Pretty, Hip, & Hoodwinked

by Madison Johns

  Agnes shook her head, doubtful that he was really joking, but she let it slide. “Can you do me a favor and put my suitcase in the LX. I need to say goodbye to my cat.

  When Andrew was gone, Agnes searched out her cat, who currently was racing around the base of her peace lily. She had to chuckle before she pulled Duchess off the plant. “How many times have I told you to stay off my plant?”

  Duchess dangled off Agnes’s arm and Agnes set the Russian Gray down. He was a good cat most days, but not so much on others if she stayed away too long. He’s been known to knock down plants and scatter her blankets.

  Agnes gave Duchess a good petting until Andrew came back in and he smiled. “It seems that I’m on cat watching patrol,” he said.

  “Now, remember to only feed her twice a day. If she gets more than two cans of cat food it will be hard to wean her back off of it.”

  “I know how to take care of a cat, Agnes. It’s not brain surgery.”

  She knew Andrew was joking this time for certain. Agnes gave him a lingering kiss before she got into the car and shot off down the road.

  She stopped at the gas station to fill the LX. “Hello,” she greeted the clerk. “Do you happen to know how far it is to Redwater? It’s in the thumb and near Port Austin.”

  “And how would I know that?” the young man asked, as he chomped on his gum.

  “Can’t you look it up on your phone?”

  “Can’t you?”

  Agnes shook her head at the clerk. “I can remember when young people showed their elders respect. I’m sure your boss would be down on you if he knew how you spoke to me. I’m Agnes Barton, private investigator here in Tawas.”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll take a look.”

  The clerk came back with an answer as his fingers moved quickly across the screen. “Three hours.”

  Agnes dropped her shoulders. “Thanks. I had hoped it wasn’t that far.” She bought a few Diet Cokes and was off down the road, trying not to think about how long and boring her trip would be without Eleanor.

  * * *

  It was an exhausting two-plus hours later when Agnes arrived at the chalet. She frowned when she approached the door. She didn’t see Kimberly’s SUV and there was a little girl who was standing on the porch, waving as Agnes approached.

  “Is this where Kimberly Steele lives?” Agnes asked.

  “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

  “I know, but you can get an adult to speak with me, can’t you?”

  “I suppose, since you’re old and you don’t look like you’re crazy.”

  The little girl went inside and a few minutes later a pretty brunette came to the door. “Can I help you?”

  “Does Kimberly Steele live here? She asked me to come to Redwater to help her.”

  The door widened and another woman asked, “And who might you be?”

  “I’m an investigator. Agnes Barton is my name. I’ve solved many cases in Tawas.”

  “Before you retired?”

  Agnes was beginning to get a headache. “After, actually. Is Kimberly here or not?”

  “No, she doesn’t live here anymore, but I can give you her new address.”

  The address was written down and handed to Agnes. “Here you go. I know how people your age—”

  “Get irritated when people say people you age? Believe it or not I have my wits about me and have just as good a memory as the next person.” Agnes rustled through her pockets. “Now, where is that address.”

  “You dropped it on the ground,” the woman said.

  “Silly me.”

  Agnes picked up the piece of paper and made it back to her car, leaving in a trail of dust. She had to calm down. She wasn’t certain who the people were that lived at the chalet now, but they certainly weren’t very nice. She also wondered, though, if they were related to Kimberly in some way since the older woman resembled Kimberly. Perhaps she shouldn’t vent when she saw Kimberly, but right now, she was beyond miffed.

  When she arrived at Kimberly’s house, Kimberly was teary eyed as Agnes was led inside. “You poor dear,” Agnes said. Agnes looked around and asked, “Where’s your baby?”

  “Her parents took her to the chalet while Kimberly sorts through things,” said a blonde with spiked hair, who came up behind Kimberly.

  “Oh, so that’s who lives there now?” Agnes asked.

  “Jeremy’s sister Betsie does with her daughter Katie, but my parents have been staying there until renovations are done in their cabin.”

  Agnes tried not to grimace. “I met all of them when I went to the chalet. Where is Jeremy?”

  “Out of town,” Corrine said. “And don’t suggest she call her husband. Kimberly would like to clear her name before he finds out.”

  Agnes cocked a brow. “Oh. Will he be gone for the duration of this case?”

  “Yes,” Kimberly and Corrine said in unison. Then Corrine stepped forward.

  “I’m Corrine,” she introduced herself.

  “Well, I’m Agnes. Before you ask, Eleanor is out of town visiting her sister.”

  “It sounds like we all have our own problems,” Kimberly said. “I had hoped Eleanor would be here, too, but we’ll be able to work the case in her stead.”

  “It sounds great. Do you have room for me to stay here or should I room with Mrs. Barry like I did the last time I was in town? She’s certainly funny when she’s lit up.” Agnes laughed. Then catching sight of Kimberly’s and Corrine’s expressions, Agnes swallowed hard. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No, it’s just that I’m being accused of stealing money from Mrs. Barry.” Kimberly went on and explained what had happened from the time Deputy Danworth showed up at her door.

  “I think I need to sit down.”

  Agnes sat down and knew this would not be an easy case to solve. Perhaps she should send Eleanor a text, asking her to help out, but she’d hate to bother her partner when she was having a welcomed vacation away from Tawas and crime solving.

  “That’s certainly a lot to digest, but we have work ahead of us,” Agnes said.

  “I think that’s my cue to leave,” Corrine announced. “You’re in capable hands and I think it would be best for me to distance myself from you. I’ll have to work on the damage control if this gets leaked to the press.”

  “In a small town like Redwater?” Agnes asked. “I suppose you never know. The longer we can keep the sheriff from releasing anything to the press, the better.” Agnes frowned. “Isn’t the sheriff Mrs. Barry’s son?”

  “You have a good memory. Fortunately, he’s out of town. I dread what will happen when he gets back,” Kimberly said.

  “We might want to check and see if he’s really out of town and when he’ll be back.”

  “Can you think of anyone else who might have had access to Mrs. Barry’s accounts?”

  “No, not as far as I know.”

  “We’ll be making a trip to the bank to try to find out who else might have access to the accounts. And with so little to go on at this point, we had better be prepared that the case could take a while to solve.”

  “Sounds like you have it handled,” Corrine said on her way out the door. “Call me and keep me updated.”

  Kimberly and Agnes looked at one another when the door closed. “The sofa is a sleeper, too. I don’t think you’ll fit in Abigail’s crib,” Kimberly joked.

  “No, probably not. I must admit I was hoping to see the baby. I’m sorry I haven’t come to town earlier. I really hate that it’s under these circumstances now,” Agnes said.

  “Don’t blame yourself. At least I had the chance to attend your wedding and Eleanor’s wedding.”

  “That was certainly a highlight.”

  Agnes spotted the hot fudge syrup on the counter and asked, “Do you have any more ice cream?”

  “Help yourself. I was trying to drown my down mood in ice cream.”

  “It can help on occasion,” Agnes said. “You don’t mind if I help myself, t
hen?”

  “Of course not.”

  Agnes dished up the ice cream and decided the hot fudge would be a tad too much. She didn’t need to pack on any more pounds.

  She sat at the table as Kimberly fidgeted in the other chair. Agnes vowed right then and there that she’d find out the truth of who really stole Mrs. Barry’s money. She was certain of one thing: it wasn’t Kimberly Steele.

  Chapter 3

  Agnes was making pancakes when Kimberly finally made it out of bed. From the circles under Kimberly’s eyes, Agnes could tell her host didn’t get much sleep the night before. She decided to not mention it and give the poor girl a complex. Agnes then glanced at the table and noticed a bottle of prenatal vitamins. “Are you pregnant again?”

  “Yes,” Kimberly said bashfully. “I’m just over four months along now.”

  Agnes did the math in her head. “I’m glad I never had my children that close.”

  “That wasn’t in our plans, either. It was unexpected.”

  “I know all about that. Congratulations, Kimberly.” Agnes gave her a quick hug. “We’ll have to clear your name quickly, then.”

  “That’s certainly my hope.”

  Kimberly wore a pink dress that came to her knees with flats on her feet, not the sky-high heels she used to wear during her last pregnancy. Agnes couldn’t help but remark on it. “I can’t believe you’re wearing flats, Kimberly.”

  “None of my heels fit anymore so I gave them away to Goodwill.”

  “I bet some ladies will be so happy to find your shoes on the shelves in the Goodwill store.”

  “It’s not like I have any use for them. I decided wearing sneakers or flat sandals was more practical and I can’t risk a fall.” Kimberly put up a hand. “Oh, I know what you’re going to say, that it didn’t bother me with my first pregnancy. Well, I changed. I even wear flats as a spokesmodel now. Corrine says it’s more relatable.”

  “She’s probably right. Would you care for pancakes? I thought we should have food on our stomachs before we head out today.”

  “Thanks, that’s a great idea. I must admit I’ve gotten back my appetite today. There’s no sense in wallowing in self-pity. We have to clear my name.”

  Agnes carried the plates of pancakes and set them down, returning for the butter and syrup. While they ate in silence, Agnes was still debating if she should call Eleanor or text her. Eleanor would be so upset if she learned Agnes was investigating solo. She doubted that Eleanor would consider Kimberly as a partner. But Agnes was of another mind and Kimberly had a personal interest, since she was the one on the hot-seat.

  After breakfast they left and headed to the sheriff’s department. “I hope the sheriff is there today. We really need to pick his brain.”

  “Yes, but I’m not so certain how it will go if I’m there. I’d be one step closer to a jail cell.”

  “You could stay in the car if you want. I’m an old hand at getting the lowdown from sheriffs, although I must admit, this might be different.”

  They arrived at the sheriff’s department and before Agnes went inside she watched deputies walking in and out in a hurried fashion. “I wonder if something is going on?” Agnes asked. “The deputies certainly seem busy today.”

  “Probably trying to put a nail in my coffin,” Kimberly remarked.

  Agnes walked through the doors of the sheriff’s department, bumping into a female deputy. “Oh, sorry about that,” Agnes said. “What’s the fire?”

  “No fire. We have some problems at the city beach.” The deputy glanced around and whispered, “Topless bathers.”

  “I see. Well, that is certainly quite the crime. I bet the male deputies are lining up to take care of that.”

  “I hardly think that’s the case. Besides, a female deputy is the only one who can bring them in if they’re arrested. I only hope it won’t be me. Most of the people I know go to the beach.”

  Agnes watched several deputies crossing the parking lot and making way for the beach. Questioning the sheriff could wait. You can’t see the cops deal with naked beachgoers all that often. She wanted to find out how they’d go about it.

  Sand packed into Agnes sneakers as she walked on the beach where a crowd had gathered. Since Agnes couldn’t see anything, she elbowed her way to see if the topless beachgoers were dealt with or not.

  Agnes’ eyes widened dramatically when she spotted the women who were sunning themselves on a blanket with no intention of covering their lady parts. They weren’t exactly teenagers or even twenty-somethings. Why, they were about her age.

  One of the women told the deputies, “Back off, coppers. I just hate to be constantly bothered whenever I come here.”

  “Then quit coming here to sun yourselves topless,” a deputy said.

  He should have thought better to say that since the woman stood up, shaking her lady parts and eliciting groans from the deputies. A female deputy threw a towel over the topless woman’s shoulders and said, “It’s not the 1960s anymore.”

  The woman tried to elbow the female deputy away, but the deputy got the upper hand, cuffing and hauling the woman away. The other woman covered herself with a towel and went along peacefully.

  “Thanks, Ethel, for covering up,” a deputy said.

  “Who else would there to be to bail out Betty? I can’t imagine her calling her son again.”

  The woman left and Agnes smiled. “That certainly went quickly,” she said.

  “They’ll be back next week,” a young man said. “Ethel and Betty have been coming here once a week for the last few summers.”

  “It’s a riot,” a woman said. “I hope when I’m their age I’ll be that spunky, too.”

  Agnes left with a shake of the head. It seemed wrong to arrest a woman that age. It seemed like a ticket would be more appropriate than jail time. Of course the woman did refuse to leave the beach. But Agnes didn’t have time to ponder the issue much longer since she had really come here to question the sheriff.

  The next time she walked into the sheriff’s department, it was without incident. She heard screaming from someone and wondered if it could be one of the women from the beach.

  Agnes rang the bell at the counter until a woman ten years her junior walked up with a notable frown. “Can I help you?” she screeched.

  Agnes laughed at the woman’s voice. Either the woman was just mad or she talked like a bird all the time. “I need to speak with Sheriff Barry.”

  “Take a number. He hasn’t returned from Florida yet.”

  “I see. Well, is Deputy Danworth available?”

  “He’s on a call at the moment. I could take a message.”

  She slid a piece of paper Agnes’s way and Agnes filled out her name and number and jotted down that she needed to speak to him about an ongoing case.

  Agnes handed back the note and asked, “Do you know when the sheriff will be back?”

  The woman practically sneered. “We don’t give anyone that kind of information.”

  “I see. Is it standard practice to act this way with everyone who asks a simple question?”

  The woman opened her mouth as if to answer, but a young woman approached the counter and headed off the brewing confrontation. “I’m sorry. I stepped away from the counter,” the woman explained. “Let me handle this, Bertha.”

  Bertha rolled her eyes angrily. “Fine, but it’s not like you can tell her when the sheriff is due back. We have rules to follow.”

  “I know all about that, Bertha. Let me handle this.”

  Bertha reluctantly walked away and the younger woman sighed. “I’m sorry. Bertha follows the rules to the letter.”

  Agnes read the woman’s name tag. “Raine, I’d really appreciate if you could tell me when the sheriff is due back. I’m looking into the theft of the sheriff’s mother’s money.”

  Raine’s mouth opened in the shape of an O. “I see. I hope you’re helping out Kimberly Steele. I can’t believe she’d do something like steal from Mrs. Barry.”
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br />   Agnes smiled. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Kimberly hardly needs the money, since her husband is a lawyer.”

  Raine’s face fell. “From my understanding, he’s had a hard time of late finding clients. I can’t imagine it will be much better if you can’t clear Kimberly’s name. Mrs. Barry has Jeremy representing her in all of her lawsuits.”

  “I know all about that.” Agnes slid her card across the counter to Raine. “Call me when he shows up.”

  “I see on this note here that you also want to speak with Deputy Danworth.”

  “Yes. I’d like to speak to him if I can’t get ahold of the sheriff now.”

  “I see. I’ll be sure to pass the note to the deputy when I see him.”

  “Thanks, Raine. I guess I had better get going now.”

  “Good luck with your case.”

  Agnes left, hopping back into the car. “The sheriff’s out of town and they won’t tell me when he’ll be back,” she told Kimberly. “But I asked the young woman working the counter to give me a call when he’s back.”

  “That must be Raine. You’re lucky Bertha wasn’t working the counter. She’s not very nice.”

  Agnes didn’t make a comment for a moment, then she asked, “Is there a reason she acts like that?”

  “I think that’s just who she is.”

  “Perhaps. I should expect to hear from Deputy Danworth soon. He might be able to tell me something regarding the case.”

  “Good luck with speaking to him. I imagine not one person in town will want to support me once they hear that I allegedly stole from a senior citizen.”

  “The last thing you should do right now is worry about the rumor mill in this town.”

  “Maybe it’s not like that where you’re from, but the people in Redwater have nothing more to do than gossip.”

  “Every small town is like that,” Agnes said. “Let’s concentrate on what will help us gain more insight into this case. Surely someone had an interest to take Mrs. Barry’s money. I won’t know until I speak with her, though, which I hope will be soon.”

  “Thank you for coming, Agnes. I trust that you’ll solve this case.”