Dungeons & Gangsters

by Marco Frazetta

  “I can't disagree.” My voice trailed off.

  “And, I found these shoes. Still could use some work, but they’ll do.” She leaned a leg out and flicked her ankle a little, showing off a slip on shoe that looked good on her dainty feet.

  “Practically Cinderella.” I smiled, and to my surprise, she smiled back, her full lips accentuating her heart shaped face, her huge, sapphire eyes.

  I’d half forgotten about the strange thing I'd seen in the hall as we came back to the room. Probably wasn't anything. Still, the thought of it, and the cops, and the dragon and all that, got me jittery again

  “Yo, Skreech, flip the television on,” I said as the three of us walked in through the door. “Let’s see what the news is sayin’.”

  Skreech walked over to the old television set, towel still wrapped around his waist like a little goblin pharaoh, started flippin’ through the channels ‘til some local news came on.

  “—And you said you saw what, exactly, Mr. Jakoffavitch?” the mustached news anchor was holding his microphone towards an orc in red overalls.

  This orc replied, “as I was sayin’, it was just another morning, and this damn frog—”

  The anchor cleared his throat. “Bullywug, Mr. Jakoffavitch, please. They consider the term ‘frog’ to be derogatory and pejorative.”

  “Right, ah... hell, the Bullywug was ridin’ that warthog down the main thoroughfare, and I was just goin’ in for my mornin’ coffee when it comes churning out, tusks and all! Tusks like you'd never seen round these parts!”

  I chuckled. “These fuckin’ yokels. At least they ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the train out here in Kansas.” I turned to the girls. “You gettin’ hungry over there?” They both nodded. “Call me crazy, but I’m feelin’ pizza again.”

  We ordered up some pizzas again, gettin’ the same kind as last time.

  As we all ate there in front of the bed, Tyzee looked up at me. “This is good, but I could really go for some fried chicken and waffles.”

  An eyebrow raised, and I took a bite of the slice in my hand. “Chicken and waffles, huh? I’ll have to remember that.” I chewed. When we finished and had gotten dressed in the same clothes we’d been wearin’—which bothered me to no end—I decided it was time to question the hybrid girls, now that they were a little more lucid and coherent, even if they still didn’t necessarily know anything. I sparked up a joint, I needed to relax so I wouldn’t snap when I was askin’ ‘em my questions.

  “How you two feelin’?” I asked, looking from the one to the other. “You seem to be doin’ a lot better, at least compared to last night.”

  “Well it's better than being in that dungeon train,” Tyzee said.

  “Yeah, having new clothes helps.” Alelicia flicked her hair.

  “So, I wanna ask you again about last night. And I want you to be honest with me.” Hearing myself say this made my pointy red ears burn a bit in shame, as I hadn't been entirely honest with them. Skreech had come to sit by me, in front of the girls. The little shit had become kinda quiet since the girls had joined up with us, and I seriously started to believe it was ‘cause he was shy around these two gorgeous hybrid broads.

  “What do you want to know?” Tyzee asked warily after a moment.

  I puffed on the lit joint, looked from her to Alelicia, then back to her. “Let’s start from the top. What’s your name?”

  “I already told you my name, it’s Tyzee,” the orc girl growled.

  “Yeah, I know that,” I said calmly. “But what’s your last name?”

  Tyzee became confused, looked from Alelicia to me. “My last name?” she asked.

  “Yea, your last name, you know, your family name.”

  The girls both shared a troubled look, then, turning to me, Tyzee said, “I don’t know...I can’t remember it, if I ever even had one…”

  “What about you?” I nodded at Alelicia. She shook her head. “Okay.” I paused, turned to Tyzee again. “Where ya from, Tyzee? Any luck remembering?”

  “I remember you asked this last night, but I still don’t know. I’m sorry...whenever I try to think about it I just see fuzzy images of palm trees and beaches.”

  “And you?” I looked at Alelicia again.

  “It’s the same with me, I can’t even picture it really, much less describe it or pinpoint it... sometimes when I’ve closed my eyes I can briefly see a forest of trees, branches heavily laden with snow...a huge boat in the ocean...” The elf girl shrugged her shoulders.

  “And you both don't remember anything else? Being kidnapped? Someone with guns coming for you? Anything?”

  They both just stared at me a long moment. “It’s all just... fog,” Tyzee finally spoke up.

  Okay, let’s try somethin’ different. Honesty.

  “The thing is... it wasn’t just a stroke of luck that I happened to break you outta your train car.” The two girls looked at each other. Skreech looked over at me apprehensively.

  “What do you mean?” Tyzee asked, looking back over at me, her expression puzzled.

  “Well, you’ve already seen, I have pistols, shotguns, a damn bulletproof vest. I’m not some do gooder out there looking for broads to save. In all honesty, I’m one an outlaw, a criminal. But well, I try to be on the more gray side of things, rather than the dark, as much as I can.”

  “Chaotic neutral, boss.”

  “What?”

  “Nothin’.” Skreech went back to watchin’ TV.

  “Anyway.” I took a long ragged breath. “One of those big fuckin’ orcs that I laid out back there.” I pointed a thumb vaguely in the direction of Las Vegas. “He hired me and Skreech for a job, to knock over that train and get what was in that locked container.”

  “So you’re saying you came to steal us?” Alelicia asked, having regained her confidence.

  I looked at her in the eyes a moment. “Yes. Well, no, not exactly. When the guy came to me with the job—”

  “What guy?” Tyzee asked.

  “One of the dead orcs. J-Maxx. Doesn’t matter.” I sighed. “Anyway, when he came to me with the job, talkin’ real big, he didn’t know what was precisely in the train. He told me it could be gold, could be a load of good dope, could be jewels, guns. What mattered was that we got it and delivered it to the Dragon—”

  “The who?!” Alelicia asked incredulously, Tyzee matching her question with a look. I looked back and forth between them for a moment, wondering if they were fuckin’ with me. When I concluded that they weren’t, I thought to myself, of course they might not have heard about the Dragon, they didn’t live in the fuckin’ criminal world and it don’t even sound like they’re from California...maybe Tyzee could be, from what she’s sayin’, but there’s plenty of other places with beaches and palm trees...what a pain in the balls…

  “The Dragon,” I repeated, “he’s the boss of Los Angeles and he runs it with an iron fist...or claw...whatever. He’s a fuckin’ jerk and the point is, I never actually worked for ‘em, never met ‘em. I never imagined it was people in that container, thought it was some loot. Then when we opened up the train, I realized what was up. I refused to hand you two over to be his playthings.”

  “So...we were on the way to being delivered to this... Dragon?” Alelicia’s eyes went wide, her chin trembling.

  “Yea,” I answered quickly, then, remembered that wasn’t quite the truth. “Well, no, you were being shipped by Sentega. The billionaire lunatic. You must have been on the way to one of his spots.”

  “Sentega?” Tyzee asked, repeating the name.

  I saw the girls were both lookin’ really confused and alarmed.

  I rubbed my hand down my face tiredly. “I know, it’s a lot to take in right now. From what I can piece together so far, this Sentega guy, he must have arranged for each of you to be taken, then brought over to the States and moved around ‘til he could get you to one of his shady little warehouses or something.” I paused a moment, frustrated that I was seemingly overwhelming the girls with infor
mation, my brain hurting from tryin’ to put this complicated puzzle together. “Somehow, the Dragon caught wind that Sentega had you, decided he should relieve him of you and have you all for himself.”

  “I don’t feel well,” Alelicia said in a low voice after a couple moments, slowly rubbing her stomach.

  “What is with you, that these powerful people are dyin’ to get ahold of you?” I asked the girls suddenly, a worried thought forming in my mind. “Try to remember anything, maybe rich families, maybe you got some kind of magic, maybe you worked somewhere top secret, knew some kind of information? Maybe a genetic thing?”

  “I wish I could tell you. You know that.” Tyzee shrugged her shoulders and watched Alelicia stumble off to the bathroom. I never seen such lengths gone to just to get a couple girls, I thought briefly, even if they are hybrids. Hybrids are uncommon, sure, but they ain’t fuckin’ unicorns, hell, that one strip club in Los Angeles claims all the girls workin’ the poles there are hybrids.

  After Alelicia had come back from the bathroom and sat back down next to Tyzee on the bed, I lit up another joint. I grew introspective as I puffed on the joint and looked at the girls. They were lookin’ back at me with scared, dazed eyes. I felt a stirring in my loins, I wanted the both of them there and then, I would have taken them hard, I would have... Fuck, I thought, I’m already really into these two...I care about them, I’m intensely attracted to them. I gotta be careful, though. The way things are lookin’ right now, they’re dead weight... I want to protect them, maybe even be with them, but is it worth it? Can I ever trust them? I looked hard into Tyzee’s eyes. These broads could get me whacked just by us bein’ found together by the wrong people. I took a last puff on the joint and dropped it into the ashtray on the little table next to me.

  “I already asked you this,” I began somewhat wearily, “but now I need to know for sure. I’m asking you now that you’re a little more coherent and not all drugged out or whatever you’ve been. And I'm asking you now that you know that I’m... well what I am. How I live. If you want to go your own way, I won’t stop you, but you won’t be safe. The Dragon has spies everywhere, so does Sentega, and they both have to know by now that their game has changed. If you come with me, it has to be for the long run.”

  “How long?” Aleicia asked.

  “As long as it takes. To get you two some of your memories back. Until you're in a good place. I’ll protect you, create a new life for myself... with you in it.” I looked at them both in the eyes. “So, what do you want to do? Do you want to come with me and we’ll start fresh somewhere else? A new city, a new opportunity.”

  The girls didn’t reply to me for some moments, they exchanged worried, scared glances with each other again, they seemed to be holding some sort of silent conference.

  When they didn’t say anything for another minute or two, I got frustrated and told them, “Look, I’ll live one way or the other. I’m not part of the crew that took you and fucked with you. But at the same time, if you’re not willing to work with me here, then I don’t see a point in us goin’ down this path together.” I paused, letting that sink in. “And know that if you do come with me, if I tell you to do somethin’, do it without an argument. I’m lookin’ out for you, do me a favor and don’t disobey me when I’m doin’ that.”

  Skreech nodded solemnly. He knew that following a few commands from me at the right time had saved his little green ass more than once.

  “What do you mean... be in your life?” Alelica said.

  “Well...” I understood then. “No, you got it wrong. I mean, you’re pretty girls, but—I’ll make sure you always have a separate place to sleep. I don't need any more complications in my life. I’ll always respect you, as ladies, is what I'm saying.”

  There was another long silence, then Tyzee was the first to speak, asking. “Do you have a plan…?”

  “I’m workin’ on that,” I replied simply, tryin’ to keep my tone and my face confident but neutral. Truth was, the way I saw it, I realistically only had a couple options open to me, but I needed to know if I was gonna have more company than Skreech with me or not. Tyzee suddenly arose from the bed and stood there before me, I was slightly taller than her, but we were almost face to face and eye to eye. She seemed to have come to some sort of internal conclusion.

  “I can’t speak for her.” She nodded back at Alelicia, who was still seated on the bed. “But I’ll come with you... I want to come with you. As strange as it sounds right now traveling with a shady pothead crook like you seems less horrible than going to the cops… men in uniforms, holding cells, empty concrete rooms with long mirrors… I just don't want to see any of that right now. And this might not sound like much, but of the few days I do remember... you're the most decent being I’ve met.” She held my eyes for a moment longer, a brief shadow of a smile showing on her face, going as quickly as it came. I awkwardly smiled back at her, nodded, then turned to Alelicia.

  Seeing that she was in the spotlight, the elf girl nervously spluttered, “wait, wait. I don’t understand, why can’t we just go to the police, or the government or something? They’ll take care of us.”

  I longingly watched the shape of Tyzee’s ass through her denim shorts as she moved back over to sit on the bed next to Alelicia. Then I turned to the elf girl, as patiently as possible, muttered, “Sure, you could. But that cop, or the captain that he tells your wild ass story to, is more likely than not on the payroll already of one of the two rich, dangerous motherfuckers I told you about, or they’re on the payroll of someone who is. At some point in the chain of command of whatever government agency you go to, someone who works for Sentega will find out about it, and then... well, he was the one who put you in that train to begin with, as far as I know. So it’s up to you if you want to take your chances.”

  “They’re really that powerful?” Alelicia asked.

  “The Dragon’s got a long reach, a billionaire like Sentega, even longer. Why do you think neither are ever caught, ever prosecuted? These guys aren’t afraid of the system because they have the system working for them. But in the end, you can take your chances with them, if that’s what you really want.” I held my hand out, showing her the decision was hers to make.

  She looked from me to Tyzee then back to me, waited a long minute.

  “I’ll come with you, too,” she said finally. “For now.”

  I raised my eyebrow at the ‘for now,’ not liking the sound of it, but decided against picking at it for the time being. I felt like a small victory had been won somehow. Not so much that the girls had decided to come with, though I can't lie and say that didn't please a certain side of me, but more than that, I knew who was with me, and who was against me. I had people who counted on me, people who looked to me for guidance, for protection. I had a tribe. And to a hobgoblin, as much as I don't like to admit it, that's everything. I sat back down and pondered the new landscape. I feel elated in a way, about having the company of two girls like these, their trust, even if it was fragile, but the situation is lookin’ pretty fuckin’ grim otherwise.

  The news kept droning on in the background.

  “Good,” I said. “Since you both have put your trust in me, I want to do good by you.”

  “And me. I have too,” Skreech added, like a little kid who’s being forgotten.

  I paused, shot the goblin an annoyed glance. “Since the three of you have put your trust in me, I’m gonna put my trust in you. I’ll keep it a hundred with you.” I looked from face to face, “Shit’s not lookin’ great right now. It’s lookin’ pretty fuckin’ stark, to be honest. We’re on the run, all of us, and what cash I have on me now is all we got at the moment... And it ain’t much. I’ve scoured my brain, I’ve thought of every possible option, and there’s only one I can see right now.”

  “What is it, boss?” Skreech asked.

  “Yea, what’s our only option?” Tyzee inquired.

  I didn’t answer right away, I turned away from her and looked at the televi
sion. Somethin’ about it had caught my attention. There was some kind of crime being covered by national news.

  “It happened at Dwarven Stars, the jewelry and diamond distributor in the northwest quarter of Philadelphia.” A news anchor, this one an asian human woman, eyelashes like claws, spoke in that refined anchor voice. “Authorities indicate that this armed robbery is attributed to an organized crime family. One involving hobgoblin lineages which trace back to medieval times. There were three reported assailants, all wearing masks, but the red ears protruding out from them, gave this wounded security guard the clue to identify them as the goblinoid race.”

  The news then cut to a hospital room where a black human security guard was standing on crutches. “They shot me! They shot me in the ass!”

  “Son of a bitch,” I muttered. Then a bitter laugh escaped me. “It’s a sign from the friggin’ gods. You can never get away from your home.”

  “What do ya mean, boss?” Skreech asked.

  “We’re goin’ to Philly,” I replied.

  “Philly as in Philadelphia?” Alelicia wrinkled her nose at the words. I doubted the broad could have even pointed Philly out on a fuckin’ map.

  “Aw come on, boss, Philly?” Skreech groaned. “It’s a fuckin’ orc ghetto!”

  I turned to the goblin, gritting my teeth, wonderin’ if he had even remembered that part of the conversation about five fuckin’ minutes ago, when I specifically said don’t argue with me. “This is the plan, and it’s the only plan we got right now, alright?” I spat. “I got some... family in Philly, good people. I’ll go to them and I think, just maybe, we’ll be alright from there.”