Pretty, Hip, & Hoodwinked

by Madison Johns

  “Where did you say that baby of yours is?”

  “At Jeremy’s chalet.”

  “How about we head there. I’d really like to see your baby.”

  Kimberly drove off and Agnes wished she had come to see the baby sooner. She hated that she had waited until now, when Kimberly was in dire straights. She only hoped that all the stress Kimberly was under wouldn’t adversely affect her pregnancy.

  They walked through the door of the chalet and Agnes admired the vaulted ceilings. It didn’t look much different than when Jeremy had lived there. The sofa and matching chairs were all leather and faced the stone fireplace with a huge flat screen attached to the wall above it.

  “I didn’t expect to see you back here so quickly,” the same fifty-ish woman from the day before said to Agnes.

  Agnes turned. “You must be Kimberly’s mother. Bethany, right?”

  “How did you know that?”

  “Jeez, mother, I told her you were keeping the baby with you while I sort out this case. Or while Agnes and I sort it out, that is. She’s an investigator.”

  Bethany’s eyes widened. “I believe Agnes told me that yesterday.”

  Agnes chuckled. “I usually investigate with my partner Eleanor. We don’t give up until we solve our case.”

  Bethany’s hands went to her hips. “Where is this partner now?”

  “She’s visiting her sister. Kimberly will be my partner on this case.”

  Bethany choked. “I think not. My daughter is pregnant again in case she hasn’t told you.”

  “Mother, that’s enough. Women these days are way more active than they used to be. I worked with Agnes in the past, and that was while I was pregnant with Abigail.”

  “I’d sure love to see the baby,” Agnes commented, trying to change the subject. “The last time I saw her she was a newborn.”

  Bethany let out her breath. “Oh, and where was that?” she asked sweetly now.

  “When I was married in Tawas.”

  “Married at your age?” Bethany cleared her throat. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that many people your age don’t—”

  “Get married, you mean? I’m more of a go-with-the-flow kind of senior citizen.”

  Bethany smiled. “I’ll go get Abigail. Betsie is feeding her in the dining room.”

  Agnes shot Kimberly a sympathetic look. Kimberly appeared sad and Agnes put an arm around her shoulders. “Why don’t you stay here while I investigate? That way you won’t have to be separated from your baby.”

  Kimberly sighed. “But I want to take part in the investigation, too.”

  “Then let your mother watch the baby while we’re investigating and you can pick her up later in the day.”

  “I-I’m not sure,” Kimberly responded.

  “You’re not sure about what?” Bethany asked, as she carried Abigail into the room.

  “Kimberly would like to pick up the baby when we’re through for the day.”

  “Kimberly agreed it would be best for me to keep the baby while she clears her name.”

  “But I miss my baby,” Kimberly said, her faced reddening. “I have no idea why you’re acting like this!”

  “I only want what’s best for Abigail,” Bethany said.

  “By keeping her away from her mother?” Agnes asked.

  Bethany’s eyes shot fire. “I’m trying to do no such a thing.”

  “Good, then you should have no problem with Kimberly picking up this sweet baby tonight,” Agnes said, as she lifted up Abigail, cooing to her.

  “But I—”

  “What is all this racket about out here?” a raven-haired woman asked, as she joined them. “I hope everything is alright.”

  “Yes,” Bethany began. “There was a little mix up. Kimberly will be back to pick up Abigail later.”

  “Oh, that’s for the best. I can tell Abigail misses you, Kimberly.” Then the woman frowned. “From what Bethany says, you haven’t called Jeremy yet. I hope you’re not planning to keep him out of the loop.”

  “But he’s working a big case.”

  “I know Jeremy would be upset if you don’t call and tell him what’s going on.”

  “I know that, Betsie, but I don’t want to derail his first chance at a big case. Agnes here is helping me clear my name. I only hope that I can talk Agnes into staying with me until this case is resolved. It’s strange with Jeremy not being home with us.”

  “I’d be happy to stay,” Agnes said. She cradled the baby in her arms. “I believe Abigail favors both her mother and grandmother.”

  “Thank you, Agnes. What a nice thing to say,” Bethany said.

  "I can see you really love your daughter. I promise I’ll do whatever is necessary under the law to clear her name.”

  “I’m sorry about the way I acted when you arrived. I really have my daughter’s best interest in mind. I shouldn’t have insisted that I keep the baby while the investigation is underway, but I wasn’t aware an actual investigator would be helping with the case.”

  “I understand. Do you know this Mrs. Barry?”

  “Yes. While she’s always been eccentric and rough around the edges, I consider her likable in an odd sort of way. I must admit I don’t know anyone her age that has such a love for a bottle of beer.”

  “She quit drinking after her operation. Doctor’s orders,” Kimberly insisted.

  “I find it hard to believe that old salty would listen to anyone,” Agnes said, adding, “I stayed at her house with my partner the last time we were in town.”

  “That must have been interesting,” Bethany remarked.

  “You could say that, but I rather like Mrs. Barry. Perhaps when I visit her, I’ll get more information. I must admit that some seniors go through a phase where they accuse people of stealing things when they can’t find them.”

  “Do you do that, Agnes?” Bethany inquired.

  “I must admit I do that on occasion when I can’t find something. But hardly in an accusatory way.” Agnes chuckled. “I usually find the missing item and feel foolish afterward.”

  “I really don’t think this is the case with Mrs. Barry,” Kimberly insisted. “I’ve never seen her act this way before.”

  “So, her mind hasn’t been slipping of late, like after her surgery?”

  “Not at all. She’s sharp as a tack.”

  “Well, I’ll determine that when I see her. Of course Kimberly won’t be along when I do. I hardly think I’ll get anything out of the old bird if Kimberly’s with me.”

  Kimberly sighed. “I suppose you’re right, but I hope I can help in some capacity.”

  “I’m positive as this investigation progresses, we’ll both be quite busy.”

  Abigail’s face reddened and Agnes handed her back to Bethany. “I think Abigail has left you a package.”

  “It’s not surprising. What time will you be back to pick up the baby, Kimberly?”

  “Around six.”

  Agnes glanced at her watch. “We should head out now, Kimberly.”

  Kimberly gave Abigail a kiss, caressing her cheek before following Agnes out the door.

  Chapter 4

  Kimberly pulled into the driveway to find Agnes’s partner with her hands cupped, peering through the living room window!

  Agnes chuckled. “It seems Eleanor caught up with me.”

  “Good. It would be strange to investigate a case without her.”

  Eleanor didn’t move from her stance at the window and Agnes snuck behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. “Did you find what you’re looking for?”

  Eleanor jumped and whirled with one hand against the window, the other clutched to her chest.”

  “Are trying to give me a heart attack?”

  “Didn’t you hear us pull in?”

  “No, I must have been too focused on window peeking.” She laughed.

  “Perhaps we should go inside before the neighbors call the cops.”

  They met Kimberly on the porch where she
just shook her head. “You two sure are comical. It’s no wonder I wanted you both to clear my name.”

  Agnes’s brow shot up. “Oh, and here I thought it was for our investigative skills.”

  “Well, that, too.”

  No sooner had Kimberly closed the door behind them, then Eleanor frowned at Agnes. “What’s this business about you investigating a case without me?”

  “You were visiting your sister.”

  “I don’t care what I’m doing, I’m your partner!” Eleanor exclaimed.

  Agnes eased down on the sofa. “I know, but you need to take time out for yourself.”

  “I thought we were friends.”

  “We are. I should have called you,” Agnes finally admitted. “How did you find out where I was?”

  “Elsie Bradford called me. Apparently Andrew was overheard telling Martha where you were headed.”

  “Oh, and where was this conversation? I imagine Elsie hasn’t resorted to eavesdropping.”

  Eleanor laughed. “But I thought we had perfected the art of eavesdropping.”

  “It can be a useful tactic at times.”

  “Does it really matter where they heard Andrew dropping the bag?”

  “That’s a strange comment, and no, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t understand why Elsie would call you. I’d think she’d assume I called you.”

  “Would either of you care for a pop?” Kimberly asked.

  “No,” Agnes and Eleanor said at the same time. “Sorry,” Agnes said. “We need to get this hashed out or we’ll never be effective investigators.”

  “Not a problem.” Kimberly’s phone rang and she winced. “I’ll need to take this in the other room.”

  “I can’t imagine what your sister thought, with you dropping her for me,” Agnes said.

  “It didn’t happen quite like that. She was understanding, though. I believe she’s expecting us to visit her after we sort things through.”

  “That’s kind of her. Where did you get Kimberly’s new address?”

  “Andrew. My Mr. Wilson will be rooming with him until we come back to town.”

  Agnes tried to visualize that, but was unable to without laughing since Mr. Wilson loved to make tuna casserole all the time. “At least we won’t have to worry about either of them while we’re gone.”

  “Our husbands expect us to take off and investigate at a moment’s notice.”

  “You’re right about that.”

  Kimberly came back into the living room, trembling and white-faced.

  “Whoa, sit down, dear,” Agnes said. “Who was on the phone to make you look like that?”

  “I-It was a reporter. Apparently, there will be an article in the newspaper tomorrow.”

  Agnes patted Kimberly on the back. “That’s awful, but it’s to be expected, I suppose.”

  “I won’t be able to leave my house.”

  “Nonsense, there’s no need to hide under your pillow. Eleanor and I will clear your name, but you wanted to help, remember?”

  “I do, but I’m wondering if I should call Jeremy and tell him what’s going on. I’d hate for him to learn about it from someone else. Who knows how it will sound then.”

  “How about you two clue me in about what Kimberly is being accused of,” Eleanor said.

  Kimberly was near tears so Agnes gave Eleanor a run down about what Kimberly was accused of and by whom. “Apparently Sheriff Barry is out of town,” Agnes said. “I wanted to speak to him about his mother to get his take on it.”

  “I see. Well, you had better call that husband of yours, Kimberly. I’m surprised he’s not here now.”

  “He’s in Detroit on a big case,” Agnes said.

  “I see. What else have you done investigation-wise, Agnes?”

  “Nothing. We just came back from the chalet so I could see the baby. She’s so precious.”

  “Aww,” Eleanor said. “I sure hope I get the chance to see her.”

  “You will. Kimberly is picking her up later.”

  “I’m not so sure now,” Kimberly said. “With the newspaper article coming out, maybe it would be better that my mother keeps Abigail until this is sorted out.”

  Agnes shook her head to remove the cobwebs. “What? Are you sure you want to do that? Your mother will think you quite fickle.”

  “I know, but I don’t want Abigail here if reporters decide to camp out on my doorstep.”

  “I hardly think that will be the case,” Agnes said. “You better make your calls, then.”

  “I already called my mother. I’ll be calling Jeremy soon.”

  “Where does that leave us?” Eleanor said. “I think Agnes and I could do something while you’re sorting everything out with the husband.”

  “Let’s head to the bank and see what we can learn,” Agnes suggested.

  “They won’t tell you anything,” Kimberly insisted. “They wouldn’t even tell me.”

  “So, how were you able to handle Mrs. Barry’s accounts if the bank wouldn’t give you any information?”

  “I was able to access the accounts before the money was missing.”

  “So who accused you of stealing Barry’s money?” Eleanor asked.

  “Mrs. Barry accused me of stealing her money.”

  “I wonder who noticed the money was missing,” Agnes said.

  “I have no idea,” Kimberly said. “I just don’t understand why Mrs. Barry rushed to judgment?”

  “Mrs. Barry might be wrong about who stole the money,” Eleanor suggested.

  “You should know how Mrs. Barry is,” Kimberly reminded them. “She’s not the easiest woman to deal with, especially if she feels wronged.”

  * * *

  Agnes and Eleanor strolled into the bank. They approached the open teller and Agnes asked, “I was wondering who I needed to speak with, it’s about Mrs. Barry’s theft claims.”

  The woman’s eyes widened and she called the bank manager. “You can take a seat; Miss Jackson will be along in a few minutes.”

  “What do you know about the theft?” Eleanor asked, leaning toward the teller.

  “Oh, I can’t talk about that. Our manager has told us the police are investigating.”

  “I see. Well, all I asked was if you were here that day or not?”

  The blonde fidgeted. “Look, I can’t tell you anything, honestly. I could lose my job.”

  “What if we spoke when you weren’t at work?” Agnes asked. “We’re investigating this case.”

  “I see, but I didn’t wait on the person who withdrew the money, honest.”

  Agnes didn’t have to wonder why the teller was fidgeting when the girl jumped as a dark-haired woman sporting a pixie cut walked into the lobby. “Where are they?” the woman asked.

  Agnes and Eleanor turned and walked over to her. “Are you Mrs. Jackson?”

  “Miss Jackson.”

  “You look a little old to be calling yourself Miss Jackson,” Eleanor said. Agnes gritted her teeth at Eleanor, who profusely apologized. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what made me say that.”

  “Follow me, then.”

  They walked past offices with full-length glass windows and doors. Each of them had a desk with two chairs. Apparently the bank wanted to know what the staff was doing at all times of day.

  Miss Jackson led them into an office at the back that was quite large. This one didn’t have glass doors or walls, except for a large window facing to the rear of the building with a view of Lake Huron.

  Agnes and Eleanor sat down, declining the informal greetings.

  “We’re investigating the case of Mrs. Barry’s missing money.”

  Miss Jackson opened a candy jar on her desk and popped a lemon drop in her mouth. “Sorry, I can’t talk about that. The sheriff’s orders, you see.”

  “Oh? Is he back in town? I was told he’s still in Florida,” Agnes said.

  “I still can’t believe that,” Eleanor added. “It seems as if he’d be in town if his mother is a victim of a crime.”


  “Most odd, indeed,” Agnes said, removing a notebook from her purse and jotting down the information before glancing back up at the bank manager. “When were you alerted that the money was missing?”

  Miss Jackson leaned forward. “I told you, I can’t discuss this case.”

  “I believe you did tell me that, but what I find odd is your inability to speak with a federal investigator.”

  “What?” She laughed.

  “You won’t be laughing when I file my report about how you’re impeding an ongoing investigation into the practices of your bank in this matter.”

  Miss Jackson asked, “Do you have any identification with you?”

  “As it so happens, no. In our haste to come out here, we inadvertently left it behind.”

  “I bet.”

  Agnes removed a business card from her purse. “I can give you the number of the attorney who is working with us. You know, in case we need to file a negative report about this bank,” she said, sliding the card across the desk.

  Miss Jackson snapped it up and stared at it, making a call. “Hello, this is Miss Jackson from the Redwater Bank. I have a couple of federal investigators in my bank looking into a case of missing money. Although they look to me like AARP members who should be in retirement.”

  She listened for a few moments and asked, “He needs your names to verify your identity.”

  “Agnes Barton and Eleanor Mason.”

  Miss Jackson relayed the information to the person on the other end of the line. “I see. Well, you really should remind them to keep their identification with them.”

  She ended the call and Agnes cocked a brow. “I hope you know there is such a thing as age discrimination in this country.”

  “I-I—”

  “I’ll have you know that we tried retirement, but it’s just not suited for us. We were quite fortunate to be able to resume working and I don’t think we came here to be insulted. We came here to investigate, like I said.”

  Miss Jackson put her hands on her desk as she pushed up and out of her chair. “What would you like to see first?”

  “We hardly have to see every document in the building. It would suffice to hear when the bank was first aware that Mrs. Barry’s money was missing?”