Rise: A Second Chance Rockstar Romance (Rock God Book 1)

by Cassandra Robbins

  There, in the front row, is an angel with long, dark hair. Could she be my muse? She looks up at me adoringly. Her big brown eyes are full of tears, pouring out love.

  She worships me.

  I motion for them to bring her onstage. The barrier that keeps them away, blocks her, but she claws and tries to reach for me. The tips of our fingers touch, and I motion for Sal, one of our roadies, to bring her up as the masses go wild.

  Nuke’s drums start to beat almost menacingly, and I grin as she at last gets on stage and launches herself at me.

  I hold her close, almost swaying with her.

  Her heart beats for me. Rapid, frantic, excited pounding, it seeps into me as does her own smell. Not unpleasant but not what I crave. I kiss her lips, wanting to feel anything, wanting my heart to beat.

  I back up and she cries and speaks. It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand her words. I know what she’s feeling as I replace her face with another.

  Then I hold her hand up and let my addicts adore her. She trembles as they take her away and I grab the bottle, waving my hand for my brothers to stop playing. The lights and smoke fade as I drink and tell them all my truths.

  “You ever been in love?” They answer with a loud rumble. Ammo walks over, his face filled with concern as I continue. “My brothers are thinking I’m gonna go all cowboy on you guys. But I know you all understand me.” The answer is a loud, pulsing roar and I nod.

  “That’s the thing about love—fucking amore. It comes at you like a bullet ripping into your skin and can take you out.” I laugh. “There’re all kinds of love.” I take a swig of Jack and pace the stage. “Good, bad, toxic, exciting. The kind that comes at you and you know it’s unhealthy, but you do it anyway, right?” I lift my hand, grasping the bottle, and they scream that they understand.

  “How about the ones who leave and run away like a fucking rat? They take a part of you with them. Yeah, how about those?” I nod as my eyes see double and I reach for the microphone to stabilize me.

  “How about the ones who turn your love ugly?” I scream, and they answer me. It vibrates loudly in my chest and I reach for my heart.

  “This next song I wrote as a love song, but I’ll let you all decide.” I take a drink and turn to look at Cash who shakes his head. I ignore him and tell Ammo to follow. As I let my guitar scream, Nuke picks up the tune and Ammo joins in.

  “There’s been a lot of talk lately about my personal life. Shit that means nothing. But this meant something. I wrote it for another, but it belongs to you.” I nod at the crowd. The earth pounds as they chant, showing their gratitude with lights from phones and lighters.

  “Fuck you, Gia.” The words vibrate around the arena. Suddenly I’m not numb. I’m alive and angry and so fucking in love with her it hurts.

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  Four.

  Baby, I don’t want to see you cryin’.

  But I can’t live without your love.

  This hunger that eats me up, only your lips can cure.

  I make everyone bleed.

  But that’s nothing compared to my heart.

  It bleeds for you.

  It’s strong and powerful. And mine beats for yours.

  It beats for you.

  Let me match your breathing; let me steal your breath, rest my racing mind.

  For this moment, I’m at peace.

  I can’t make you love me. I can’t control your heart.

  But baby, mine is yours.

  It beats for you.

  It beats for you.

  “Thank you, my friends.” I lift my hand. “Rome, you rock. I love you all. Good night!” I leave without a backward glance. I know they want an encore, but I’m too raw right now. I sense Sebastian following me as I head to the green room.

  “Granger? Hold up.” I stop and look up at the fluorescent lights as our team runs past. Ammo is playing a solo for the encore, I guess.

  “Stay away from me, Sebastian. If you want to live, stay the fuck away.” I start walking again.

  “I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but I fucked up. I’m a big enough man to acknowledge it.”

  “What?” I turn to see the camera off and hanging by his side.

  “I’m not in love with you, so I see things differently. But Gia is.” He shakes his head, almost like he can’t quite believe it.

  “She ran from you also?” I laugh, but it’s bitter and hollow.

  “She never runs from me. Her heart was yours from the day we met, and I don’t think I really acknowledged it until right now.” He nods at me, a shine of tears in his eyes.

  “Look, man.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I can’t tell you what to do. But I can come clean for my own self. I wanted Gia away from you. I pushed her to leave. I thought you would hurt her. But the thing is, I’m the one who’s hurting her, and I can’t live with that. She deserves the world. And it’s not my place to pick who she shares it with.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t beat yourself up. She’s never trusted me. She would have left sooner or later.” I turn, needing a fresh bottle of Jack, a cigarette, and some Italian pussy.

  “She loves you, Granger!” The sharp echo of his voice is like a knife stabbing me in the back. “She always has. There was a ghost in our relationship and that was you. I thought eventually I could make her forget. But that never happened. You deserve to know the truth.”

  My hand stops before I open the door. “You talk to her?” I close my eyes against opening up more pain.

  “I have. She’s in LA at Axel’s wedding.” I nod, then swing open the green room door as I hear my brothers riding the high that only our fans’ love can give us.

  I take a breath and turn as I pull my phone out. Ignoring the whispers, I pass everyone and keep moving. Someone calls my name; it sounds like Ammo.

  But I’m done with all this shit.

  I’m done running.

  GIA

  Present – Twenty-five years old

  Los Angeles, California

  “I can’t believe you.” I look over at Julianna. Wearing an incredible pink chiffon halter dress and heels to die for, she looks like an angel. But clearly Julianna has become a devil since she came strolling in right when I was getting ready to call Blade and tell him one of his guys kidnapped my friend.

  Thank God I didn’t because she’s glowing. “I was worried,” I say quietly.

  “You were passed out. I thought you needed sleep,” she whispers back.

  “I… how did this happen?” I smile as Bear and his old lady sit down next to us. We’re in a giant air-conditioned tent in the middle of one of those huge horse estates down the street from the clubhouse. And I should clarify—when I say tent, this is like lavish celebrity stuff. It had to cost my brother a fortune.

  “Bear.” I nod. He looks uncomfortable in his dress slacks and black cut. He’s been around since as long as I can remember. I think he has a daughter my age.

  “VP gone crazy.” He looks up at the chandelier hanging from the top, and the thousands of little sparkling lights glittering around the tent.

  I can’t help but grin. “Guess so.”

  “I love it,” his old lady says, her bloodred lipstick a bit distracting. “Big Bear here is just ornery because he had to get dressed up. Don’t he look handsome?” Julianna and I look at Bear whose stomach is almost bursting out of his black T-shirt. His beard is combed and his hair’s slicked back, all for my brother. That makes my heart ache.

  “You both look gorgeous,” she adds.

  I nod, tears already stinging my eyes, and lean back toward Julianna. “I’m losing it.”

  She looks at me, then at my dress, and shrugs. “Well, at least you look good.”

  “What has happened to you?” I mumble.

  “I’m sorry I disappeared, but I had business to take care of.” She crosses her legs.

  “Business? I had to sit in utter torture waiting for you while I got m
y makeup done, and I couldn’t say anything because apparently he’s with Cindy.”

  “He’s not.” She smirks and I’m stunned.

  “Are you high? What is happening?”

  “Excuse me, Gia?” I jump and look over at a prospect who looks about as uncomfortable as Bear.

  “Yes?”

  “The VP said get your skinny ass… butt in the family section.” He straightens.

  “Oh, yes. I was just…” I stand and look over at my mother who’s glaring at me. So much for hiding. “I’ll be right there.” He backs up but waits, which makes me grit my teeth.

  “Just lay low,” I grumble, forcing a smile.

  “What?” She looks confused.

  “Stay here.” I slap her legs so I can shimmy out and try to walk straight. I had to have a couple of glasses of Cristal champagne because my head was pounding. That and my nerves were shot from worrying about Julianna.

  The tent is filling up. I take in the multitude of flowers and the sight of Doug sitting and talking with my mom. Something is up. I mean, I know I’m going on very little sleep and all, but it seems like everyone is looking at me. Maybe it’s because I’m Axel’s sister, but that’s stupid. It’s not like they haven’t seen me before.

  “Hey, Mom.” I brace myself against Doug’s shoulder as my mom looks up at me. Her knowing eyes don’t miss a thing, so I sit. Why pretend I’m good? It seems everyone knows already.

  “Doug, please stay with me.” I grab his hand.

  “Gia Ana Fontaine, do you have any idea how worried we’ve all been? Your brother has had enough to deal with, having to be all secret, and now all the press. Doug, tell her.” She looks over at Doug, who squeezes my hand.

  “We’re not gonna worry about any of that right now, Janet. Gia’s here. I’ve fixed her up.” He turns to me. “You look amazing.” He runs his hands through my hair. “It’s all going to be fabulous.”

  “Do you have any Advil? My head is pounding.” I feel bad, but my mom’s energy is not great right now. “What press?” I sigh, almost bracing myself.

  “Nothing,” she snips as Doug sits back, wrapping an arm around me.

  “Where’s Robert?” I lean into him.

  “In the back. He gets nervous, you know.” I look back and blink at how many bikers and their families are here.

  “You can bring Julianna up with us,” my mom says primly.

  “What is wrong with you, Mom? I’m not in the mood. I’m here, the whole club is fixed up for your son, and he’s spent a fortune. Look at this tent. What can you possibly be unhappy about?”

  She looks at me, and for the first time I can actually see tiny wrinkles under her eyes. She appears tired and worried, but I guess that’s our theme.

  “You’ve been missing. You should have been a bridesmaid, not sitting in the back like a stranger. You missed all the parties, and you’ve hurt Antoinette, not to mention the twins, all so you can follow Rhys Granger.” She looks straight ahead.

  And I’m done.

  “Excuse me.” I stand as Doug pulls me back down.

  “Let’s all just get through this day. We can get fucked up after pictures. Hold it together, Gia.”

  “I’m not going to fight with you, Mom. But I will say this: I’m almost twenty-six years old. I refuse to let you take out all your shit on me. I have enough of my own.” This time my eyes are getting teary from anger, which, let’s face it, is better than a broken heart.

  “Okay, let’s take a little walk.” Doug stands, takes my hand, and we head to the side of the tent.

  “Talk to me,” he demands, his brown eyes looking around before he takes us into the corner of the tent.

  “I’m holding on by a thin thread, Doug. I already have enough guilt, and don’t need my mom and all her shit.” I point at her.

  He brings my hand down as I straighten my skintight red satin dress. It’s strapless so it’s a good thing I have great breasts. Otherwise, I would have spilled out of it already.

  “That’s not what this is about.” His eyes caress my face. “Gia, Gia, Gia.” He pulls me into a hug.

  “I’m almost numb, Doug. Yet my heart still burns. Why does it hurt so much?” I stare at the vast array of flowers in front of me.

  “If it didn’t hurt, baby girl, it wouldn’t be worth it in the end.” I pull back.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means the wedding is starting. Do you want your friend?” he says tightly as we both glance over at Julianna. She’s watching something on her phone. Then I glance over at my mom who looks pitiful sitting alone.

  “God,” I groan and take his hand, returning to the chair I just vacated. “I’m sorry, Mom,” I whisper. It’s curt, but at least I did it.

  She nods as the music starts to play out of the speakers and we all turn. All the guests in the tent, even the roughest-looking bikers, smile at them.

  “Oh my God.” My hand goes to my chest as my twin nieces stand at the opening and stare at us. Juliette starts to walk, tossing rose petals, but Michelle stands there looking like she’s gonna cry.

  “Oh dear.” I stand, ready to help, just as she sees me and throws the basket screaming, “Giaaa!”

  I catch her right as my brother enters the tent. I laugh and squeeze her and kiss her fat cheeks. She squirms, but whatever, I need her right now. As my eyes lock with Axel’s, he must be satisfied with my appearance because he laughs as my other niece throws herself around my leg.

  I hand Michelle to my mom and grab Juliette. We all turn to watch the wedding party walk down the aisle.

  Eve smiles up at Blade. They’re all so beautiful and so in love, it almost makes my knees give out.

  Charlie and David, Edge and Dolly, followed by Ryder and Cindy make their way to the assigned spots.

  “I got you.” Doug stands behind me. He gets it, understands, and thankfully doesn’t say I’ll get over it. Because I won’t.

  Never will be. I’ve loved Rhys Granger for as long as I can remember, and I will love him until the day I die.

  It doesn’t matter if we never see each other again. This is my truth, and I need to make peace with it.

  “Mommy.” Juliette points and my eyes drift to the tent’s opening. Antoinette stands in a white lace dress that has the most incredible train I’ve ever seen. She also has a veil I could only dream of wearing.

  She’s beautiful, breathtaking. Guess I’m not the only one who thinks so, considering my brother, one of the club’s most-feared bikers, blinks back tears. Not waiting for her, he meets her halfway, taking her hand.

  It’s then that I realize my niece is wiping my tears away. Why am I crying? Because he loves her so much. Axel never wanted this, and yet here he is. I look at his brothers standing next to him, smiling at him and at their own wives. It’s a family, a band of brothers who would die for each other.

  Chairs creak as we sit and listen, but all I can do is cling to my niece who holds me back. Her chubby little hand plays with my hair as her parents say their vows.

  “I never thought I’d see the day.” My mom reaches for my hand. I wonder if my dad was invited.

  Why do you make all the girls cry? It spins in my head. I should have listened to Stephanie all those years ago. But as I look at my brother, I know that I regret none of it.

  I love him, and no matter what the future holds, I know he loves me. And I wouldn’t give any of that up, even knowing how we’ve hurt each other, and despite the pain I’m in.

  Some people are born to love many times. Others love only once.

  Axel kisses Antoinette. Everyone cheers, and I smile, walking over to hug and laugh with my new sister-in-law.

  Smiling for the camera as the photographer takes pictures. Laughing with Dolly. I do all these things, while in my head I’m counting the moments until I can hide in a corner and fucking sob and let out all of today’s joy. Because as happy as I am for my brother, I’m still human.

  “You okay?”

  I look up to se
e Edge. How long he’s been standing next to me is anyone’s guess.

  “Edge, how are you?”

  His blue eyes focus on me, and he wraps an arm around my shoulder. “Better than you.” He grins. “Come on, let’s get fucked up.”

  Laughing, I let him steer me into another large tent with tons of decorated tables. I almost groan. I didn’t know we were having a sit-down dinner, or I guess brunch, in this case.

  He walks me straight up to Axel who’s laughing with Blade and David, his arm planted possessively around Antoinette. I could have sworn I saw Julianna come in here. We need a plan. I figure we let everyone start drinking, then call an Uber and have them take me to my house in Venice.

  He looks over at me and brings an arm around my shoulder but keeps talking. Again, I have this odd sensation like I’m missing something, but quite frankly, I’m too tired to care.

  “I need to use the restroom.” Axel looks down at me, frowning, but lets me go. Stepping back out into the afternoon sun, I head into the massive, ranch-style house for the bathroom.

  “Oh my God, in a way it’s fucking hot,” I hear Dolly as I turn the corner. She and Cindy are watching something on her phone, and I know this has something to do with me, or Rhys.

  “It’s hot. Even the fuck you part.” Cindy bites her lip, watching the screen.

  “Especially the fuck you par—” I walk straight up and hold out my hand to Dolly. She purses her red lips, and she glances at Cindy who looks a mess already. Her big boobs are almost falling out of her dress, and her eyes are slightly glazed. I almost ask her what she’s taking because whatever it is, she looks comfortably numb, and I could use some of that right now.

  “Gia, I’m not supposed to show you this.” Dolly looks at me and suddenly it all clicks.

  “Is this why you guys are all acting weird around me?” I almost stomp my foot, but I’m in five-inch Jimmy Choos, so I flop down on the couch.

  “Just give it to me. I don’t have a phone anymore.” I put my head back. I’m so tired I could probably fall asleep, but that can wait until I see why the whole world seems to be looking at me like I’m some kind of different species.