkness.

  The words I crave to say to you.

  Your fire fed the beast inside me. Blazed open my soul,

  You make me my own kind of crazy.

  I’m at the edge of falling for something beautiful.

  Give me the words I crave to hear.

  That you’re at the tip of this journey too.

  Jump with me. Fall for the unexpected.

  Say you’ll try. Wal
k blind with me.

  We may crash and burn,

  But the beautiful scars you leave behind will be my peace.

  This is my song to you,

  My beautiful disaster.”

  By the time his fingers slow on his guitar, I can barely see through my swollen, tear-filled eyes. My throat is raw with emotion. He pulls the strap from over his head and places the guitar on a stand next to his stool. His foot hits the stage, and he leans forward, turning off the mic for some privacy, then brushing his thumb across my tear-stained cheek. I lean into his embrace, aching for the warmth his touch brings.

  “You were supposed to fall at my feet, or at least try to rip my clothes off, not cry.” His chuckle, silvery and light, he nudges my chin to look at him. “Why the tears? Am I that bad?” My natural reaction is to take a whack at him, but he chuckles louder, catching my wrist mid-slap, and pulls me into his lap. I fall into his hold willingly. My head finds solace in the crook of his neck, my nose inhaling his manly scent. “I’m sorry I left. I should have made you hash things out with me. I owed you that much.”

  He must be the crazy one. He’s apologizing to me? I pull away, my eyes searching his. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the big ol’ jerk who said stupid things and lied and honestly am crazy.” I wait for him to argue that last part. Still wait… “You’re supposed to tell me I’m not crazy.”

  “But you are. You do hit a lot.” My hand twitches. Darn it! They’re all right. I do have a violent streak. “But I’m willing to let you rough me up, in and out of the bedroom, as long as you say you’ll see where this can go. I should’ve never walked away from you that day. Tell me it’s not too late.”

  Before I wanted to save the world and fly across a trapeze, I wanted to be someone’s person. What the hell does that mean, right? I wanted to be Cleopatra to Mark Antony, Helen to Paris, Juliet to Romeo. Okay, so all those love stories ended viciously and in death, but the passion! The sacrifice both were willing to endure to be together! That’s what I spent my young years yearning for, daydreaming of, and now into my mid adulthood years craving. I wanted someone who was willing to fight hard and love harder. Every true love story was founded not on perfection, but faults. And I knew I would never be perfect. I wanted someone who would lose their breath for me, because of me. Was it pathetic how many times I’ve watched Jerry Maguire just for the “you complete me” scene? Or the Notebook to watch Noah pour his heart out to Allie, bleeding the words, “You are, and always have been, my dream”? Possibly.

  And in this moment, with him holding my stare, waiting for my answer, I feel like Julia Roberts in Notting Hill when it’s time for her to confess or walk away from what could be the best and greatest love of her life. This is where I stop looking from the outside in on someone else’s fairytale romance and start my own story. This is where I fight.

  I straighten myself on the stool. “I still have one question left.”

  “What do you mean?” He asks, a slight hint of amusement in his tone.

  “Our twenty questions. You got the last one in, but I didn’t. So, it’s my turn.”

  He smiles and nods once. “Okay.” He leans back on his stool, giving me the floor.

  Dang-it, this all looked so much easier on the big screen than doing it in real life. I clear my throat. My hands are suddenly clammy, and I wipe them on my jeans. Get on with it, Casey. Okay. Tell him how you feel. Here goes nothing.

  “How fast can you get me that burger you promised and back to your place?” Or chicken out as always! Dagnabbit, that didn’t come out as planned. I need a redo.

  His eyes blaze with happiness, his teeth on full display as he grins wide. He leans slightly into me and stretches his neck to yell behind him. “Judith! I’m gonna need two burgers to-go!”

  Oh my god, he’s yelling across the whole bar I’m demanding food to succumb to his beautiful song! Everyone probably thinks I’m a horrible, hungry jerk! Hi, you just wrote me this heartfelt song to show me how much I mean to you, and my answer is feed me. “Jim, oh my god, that came out wrong! People are going to think I have some sort of burger fetish!”

  He turns back to me, his smile just as beautiful and infectious as his giving eyes and addictive laughter. His voice that sunk so far into my skin and in my soul. I can’t help but smile back, just as lost. “No, it didn’t. You used the one word that would tell me exactly how I’m also feeling.” He leans forward, finally giving me his mouth and kissing me. When he pulls away, I’m convinced my body is floating away.

  “How did burger—”

  “Sometimes, you’re a woman of few words. When you’re passionate about something, it’s not how you say it, it’s the way your smile lights up your entire face. Your eyes gleam with joy, excitement, happiness. You had that look when you mentioned your favorite meal. And looking at me now, I saw that same look. I knew exactly what you were trying to say.”

  My heart feels like it’s twirling inside my chest, sparks of static dancing over my skin. And I suddenly feel as if I’m falling. It doesn’t scare me, though. Because somewhere inside me, I know he’s my safety. My guide. He’s the stability that calms my chaos. “I think I’m in—”

  His finger presses against my lips halting the biggest confession I’ve ever made. “Not here. I want you naked and all to myself when we both say those three words. Got it?”

  I’m pretty sure at least my panties just melted off me, so undressing will be a quick task. “Right, you have to finish playing. I can wait. I’ll…uh, maybe go pay for the burgers.”

  His head tosses back, his laugh loud and animated. “Babe, for one, I own the bar, and two, I only scheduled one song for tonight. I took a chance. And as long as Judith gets her ass movin’ on those burgers, I think I won big.” With owl eyes, I look around. This is his place. His bar. I should have known with all the memorabilia on the wall. The Kurt Cobane display. “So, what do you say we get out of here? You, me, and two burgers to-go?”

  I can’t help but share in the same giddy smile he wears so effortlessly. “I say you throw in that strawberry milkshake and we have a deal.”

  He shifts his neck again, and yells, “Judith! Extra-large strawberry milkshake!” Then he kisses me hard, bringing us both to a stand, me still in his arms. He grabs the mic, turning it on. “Looks like the song worked, so everyone have a good night. Limitless Infinity will finish out the set with special guest tonight, Violet here from the Misfits. Wish me luck!”

  The crowd breaks out into howling and clapping as Jim tosses me over his shoulder and walks off the side of the stage. I can’t help my own laughter bellowing from my chest as he smacks my butt, the same giddiness as his own chest rumbles with humor.

  When we get to the back entrance of the bar, he flips me, allowing me a few seconds to get steady on my feet. When he tugs me out the back door to a motorcycle parked on the side of the alley, I stop, halting him.

  He turns, his expression curious and anxious. That’s when I stick out my hand.

  “What’s up?” he asks.

  “Casey. My name is Casey. And I am insanely unstable and crazy and broke, and did I mention I have a hitting problem? I just wanted to introduce you to the real me. Just in case you may have sung that sweet song to the wrong girl. You can run, and I can go back in there and eat those two burgers alone.”

  He pulls me into him, my chest colliding with his. “Nice try. You’re not getting both burgers.”

  Drats! “But you don’t even look hungry. I’m starved!” And I can’t stop thinking about that strawberry milkshake.

  His mouth covers mine in a kiss, and just like those romance flicks, he weakens my knees. His soft chuckle tickles against my lips. “Babe, I’m going to work you so hard, you’re gonna learn a whole new level of starved.”

  Jerry McGuire, you have nothing on Jim Harrison.

  I nod as if I’ve never felt so confident in an answer in my entire existence. “You have a deal. But I get to sip on that milkshake during the warmup.” Can
’t have that tasty treat melting on us. I mean, what a waste—

  The back door opens, and a middle-aged woman shoves two large plastic bags at us. “I must say, she sure is prettier in person. But goddamn, you’ve turned into a pussy. Enjoy him, sweetheart. He tends to get grumpy when he doesn’t eat.” Then the door slams shut.

  My brows turn up. “All true. Which means I’m gonna need to eat first. We better hurry.”

  I allow him to take my hand and get me settled on the back of his bike, then race us through the city, knowing when he eats, it will have nothing to do with the burgers.

  If it matters, the burgers don’t get eaten ’til morning.

  One year later…

  Just Jim

  “Babe, we’re here.” Casey snorts and lifts her face from my shoulder, the impressions of my shirt wrinkled into her still half-asleep face. She’s been super tired lately, and I worry she’s coming down with something. She blinks rapidly, clearing her tired eyes. “Here, let me help you with that.” I chuckle, lifting my thumb and wiping away the line of drool she has trailing down from her lip to her chin. Damn, she’s cute when she’s groggy. She grumbles, slapping my hand away, and I laugh, looking forward to getting her alone in that room again—the room where all the magic began.

  “Shoot, did I sleep the whole time?” I’m not shocked she did either. She’s been working herself day and night studying for exams, and this is probably the most sleep she’s gotten in the last three weeks. Casey and I have been inseparable since that night at the bar. I brought her home, and let’s just say we got to know one another on a whole deeper level. She also scammed me and ate both those burgers. Damn, my woman can eat.

  But she can also blow minds like no other. She may be a free spirit with no direction, but I think she just had to find her own way. While I ran the bar and did my gigs, she went on being Casey, the magnificent fearless kitten who challenged everything. She was a handful, argumentative, and definitely crazy, and every single moment I spent in her insane world made me fall harder in love with her.