by T. Smollett
Mrs. Grizzle exerts herself in finding a proper Match for her Brother;who is accordingly introduced to the young Lady, whom he marries in dueSeason.
I have been the more circumstantial in opening the character ofTrunnion, because he bears a considerable share in the course of thesememoirs; but now it is high time to resume the consideration of Mrs.Grizzle, who, since her arrival in the country, had been engrossed by adouble care, namely, that of finding a suitable match for her brother,and a comfortable yoke-fellow for herself.
Neither was this aim the result of any sinister or frail aggression, butthe pure dictates of that laudable ambition, which prompted her to thepreservation of the family name. Nay, so disinterested was she in thispursuit, that, postponing her nearest concern, or at least leaving herown fate to the silent operation of her charms, she laboured with suchindefatigable zeal in behalf of her brother, that before they had beenthree months settled in the country, the general topic of conversationin the neighbourhood was an intended match between the rich Mr. Pickleand the fair Miss Appleby, daughter of a gentleman who lived in thenext parish, and who though he had but little fortune to bestow upon hischildren, had, to use his own phrase, replenished their veins with someof the best blood in the country.
This young lady, whose character and disposition Mrs. Grizzle hadinvestigated to her own satisfaction, was destined for the spouse ofMr. Pickle; and an overture accordingly made to her father, who, beingoverjoyed at the proposal, gave his consent without hesitation, and evenrecommended the immediate execution of the project with such eagerness,as seemed to indicate either a suspicion of Mr. Pickle's constancy, ora diffidence of his own daughter's complexion, which perhaps he thoughttoo sanguine to keep much longer cool. The previous point being thussettled, our merchant, at the instigation of Mrs. Grizzle, went to visithis future father-in-law, and was introduced to the daughter, with whomhe had, that same afternoon, an opportunity of being alone. What passedin that interview I never could learn, though from the character of thesuitor, the reader may justly conclude that she was not much teasedwith the impertinence of his addresses. He was not, I believe, the lesswelcome for that reason: certain it is she made no objection to histaciturnity; and when her father communicated his resolution, acquiescedwith the most pious resignation. But Mrs. Grizzle, in order to givethe lady a more favourable idea of his intellects than his conversationcould possibly inspire, resolved to dictate a letter, which her brothershould transcribe and transmit to his mistress as the produce of his ownunderstanding, and had actually composed a very tender billet forthis purpose; yet her intention was entirely frustrated by themisapprehension of the lover himself, who, in consequence of hissister's repeated admonitions, anticipated her scheme, by writing, forhimself, and despatching the letter one afternoon, while Mrs. Grizzlewas visiting at the parson's.
Neither was this step the effect of his vanity or precipitation; buthaving been often assured by his sister that it was absolutely necessaryfor him to make a declaration of his love in writing, he tookthis opportunity of acting in conformity with her advice, when hisimagination was unengaged or undisturbed by any other suggestion,without suspecting in the least that she intended to save him thetrouble of exercising his own genius. Left, therefore, as he imagined,to his own inventions, he sat down, and produced the following morceau,which was transmitted to Miss Appleby, before his sister and counsellorhad the least intimation of the affair:--
"Miss Sally Appleby.
"Madam,--Understanding you have a parcel of heart, warranted sound, to be disposed of, shall be pleased to treat for said commodity, on reasonable terms; doubt not, shall agree for same; shall wait on you for further information, when and where you shall appoint. This the needful from--Yours, etc.
"Gam. Pickle."
This laconic epistle, simple and unadorned as it was, met with ascordial a reception from the person to whom it was addressed, as if ithad been couched in the most elegant terms that delicacy of passion andcultivated genius could supply; nay, I believe, was the more welcome onaccount of its mercantile plainness; because when an advantageous matchis in view, a sensible woman often considers the flowery professions andrapturous exclamations of love as ensnaring ambiguities, or, at best,impertinent preliminaries, that retard the treaty they are designed topromote; whereas Mr. Pickle removed all disagreeable uncertainty, bydescending at once to the most interesting particular.
She had no sooner, as a dutiful child, communicated this billet-doux toher father, than he, as a careful parent, visited Mr. Pickle, and,in presence of Mrs. Grizzle, demanded a formal explanation of hissentiments with regard to his daughter Sally. Mr. Gamaliel, without anyceremony, assured him he had a respect for the young woman, and, withhis good leave, would take her for better, for worse. Mr. Appleby, afterhaving expressed his satisfaction that he had fixed his affectionsin his family, comforted the lover with the assurance of his beingagreeable to the young lady; and they forthwith proceeded to thearticles of the marriage-settlement, which being discussed anddetermined, a lawyer was ordered to engross them; the wedding-clotheswere bought, and, in short, a day was appointed for the celebration oftheir nuptials, to which everybody of any fashion in the neighbourhoodwas invited. Among these, commodore Trunnion and Mr. Hatchway were notforgotten, being the sole companions of the bridegroom, with whom, bythis time, they had contracted a sort of intimacy at their nocturnalrendezvous.
They had received a previous intimation of what was on the anvil, fromthe landlord, before Mr. Pickle thought proper to declare himself; inconsequence of which, the topic of the one-eyed commander's discourse,at their meeting, for several evenings before, had been the folly andplague of matrimony, on which he held forth with great vehemence ofabuse, leveled at the fair sex, whom he represented as devils incarnate,sent from hell to torment mankind; and in particular inveighed againstold maids, for whom he seemed to entertain a singular aversion;while his friend Jack confirmed the truth of all his allegations, andgratified his own malignant vein at the same time by clenching everysentence with a sly joke upon the married state, built upon someallusion to a ship or sea-faring life. He compared a woman to a greatgun loaded with fire, brimstone, and noise, which, being violentlyheated, will bounce and fly, and play the devil, if you don't takespecial care of her breechings. He said she was like a hurricane thatnever blows from one quarter, but veers about to all points of thecompass. He likened her to a painted galley, curiously rigged, witha leak in her hold, which her husband would never be able to stop. Heobserved that her inclinations were like the Bay of Biscay; for why?because you may heave your deep sea lead long enough without everreaching the bottom; that he who comes to anchor on a wife may findhimself moored in d--d foul ground, and after all, can't for his bloodslip his cable; and that, for his own part, though he might make shorttrips for pastime, he would never embark in woman on the voyage of life,he was afraid of foundering in the first foul weather.
In all probability, these insinuations made some impression on the mindof Mr. Pickle, who was not very much inclined to run great risks of anykind; but the injunctions and importunities of his sister, who was bentupon the match, overbalanced the opinion of his sea friends, who findinghim determined to marry, notwithstanding all the hints of caution theyhad thrown out, resolved to accept his invitation, and honoured hisnuptials with their presence accordingly.
CHAPTER IV.