Seeking Refuge

by Lenora Worth

  Four different farms for sale. He skimmed the first three pretty quickly. He couldn’t afford two of them and the other one looked in bad shape.

  But the fourth one caught his attention and had his heart pumping too fast.

  The Fisher place. Located next to the Bawell Hat Shop and Farm. The same address Josie’s friend had given him. The directions were listed along with the price. Within his budget.

  Was this the house Josie had lived in when she was young?

  Chapter Two

  The next morning, Josie saw her brother, Josiah, approaching the back porch of the grossmammi haus. He often stopped by after he made the rounds to tend the animals and take care of the milking.

  “Gut morning,” Josie called, smiling at her brother. Hard to believe she’d treated him so terribly after he’d found her in a local hospital sick with pneumonia just a few weeks after she’d left Dinah on the Bawells’ porch. He’d brought her home to recover but it had been a hard road, both spirtually and emotionally.

  “Gut day to you, sister.”

  Josiah’s smile said it all. Her brother was at last happy and thriving after many years of being a nomad, tormented and in despair. They’d both been scarred by an angry, abusive father who’d treated their mother and them so badly that Josiah had left as soon as he turned eighteen. Josie had blamed him for leaving her there alone.

  But he’d never given up on her, and he’d taken her to Ohio with him after their parents died.

  He settled on the porch steps and stared out over the green pastures and the cash crops he’d planted to harvest this fall. Then he turned to her. “Josie, I need to tell you something.”

  Josie’s heart jumped and skidded. She’d always felt that one day, Naomi and Raesha or her brother would tell her it was time for her to leave. Silly, but she couldn’t get comfortable even though she felt safe here.

  Putting a hand to her heart, she stared at her brother. “What? Is something wrong? Did I do something?”

  “Josie,” he said, his hand reaching up to touch hers, his dark eyes bright with concern, “you are safe here and you have a home here, always. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

  “I try to believe,” she said, glancing around. “I know Gott brought me home, but I don’t want to be a burden.”

  “You are not a burden,” her brother said, shaking his head. “You have been a blessing to Raesha and me, and especially to Naomi.”

  “I love her.” That was true even if at times Josie felt she’d been put with Naomi so the older woman could keep an eye on her. But Naomi had been nothing but loving and kind. They were quite a pair once they got going.

  “We all do.” He glanced toward the house. “Having you here to be a friend and helper for her means so much to Raesha and me. Naomi loves you as one of her own.”

  Josie bobbed her head and blinked away tears while she managed to calm herself. “I should not doubt. I will continue to pray and show grace and thankfulness.” Wiping at her eyes, she asked, “So what do you need to tell me?”

  “I have someone coming to look at the house today.”

  Josie shifted her gaze to the old homestead that she saw every day. Her brother had come back to Campton Creek and worked hard to restore it after a terrible fire had killed their parents years ago. A fire she’d felt responsible for starting. “Really?”

  “Ja.” Her brother paused a moment. “I wanted to make you aware. Will you be all right if they want to buy our old home?”

  “I don’t mind anyone living there,” she said. “I just can’t go back there again.”

  “I understand,” Josiah replied, his eyes kind. “But remember, the fire was an accident. You were a child, Josie. A frightened child who’d seen our father abusing our mother over and over again.”

  Josie closed her eyes, remembering how she’d accidentally dropped a lit lamp when she’d run into the barn to help her mother, to save her mother from their father’s brutality. “It still hurts, bruder. I dropped the lamp and the hay caught fire and... Mamm screamed for me to run. They didn’t make it out. It will always stay with me.”

  Josiah patted her hand. “But you’re safe, and if we do sell, you’ll have part of the payment for your future.”

  “I don’t want it,” she said on a sharp tone.

  Josiah pulled away. “It’s okay. We don’t know if this man will buy the place.”

  Raesha came around the corner, carrying Daniel in her arms. Josie had not liked Raesha when she’d first been forced to come and live here. Now she considered her a sister.

  “Here you two are,” Raesha said, her gray eyes always gentle, her brown hair neat underneath her kapp. “Josiah, I’m off to the shop. Daniel will keep me company in the store today since he’s fussy.”

  “Where is Dinah?” Josie asked, always one thought away from worrying.

  “She’s with Naomi and Katy Carver. Katy will take care of her but you can check on her for me, ja?”

  Josie gave Raesha a soft smile. “I will do that. I can come and help with Daniel, too. And do whatever you need.”

  “Denke.”

  Katy, a couple of years older than Josie and a friend, often sat with Naomi and read to her while Josie helped in the shop. Josie loved Dinah, but she kept her distance, afraid she’d love her too much, so much that she’d want her child back one day. Just being near Dinah brought her happiness, but Dinah clung to Raesha and Josiah, the only parents she’d truly known. Josie could not force them to give Dinah back since she had no means of taking care of her daughter. Dinah would never know the truth.

  Josiah stood. “I’m going over the footbridge to meet our potential buyer.”

  Raesha gave him a quick kiss. “I hope this one will stick.” Then she glanced at Josie. “How do you feel about this?”

  Josie swallowed her fears. “I hope a gut family moves in and puts love back into that house.”

  Raesha patted her arm, and little Daniel grinned and reached his chubby fingers toward Josie. She grinned back and tickled his soft tummy. He was such a precious child.

  Raesha kissed her son and then smiled at Josiah before hurrying to the far side of the big house, where the hat shop and factory covered the other half of the property.

  “So do I,” Josiah replied after his wife had left. “It will be nice to have that land off our hands and into the care of another family.”

  He gave Josie a reassuring smile. “We could build a fence.”

  “No need,” she said. “Once it belongs to someone else, I think I’ll feel a lot better.”

  Her brother accepted that as he strolled toward the footbridge. Josie stood to stare after him, hoping she’d spoken the truth. Could she finally let go?

  * * *

  Tobias stood in the yard of the house next to the Bawell place. He knew Josiah had married and he knew the Bawell name. Josie had often mentioned Naomi Bawell, the kind woman who’d been a big help to Josie at times.

  He had not seen nor heard from Josie for over three years. She’d left him right after Christmas, in a bitter cold winter.

  Then a friend back in Kentucky finally told him Josie had written to her and let her know that she was safe and back home. She’d asked Sarah not to tell anyone, but Tobias had managed to find out the truth when chatty Sarah slipped up and mentioned Josie.

  Now he studied the house in front of him. It looked fresh and newly painted, two storied with a long wide front porch and several windows. A smaller house than most, but doable for a bachelor or a couple just starting out.

  Josie had never talked about this place much except to say her parents were dead and her brother had left when he was young. She’d often mentioned her brother but she didn’t want to talk about the past. She’d missed Josiah but he’d lived in Ohio back then and Josie didn’t reach out to him. How did they both wind up back here?


  This looked like a nice farm. But the bigger question was, why they had both left?

  A fairly new barn stood behind the house. The property was only a few acres, but he didn’t need much. He planned to continue his woodworking and also grow vegetables year-round to sell at market. The Englisch loved the farm-to-table trend these days, so they’d buy fresh vegetables in bulk. They called this organic. The Amish called it natural since they’d been living off the land for centuries.

  He heard someone behind him and turned to find an Amish man approaching. “Josiah Fisher?” he called.

  The man nodded as he came close. “Ja. I own this property. I understand you want to look it over.”

  “I do,” Tobias said, shaking Josiah’s hand. “I’m Tobias Mast.”

  Josiah looked surprised, but he quickly hid it behind a steady stare. “Are you from around here?”

  “No, I’m from Kentucky,” Tobias said, wondering if Josiah already knew who he was. From what he remembered, Josie hadn’t told her brother much about him, either. “Orchard Mountain, Kentucky.”

  “Orchard Mountain.” Josiah stood back, his eyes filling with questions. “Did you know my sister, Josie Fisher?”

  Tobias couldn’t lie. “I did. I knew her well. I was in love with her.”

  The other man went pale and then turned stern. “That’s what I was afraid of. And you came here to buy our place?”

  Tobias nodded. “If I like it, ja. But you need to know one other thing. I also came here to find Josie. I need to know why she left me.” Seeing Josiah’s concern, he added, “I found out from a reliable friend that she’s back here and living with you and your new wife.”

  The other man glanced toward the Bawell property. “She is here, but she won’t like this.”

  “She is here?” Tobias asked to be sure he’d heard correctly. Hope hit against despair in his heart. “Is she okay?”

  Josiah put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go inside and talk.”

  Tobias wondered if Josiah would try to keep him away from Josie. But he’d find a way to see her, sooner or later.

  He walked into the house and glanced around, letting his questions stay unasked for now. The small kitchen area and a living room made up most of the first floor. He saw an open door into a big room and figured that would be a bedroom. “You’ve done a lot of renovations.”

  “I did,” Josiah said. He told Tobias he’d come home a few years ago to sell the house. “Instead, I met the widow next door...and we got married. You seem to have already heard that, though.”

  Tobias heard the hesitation in Josiah’s words. “But?”

  “I’m just surprised you’re here,” Josiah admitted. “I never expected this since so much time has passed.”

  “Why is Josie here?” Tobias asked, needing to know.

  Josiah guided him to the back of the house and stared out the wide window that looked out to the barn. “She’ll have to be the one to tell you about why she’s here. That’s all I can say other than she wanted to come home. It is not my place.”

  “But something happened?” Tobias said. “You know why she left me?”

  Josiah whirled to give him a solemn stare. Running a hand down his beard, he said, “I will not talk about my sister with you. If you like the property, you can make an offer. But I warn you, I will have to tell Josie about this. If she does not want to see you, or if she disagrees with you buying this place, then I will not sell it to you. She’s been through enough.”

  Tobias saw the concern in the other man’s eyes. “I’ll take the place,” he said. “Name your price.”

  “You saw the asking price,” Josiah retorted. “Are you listening to me?”

  “Then I’ll give you that price.” Tobias turned to take another look at the new kitchen cabinets and the big worktable. “I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not leaving until I see Josie.”

  “You might be in for a world of hurt,” Josiah said. “Josie doesn’t get out much. She likes to keep to herself.”

  “Why? Is she ill?”

  Josiah shook his head. “She is healthy and only just now getting back to normal. It’s not for me to say.”

  Tobias backed off. “I understand. But I won’t give up.”

  Josiah shot him a look of admiration. “I can see that clearly. But you might be in for the fight of your life. She could bolt and run again, and I don’t want that.”

  So Josie had been running away? From what? Or maybe from who?

  “I don’t want that, either,” Tobias assured him. “But I do want to buy this property, and one day I hope to get some answers.” He shrugged. “Even if Josie never sees me or acknowledges me, I’ll be here. Right here, watching over her and waiting for her.”

  Josiah nodded, appreciation in his eyes. “I pray that she’ll see the good in you and accept your presence. She could use a friend, someone she can trust.”

  “She trusted me once.”

  “Gott’s will, she may again,” Josiah said. Then he turned to leave. “I will let you know if I can accept your offer, Tobias. But don’t hold your breath.”

  “I’ve been holding my breath since she left me,” Tobias admitted. “I’ve got nothing but time.”

  “You’re welcome to look around all you’d like. You can lock the door behind you.”

  “Denke,” Tobias replied.

  After Josiah left, Tobias went to the corner window and stared out across the land. Josie was right next door, in that big house. So close, but so out of his reach.

  Could he win her back?

  Or was she too far gone to see that he still loved her?

  Chapter Three

  Later that day, Josie waited in the living room with Naomi. She wanted to find out if Josiah had sold the house, but he’d been busy all day long and she’d helped Raesha with the gift shop that served as the storefront for the hat shop. Spring brought in more tourists who wanted to buy homemade breads and jams, goat-milk soaps and lotions, and, of course, hats. So they’d barely had time to grab a sandwich in the back for dinner.

  Now she was tired and hungry but also worried. She needed to remember what she’d learned in counseling. Don’t borrow trouble. Live in the moment and try not to project too many worries into the future.

  And trust in God.

  “Should we head over to supper?” Naomi asked. “You know it’s a treat to eat with the entire family when we can.”

  “We’ll go in a moment, Mammi Naomi,” Josie said. “I thought Josiah would come here first to talk to me.”

  Naomi’s eyes had grown weak over the years, but Josie could tell the older woman was staring a hole through her back. “Child, you need to stop fretting. The house will always be there, even if someone else moves into it.”

  “But someone else could be happy there,” Josie replied, touching a hand to her kapp. “That would make me very happy.”

  “You are so sure about that?”

  She whirled to look down at the woman in the chair. “I believe I’m sure, ja.”

  “Sit and let us discuss this,” Naomi said, used to Josie’s rants and nervousness. “You are troubled by this news?”

  “I’m worried,” Josie admitted. “What if they aren’t happy? What if that house makes them...not happy.”

  “A house has no power, young one,” Naomi replied on a soft note. “A home has the power of love and grace and forgiveness.”

  “I want those things—in that house,” Josie said, pointing a finger toward the window. “I need to know that, but my family didn’t have those things.”

  “Josie,” Naomi said, her smile serene, “you are right. You didn’t have much grace and forgiveness, but your mudder loved you both so much. Now you have your bruder back and you have family right here in our home. So you have found love and grace and forgiveness, ain’t so?”

 
“It is so,” Josie said, turning back toward the woman who had always loved her. “I’m trying to live each day to the fullest, but today has been a difficult one.”

  “You are doing your best, child.”

  Naomi lifted slowly to stand. Josie moved the walker close so they could go to their middle-of-the-week supper with Josiah and Raesha. Usually the kinder were already in bed on these nights, probably because Josie couldn’t bear to be around Dinah too much. She’d made progress, but it was hard. She appreciated that her brother and Raesha didn’t demand she get more involved with Dinah. Holding the child for too long only made Josie sad for the past she’d lost. Would she ever be able to love anyone again?

  “The sooner we get to supper, the sooner we can hear what Josiah has to say,” Naomi pointed out.

  Josie gave Naomi a wry smile. “You are the old, wise one.”

  Naomi chuckled. This was a joke between them. Old and wise versus young and confused.

  “I am that,” Naomi said, “but you are becoming more mature and wise by the day. I am proud of you, Josephine.”

  Josie let the sweetness of Mammi Naomi’s words flow over her. “I will try to be worthy of your praise.”

  “Then help me get to my supper,” Naomi retorted with a playful grin.

  Josie helped her out the door and across the breezeway, the soft early-evening wind flowing over them with a feather’s touch. Josie couldn’t stop herself from glancing over at the house that haunted her dreams. The tree line blocked most of the house and barn, but she could see the corner of the front porch where she used to sit and play with the rag dolls her mamm had made for her. Josiah should have come to tell her if they had a buyer or not. But he’d busied himself all day with things that seemed suddenly urgent. He hadn’t even stopped by the shop to see Daniel and Raesha.

  Was he afraid to tell Josie that someone had made an offer?

  Or maybe he didn’t want to disappoint her if the place had not sold.